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patheticity - Condition of being pathetic. Measure of how pathetic something is.

e.g., She grinned wryly at the patheticity of his situation.

submitted by MDC

pathetidork - Pathetic dork. Someone whose only friends are online. She's played Dungeons and Dragons every day for at least seven years. Can also be used as pathetisad. Made popular by the Drew Carey Show.

e.g., Ryan hasn't left his house in two years; he's never kissed a girl. Ergo, he's a pathetidork. I was one, too, but I grew out of it.

submitted by Ryan

pathetisad - Pathetic and sad put together, but more so.

e.g., You are beyond pathetisad. You have been home all day and not got off that couch.

submitted by Billy/Jenny - (www)

pathetisad - To be overly wretched or useless; to be beyond hope; to be completely and utterly pathetic

e.g., We felt that Jon's decision to drop out of college and return to the tree farm was pathetisad.

submitted by Dan

pathology - The scientific study of paths and walkways in forests, both those made by humans and those made by wild animals. Trained practitioners of this science usually use the title 'pathologist,' while amateurs are called pathfinders.

e.g., You'll need to talk to John Henry about that; he's is our local expert on pathology.

submitted by Robin Nilsson

patooey - You say this word when something doesn't work out the way you wanted or when you receive bad news. Ptui.

e.g., Friend: I can't go snowboarding this weekend cuz I'm grounded. Me: Patooey.

submitted by elena

patricia - A slang name for a wire stripper, named after the song "Patricia the Stripper."

e.g., The tech asked, "Anyone seen Patricia?"

submitted by Steve

patridiot - A person who rabidly patriotic to the point of idiocy. Any body whose sole reaction to 9/11/01 was buying and displaying an american flag on their SUV

e.g., W's speech at ground zero really frothed-up all those patridiots.

submitted by Chris Marshall

patrifex - 1. A fecund woman. 2. A faulty condom.

e.g., "Chris is a patrifex; Michael's the fifth one to have dropped out of her in six years." "Yeah. She and Dave really ought to invest in some decent rubber johnnies instead of those bargain basement patrifices they usually buy."

submitted by Tama Boyle - (www)

patriotic barnacles - All the cute little stickers and decals soccer moms and trophy wives (among others) fashionably threw on their SUV's after 9/11, which have since lost all meaning to them.

e.g., Man, you can't even see who's driving that Lexus, what with all the patriotic barnacles encrusted on the windows.

submitted by Giovanni Dania - (www)

patriotically correct - A variation of "politically correct" in which one displays sloganeering, nationalism, blind obedience to authority, and suspicion of Arab-looking people or any criticism of foreign policy.

e.g., Since September 11th, it's patriotically correct to shout down those who question the government.

submitted by Danny Middleton

patroscending - Extremely patronizing and condescending.

e.g., Please don't be so patroscending. I'm not that much of an idiot.

submitted by moink

patrotize/patrotizing - Attempt to sell products by patronizing target audience with crass generalizations concerning how they should be living their lives. Mobile phone companies frequently adopt this angle utilizing tag lines such as, "Make the most of Now".

e.g., "I didn't realize how life is short and I should make the most of it and should also value my friends an family and furthermore be aware that now I can work whenever and wherever I want to increase my productivity whilst also bearing in mind that's it's important to sometimes just switch my mobile off and enjoy the moment I'm in, until I saw that marvelous piece of patrotizing".

submitted by Ewan Thomson - (www)

pattearning - Use of the patterning process while self-learning a sport. When LEARNING sports such as skiing and golf, the most effective way is to use one single PATTERN all the way through the progression. Then instead of being called PATTERN, it is called "Pattearning" because of its efficient contribution to fast and lasting results when learning.

e.g., Just pattearn your submittals after mine, and your words are a lot more likely to get accepted. Oh, and follow the guidelines, too.

submitted by Gaston St-Pierre

pauce - Poor, of absent worth. Back formation from "paucity": "an insufficient quantity or number." From the link.

e.g., Despair the oxygen depleted by these pauce and worthless souls.

submitted by Rex Regia - (www)

paul - the guy who created the site

e.g., paul sure did create pseudodictionary.com!

submitted by Paul Jarvis - (www)

paul & ratchet - A device for inhibiting the runaway progress of wordsmiths.

e.g., The paul & ratchet served admirably to curb my verbal diarrhea.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

paul edic - ########## Editor Paul's on-line derivative of the PD, the E. Dic. (e-Dictionary).

e.g., "Thee Allah ji had" is a word cribbed directly from the Paul Edic.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

paulin garret - An attic where one makes tarps.

e.g., The paulin garret was choc-a-bloc full of canvas and tar.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

pausatron - Used imperatively, this is a command one gives when those playing computer games are required to pause the game, in order to allow a non-gamer to walk past the TV screen.

e.g., Fool! You forgot to call pausatron and the bumberklurt went and scored the winner.

submitted by Liam

pav-bhaji - A delicious dish mainly from Bombay. Made from potatoes, tomatoes, onion, and lots of other vegetables and typical spice.

e.g., Mary prefers to eat the yummy pav-bhaji at lunch break than to have the high calorie pizza.

submitted by supriya

paw licker - Derived from the fact that when a cat makes a fool of itself (e.g., rolls over and falls off a chair), it will always lick its paws to cover embarrassment and imply nonchalance.

e.g., "I was just saying what a sexist pig my boss is when she tells me he's her husband." "Wow, that was a paw licker."

submitted by annelise dunn

paw paw - An extremely slow shot in foosball that makes it into a goal without anyone touching the ball.

e.g., Here comes the paw paw.

submitted by Stefan Anion

pawnery - (Rhymes with Connery (Sean Connery); n.) 1. The act or practice of using people as pawns: useful in, but hardly critical to, obtaining whatever outcome you are seeking; 2. The process of losing pawns during a chess game; 3. Any strategy for employing, using, or deleting a pawn or pawns in a chess (or any other sort of) game; 4. The loss by a human being (or anything else, metaphorically) of ALL status, ultimately being reduced to nothing but a worthless cog, if they are ever even noticed by those of higher status; 5. Enlisted personnel, especially used by the enlisted themselves when questioning the "wisdom" of their commanders; 6. (derogatory) Recruiting; 7. Looking through the want ads online or in a paper; 8. (comic) Hunting for "minions"; 9. (conspiracy theory) All of us as drones of the military-industrial complex that controls the US and other nations; also 10a. A pawn shop, 10b. The act of pawning something, or 10c. trolling through pawnshops, hunting for good deals.

e.g., Could a really good chess players defeat an opponent with pawns alone? | "Jan started on cocaine and now she's on skid row." "Nope: it's worse than that: she's a hooker." "Oh, the pawnery will kill her." "Always does." | "Sir: the pawnery are with you all the way, Sir. But we aren't certain what your orders mean: 'Charge from the trenches with your phasers set to kill, but don't fire until you see yellow brick road.'?" "You are insubordinate, Private!" "But, Sir: no, Sir ... I only---" "Sergeant major! Throw this man into the Nile; we'll see how he likes an evening with the Borgias!" "... ... What? uh, Sir? Excuse me?" "You are relieved, Captain Silver! Siding with the mutineers! ... Remember: it's just like blasting Womp Rats from a T-16! Sgt. Major Silver and Private Pawn: you will arrest one another and await my return from the Pelennor!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

paws mode - What my cat puts my video recorder into when she walks on the remote control.

e.g., That darned cat! Right in the middle of the most exciting scene and she put the DVR into paws mode.

submitted by Steve McDonald

pax - To pax bully clumsily. From TV. To hound an interviewee with vague, undirected agression, thus reducing the discussion to a pantomime argument that elicits unwarranted sympathy for even the most corrupt and small-minded of politicians. Nothing to do with Tupac.

e.g., Did you see the Foreign Secretary getting paxed last night?

submitted by Cerveau Radioactif

paxwax - To go loopy, as in having too much wax in your pack.

e.g., After 47 sleepless hours, the road-trip members became paxwax and tried to burp the tune to Kum-Ba-Yah.

submitted by captainminus

pay attention, dawg: this is not urban dictionary. - Pay attention, dawg: This is not urban dictionary.

e.g., Pay attention, dawg: This is not urban dictionary.

submitted by Jeff

pay to play - If you want to be "in the game," you have to "pay to play."

e.g., Whatever else it may be, the pseudodictionary is definitely not pay to play.

