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electroid - electroid (also electroyd) 1.) of or perhaps pertaining to in some distant undefinable way Dan Akroyd. 2.) anything even dimly related to anything to do with electromagnetic, acoustical, or any frequency of any type of radiation, beam, ray, radio frequency drivers, pulses or pulsars, lasers, phasers, scalars, or any device or piece of machinery relataed to any of the aforementioned in any way, shape or form such as a computer, adding machine, dial telephone, television, human being, extra terrestrial, chimera, rock, bush, or piece of stained glass. Note: "route" from the language of Tara Sidra. Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell,The U.S.Government, and countless other so-called experts and entities all used all other kinds of words, and talked around many, many concepts without using the very occult and esoteric word "electroid."

e.g., 1. Every time I think of John Belushi I think of electroyds. Any idea why I do that? 2. "Do you have any idea why electroids are associated with Tara Sidra?" "Nope. What the hell is a Tara Sidra. Never heard of it." "Me neither. But I think it may be a 'who and not a 'what.'"

submitted by George Kelly and Nancy Robertiello

grundyism - Grundyism, a real word: "a prudish adherence to conventionality, especially in personal behavior." From Mrs. Grundy: "Mrs Grundy is a figurative name for an extremely conventional or priggish person, a personification of the tyranny of conventional propriety. A tendency to be overly fearful of what others might think is sometimes referred to as grundyism." Here at the pseudodictionary, a grundyism will henceforth refer to those proscriptive "Rules of English Usage" taught in US public schools to students my age and younger.

e.g., When I was going to school, learning English consisted mostly of learning a slew of grundyisms. One notorious rule: Never split an infinitive.

submitted by Mrs Grundy

mono-diet - A diet that conists of a single food.

e.g., How've been doing lately? Not too bad all things considered. My mental attitude and health seem to be in good shape. As for my physical health, I have a few things wrong with me. But that's to be expected with someone our age. One thing, however, really burns my ass -- a seriously bad case of assteroids. The main trouble with that, of course, is that I've had to cut back on my mono-diet of crunchy peanut butter.

submitted by Lillith

assteroid - I've decided that the a better word than hemorrhoids for the "pain caused by venous swelling at or inside the anal sphincter" would be assteroids.

e.g., How've been doing lately? Not too bad all things considered. My mental attitude and health seem to be in good shape. As for my physical health, I have a few things wrong with me. But that's to be expected with someone our age. One thing, however, really burns my ass -- a seriously bad case of assteroids. The main trouble with that, of course, is that I've had to cut back on my mono-diet of crunchy peanut butter.

submitted by Lillith

documonial - A portmanteau of "documentary" and "testimonial." Best definition is a quasi-intellectual piece done in the style of what used to be known as "journalism" containing just enough verifiable facts to avoid being labeled an outright falsification, but still filled with unsubstantiated claims and statements by a small number of individuals and outliers and intended to serve the agenda of its creator. Closest synonym to date: "propaganda."

e.g., The latest documonial from #WalkAway encourages blacks to leave the Democratic party but offers little real proof as to why they should do this.

submitted by Bicycle Bill

thermonitor - (thir-MON-i-tur; n.) A thermometer. (A child's pronunciation; from Greek thermos "heat" + monitor "watcher.")

e.g., The thermonitor says it's sweater weather today.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

flusks - (n.) Dental floss "tusks" hanging from the mouth, formed by the dangling ends of a string of floss in the teeth, left for some reason while the flosser does something else, or, more embarrassingly, forgotten. [From "floss" + "tusks."]

e.g., She suddenly realized why everyone in the grocery store had looked at her so oddly when she glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw the flusks hanging from her mouth.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

eschertecture - (ESH-er-TEK-cher; n.) Architecture which seems convoluted, bizarre, even impossible: stairways that feel like they lead to a floor they can't lead to; hallways that improbably intersect; rooms that seem to be somewhere they shouldn't be---essentially, a building layout that goes out of its way to turn you around, get you lost, and basically confuse the hell out of you. [From Escher (Maurits Cornelis (1898-1972) + (archi)tecture. Escher is the world-famous Dutch artist whose mathematically themed work focused on unexpected perspectives, tessellations, and illusions, especially the depiction of impossible objects, as in his Relativity (1953), Ascending & Descending (1960), and Waterfall (1961)). The word "Eschertecture" first(?) appears in James Alan Gardner's 2017 "All Those Explosions Were Someone Else's Fault."]

e.g., The engineering school building has a fairly straightforward layout, at least, now that I've been here three years, but when I first got here, it was pure Eschertecture. It took me half an hour just to find the second floor, and the big window on the third floor, that somehow overlooks the quad ... well, it just couldn't. Still can't as far as I'm concerned.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

lexture - (lex-CHOOR; also lext; v.) 1.To lecture (i.e., reprove, chastise, bawl out) by text; 2. to lecture (i.e., instruct, teach) by text.

e.g., "Did you get busted for breaking curfew?" "Yeah. My mom lextured me fpr, like, six hours about it." "Bummer."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

bumanism - An style of behavior where someone brags about the fact that she lives a great lifestyle without working.

e.g., Tommy has an apartment, a car, and a new cellphone, but hasn't held a job in five years -- strictly living off the kindness of others and public assistance. The purest Bumanism.

submitted by Juana Martin

nerd stacking - The wearing of different fandoms in top to bottom fashion. E.g., hat, shirt, pants, socks and/or shoes. Warm weather variant of Nerd Layering.

e.g., Did you see Justin's Marvel tshirt/DC socks nerd stacking? It's a pretty bold statement.