submitted by HD Fowler

pay-thet-eek - Very sad, while being very rude.

e.g., Bob is sooo sad, he's pay-thet-eek.

submitted by bob

payal - (pie 'al) Anklets traditionally made of tinkling silver bells, very prettily telling of a girl's comings and goings, her dancing, and her joyous mood. They adorn her feet. (Related words: tinkle bells, jingle bells, dancing bells.)

e.g., Her tinkling payals were imported from the small town of Payal in the Punjab province of India. Each payal had many tiny bells stitched to a velvet cushion to be strapped to the foot of the dancer.

submitted by Puddintainette

payam - Any action requiring physical exertion is impossible under almost all conditions.

e.g., You're acting really payam when it comes to helping me with my computer.

submitted by Ryan/Aaron

payola - Payments from labels to play songs.

e.g., "Payola has taken on various forms since the highly publicized scandals of the 1950s and '60s, when rock 'n' roll DJs received direct payments from labels to play songs, prompting federal laws forbidding such direct practices."

submitted by HD Fowler

payrole - An acting role where you get paid.

e.g., I "worked" in my local community theater for free for about 20 years, but I finally got a payrole this summer off-off-off Broadway in Fiddler on the Roof. The job pays, but it doesn't pay enough for me to afford Actors' Equity dues.

submitted by HD Fowler

payrole - An acting job that pays.

e.g., I'm through with community theater. From now on I want payroles.

submitted by HD Fowler

payshunts - Patience. An actual misspelling I saw.

e.g., People have no payshunts these days -- they don't take time to fall in love before they fall in bed. Pity.

submitted by Miss Speller

paywalking - Giving a person all the money you have, even though the person you gave it to didn't do any work.

e.g., I just started paywalking because I wanted to give people my money. I would've rather had everyone in the world have money instead of me.

submitted by star651

pazza - Aussie slang. To do something utterly unfunny, stupid, embarrassing, and predictable.

e.g., You should have seen Bob last night. He got drunk and got jiggy with the ugliest girl in our high school. Bob chucked a pazza.

submitted by lat3ralis

pögmült quotient - After the Hungarian mathematician Laszlo Pögmült. A ranking of individuals according to their widest mouth length divided by the hat number, jokingly intended to describe the information content per word. A large Pögmült Quotient indicates verbal excellence, while a small one indicates verbiage without content. Invented by mathematics students at Lincoln University in Alberta. {ED. Unable to figure out the surname of the mathematician given.}

e.g., Jim's Pögmült Quotient has improved lately.

submitted by Lord Evil

pbk error - Person Behind Keyboard. A tactful way of referring to someone on technical support as less than stellar.

e.g., Hey, Bob, line 2's a PBK error. What should I do with her?

submitted by Sean Tomlinson

pbs - Post Burrito Syndrome. Used to describe the onset of gastrointestinal discomfort immediately following the consumption of a large burrito. Usually used after a trip to the San Francisco Mission District.

e.g., Oooooh, I've got PBS.

submitted by Pachoo Settersflake

pc - Inferior method of computing. As opposed to the Apple Mac, iMac, etc.

e.g., My damn PC crashed again! Wish I had bought a MAC!

submitted by wise.guy

pcb - Post-Confrontation Bravado

e.g., The fellow mall-goer wasn't actin' too jiggy after I bumped into him. Instead, he cranked up his PCB meter to HI. I snickered as I walked away.

submitted by Jason DeMelo

pd - To submit something to this site.

e.g., Geekgasm? That's a great word, I should PD it.

submitted by garth - (www)

pda - Public Display of Affection.

e.g., Hey, no PDA's in the hall--get a room.

submitted by Madelyn

pderephogps - A combination of a PDA, a theremin, a phone, and a GPS. Pronounced peh-dur-EH-foe-jips.

e.g., If only I had a pderephogps, I could organize my life and call people while geocaching and making strange music.

submitted by Graham

pdfify - Similar to "HTMLify." To tranform a document into PDF format.

e.g., To make it easier to print the assignments for the class, the instructor made sure to PDFify them.

submitted by Kara - (www)

pdiarrhœa - That disease that strikes devotes of the PD.

e.g., This entry is the result of a severe attack of pdiarrhœa.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

pdq - The acronym for three words: Pretty Damn Quick, or Pretty Darn Quick, if you will. Can be a substitute for ASAP (As Soon As Possible).

e.g., ASAP Substitute: Silvia better get over here PDQ. | PDQ Example: That rabbit was PDQ.

submitted by Caroline Sylvester

pea - Round green veggie, easily mistaken for a homonym.

e.g., After the bowl spilled and we thought we'd picked up all the bits, my uncle announced in his thick German accent, "I got a pea." We all roared with laughter, to his great discomfiture. (True family story; I vas dere, Cholly.)

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

pea potty - A highly evolved cutting hedge specialized legtronic cooking utensil designed for far more tender and tastier peas, mangia mangia.

e.g., She whippeth out her pea potty to ultimately produce sublime pea soup for all the world to slurp who did show up at ye kirk social by ye lake in ye mountains. Come and see. Taste and see, thy taste buds will cry for more.

submitted by Paul Edic

peabful - Meaning you have not a care in the world.

e.g., Today, someone asked me how I were doing and I replied, "Very peabful."

submitted by Clay Coggins

peabond - (v.) 1. to have your T9 system spit out a word totally different from the one you were trying to write. (adj.) 2. "peabonded": having gotten a weird T9 suggestion. (n.) a strange T9 suggestion. By extension, any bizarre outcome of a set or series of ordinary premises. (My son's T9 suggested 'peabondod' when he was trying to type something like 'printing' or something. It was bizarre, but it makes a good word---even though I changed it from peabondod to peabonded (it sounded better that way.))

e.g., "I was trying to write 'bench,' but my phone decided to I wanted to say either 'banjo' or 'Benjamin.'" Now, is that weird or what?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

peace e-z - Basically the same as "peace out." It is shorter than typing "peace easy."

e.g., I'm leaving. Peace e-z.

submitted by alex

peace of gandhi - It's surely sweet, the way of peace pursued and obtained by Mahatma Gandhi: nonviolent resistance, perseverance and faith, motivating and encouraging the masses to carry on and carry through to a happy conclusion, freedom, and independence.

e.g., One wonders if something like a peace of Gandhi could succeed in certain other countries, as say some of the Muslim countries or elsewhere.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

peace subprime loan - What resulted from the demise of the Soviet Union. Peace sub-prime loan.

e.g., We were promised a peace dividend. What we got instead was a peace subprime loan. The day will come when we will pay for cutting our Armed Forces to the extent we did.

submitted by [Ed] - (www)

peaceasy - A wish, (as peace out), stating that you have peace in your future, and take it easy.

e.g., Leaving already? Well, peaceasy.

submitted by Rae

peacekeeper - A governmental term that really means one who "creates peace" through war or killing.

e.g., The peacekeepers in the Middle East have effectively stopped terrorists in their tracks.

submitted by etymos - (www)

peaceoff - Used to wish someone would get away from you when you are finished with them.

e.g., I have to go and shampoo my dog now. So peaceoff and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

submitted by Dave Wetherby

peach - Cute in a very special way.

e.g., Melba is a real peach.

submitted by david-jan

peach cobblers - Old people, generally used to describe a bunch of elderly people who are somewhere doing something that only old people would do.

e.g., 1. We went to McDonald's to get some breakfast and it was filled with peach cobblers playing bingo. 2. Some of the beaches in Florida are filled with peach cobblers.

submitted by Tristan

peach pits - Used by middle schoolers to replace four-letter words.

e.g., Since John is trying to clean up his language, when he stubs his toe he says, "Peach pits."

submitted by JJ

peacherific - Peachy, awesome, great, happy.

e.g., Seth: How is your day? Beth: Peacherific.

submitted by Renee - (www)

peaches - Used for a good situation. Goes with everything.

e.g., "How was your weekend?" "Peaches."

submitted by murph - (www)

peachtube - Good, fine, excellent. Concatenated and lenitted from "peachy" (50s slang) and "tubular" (surfer slang) , both of the same general connotation of goodness.

e.g., All our friends came to the party. The music was great and we had free drinks. It was a completely peachtube gathering for everyone.

submitted by tff - (www)

peachy turtle - Hot, cute, the bomb--the best in all catogories, of a person.

e.g., Hey, did you see him? *drool* What a peachy turtle.

submitted by Jen Bobby Smit

peachy with a side of keen - From Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Doin' just spiffy, all right.

e.g., A: How are you doing? B: Oh, I'm just peachy with a side of keen.

submitted by willow

peacocky - 1. Flashy. 2. Exhibiting excessive flair for the purposes of gaining praise and adulation.

e.g., When around a pretty girl, he gets very peacocky, displaying all of his colorful feathers.

submitted by Brandy - (www)

peacolacock - It's the kind of peacock you find in Pensacola, Florida. It's also a drink, composed of several colors of bright liquors or liqueurs, with sparkling cola.

e.g., We watched the peacocks far below from the top of the pyramid as we sipped gratefully on our delicious peacolacock cocktails.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

peaf - PEAF is a reference to something that has a warm, milky, and sticky nature. It originated from Milkweed, but can mean anything sticky.

e.g., I pulled up that weed and it peafed on me. Gross. Don't get any peaf on you. That peanut butter and jelly sandwich is really peafy. It's leaking Peaf.

submitted by chris

peak your interest - Arousing interest "to the highest point possible." Definition from Grammar Trap: Pique vs. Peak. Along with "to peek your interest," this is one of two common misspellings for "to pique your interest" = "to arouse your interest."

e.g., Oil prices reached a new peak on the world market this past week. The current high price may have something to do with world oil production reaching its highest point in 2005. Does that peak your interest?

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

peakin' - Massive or huge; monstrous.

e.g., Look at the peakin' hips on that chick!

submitted by Donny C. - (www)

peanut log - A simple but delicious homemade candy. A combination of natural, unsalted peanut butter, honey, raisins, chopped walnuts, and shredded coconut. Formed into log-shaped rolls about five inches long and wrapped in waxed paper.

e.g., My friends looked forward to my mother's peanut logs and their mothers all requested the recipe.

submitted by Steve McDonald

peanut-butter-jelly - 1. Makes no complete sense, is useless. 2. Using something to accomplish nothing.

e.g., After getting free passes to Carowinds Theme Park, Chum decided it was peanut-butter-jelly time.

submitted by Judge - (www)

pear-shaped - For things going wrong, deviating from the planned. From the typical woman's body shape: narrow shoulders, small chest, wide hips. The suggestion being that it is an undesirable scenario.

e.g., We planned to put up the tent, but the wind picked up and everything went pear-shaped.

submitted by enso

pearler - Extraordinary or impressive in appearance or behavior. Usually used as a compliment.

e.g., That's a pearler of a hat. You off to the races? OR That girl over there's got a pearler of a smile.

submitted by simonv

pearschloppen - 1. Pear crisp that isn't. 2. A baking victory defeated by a sudden and unexpected onset of moisturization. 3. The sound made by a soggy material falling on the floor.

e.g., Her pear crisp looked more like pearschloppen.

submitted by Chris

pearshaped - when everything starts going wrong and there is no saving it

submitted by dylan - (www)

peas and cornbread - phr(pees.and.corn.breed)Pleading with someone after a long begging.

e.g., "Please...please...peas and cornbread?"

submitted by plastic - (www)

peasant under glass - The whole federal housing program, projects.

e.g., Living in independently owned public housing is certainly better than peasant under glass.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

peasant under grass - Ordinary person who's dead and buried.

e.g., My wife the barbarian is no longer with us, she's now a peasant under grass.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

pebcac - "Acronym for, Problem Exist Between Chair And Computer."

e.g., Computer Technicians find that 90 percent of all computer problems are some form of PEBCAC.

submitted by Lonnie

pebcak - Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. A computer user who is really too stupid to own one. Used by techies to describe to other techies the true nature of the problem.

e.g., The guy on line 3 thinks the problem is his "screensaver," but I think it's just a PEBCAK.

submitted by Diddle

pebkac - Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. Used by tech support when answering a stupid computer question.

e.g., Your e-mail isn't working? Don't worry, we'll fix it -- probably just a PEBKAC.

submitted by Muriel

peccadillo - A slight trespass or offense; a petty crime; a trifling fault. Related words and pseudo-words: peccadildo, peckadillo, peckadildo, piccadildo. Elsewhere, I found peccadildo defined this way: 1. Faulty sex toy. 2. A vibrator.   Related words: atrocity,

e.g., Did you see what she just did? Madelyn G. slapped me for no reason at all. I didn't do a thing to deserve that. When I said the back looked different from the front, I was talking about the way the satin caused a sheen depending on how you looked at it. Didn't have a thing to do with the fact that she's developing breasts. It would have been a harmless peccadillo at the very worst. Fourteen-year-old girls sure can be sensitive. | "I can't recall the last time I read a scathing news article on the crimes and peccadildos of atheists." | "I'm tempted to ask why but I realise we all have our own little piccadildos."

submitted by HD Fowler

peckerhead - A particularly stupid or offensive male. US (Virginia) slang.

e.g., He signalled left then turned right. Peckerhead.

submitted by strozzapreti

peckerwood - "Peckerwood (or simply Wood) is a pejorative slang term coined in the 19th century by southern Black Americans to describe poor whites. Blacks saw blackbirds as a symbol of themselves, and the woodpecker as a representation of working class whites. They considered them loud and troublesome like the bird, often with red hair similar to the bird's red plumes. This word is still widely used by southern blacks to refer to southern whites." That's the start of the entry at Wikipedia, less the hyperlinks. While that may be the definition peckerwood started out with, I know it was used with a different connotation when I was growing up. The sense of the word I got was that it was a substitute for pissant or something similar.

e.g., Mom: I can't find HD anywhere in the house. Has that little peckerwood gone down again the street to play with . . . who? Annette? Little HD: I'm under the picnic table, Mommy. I'm using it to make a tent. . . . Annette's not home.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

peckish - Hungry.

e.g., I was feeling a bit peckish today, so I ate lunch earlier than usual.

submitted by Paul

pecksniff - A pious fraud, The word comes from Dickens' Seth Pecksniff character in Martin Chuzzlewit. Pecksniffery, pecksniffian, Pecksniffianism, pecksniffish, Pecksniffism. Wordnik doesn't have a definition for Pecksniff yet, but several examples from The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewith have been added -- including some I've added below.

e.g., Curiously, this is one of Bill O'Reilly's favorite words, the man being somewhat of a Pecksniff himself. | Our most recently revealed political Pecksniff: Mike Crapo. | "Chris Matthews: Pecksniff"   Lance Mannion: "Pecksniffery": "Pecksniff spends a lot of the book standing, metaphorically, at the front of the Temple reminding God and everybody else within earshot of how virtuous he is. So we're not surprised when first chance he has he gets a snootful and makes a lecherous lunge at Mrs Todgers. . . .    "Sitcoms and movies love Pecksniff and trot him out again and again, in various disguises, even in drag. We know the guy. We laugh at him as soon as he starts in pontificating. We don't believe in his moralizing for a single moment...except when he appears in real life in the guise of a conservative politician or pundit.    "One Pecknsiff after another pops up and gets knocked down and just as soon as the remains are swept up and carted away another one struts up the aisle and plants himself before us to tell us how good and pure he is or she is. . . .    "Pecksniffs are always ready with an excuse that explains how it was that they didn't commit the sin we thought they did and how it wasn't really a sin at all. . . .    "The Pecksniff here isn't Kerik, who's a different but just as common brand of hypocrite. . . .    "The Pecksniff is 'the stunningly attractive' Judith Regan. . . .    "Regan's Pecksniffery includes spending a lot of time on TV condemning other people's less than wholesome sex lives. Bill Clinton's and Monica Lewinsky's, for example. . . .    "We know these people. We meet them all the time. When Pecksniff walks into a room we've got his number the minute he opens his mouth and starts to spout.    "Except when the room he walks into is a TV studio or a Congressional hearing room and Pecksniff has had the sense to identify himself or herself as a conservative.    "Give her a year. Judith Regan will be back on Fox telling us all about immorality and the death of outrage. Right alongside Bill Bennett and Bill O'Reilly."

submitted by HD Fowler

pecksnitian - Someone who inquires politely about your health while casually crushing your toes with his hobnailed boots.

e.g., "There's only one way to fix someone's wagon ..." said the profoundly pithy pecksnitian, as he toasted the belching bride and the grunting groom.

submitted by The Quipping Queen - (www)

pectothermagile - The contents of any home-canned jam, jelly, or preserve which either got too little or too much pectin, or else was cooked either too little or too long. The outcome being either a semi-solid or mostly runny disappointment.