submitted by Tim Reinerman

procrastichoring - To procrastinate by doing your chores

e.g., I had tons of homework to do that I didn't felt like doing, so I spent all day procrastichoring. I changed the sheets, did the washing-up, did the laundry. ... At least I left the flat all cleaned.

submitted by Lidia Fernández Cristóbal

bumblestoob - A completely inept dolt. A ridiculous clod.

e.g., I bet on a heavily favored football team but they fielded a group of bumblestoobs and lost by the biggest margin in team history.

submitted by Fred Carraher

sneakables - Used to refer to those sneakers which are comfortable.

e.g., Wow. She always wears a sneakables. I wish I could find some.

submitted by David

spoiker - A person who loves making spoilers. SPOILER + MAKER

e.g., He is a spoiker. He told me everything about the end of the final season of the series.

submitted by Andreea

bedrunk - An adjective to refer to how you feel when you go to bed a little bit tipsy or drunk and you feel the bed is moving.

e.g., Yesterday, when I arrived from the party, I was so bedrunk I puked all over my floor.

submitted by Teresa

kindy - It is used to refer to someone who is kind and pretty at the same time.

e.g., She's so kindy I couldn't help falling in love with her.

submitted by Maria

scump - Noun. A vile, evil, lying, criminal, rascist, sexist, traitorous rapist, pussy-grabbing scum that survives by inciting people to hate other subsets of humanity.

e.g., Schkackel says Donald Trump is a vile, evil, lying, criminal, rascist, sexist, traitorous rapist, pussy-grabbing scum who survives by inciting people to hate other subsets of humanity who has earned the title of The Scump.

submitted by Redbendad - (www)

alt-reich - Noun. The combined White Nationalist and American Taliban movements taking power in the USA under Donald J. Scump.

e.g., Schlackel says that Steven Miller and the Alt-Reich are taking power under President Scump.

submitted by Redbendad - (www)

ichthyous - Of or evocative of a fish symbolizing resurrection.

e.g., Jonah is looking hella ichthyous.

submitted by 222

inicronym - 1. An abbreviation of a phrase that is part initialism (pronounced as a string of letters) and acronym (pronounced as a word). 2. An abbreviation standing for the name of a criminal organization. From iniquity and acronym.

e.g., JPEG, the name of a lossy photo file format, is an inicronym.

submitted by 222

prophespy - 1. To prophesy while conducting extensive surveillance on users for profit. 2. A prophecy endorsed by a search engine.

e.g., Google prophespied that the Third Temple would open in January 2, 2020, on its knowledge panel for the Temple Mount.

submitted by 222 - (www)

roadsome - Jetsome and Flotsome describe legally define wrecks and cargo debris on seashores and along maritime routes. Roadsome is a word needed to describe the automotive debris and cargo found on road and highway margins.

e.g., I saw some fine roadsome today and picked up a perfectly good tire and rim from the side of US 395.

submitted by Fred

vulgocracy - Rule of or by the base, common, and uneducated.

e.g., Before social media, persons of means or wit rose to the top. Now the rabble of the vulgocracy rampage thither and yon on social media.

submitted by Mr. Noah Tall - (www)

lamestream - Used by a select few who actually understand that most everything mainstream culture has to offer is lame.

e.g., Hey dude, you're not mainlining the lamestream again are you? That'll rot your brain.

submitted by Mike W.

slavic - (SLAVE-ick; adj.) Of or pertaining to slaves or slavery.

e.g., Slavic punishments, throughout the history of slavery, have ranged from the rare mild rebuke at one end to the far more common imprisonment, beating, and torture at the other. | Slavic history is fairly horrible.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

titanical - (tie-TAN-ick-al; adj.) Of or pertaining to the Titanic (RMS Titanic, sank 2:20 am on 15 April 1912).

e.g., The Titanical cemetery is in Halifax, Nova Scotia. | The Titanical disaster was titanic, claiming over 1500 lives.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

pretendian - A person who pretends to be an Indian, that is, a Native American. Found in a comment to an article regarding the fuss about events that took place at the Lincoln Memorial on January 17. Activist Nathan Phillips confronted a student from a Covington, Kentucky, Catholic high schoool.

e.g., Like Liz "Pocahontas" Warren and Ward Churchill ... this dude is as likely as not, just another pretendian.

submitted by [PoliTech] - (www)


submitted by

clinton's legacy - A society in which ten- to sixteen-year-olds (pre-adolescents and adolescents, children all) engage in all kinds of sexual activities and say what they are doing isn't sex.

e.g., Mom, what I'm doing is OK. It's part of Clinton's Legacy.

submitted by Lillith - (www)

sight - Site. A misspelling in an e-mail I received. Also, I presume, a fairly common misspelling for "cite."

e.g., "Is there a way to search the sight?"

submitted by Miss Speller

jewish lightning - An insurance fire -- i.e., a fire set deliberately in order to be able to collect insurance. Not at all as uncommon as you might like to think. Used by owners of failing business to bail themselves out of financial trouble.

e.g., "Yes, as small as the town was we had two movie theaters. Both prospered until the early 1950s when many residents got TVs. ... And both mysteriously burned down in the 1960s, corresponding with a further decline in theater goers. More than a few people thought the fires were instances of Jewish lightning.

submitted by Jewish lightning - (www)

dadabase - Suggested by a ytpoe for database. A dadabase is a database holding the names of men who might be the defendant in a paternity suit filed by a promiscuous woman who isn't sure which of several men is the father of her daughter. ... It's hard to find a non-pejorative term for a promiscuous woman, but nowhere near as difficult to find one for a promiscuous man. Several such terms can be found at the linked site. Most of them are words or terms I've never heard before.

e.g., Donna, are any of the men in your dadabase rich? Professional athletes? Rock stars? I think we should concentrate on them before throwing a wider net. No more than three, though.