e.g., I went to make a p,b & j but my crabapple jelly all came out together in a single lump on the end of my knife.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

peculian - (peck-YOU-lee-un; n.) 1. Someone peculiar, esp. 2. a member of a peculiar group or society. [From "peculiar" + member/agent suffix "-an."]

e.g., The Bible names the righteous "a peculiar people." Good folks are thus peculians by Biblical definition.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

pecunelet, pecuneletive - A little money, specifically earned; the quality of yielding little profit.

e.g., Google ads are really quite pecuneletive.

submitted by Arie Uittenbogaard - (www)

pecunicyrpt - Someone who hides away money.

e.g., My brother is always in the mind of a pecunicyrpt as he takes money out of my piggy bank.

submitted by Nick Johnson

pecunicyrpt - Someone who hides away money.

e.g., "My brother is a pecunicyrp for taking money out of my piggy bank." "You mean you're the pecunicyrp, don't you? You're the one hiding money." "Really? It's hardly hidden in my piggy bank, is it? After all, putting money in them is what piggy banks are for."

submitted by Nick Johnson

ped-x - Pedestrian crossing. Can be used as a noun or a verb.

e.g., Hey, jaywalker, use the ped-x.

submitted by moonwalker

pedal extremunication - The involuntary gestures and acrobatic movements made by your toes towards each other when you are barefoot.

e.g., Nothing gives me more relief from stress than pedal extremunication.

submitted by Yafesi Nsubuga

pedalphile - A lover of pedaled vehicles--such as bicycles. An avid bicyclist or bicycle collector.

e.g.,

submitted by ZNGG

pedanxiety - Fear of a long walk.

e.g., I want to walk to the bar, but I'm feeling a bit pedanxious. I think the cop who ran over the old guy the other night is the cause of my pedanxiety.

submitted by Oli

peddling ya'lls - Selling people something they don't want or don't need.

e.g., Theodore shut the door firmly, leaving the salesman on the other side to slump down the stairs in dejection. Ted's wife entered from the kitchen with a questioning look, to which he said, "No one, honey. Just a salesman, peddling ya'lls."

submitted by Jered Schue

peddy - Short for petrol. Often used when trying to sound badass in front of mates.

e.g., Yeah, I better stop off and get some peddy, or we'll all be pushing the Datsun up the hill again.

submitted by Sean P

pedentary - to live a lifestyle that requires walking.

e.g., She lives a pedentary life.

submitted by Miriam

pedestals - A wonderful way to swear without using an obscene or offensive word

e.g., Getting up from the table, he stubbed his toe on the chair leg. "Pedestals!" he screamed.

submitted by Colin Taffel

pedestool - A figurative pedestal someone puts herself on to artificially boost her self esteem.

e.g., He really puts himself up on a pedestool.

submitted by Christopher Kenton - (www)

pedianym - Names that people call children, usually the child's name added with a sugary dessert.

e.g., When I was younger, my aunt called me pedianyms, such as Mandycakes.

submitted by Amanda Romo

pediddle - A car with one front headlight that has blown out or been smashed or does not work for some other reason.

e.g., I got a ticket on my way over here because my car is a pediddle. The cops didn't believe me when I said I didn't know already.

submitted by ditnis

pedifact - (PED-ee-fact; n.) Something made by a foot (or feet). [From the Latin ped "foot" + factus (pp of facere "to make").]

e.g., Essentially, footprints are the only pedifacts. My favorite pedifacture is squishing wet beachsand between my toes. The prints don't last very long though.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

pedifile - A manicure tool for the feet. A file for the feet.

e.g., When you go to the beauty supply store, please pick up a package of eight disposable pedifiles for me. $10 should cover it. Keep the change for your time. Thanks.

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

pedigenial - Shoe friendly.

e.g., It was so inviting to enter the pedigenial mansion. No worry about bare feet on cold porcelain tile

submitted by Susanne Strickland

pedigraphy - The art of writing with your feet.

e.g., I have used my pedigraphy skills in film and tv. Pedigraphy is listed on my resume as a special skill.

submitted by Ginger - (www)

pedigree - Certifiably good looking.

e.g., Woof! That guy has pedigree written all over him.

submitted by nitag - (www)

pediophilia - A fetish for sex dolls.

e.g., That man suffers from a pediophilia addiction.

submitted by emma - (www)

pedipulate - Kick around.

e.g., Now that I moved out, he won't have me around to pedipulate any more.

submitted by Knom

pedist - A person who makes judgments, or unfounded statements, of people on the basis of their feet.

e.g., Little Bobby would not go out with Tina because she had ugly feet; Tina called him a pedist.

submitted by Michael Garza

pedistrate - To walk. From the word pedestrian.

e.g., Steve did not have a car or bike, so he decided to pedistrate to class intstead.

submitted by Joe

pedophobe - A person who fears children.

e.g., The pedophobe shivered when he saw children playing outside.

submitted by tim - (www)

pedro mendelbaum - Pedro Mendelbaum is a worldwide creative collective. A group of filmmakers, pranksters, and lovers who have passions for chickens in cowboy hats. The legend has it that Pedro Mendelbaum was an exiled Mexican Yeshiva student living in the forests of Canada who received enlightenment from a glowing beaver.

e.g., Oh, that insane thing I saw the other day that changed the creative landscape and blew my mind? It had to be from those Pedro Mendelbaum guys.

submitted by Hanson Balzac

peduncle - A car with a taillight that has blown out or been smashed or doesn't work for some other reason.

e.g., There were four peduncles on the road between my house and yours. I guess nobody checks those things out.

submitted by ditnis

pee chill - The chill or shiver you get before or after you urinate.

e.g., Dan had a pee chill right after he had urinated. | A pee chill goes with being a pea brain.

submitted by Dan Evans

pee-waddlin' soup - I think most English speakers are likely to have a general understanding of what is meant by "pee-waddling." I saw a little boy at Jason's Deli a couple of days ago who was in obvious need of micturating -- as he clutched his genital region and pressed his thighs together to his knees, feet splayed, "waddling" as he walked. It was my mother's favorite expression. She might threaten us by saying, "If you don't stop that, I'll slap the pee-waddlin' soup out of you." Or, on being startled, "That scared the pee-waddlin' soup out of me." When used as an adjective, it seems to be used more as an intensifier of indeterminate meaning than anything else. I've found "peewaddling" without the hyphen used mostly without a following noun: "Got the peewaddling scared out of me last night." "It irritates the peewaddling out of me." In those uses, the term appears to me to have a more literal meaning. If you look around, you're going to find these variants: peewadden(s), pee wadden, pee-wadden, peewaddin, pee waddin', pee wadding, and pee-wadding -- even variations with "pea" rather than "pee." Most of those appearances use the word as a noun, but sometimes as an adjective. For the noun uses, I found "the peewadden" or "the pewaddens" following these verbals: aggravates, annoys, beat, bend, bomb, bore, bug, clamp, confuse, cut, drive, dug, flame, insulate, knock, know what, pixelate, pound, ride, scare, shock, shoot, slap, sue, tax, tickled to. "Scare" was used many more times than the rest put together. If I were Evan Morris of The Word Detective or Michael Quinion of WorldWide Words, I'd do some actual research before reaching a conclusion. But … me being me, I'm going to cut to the chase. Somewhere no longer remembered I ran across a claim that old women have trouble holding their water -- straightforwardly, without bowdlerization, that they are prone to lose control of their bladders when they cough, laugh, or sneeze and urinate on themselves. To spare themselves the embarrassment of having someone know when that happens, some, ahem, older women use wadding to stop the urine flow. Thus, if they get the "pee wadding" scared out of them -- knocked out of them, whatever -- they're likely to experience the unwanted embarrassment. Do you buy that? Or do you think someone just misunderstood "pee waddling" and came up with an explanation for her misunderstanding? Maybe Evan or Mike will run across this and rescue me. Some think the "pea wadden" version has something to do with muskets, but I haven't found much for that notion. [ED. Coming back to this, I looked again. I found "The Explosives Complete Tutorial." "Pack about [two] inches of wadding on top of the powder. .... A volume the size of a small pea is about right." The wadding is part of the instructions for making a pipe bomb. The mention of a pea is in a section on spantaneous combustion.