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

cusstormer - A customer so irate she starts cussing up a storm.

e.g., "Any music you choose to play while cusstormers are on hold is likely to piss off some of them, given the state of mind they're in. All I want to know when I'm put on hold (for a long time) is that the line hasn't gone dead. White noise will suffice for that, perhaps in the 55 - 60 dB range."

submitted by Magic Mike - (www)

tv - Television, of course. Usually capitalized: TV. One of the very few instances where your erstwhile Editrix Extraordinaire (aka LGB) is willing to give up the old ways of capitalizing abbreviations -- and side with the chat room and texting crowd and go with all lower case. "show us you can muster the energy to reach the shift key. text in all lowercase is hard for us to read; text in all uppercase will be rejected."

e.g., "From all the indignant noises I'm at least hearing emanating from the halls of Congress and the, hitherto 'Give Peace a Chance' crowd on cable tv I should think that heck, for all I know Congress could in a day or so round up enough votes to declare war on, not just the usual suspects of the Middle East but the whole world if that's so important."

submitted by Lillith Gordonna Bennett

pseudo-email - Also pseudoemail, pseudoe-mail, and pseudo-e-mail. E-mails sent to a mobile device via MMS or SMS gateways appear to be an e-mail to the sender and a text message to the receiver. Replies appear to be text messages to the mobile device user and e-mails on the other end. Some people are e-mailers while others are texters. Texters typically use so-called smartphones, while e-mailers use "computer" and … say, flip phones. Luddites use corded landlines

e.g., Please reply to confirm receipt. If you save, a future reply sends pseudo-email. Text to you; e-mail to me. Lets me save texts with images.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

talko - A "typo" is an error when typing; therefore, an error in voice recognition software should be called a "talko"...a nd for added amusement it resembles the word "taco." Maybe in the future the emoji of an actual 🌮 will be used in place of the word.

e.g., I could hardly understand what she was saying in her text because it had so many tacos.

submitted by Brian Kruschwitz - (www)

enneadocracy - (ee-nee-add-DOCK-crass-ee; n.) 1. Literally, "rule of nine", that is, investing government in a council of nine people; 2. control of the United States by its Supreme Court, a group of nine judges, which was never given power to determine constitutionality of anything, but awarded it to itself in Marbury vs. Madison (1803). One who celebrates or champions control by the Supreme Court is an "enneadocrat" (ee-nee-ADD-oh-crat). The Latin form is nonarchy"rule (by) nine" (nona- "nine" + archy "rule"), which can also be interpreted "out of control" (non- "not," "without" + archy "rule," "governance," "control")---just a thought. Cf. "Nazgul" herein. [From Greek εννεαδος enneados “a group of nine” + κρατια kratia “power,” on analogy with democracy “people power" (to whom the power really ought to be returned)]

e.g., The Constitution never envisioned the Supreme Court's usurpation of the legislative and executive powers and its establishment of an enneadocracy.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

notagonna - Not going to. It's only a three-character savings, but I need them to save newsprint.

e.g., " I realize that I must be obsessive-compulse -- neurotic? -- for doing that, but that's notagonna stop me."

submitted by Lillith - (www)

linkaholic - A person addicted to sending links.

e.g., I admit to being a linkaholic -- even though I realize people rarely take links in e-mails. Of course, as my son said to me in the noughts, "You could blog."

submitted by HD Fowler

step-hell - (n.) The world from the point of view of us leg amputees, where every house has multiple levels, and every front door has stairs leading up to it, hard to navigate on the best days, even in a prosthetic leg, and impossible in a wheelchair.

e.g., I live in step-hell: no one builds ramps; everyone has to have stairs ... everywhere.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

countical - (adj.) Concretely countable; of or pertaining to a set of discretely enumerable things.

e.g., Factories usually turn out (literal) tons of countical goods. | Dogs and trucks are countical; jello and milk are not, unless packed in separate, countical containers.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

gthese - These. The g is silent. Created to accommodate ytpos -- my own, in particular. In general, the prefix g can be added to the spelling of any word without affecting the way the word is pronounced. Works particularly well with words that already start with g.

e.g., gthese

submitted by Miss Speller. - (www)

acidulicious - (a-SID-yu-LISH-us; adj.) Tasty and tangy like an orange: slightly sour but delicious. [From acidulous "slightly sour" + delicious.]

e.g., Wow, this lemonade is acidulicious. Truly.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

arboromorphic - (AR-bor-o-MOR-fik; adj.) 1. Shaped like a tree; 2. reminiscent of a tree. [From Latin arbor "tree" + Greek morphe "shape."]

e.g., From space, river deltas are arboromorphic: they have a trunk and branches and everything. | Broccoli is oddly arboromorphic; in fact, some have used it to fill in for trees in miniature landscapes. | I have heard it said that the ents in the Lord of the Rings movies are not anthropomorphic trees; that makes them, I guess, arboromorphic ... trees.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

fict - (v.) To make something up, especially a lengthy, detailed something. [From "fiction."]

e.g., As a young father, I ficted hours of stories for my children about an evil, backward Superman called Nam Repus. | It's sad, but some kids tend to excuse themselves by lying, ficting alibis to escape parental punishment.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

nidiculous - A misspelling of the real word 'nidicolous." | From Wikipedia: "A nidicolous animal is an animal that stays at its birthplace for a long time because it depends on its parents for food, protection, and the learning of survival skills. They are the opposite of nidifugous species, which leave their parents more quickly and survive independently." (Will change Wikipedia wording to match.)

e.g., Some of my friends have gone from being nidiculous to being ridiculous.

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

cordeal - (core-DEAL; intr. v.) 1. To speak the truth despite its having devastating, even catastrophic consequences; 2. to remain loyal or loving despite monstrous betrayal; 3. to return to assist someone who has turned from you or betrayed you purely out of loyalty; 4. to be brutally honest, even if it hurts the speaker or the hearer. [From Shakespeare's King Lear, who demands that his three daughters (Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia) vie to declare which loves him best. Cordelia refuses, and Lear disowns and banishes her; she nevertheless returns and attempts to save her father after Goneril and Regan rebel and usurp the royal authority.] (cf. "Learize," "Gonerillify," and "Reganate.")

e.g., If you read the whole of Perrault's Cinderella, you discover that Cinderella cordeals amazingly, finding wealthy husbands for her cruel stepsisters and taking no vengeance on he evil stepmother.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

stumthing - A cross between stuff and something. This word is used to describe something vague that can't quite be remembered or readily identified.

e.g., There is stumthing I really like about this place ... I'm not sure what it is, but it's stumthing. | I have stumthing caught in my throat. | There is stumthing on my windshield and I can't get it off.

submitted by Chris Moran - (www)

bumblethumb - When you superlike on Tinder by accident after spending a day on Bumble.

e.g., Damn, I bumblethumbed. I swiped up and superliked someone when I was just trying to see her pics. I wasn't even interested, not really.

submitted by Patrick Dorn - (www)

bellet - An art form combining the moves of ballet and the belly dance. Capitalization recommended as a proper name.

e.g., Let's go to the Bellet tonight.

submitted by Wade Hodges - (www)

graycade, greycade - The period, corresponding approximately with the 2010s, characterized by gray paint and other materials in architecture and interior design.

e.g., In this decade we've seen gray everything (cars, kitchens, etc.) and also too many annoying blended words like "staycation." Thus it might as well be remembered as the graycade.

submitted by Dr. Dan Muldoon - (www)

tv - Television, lower-cased abbreviation. In general, I'm opposed to the way the English language is being diminished by the use of chat room talk and texting. However, I'm ready to make my first disgruntled and hesitant step into the 21st century and its obsession with so-called smart devices. You must admit that, for a typist whose skills are rapidly waning, not having to use the shift key is, indeed convenient.

e.g., "Even though ads on tv claim that one in five 'relationships' start on the Internet today, the probablilty that that will ever happen with me is infinitesimally small -- virtually zero. Perhaps slightly greater -- maybe close to the probability that matter will escape a black hole. Do you realize that eventually, over time, a black hole will disappear?" "Dad, doesn't time cease to exist in a black hole? If it does, I'm a bit puzzled by the notion of a black hole 'disappearing over time.' Aren't you?" "Well, now that you mention it, son, I guess I am. ... Back to the drawing board." "Dad, I think there's a TED talk on this very subject." "Ted the Bear? I didn't know he was still around. Or that he could talk. Wonder of wonders."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

pseudo-link - A link to the pseudodictionary, especially a link to a word in the lexicon.

e.g., The link given for this entry is a pseudo-link.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

trendsnob - /trend-snob, trenz-nob/ n.: a person who holds in contempt styles that are no longer in fashion and looks condescendingly on those who do not follow current trends.

e.g., I saw my childhood home listed on a real-estate website, and cried because some trendsnob ruined it with so-called updates.

submitted by Dr. Dan Muldoon

gemus - People who must complete or finish any game that they started playing.

e.g., Ethan isn't just a boy who loves video games but he's such a gemu sometimes that he doesn't even sleep or eat because of his obsession.

submitted by Micah

redogulous - A descriptive word for times when your dog is being ridiculous.

e.g., Jett Washington being redogulous when she wanted my attention while I was on the phone.

submitted by TerryLynn Johnson

mickey mouse's adventure is playing out with trump's hollywood s - Mickey Mouse's adventure is playing out with Trump's Hollywood star. Trump-haters, using a pickaxe, rather than Mickey's axe, destroyed Trump's star, only to have it multiply. Bigly.

e.g., Mickey Mouse's adventure is playing out with Trump's Hollywood star. Trump-haters, using a pickaxe, rather than Mickey's axe, destroyed Trump's star, only to have it multiply. Bigly.

submitted by Mickey Mouse's adventure is playing out

inciteful - Insightful.

e.g., "Your mini op ed is shockingly inciteful!" [John Dawson]

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

vehicularly disinclined - Abhorrence of or for automotive work/repairs.

e.g., Steve is vehicularly disinclined. He throws wrenches in the street while cussing profusely as he changes a tire.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

eclecstacy - The satiation felt when things from all over come together.

e.g., The furnishings of this room give me great eclecstasy.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

absolute insanity - Any speech or actions you can't understand at all.

e.g., My childrens' absolute insanity may be due to a generation gap.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

isolatude - The quiet you get inside your head when you obey your reclusive behavior. Isolitude.{Duplicate}

e.g., I like the islolatude I get when I stay the hell away from people.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

fractofragmentannoyance - The desperation you feel inside your head after a while of obeying your reclusive behavior.

e.g., After a few weeks of solitude, my fractofragmentannoyance starts to eat at my soul.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

crumbage - Where all the extra flavospice hides in a bag of chips, box of cookies, etc. What's left in the bottom of the container.

e.g., I like the crumbage; it's most tasty.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

overspiceage grandioso - Something like adding 3/4 cup of cumin to your two lbs. of potato salad.