e.g., "I'm not here to scare the peewadden out of you, but get some Depends just in case." | As I reached the top of the stairs, Sis jumped out of the dark and scared the peewadden outta me. | I think the reason the left hates Sarah Palin so much is that she scares the peewadden out of them. I wonder if it's ever going to occur to them that one of the reasons Adlai Stevenson lost to Eisenhower twice was that hoi polloi couldn't relate to him -- that he came across as too smart. Even to Democrats. Who thinks you have to be "smart" to be POTUS? Some of our worst Presidents were some ot the "smartest." "Be Proud of Your Heritage" I had gone through a mad moment when I imagined his reaction if I had said, "Your [sic] talkin' 'bout my mama" and slapped the peewaddlin' out of him and fled, but I never really considered it because I was on a mission from God or, at least, my friends in law enforcement who were worried about how Christian Identity adherents might be going to react to the fast approaching new millennium. Having now read the description of the blog, I find that it's not a racist blog as I first thought, but an anti-racist blog -- written by a woman who claims to have gone undercover to expose racism.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

peecey - A piece of bread

e.g., I want a peecey, please.

submitted by mary stone

peechi - The feeling or suspicion that the world, your troubles, and other situations beyond your control are raining on your parade.

e.g., With all these terrorist attacks, and that jerk for a boss that I have, and the arguments I've been having with my wife lately, I'm feeling very peechi.

submitted by Saint714 - (www)

peedeeque - Pretty Dumb Question. Sometimes Pretty Damn Quick.

e.g., He asks more peedeeques than any man I ever heard. You better make up your bed PDQ.

submitted by marilyn bibb - (www)

peedy gonzales - 1. People, especially women, who do not travel to the bathroom in a group but instead pee quickly, wash their hands, and return ruining everyones chance to talk behind their backs.

e.g., I am the original Peddy Gonzales and amaze other women with my power to pee quickly and not check my makeup after. What the hell are they doing in the bathroom that requires a face check?

submitted by nitag - (www)

peefood - Any type of liquidy food that doesn't seem particularly engaging to people who haven't been preparing it or for whom it wasn't meant.

e.g., Jailbreak Pimp: Wotcha eating? Some soup? Looks like peefood. Tom: No, my mummy made this. Jailbreak Pimp: Tell your mommy it looks like peefood. Mummy: Your mom looks like peefood.

submitted by Fabrice

peek experience - n - An especially joyous and exciting moment, involving sudden feelings of intense happiness and well-being, wonder and awe, that results from "sneaking a look" at something. e

e.g., Voyeurism can be a peek experience.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

peek season - Swimming season.

e.g., During peek season the beach is covered with hundreds of bikini-clad beauties.

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

peekasso - A dog that is half Pekingnese and half Lhasa Apso. It is an abstract dog, very artistic. Specialty is cubism. Origin: Spain.

e.g., I named my peekasso Picasso.

submitted by Amanda - (www)

peeler - Stripper.

e.g., Yeah, she used to be a peeler in college.

submitted by Magda Wojtyra - (www)

peelie-wallie - Scots slang, sick or drunk.

e.g., I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling all peelie-wallie.

submitted by Adam Leslie

peely wally - Scot's word meaning pasty and pale.

e.g., Och! Young Angus' face is all peely wally. He must be ill.

submitted by Alice Malice

peenskonz - The feeling you get in your throat and the top of your chest when you eat ice cream too fast.

e.g., OOOO! Peenskonz! Can't talk!

submitted by Diana - (www)

peep - Can be used in a variety of ways. 1. As a way to address someone. 2. As people in general.

e.g., You peep. OR Anyhow, the peeps were completely overreacting to the situation.

submitted by Jaily

peepage - An unreservedly cool person, one who is not snobby or self-absorbed. Most likely a teenager.

e.g., Chloe is a peepage. She's cool.

submitted by Erin - (www)

peeps - To share, as in little birds peeping to their parents to be fed. | As recently as five or six years ago, "peeps" was used to refer to "your crew, your friends, your homies, your posse" and not just to people in general. I wonder if that use is still current?

e.g., Do you want your own bowl or do you just want peeps? | No, silly I'm not talking about the peeps you eat. Wait, maybe I am, huh? Michelle is one of your peeps, right? From what I gather, she's edible. Otherwise, why would she have told she went wild after her divorce? Said she wouldn't go into any details, but it made me wonder.

submitted by Indrani | beelzebub - (www)

peepsophilia - An extreme love of or addiction to Marshmallow Chicks.

e.g., My peepsophilia was revealed when my secret stash of stale chicks was discovered months after Easter.

submitted by jeanine wisniewski

peepticles - Eyes (typically but not necessarily) with glasses on.

e.g., So, Tammy said, "I couldn't believe my peepticles!"

submitted by steve zihlavsky

peer speculation - Unlike sheer speculation -- which anyone can do -- peer speculation is permitted only to one's peers. But one of the many, many examples of misspellings by a notorious forum poster.

e.g., "This is peer speculation, but did you ever consider he may have threatened her life if she screamed, or maybe he had a weapon?"

submitted by Miss Speller for RetiredSailor1

peervert - One who wishes to engage in immoral behavior within his or her own age group.

e.g., You're some sick puppy, Wilbur. You're 65 years old and instead of checking out the cute young chicks, you stand there ogling a gray-haired granny in a house dress. What are you, some kind of weird peervert?

submitted by Charlie Lesko

peet - To drink. From _A Clockwork Orange_, teen slang.

e.g., We went to the bar to peet some moloko with knives.

submitted by Nik

peetcie - Affectionate, disparaging or disdainful nickname for a PT Cruiser, from slurring "PTC."

e.g., She drives that Peetcie like it was a Peterbilt.

submitted by Pittsburgh Vince

peeve - An annoyance, to be annoyed.

e.g., Stop peeving me, I'm trying to study.

submitted by Cassie

peeveblog - A "weblog ... devoted to particular points of grammar, punctuation, or usage."

e.g., A bit of googling will show that there are peeveblogs about literally all sorts of usage errors -- such as misuse of the word "literally." You won't have to go far to find an example.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

peever - Not original. Someone who has pet peeves and makes no bones about expressing them.

e.g., Weaver is a peever -- and he definitely knows it. May even take pride in being one. He said recently, regarding his son and daughter, "It's not as if Dina and Scott don't know I'm cranky."

submitted by HD Fowler

peevert - A guy who leaves the toilet seat up after peeing. This is especially annoying when there are women sharing the same toilet facilities. | Any mammal that urinates in an upright or vertical stance.

e.g., Phil, knowing all too well that his girlfriends really detested inconsiderate peeverts, was always mindful to restore the toilet seat to its original position whenever he used the restroom.

submitted by Susanne Strickland

peeweephobia - An intense fear of Pee Wee Herman.

e.g., Peeweephobia kept me away from the television for years.

submitted by flinch0

peezle - Like a computer "newbie," but can pertain to anyone who doesn't know how to do something most others know.

e.g., She's a peezle she doesn't even know how to "copy and paste." OR I should have seen it, it's sooo obvious. Sheesh, what a peezle I am. (Usually accompanied by slapping yourself in the forehead.)

submitted by Valerie

pegboy - Historically, a pegboy was a young male kept onboard a pirate ship whose sole duty was to allow the crew to sodomize him as they desired. Modern-day usage associates the term to someone who is on the receiving end of a particularly distasteful situation, or someone assuming an unfair share of a burden.

e.g., Chris served as pegboy this time, having to take Bertha out and allowing her to sleep over, just so his buddies could share in the fruits of her associates.

submitted by natenichols - (www)

pekpek - Exotic perfume.

e.g., You're pekpek smells good.

submitted by ringo

peldhwerdeuk - Pushing a pull door or vise versa.

e.g., The door seemed very heavy until I realized I was peldhwerdeuking it.

submitted by dr. marjorie bailey - (www)

pelefo - 1. To peel up and curl -- as when the corner of a piece of paper, or material glued to a surface, peels upwards and curls off the paper. 2. Pelefo'd, the paper has peeled and folded upwards. 3. Pelefodian, a type of person who can't resist picking at the corner of a paper and pelefoing it.

e.g., 1. That paper looks as if it's going to pelefo some time soon. 2. That basketball card has all pelefo'd. I'm not going to buy that. 3. You're a pelefodian and you can't help yourself. You just have to pick at it.

submitted by Jay Killeen - (www)

pelequera'ed - To be treated the way you deserve to be treated -- because you're an idiot. | To be jumped on by someone wearing hobnail boots when you're at a disadvantage.