e.g., When I put the 15 habaneros in my salsa I had no idea it would be overspiceage grandioso.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)


submitted by

beh - A filler word like "ummm." Curiously, today is the blogger's 35th birthday. The example is an exact replication of what was blogged some 17 years ago, with the exception of the quotation marks. Trying to read something written like that gives me a headache. {Duplicate.} {ED. Note: Have lost the ability to write paragraphs separated by a blank line. Didn't need to for this example -- the writer ran everything together just the way it appears here.}

e.g., "Monday, July 02, 2001Song: A Place For My Head (Linkin Park) Heh a Linkin Park day today!!! My friends think it's weird I like them cause I don't look like the kind of person that would be listening to them....but oh well!! I listen to all kinds of music..well sorta...I listen to music if I like the way it sounds...hell I even listen to rap if it sounds good, like Missy Elliot's new single...beh I can't remember the name of the song. Hmmm anyways...I got my comic up!! yay!!!...I think I'm getting some what none in the world of the online artist....but that's ok I'm on the level I enjoy being somewhat unknown..beh I got used to it in high school...I speak of it as if it was soo long ago it was only a month ago I graduated lol. Oh yeah the other day some one thought I was a foreigner beh...I left out words when I was was an accident I was too hyper.....they thought I was japanese just because I don't have an american accent when I speak japanese....they asked 'are you hakujin??' ,me 'no I'm american'" ,them' no no hakujin!! kokujin to nihonjin no mix!!' ,me 'chigau!!!! americanjin!!! kokujin to turkishjin!!' ,them' ..............Nihongo umai jan!! nihonjin mitai dana' , me *shin~~~~* thinks 'shiteru zo!! mou shijiranai!!' 'domo'.....beh it was soo weird lol heh sometimes I wish that would happen more often so I could pratice japanese more..but ther arent' many japanese people in the city I live in..... "

submitted by Lillith - (www)

buttface - Having the phone in your pocket accidentally FaceTime someone without your being aware of it. Similar to butt dialing, but more tech savvy stylistically.

e.g., Fred: Hang on for a minute, Ted. I have to take this call. ... Crap, there's no one there -- or it's someone in a cave. Ted: "Who called?" Fred: "Our old friend Jim." Ted: "Ah so. I call him Jim the Luddite. It's not just that he didn't come along with us into the 21st century; he regressed to the 19th century. He just buttfaced you, Fred. He does that to me all the time. We were better off when all he had was an analog phone line with a long cord."

submitted by Andy - (www)

testymony - Testimony given grudgingly by someone who shows how annoyed she is for having been called to testify. People who testyfy instead of testifying are not only hard to get along with, they're also hard to believe."

e.g., "Did you watch Peter Strzok when he testified before that congressional committee last week?" "I watched maybe thirty seconds of it, then went back to streaming a movie. I could tell watching would just piss me off." "You missed a doozy. What Strzok did was testyfy rather than testify. I've never seen anyone act the way he did after swearing to tell the truth. I hope I'm not around to see something like that happen again."

submitted by testymony

nextopia - Not the same as utopia -- a utopia being a society where everything is in harmony and ideologically well-structured. Nextopia differs from utopia because all we ever get to is the next quick fix.

e.g., Our government never seems to make any progress towards coming up with long-term solutions for society's major problems. The best we ever get are changes that put us on the road to nextopia.

submitted by anonymous

political hacknostics - Politicians who have no belief in America or the American political system but are involved in public office strictly for personal gain and aggrandizement.

e.g., You see them in the House. They're in the Senate. They're the political hacknostics with no faith in America and no desire in passing legislation that improves and benefits Democracy. They blindly vote their party line, while currying favors to gain seats on more powerful committees. Their dedicated goal is to be reelected,for the power, prestige and personal benefits of office are great indeed. To that end, they keep a public image of constituent support and effectiveness, greeting all with hand shakes and smiles, while privately they wear their cynicism on their sleeves. The beliefs they do own are for the two pillars of politics: Patronage and Perks. They are the shame of America.

submitted by Chaflie Lesko - (www)

voice vandalizer - The name for the voice analyzing software of any smart phone that misunderstands what you have said while texting which absolutely necessitates that you proofread before sending.

e.g., While dictating a text message I said, "evidently," and the voice vandalizer came back with "ever Denteley." I 'd look like an idiot if I didn't realize that before I sent the text.

submitted by John S. Duckering - (www)

redpill - From the movie _The Matrix_: "The pills represent a choice we have to make between accepting the truth of reality (red pill), which could be harsh and difficult, and maintaining our blissful ignorance of the world (blue pill), which is way more comfortable."

e.g., "And lately some of those channels have become rallying points for white nationalists and white supremacists looking to redpill users in discussions around contentious, already-politicized news events."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

illegaler - More illegal. A variant of the comparative form of the base word.

e.g., "Illegal guns have always been with us. A moment's thought should clarify that new laws won't change that. (If criminals get their guns illegally now, is a new law supposed to make them even illegaller?)"

submitted by [Daniel Schwartz] - (www)

demobbed - Demobilized from active duty in the military. {Duplicate}

e.g., "After being demobbed, he then completed his training at the Central School of Speech and Drama."

submitted by [Richard Vernon] - (www)

pac-man - Pac-man: To reduce a large task, job or mission into small and manageable bite-sized pieces. These small bite-sized pieces of a project can later be assembled to form a completed task, job or mission.

e.g., Mr. Chivo Expiatorio knew that the many illegal charges laid against him would require him to adopt a pac-man approach in researching, reading, and understanding the legal process. Bite by researched bite, digested pieces by reading pieces, his fueling would come from his consumed power pellets that would drive his understanding of the legal process.

submitted by Albert D. Pereira - (www)

demwit - A Democrat who is, by definition, a dimwit.

e.g., Like most demwits, you have no logical inference skills.

submitted by [NicolasBourbaki] - (www)

covfefe - Coverage.

e.g., President Trump tweeted, "Despite the constant negative press covfefe...."