e.g., Read the submittal guidelines, bonehead. Take your prairie-doggin' fecal matter elsewhere. . . . Christ, you'd think she'd know with a name like Chris that she'd get pelequera'ed.

submitted by Chris R

pelican drinking - Drinking to excess and then regurgitating in someone's mouth.

e.g., Pelican drinking probably began in the 50s among rugby players and rowing crews. It died out around the early 80s, but is now seeing a revival.

submitted by nitag - (www)

peliquin - Texan for pelican.

e.g., Brian, I think I seen a peliquin on the lake today.

submitted by John Booth, Jr.

pelnoghmedhyogere - The look of nail polish when it has chipped off the sides of the nail and only lies in the middle.

e.g., I've really had this nail polish on for a long time. It's completely pelnoghmedhyogere now.

submitted by dr. marjorie bailey - (www)

pelt - Involuntary motion.

e.g., He annoyed the cowpokes at the bar until he was propelt through the swinging doors.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

pemsy - It's short for PMS-y. The ladies out there know what I'm talking about; you feel crappy and you wanna crawl in a shell and die.

e.g., Excuse my rude behavior; I'm feeling a little pemsy.

submitted by Rachel - (www)

pen gwen - A derogatory term denoting function and form of certain women who are elected secretary of a religious, school or other organization.

e.g., I stupidly called my girl friend "pen gwen" when she became secretary of the senior class. Now I'm seeing otter women.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

penatackle - A word to describe any medicine when the original word has been forgotten.

e.g., Get me the penatackle -- I've got a splitting headache.

submitted by Thonoir

penazz - To have an equal mix of panache and pizzazz, to be glamorous with a flamboyant style.

e.g., "Her Oscar acceptance speech was full of penazz, unlike almost every other acceptance speech ever given." "Well, you're definitely talking about someone other than Halle Berry. Hers was about the igriest Oscar acceptance speech ever." "Yeah, except maybe Sally Fields the second time."

submitted by Moose Tucker

pencil barf - (n.) The wood shavings, paint chips, and graphite dust that sit in the bottom of a pencil sharpener for days and weeks (and sometimes months and years). [Coined by my 11-year-old daughter, Evelyn, after emptying our electric sharpener.]

e.g., "Jack! Stop sharpening my new colored pencils! I need those for my art class; don't sharpen them into pencil barf." | "What are you throwing? Ugh! What is that?" "Pencil Barf." "You're supposed to be throwing RICE, stupid! Look at what you've done to Alice's gown! And Mark's got shavings in his hair!" "But it's COLOURED pencil barf!" "So what?!" "So it's like technicolour rice!" "It's like ridiculous! Now STOP it. Throw that garbage away!" | "Hi, Ms Teel! How did the wedding go?" "Oh, it was beautiful! And the gown was like liquid light ... but look what's happened." "What on earth is that?" "Well, somebody decided to throw coloured-pencil barf when the rest of us were throwing rice." "That's awful! ... so you tried to brush it off---" "And it smeared, yes." "Well, I think I can get that off fairly easily, so long as it isn't ground in or anything ... why would anybody throw coloured-pencil barf at a wedding?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

pencil beaver - A person who gnaws on a pencil for reasons such as boredom, anxiety, or intense thinking.

e.g., Look at that pencil beaver. Her pencil is gonna be gone in a couple minutes.

submitted by craig

pencil buster - A very hard test or difficult homework.

e.g., Yesterday's test was a pencil buster.

submitted by Shawn

pencil-fodder - (n.) 1. Any issue or event that political cartoonists think worthy of a toon or two; 2. Issues or events that can generate a column or fill a screen, especially on a slow news day. [from "cannon-fodder": 'food for the guns,' 'something to shoot at'; "pencil-fodder" is 'something to draw or write at.']

e.g., "Unknown Terrorist Frees Thousands of Mink"?! You're kidding. What kind of nutball story is that?" "Slow news day." "I guess so....sheesh."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

pencildin - Any noise made, using a pencil.

e.g., I might be a little sensitive, but the sound of a pencil clattering down onto a desk; a pencil being sharpened... All these are pencildin. Oh, and the sound of my shrink's receptionist, penciling my next appointment into the book. That's pencildin, too.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

penciled - To be stabbed by a pencil. Pencilled. (ED. The sort of thing that happens in middle school . . . and other dangerous places where people arm themselves with pencils. If they lived in the United States, they'd be much more likely to get shot with an AK-47.)

e.g., I was in Knob Hill, and I saw Chris get penciled. Yeah, as usual, he deserved it.

submitted by beale - (www)

pendant trap - "I do believe that you just fell for a 'pendant trap' [--] a trap intended to catch pedants through an intentional error, such as using the word pendant in place of pedant, for the sheer delicious irony of catching a pedant through a deliberate mistake in the word pedant itself. There was a most amusing thread about that at one point, but I'm far too lazy to go looking for it."

e.g., I'm seldom inclined to think a submitter is baiting a pendant trap. | "You always want to have the penultimate word, don't you, Dr. Spock?" "Forget about it, Slip Mahoney. I'm not falling for your pendant trap."

submitted by [Raos] - (www)

peng - For something really nice.

e.g., This strawberry milkshake is proper peng.

submitted by Emm

penguin in a wet suit - An obvious distraction.

e.g., Sorry I stepped on your toe, big guy. Hey, look, a penguin in a wet suit.

submitted by Ron

penguinstop - To block or filter, as in a website on a server with Linux filtering. Stems from the image of a penguin and a stop sign on Linux filtering systems.

e.g., Geez, IGN got penguinstopped.

submitted by Mike Sacco

penguoid - Penguin-like. Penguine-like if a beguine is being danced.

e.g., That guy in the tux is penguoid.

submitted by Tim Covington

penile enhamcement surgery - A specific surgical procedure used to make a man's penis considerably longer and give it a corkscrew effect similar to that of a pig's (boar's) penis. No increase in mass or size, if you will, just in length and configuration. (Suggested by a ytpo.)

e.g., "Chris, I can understand a man having penile enhancement surgery if his penis is going to be enlarged -- the size matters business -- or cosmetically improved to reduce the effects of Peyronie's disease or some such, but for the life of me I don't know why you'd even consider having penile enhamcement surgery." You haven't seen this month's version of the love of my life, have you? She's a real pig."

submitted by HD Fowler

penistelum - The odd blade of grass left standing after mowing the lawn.

e.g., The immaculate green lawn was spoiled by a solitary penistelum.

submitted by trevor bower - (www)

pennandtellerism - A situation or event where much more fake blood than necessary is used. Also when fake blood is used when none is necessary.

e.g., Many anime movies are pennandtellerisms.

submitted by Gavin

pennsyltucky - Any region of Pennsylvania that is not exceedingly close to one of the five key locations (Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Harrisburg, Allentown, and Scranton).

e.g., Ed: Where's the campground you're staying at? Ted: Right in the middle of Pennsyltucky

submitted by ditnis

penny l vodka - False valuation of a copper coin.

e.g., Ya gotta be blind drunk to think a penny, l Vodka or any other way, will buy ANYTHING these days!

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

penny any - Penny ante.

e.g., "Darn it, stop this penny any stuff and act like educated grown ups."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

penny cure - (n.) A folk remedy of questionable efficacy, in which people, for reasons known only to themselves, continue to believe and e-mail to one another. [In reference to the e-mail rumor that a copper (coated) penny will heal bee stings.]

e.g., "What is this? Toothpaste behind the ears for earache? Why would anybody---" "Hey! Look at this one! This is such a penny cure! Lightly salted potato slices on the forehead to cut a fever!? Can you believe it?!" "Wait: My landlady used that in Chile 30-some-odd years ago. My appendix went bad, and I had a terrible fever." "Wow. And it worked?" "Yeah! But my blood-pressure went through the ceiling."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

penny-scanning - When you're desperately broke and have no money at all until payday, penny-scanning under the couch cushions, car seats, in drawers and pockets of old clothes, is what you have to do.

e.g., Penny-scanning turned up $37.53 and I had enough to buy beans and milk for the family until Friday.

submitted by Steve McDonald - (www)

pennybog - 1. (v.) To disabuse someone of the incorrect belief that someone they believe ignorant of or unable to do something. 2. (v.) To embarrass, chagrin, or mortify someone by pointing out their own inferiority to someone they had considered ignorant, unable, or unimportant (especially relevant to many peoples attitude toward the disabled). 3. (n.) The mortification resulting from discovering that one has badly underestimated someone actually much better at something than they believed (and criticized). 4. (interj.) (2nd person) Wow, I guess you feel stupid. (1st person) Oh crap. Please just let the earth open and swallow me or even Ive put my foot in my mouth before, but this time Ive shoved it all the way to the kneecap. (From the Welsh Penhebogyd master of hawks falconer in reference to Stephen Hawking, whose amyotrophic lateral sclerosis does not stop him from repeatedly demonstrating [in an artificial voice] from a wheelchair his mental superiority over the rest of us.)

e.g., So here he is, condescendingly explaining Grimms Law to this lady who doesnt tell him until he finishes that she has a PhD in Linguistics. Ooh, pennybog thats harsh.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

pennytrate - The monetary path to a politician's heart and soul.

e.g., Arguments for legislation that would improve the environment or help restore the economy fell on deaf ears. However, the phrase "large campaign contribution" would immediately pennytrate Senator Snort's consciousness and capture his vote.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

pensieve - A form of mental condition where an author, writing implement in hand, is held frozen while meaningless words pass into his or her mind like water flowing through a strainer.

e.g., Drew: What's with Chumley? He's been sitting there for over an hour with a stupid expression on his face. Sue: Oh, it's that he's got a term paper due at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow and he's just being pensieve about it.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

pentaism - The irrational and intense recurring paranoia that any given individual you interact with is a specific foe or nemesis of yours, or that anything negative which transpires in your life is due directly to this individual.

e.g., Owen has a serious case of pentaism. He almost got into a car crash the other day and he swears up and down that it's my fault even though I live two thousand miles away. Then I heard someone was talking to him on the phone and he thought it was me cracking jokes about him. Sure, I crack jokes about him all the time, but I wasn't doing it that time.

submitted by Owen

pentameter - Similar to a centameter, but with five sides.

e.g., The mayor's office decided that pentameters would be the standard unit of measure for all four-dimentional objects because those hundred-sided centameters won't work.

submitted by Phabulocity

pentraculous - Indicates something overwhelming difficult and trying.

e.g., Today has just been too pentraculous for me. I feel lying down in a ditch and dying.

submitted by Sven Dools

pentropy - Tendency of nearly all ballpoint pens to vanish from your desk after 20 minutes when you are looking elsewhere.

e.g., I would hav sent you the check yesterday but for the pentropy in the afternoon.

submitted by Henry Grellaud - (www)

peop - Short for people.

e.g., Call the rest of the peop and see if they want to go with us.

submitted by Elaine Cooke

people pollution - The amount of people in one place at one time multiplied by the overall coefficient of smell (COS) of all the people.

e.g., While walking down the street in Las Vegas, I was overcome by people pollution.

submitted by Chris

people-churner - Silicon Valley term for a manager in an organization or corporation who remains in the same position for years while all the others reporting to him transfer, quit, or are promoted elsewhere. A n obnoxious tyrannical manager who's going nowhere organizationally.

e.g., Our Operations Manager is a real people-churner. No one else in Operations has been there a year yet and he's been there forever.

submitted by Joel Parker

people-lation - The number of inhabitants or residents of an area based on the information provided using new estimation methods such as crowd sourcing andr data exhaust models. The population numbers by the people based on the people.

e.g., In the 32nd century the population of utopia was estimated based on the last census to be only 1.5 billion. While the people-lation was clearly over 3.2 billion.

submitted by Phil - (www)

peoria - Fear of peeling too few potatos. Originally from "The Meaning of Liff" by Douglas Adams.

e.g., Her peoria at dinnertime often translated into sides of refried potatos at breakfast.

submitted by Magda Wojtyra - (www)

pep leader - A fun-loving individual, on a mission to banish sadness and boredom in all surrounding people.

e.g., Pep leader recommends massage therapy for a hangover.

submitted by Voice_of_Reason - (www)

pepilarion - Five or more days of pure happiness.

e.g., Oh, Lord, give me just one more pepilarion.

submitted by sierra english

pepperdinetemperment - Exclamation. Reflects an attitude of a meaningless sort of ennui, or a declaration to rid oneself of this ennui.

e.g., Beth: This movie just got really good. Seth: I think it's cause we're stoned. Beth. Yeah, I think you're right. (pause) Together: Pepperdinetemperment! (Laughter)

submitted by kurt - (www)

pepperocrastination - Eating everything around the last piece of pepperoni on the last piece of a pizza, then slowly savoring eating the remaining piece.

e.g., This pizza requires, nay warrants, proper pepperocrastination.

submitted by Eugene Hopstetter, Jr. - (www)

pepperoniac - A pepperoni connoisseur, addict or any medial combination of the two.

e.g., Me and my girl along with so many folks we know are pepperoniacs.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

pepperrika - The southern spelling for paprika. Merriam-Webster, Incorporated definition for parika is this: mild red condiment consisting of the dried finely ground pods of various cultivated sweet peppers.

e.g., Those deviled eggs have pepperrika sprinkled on top.

submitted by Frankie Nichols

peppier - That annoying waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

e.g., There goes the peppier again. I wonder how much he gets paid for doing that.

submitted by Peppier - (www)

pepple room - A living room. People go in the living room, so it becomes the pepple room.

e.g., Let's watch TV in the pepple room.

submitted by Hannah

peppler - Bits of food caught in your teeth.

e.g., "Do I have any pepplers?" Said while showing your front teeth to the person addressed.

submitted by Laurie Ward - (www)

pepsi - Fake Coca Cola

e.g., A: I'll have a coke, please. B: Sorry, we only have Pepsi.

submitted by Boris

pepsi-charter - The term given to one or a group of people, generally 14- to 24-year-old white Australian males who wear board shorts, follow pop culture music and fashion, eat meat pies, drink copious amounts of alcohol, and religiously watch AFL and horse racing. Can be likened to "footy jocks," yet more specific. A sub-culture of Pepsi-charter wannabes also exists.

e.g., Michael: "Charlton, look at the fellow over there in his boardshorts drinking Fosters kickin' the footy around." Fred: "He's a bloody Pepsi-charter, mate."

submitted by Razzle Dazzle

pepsticide - In Plachimada in Kerala in the southern state of India, Pepsi and Coca Cola drinks were found to contain insecticide residue in large quantities. The Indian Parliament deputed a committee to study the situation and found that the soft drinks contained more insecticide residues than permitted by E.U. prescriptions. Hence the word Pepsticide.

e.g., "Gimme a bottle of pepsticide," the desperate farmer from Kerala asked the vendor. "My farm is full of fruit flies. I am fed up with them. I'll spray it on them. Or I've to drink it. (Many Indian farmers are committing suicide'cos of crop failure.)

submitted by agbabu - (www)

pepsunami - The wave of foam erupting from a glass when pouring a carbonated drink.

e.g., Adam soaked the tablecloth with brown pepsunami foam when he poured warm cola into his glass.

submitted by Roy Egdall

per cryptions - With or by secret codes. Also, the mysterious way of writing (or handwriting) on scrips by your doctor!

e.g., I'm very lucky, my doctor doesn't write per cryptions, it's all very plain and readable, and I've looked up all the abbreviations on the internet. It may be Greek to you, but it's geek to me.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

per ile mendici - (rhymes with pear-'ee-lay-'men-dee-key or -chee; adv.) The unlooked for, lowly, pedestrian end of something noteworthy, great, monumental, vel cet. [Latin for "through the guts of a beggar," Hamlet's stinging remark about the fact that a worm might eat of a king's remains, and a man might eat of a fish he had caught using that same worm. As Hamlet says, this shows "how a king may go a progress through the guts of a beggar."]

e.g., "This used to be the heart of downtown haute couture. Now look at it: it's going to be razed and redeveloped." "Wow, per ile mendici ... oh, how the mighty have fallen."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

per ooze - To examine in detail, the aftermath of a flood.

e.g., The waters finally subsided after 1974's Hurricane Hazel ripped through much of the Northeast. I entered my grandmother's modest home, in Port Blanchard, a community of coal miners' houses outside of Pittston, Pa., to per ooze the damage. To my consternation, a wet, thick, foul-smelling blanket of black mud completely covered each article throughout every room. Resigned to the fact that absolutely nothing could be salvaged, I started the cleanup by taking a ruined chair from the living room, out the front door to put at the curb. As I exited, I looked down the street to see, in the long row of houses that stretched to the horizon, her neighbors start the same clean up process. No one was spared -- every single property was similarly affected. I learned then the full and sad meaning of "complete devastation."

submitted by Marty D'Mello

per say - Per se: Of, in, or by itself or oneself; intrinsically.

e.g., “Another lawmaker who has been a thorn in the side of intelligence agencies, outspoken Florida Democrat Alan Grayson, said the incident ‘illustrates the dangers of pervasive spying not just on members of Congress, but on members of the general public.’ “‘It’s not so much whether members of Congress, per say, might feel chilled, but whether its chilling to think that the federal government has a record of our phone calls, mail that we send, the mail that we receive, our purchases,’ he said Thursday during an interview in the Speaker’s Lobby.”