submitted by [President Donald Trump] - (www)

adult - Verb: to behave like an adult; to take care of yourself and your own affairs. ... I'm not sure Henry Watson Fowler had in mind going this far when he said, "After all, it is an ancient and valuable right of the English people to turn their nouns into verbs when they are so minded."

e.g., "With student loans, exams, and having to start adulting, no wonder college kids need a good cry every once in a while."

submitted by [Christina Flygstad] - (www)

chicken escamilla - Stolen chicken. Specifically, chicken stolen in Cameron County, Texas, over a nine-year period.

e.g., "Gilberto Escamilla said, 'It started small and got bigger and out of control. ... The total value of the fajitas, which were stolen during a nine-year period, was $1,251,578. That figure does not include the brisket, pork chops, sausage, and various types of chicken Escamilla also admitted to stealing, court testimony revealed.'"

submitted by HD - (www)

smackular degeneration - The decline in societal good behavior by the generations whose parents "spared the rod and spoiled the child."

e.g., Have you noticed that young adults have no respect for their elders, for polite discourse. for tradition and common values? With the abolishment of a parent's hand applied firmly against a stubborn, rebellious, non-sensible young child's backside, we've lost the educational power of parental discipline. Young adults have grown up to believe that they know everything. Is the new employee who now works next to you, stubborn, disrespectful, and a real "wise ass?" Blame "smackular degeneration!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

different's - Difference.

e.g., "Had Hillary just stayed in the woods, Comey coming out about her two weeks before the election made no different's."

submitted by [thattheticket] - (www)

ad hok - Ad hoc: Unplanned, for one specific case.

e.g., Dag • 16 hours ago Clearly there is no justice in America at least not the famous one with the blind lady justice statue. In this Banana Republic with its partisan corrupt law enforcement the are no laws protecting those who are not affiliated with the left and there are wide discretionary ad hok rules specifically made up to protect the left. There are kangaroo courts with judges that make up laws and apply them to whomever they do not like as they see is approaching the biblical Sodom.

submitted by [Dag] - (www)

cuck - Short for cuckold, a man whose wife has sex with other men. Apparently there are many men who encourage the behavior, so it's not always right to call it cheating. A woman whose husband has sex with other women is know as a cuckquean.

e.g., "[Hillary Clinton's] only qualifications for public office were her genitals and the fact that she didn't divorce Bill Clinton, no matter how many times he cheated on her, and it wasn't enough. Her decades of lies and duplicity and power-hungry striving brought her just short of the finish line. That's a continuing source of relief, even for a cuck RINO #NeverTrump traitor like me. ... The Dems backed a candidate who was so awful that she lost to THAT guy, and they just can't seem to accept that they did this to themselves." || You-know-who is not only the first woman to make a serious challenge in a run for President of the United States, she's also the first cuckquean to do so.

submitted by Lillith - (www)

coonspiracy - A conspiracy, as carried out by raccoons. Heard about the Halloween prank of outhouse-tipping from my grandparents. They had a concrete walk going to their outhouse -- still there until I was about eight years old, but no longer used. They had a concrete cistern to collect rainwater for indoor use in the days before city water was piped in. The cistern was a cylinder about ten feet tall and ten feet in diameter. Its walls were about six to eight inches thick. In later years a door was blasted in it and shelves were built so it could be used to store home-grown potatoes. It doubled as a tornado shelter in case one was ever needed.

e.g., "Given the way outhouses in my neighborhood have been getting tipped over lately, I have no doubt that it's the result of a coonspiracy that started last Halloween."

submitted by Miss Speller

mathermatics - Arithmetic as practiced by hip-hop stylist Marshall Mather aka Eminem.

e.g., "Slamming President Trump is very popular with my fans. According to my mathermatics, my new album should sell 6 million copies."

submitted by Miss Speller

hipocracy - Government by hipsters, the hip.

e.g., "The hipocracy and projection are stunning."

submitted by HD - (www)

tone policing - "Tone policing is a term used in the social justice warrior set for a 'silencing;'tactic the privileged use on the oppressed. A tone-policing exchange might go something like this:"

e.g., "Campus Feminist: I am pretty darn fired up about the lack of sculpture from a feminist perspective in the student union. It makes me want to smash things. | Campus Bro: Hey, let‰€™s keep it calm so we can have a productive conversation. You‰€™d catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar." | Campus Feminist: Stop tone policing me, dude.

submitted by HD - (www)

lawndry - Time consuming, repetitive outdoor work.

e.g., Like "doing the laundry," which requires collecting the dirty clothes, sorting, then putting each load in the washing machine; transferring the wash to the drier; then folding the clean clothes and putting them away, each and every week(!), the "lawndry" entails the same, dull, repetitive, time killing chores for the outdoors of a homeowner. Maybe it's time to move to an apartment or a condo?

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

lonvici - When you think a place is long away from here but it is not quite. Vici, - from the Latin near.

e.g., I thought coming to your house would be lonvici, but that's not the case as I found it to be very near.

submitted by Rocco Di Matteo - (www)

amigal - (uh-MEE-gull; adj.) 1. Of or pertaining to friendship; 2. friendly. [From Spanish amigo "friend" + -al adjectival ending.]

e.g., It is best to maintain amigal relations with your peers. | At the pet store, I bought an amigal beagle as a companion.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

imp pact - The venerable ancient agreement that allows those irksome little denizens of the Nether World to inflict, for their amusement, stupid but embarrassing pranks on Humankind. Examples: spilling coffee all over the front of one's shirt, or finding your trouser fly unzipped at work.

e.g., "Okay, Steve, your hands and arms waving at me are intended to get my attention and tell me something so serious that it's worth interrupting my important presentation to these 300 hundred top engineers of our company. So...what is it?" "Imp pact barn what?" "Barn door, what?" "Oh...Barn door, open???...Oh...OHH...OHHHH!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

ignoranouse - Ignoranus.

e.g., "I don't like supporting uninsured ignoranouses because of stupid choices they make in life."

submitted by [D Mason] - (www)

om inous - A feeling of doom that persists even while doing your Yoga exercises and your self calming morning chanting.

e.g., Driving to work, Homer had his second om inous episode as he saw the truck bearing down on him.

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

modeluscious - Used to refer to a luscious model -- of the female variety.

e.g., "Columnist Jimmie Fiedler reports: '€œcommercial photographer Paul Hesse and modeluscious Elyse Knox are engaged...'"

submitted by HD - (www)

scrumalilcious - Scrumptious and delicious.

e.g., Your lemon meringue pie was scrumalicious.

submitted by Judii Evans - (www)

expediate - Expedite. Heard the example this morning.

e.g., "Kansas congressman Kevin Yoder 'expediated the process' of getting a visa for a Nigerian woman so she could come to San Antonio to watch her son play in the Final Four."

submitted by Miss Speller

prog dog - Unkindly: a progressive son-of-a-bitch. More kindly: someone on the left end of the political spectrum -- who could aptly be referred to as barking mad or barking at the moon.

e.g., "A lot of this can be reversed, of course, but, for now, the Trump Caravan moves on even as the assorted prog dogs grow hoarse from barking."

submitted by [W. Lewis Amselem] - (www)

virtue signaling - Show and blow about making things better while actually doing nothing -- or actually making things worse.

e.g., "In a post written long, long ago (March 12, 2012), I noted that under the late and unlamented Obama/Clinton foreign affairs team, 'There is no foreign policy coming from the White House, except a default position of apology, appeasement, and accommodation.' It was all just show, what now would be called 'virtue signaling.' Not all of that, of course, was the fault of Obama or Clinton or her even more despicable successor, John 'Christmas in Cambodia' Kerry. There is a culture at State which I described as revolving around public displays of affection for the Secretary; more than that, it is based upon open adoration of the Secretary, who quickly becomes an almost mythical figure possessed of unbounded wisdom and insight. What we have, in other words, is a diluted version of North Korea. You go to staff meetings, and they ring with statements, such as 'the Secretary has said,' 'the Secretary wants,' and 'the Secretary was right on point this morning.' You have not seen grown people -- mostly men -- try to outdo themselves praising the Dear Leader until you have gone to a morning meeting at State chaired by somebody who just attended a prior staff meeting chaired by the Secretary. As the kids say, 'OMG!' People you thought reasonable lose all reason, all critical faculties as they rush to appear the Most Loyal Servant of the Secretary. These are supposed to be Americans, defenders of the Great Republic, but you expect them to break into Anna's song, absent the irony, 'Yes, Your Majesty; no, Your Majesty.Tell us how low to go, Your Majesty; make some more decrees, Your Majesty; don't let us up off our knees, Your Majesty. Give us a kick, if you please, Your Majesty. Give us a kick, if you would, Your Majesty Oh, That was good, Your Majesty!'"

submitted by [W. Lewis Amselem]

leadership - The ship leading the convoy.

e.g., "Which ship will the President be on?" "The leadership, of course."

submitted by HD

sound byte - Sound bite. The example comes from "How Lexicological Inventionaryism Became So Popularish (Hint: It was Almostly Subliminable)" in EastWesterly Review. {Duplicate.}

e.g., "No one ever accused English of not accepting new words, but three speakers have certainly tried to stretch the language to the breaking. James Joyce, Snoop Doggy Dogg, and George W. Bush have all done their part to make the invention of new words an acceptable art form. Yet the potential for misunderstanding increases with each creation and, depending on one's position, that misinterpretation could be deadly. | "The proclivity towards linguistic innovation is nothing revolutionary, but it does seem to be indulged in more often these days. Part of this is likely due to the arrival of the sound byte, and grammatical and lexical mistakes by figureheads are often replayed constantly in a show of media superiority. New words thus enter the collective unconscious and, instead of being mocked as errors, eventually gain credibility simply by public acceptance and familiarity."

submitted by [Hillary Hardcore] - (www)

lass reunion - What you have when the class members from an all-girls school get together for a reunion. ... Or, a class reunion that occurs after all the males in the class have died.

e.g., MB: "Jay, do you think you'll be coming to our 70th anniversary class reunion next year?" Jay: "Not if you-know-who will be there. Ugh, he really turned into a creep, didn't he?" MB: "No, he didn't. You're wrong about that." Jay: "C'mon. Surely you're not going to tell me you don't agree with me that he's a creep." MB: "Oh, he's a creep all right. But he didn't 'turn into a creep.' He's always been a creep. You just didn't notice it before." Jay: "Ah, I see your point." MB: "You do realize, don't you that he's somehow managed to outlive all the other boys in our class. Hard to believe, given all the things he had wrong with him at our 60th: two widowmaker heart attacks, diabetes, prostate cancer, skin cancer, colon cancer--" Jay: "He has colon cancer? I didn't know that. When was he diagnosed with it?" MB: "Sometime between when we saw him in October and Thanksgiving." Jay: "He didn't tell me." MB: "Well, he didn't tell _me_ until mid-March, right before our Easter weekend reunion. He said he tried to tell you several times, but you wouldn't talk to him anymore. Not after he sent me that stupid gag e-mail, the one that made me think you were seriously ill. I was ready to kill him when he told me 'dasypygal' meant having hair-covered buttocks. ... I wouldn't have found out either, but there was no one else he could talk to. And he made me swear on a Bible -- he actually insisted that I use my family Bible -- that I wouldn't tell you until after he was dead -- or until our 70th reunion. I think we're close enough now that he won't get mad at me. ... You do realize that after he dies, what we'll be having is lass reunions?

submitted by Walter Dejanym - (www)

snoop latin - Yet Snoop Doggy Dogg, Dr. Dre protégé, reached millions more. His lexical stylings remind one more of a language than simply word creation. What I call "Snoop Latin" involves inserting "-izz" or "-izzay" into previously established (often monosyllable) words. Thus a profanity dealing with excretion becomes shiznit, drive becomes drizzive, and fake becomes fizzake. Snoop Latin can be used in a similar method as Pig Latin: profanities can slip by censors when coded into a foreign language. Bizznatch, another Dogg concoction, works on multiple levels not unlike the multitudinous examples from Finnegan's Wake, indicating both bitch and snatch in an unified word using "-izz" as glue between the two ideas. Again, the word slips by the censors.

e.g., "Yet Snoop Doggy Dogg, Dr. Dre protege, reached millions more. His lexical stylings remind one more of a language than simply word creation. What I call 'Snoop Latin'' involves inserting '-izz' or '-izzay' into previously established (often monosyllable) words. Thus a profanity dealing with excretion becomes shiznit, drive becomes drizzive, and fake becomes fizzake. Snoop Latin can be used in a similar method as Pig Latin: profanities can slip by censors when coded into a foreign language. Bizznatch, another Dogg concoction, works on multiple levels not unlike the multitudinous examples from Finnegan's Wake, indicating both bitch and snatch in an unified word using '-izz' as glue between the two ideas. Again, the word slips by the censors."

submitted by [Hillary Hardcore] - (www)

quandry - Quandary: "state of uncertainty or perplexity especially as requiring a choice between equally unfavorable options."

e.g., A fundamental tenet of a sane legal system has to be that people caught breaking the law do not benefit from their crimes. Corollary: Children who come to the United States with their illegal alien parents should not benefit from their parents' crime(s). At the same time, justice demands that children not be punished for what their parents do. It's a quandry, isn't it?

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

tick - Tic.

e.g., "In _The Silence of the Lambs_, Anthony Hopkins gave his character, Hannibal Lecter, several unscripted ticks that ended up becoming integral to the film."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

forded - The time in a man's life when, either through having a family and needing more room, or because of aging and losing vital reaction time, the man is forced to give up his beloved sports car and buy a Ford station wagon.

e.g., Goodbye zero to sixty in five seconds. Goodbye racing around twisting mountain roads at 85 mph. Goodbye leaving Pinsky, our snooty neighbor and his Pinto way back in the dust at our local traffic light. Goodbye forever, Elsa, my gorgeous sweetheart German BMW. My doctors and family have gotten together and insist that I'm too old for that type of driving. I've been Forded!

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

sleepy hide - As you grow older, the increasing skin and body twitches that signal it's late and time for you to go to bed.

e.g., My eyes and face may not show it, but there's a nerve dancing behind my ear, and a persistent throbbing in my left calf. They're my sleepy hide warnings that it's after 10:00 p.m. Good night!

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

gaudiophemia - (n.) 1. a. Repeated expressions of joy; b. a series of ecstatic outbursts; 2, a tendency to use jubilant interjections in one's speech.

e.g., "Wow! Yes! Hooah!" "I know you're glad you aced the test, Scott, but save the gaudiophemia until after class."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

suckless - (adj.) 1. Not bad (as in "it does not suck"); 2. satisfactory; not suffering from obvious flaws or failures; 3. (facetious) good.

e.g., "What did you think of my performance?" "Suckless." "Gee, thanks."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

fur stration - The emotional turmoil an owner of a long haired cat or dog has, in dealing with his pet's loose strands.

e.g., It's worse in the Spring. I walk into my house, and Butter's soft, golden hair is starting to cover everything --- the furniture, the rug, the sport jacket I just brought back from the cleaners. Those floating strands are wafting slowly in the air around me and are landing on my head, on my face, in my eyes, achoo! On the terrible fur stration of a long haired pet owner!

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

begrizzled - What he is when a man is sick and in the hospital and cannot shave: begrizzled.

e.g., The begrizzled one is still sick.

submitted by yvonne harris - (www)

himit - Gender specific appellation for a male recluse, ae opposed to the female, hermit.

e.g., To be honest, the sex of a himmit, or a hermit, isn't normally socially significant.

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

anti-misogynistic - The feeling a guy gets towards his girl when he's obviously screwing something up and she is pointing it out to him. Humility is the remedy for this problem.

e.g., When Steven's girlfriend is pointing out obvious flaws in his personality, he doesn't like it and so he gets frustrated pretty quickly ... and becomes misogynistic. Steven could stand a big dose of an anti-misogynistic syrup.

submitted by Steve Zihlavsky

anti-romance - The things you do as a guy that really piss your girl off: e.g. telling her what to do or how to do something.

e.g., Stephen likes to tell his girlfriend what to do and how to do it but then, maybe there's a word equivalent to anti-romance for girlfriends with their boyfriend. {ED. Steve, I think the word may be anti-rowomance.}

submitted by Steve Zihlavsky - (www)

all-go-rhythms - A simple, convenient explanation for the workings of complex, modern technology when you don't know the answer.

e.g., "Grandson, you're asking me how Amazon's Alexa was able to play my request for Blind Willie Anderson's old, obscure blues song without one little bit of hesitation? It's very simple: it's because of today's technical use of all-go-rhythms!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

acusstic - Combining the word "cuss" and "acoustic" -- audible swearing.

e.g., The President is known for his accustic meetings. Swearing to release stress and tension is something we all do.

submitted by Danny Kostyshin - (www)

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