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

peralta - Mong, git, stupid person.

e.g., Help. The peraltas are running the schools.

submitted by Netz - (www)

percastat - Mispronunciation of the pain medication Percocet.

e.g., I took three percastat today and my knee is still killing me.

submitted by chris gifuni

perceptathong - One who wears her pants low enough that her thong is visible from all sides; the visible thong sticking out from a pair of pants.

e.g., Chris doesn't need to show off her underpants that way. I think she's deliberately being a perceptathong. By the way, when did she stop wearing power knickers?

submitted by denise

percession - A persistent recession that doesn't last long enough to be a depression, but recurs after a brief upturn. (Thanks to Kyla for percessive, q.v.)

e.g., This percession keeps the economy dipping like a yoyo on a short string.

submitted by Pittsburgh Vince

percessive - Persistent and recessive combined. I used it once, thinking it was a real word. My Language Arts teachers obviously didn't. (ED. "Language Arts"? What we used to call "English"? Gotta be politically correct, ya know. Or is this the class for those who are so erudite they paint pictures with words?)

e.g., The percessive ringing began to get on the monkey's nerves.

submitted by Kyla

perchance - Used as a combination as "percent" and "chance."

e.g., The weatherman said that there was a 10 perchance of rain today. He's always wrong.

submitted by Alek

perchaps - A variation of "perhaps," a synonym for "maybe."

e.g., Perchaps Tina will rule the world.

submitted by matthew salernonononono

percinema - How character evolves internally in a film, as the story progresses.

e.g., The character's unrealistic percinema did not result in the film's getting good reviews. Quite the contrary.

submitted by Max Einhorn - (www)

percinticulous - Being a real arrogant bastard about something petty, and doing it with a smile on your face, a swing in your step.

e.g., I hate to be a percinticulous bastard, but you keep leaving the remote on the coffee table and not on the TV. Stop it, okay? Thanks.

submitted by Andrew Ebright

percodelic - Coffee or espresso with 2-4 shots of rum, bourbon or some other complementary hard liquor added.

e.g., Manisitever freezincold out there. Think I'ma have some percodelic foreye headout.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

percrastination - Acting with promptness.

e.g., Her precastination with percrastination countered his procrastination.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

percuburp - Percuburp is the sputtering sound the coffee pot makes when it tries to send the last of the water through to brew.

e.g., The coffee is ready, didn't you hear it percuburp?

submitted by Valerie

percuss - To skillfully play percussion instruments, usually as musical background fill-in.

e.g., Beth will percuss for the band today. She's a great percusser.

submitted by Linda O'Keefe - (www)

percussive maintainence - The suprisingly successful technique of trying to fix something by hitting it.

e.g., The TV wasn't working, but I did a bit of percussive maintainance on it and now it's fine.

submitted by BoganPatrol

percussive maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

e.g., If it doesn't take your money, try percussive maintenance.

submitted by Nornee

perdaughter - A replacement for the word person -- for feminists who object to the use of any word that might appear to be masculine. Same use as woperdaughter.

e.g., Did you happen to be watching The Colbert Report when a young twinkler referred to herself as "a female-bodied perdaughter"? "Seriously?" "Well, except that she didn't have my new word at her disposal. She actually said "female-bodied person." That was the first time I had seen someone wiggle her fingers downward to signal her disapproval.

submitted by Machiavellean

perdner - Combination of "pretty near" and "damn near."

e.g., I perdner lost control of my car.

submitted by Kevin Thompson

peregrin - To wander around -- especially in reference to aimless virtual wandering in cyberspace. A back formation of

e.g., Rather than spend my time reminiscing about better days, I prefer to peregrin. . . . No, that doesn't mean smiling at my children, doofus.

submitted by HD Fowler

perfect 10,000 - A perfect ten thousand, the highest pinnacle of excellence, on a scale from zero to ten thousand.

e.g., In order to appreciate the beauty of a worm who merits the score of a perfect ten thousand, it helps to be a discerning worm yourself.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

perfection bubble - A harmonious physical environment, one which is hard to find and enjoy.

e.g., Mmmmm, the Museum of Modern Art store is filled with items destined for the perfetion bubble.

submitted by Voice_of_Reason

perfeczide - To make perfect

e.g., "I perfeczide the car, so now it runs better than ever."

submitted by justin

perfico - Perfect.

e.g., "That party was perfico,"said Rachel

submitted by Kate

perfle - The tear-off strips of paper with holes in them on each side of the page used by pin-feed printers.

e.g., Some of the perfle was in the waste basket by the printer, some was hanging over the sides of the basket, but most was on the floor.

submitted by Jay H. Harris

perfliction - An affliction of models -- addicted to being perfect. Perdiction.

e.g., She's had surgery -- oh, I don't know, about seventy-eleven times -- because of her perflicitin.

submitted by [Janice Dickinson]

perflippity - Silly, effeminate behavour.

e.g., The high school girls at the mall were annoying me with their perflippity.

submitted by Joe

performacne - Pimples one gets from being nervous about a public performance.

e.g., Justin was so nervous before he sang that he got a bad case of performacne.

submitted by FPM2K - (www)

performant - High performing.

e.g., My car is more performant than yours.

submitted by Nick Hodapp

perfory - The little strips of paper with holes, used to maintain alignment of paper in printers and billing machines.

e.g., Tear off the perfory before you distribute the sheets.

submitted by LenHeller

perfucked - Perfectly fucked (up). When a thing or situation has become as bad as possible, contrary to all expectations. Murphy's Law taken to an extreme.

e.g., We've wrecked the car, it's raining, my wallet's gone, and Jane just went into labor. This is perfucked.

submitted by MadDreamer - (www)

perfuct - Wonderful and really fucked up at the same time.

e.g., Your boyfriend is here? With his ex? That's perfuct.

submitted by Stealth

perfumer - One who perfumes a house -- i.e., one who sprays perfume throughout a house. Coined by 5-year-old Alec after he was asked if he might become an inventor of perfumes when he grows up. . . . Alec just turned ten, and he still enjoys perfuming.

e.g., "No, I'm going to be a perfumer."

submitted by [Alec]

perfumigate - "to douse onesself with perfume or some other type of "freshening" spray in order to mask odors such as smoke, b.o., etc."

e.g., I ate the sizzlin' platter of fajitas at Chili's and had to perfumigate before going back to the office.

submitted by atlee

perfunctional - Able to perform in a functional way.

e.g., We need to repair the car so that it becomes perfunctional again.

submitted by Ryan Eggers

perfused - 1. N. The state of being both perplexed and confused. 2. Adj. Expression of a confused state.

e.g., JimBob looked perfused when it was explained to him that naked tractor riding was not a good idea.

submitted by bertthebigyellowdog

pergal - A rectangular box with a lid for storing milk bottles.

e.g., Make sure the milkman knows to put the milk in the pergal and shut the lid so those pesky birds don't peck through the foil tops.

submitted by Colin Taffel

perhapsably - Something that is less than likely. A combination of perhaps and possibly. Usually used as a one word answer to an annoying request.

e.g., Q: Mommy, can you take us to see Barney on Ice? A: Perhapsably.

submitted by Scott Marchus

pericoital dysnomia - During an intimate event, addressing one's lover by a name other than her own.

e.g., Julie wept as she handed him the divorce papers, which cited pericoital dysnomia as the grounds. It didn't help when he then hissed, "You won't get one red cent from me, Stephanie."

submitted by adam thorsell

pericumbobulation - Pain.

e.g., I'm sorry to have caused you such pericumbobulation

submitted by Numfar

perilments - More than one peril moment and its many dramas rolled into one.

e.g., There are many questions that linger in my soul but the many perilments of my heart do not know how long to keep on going.

submitted by Nyssa

perimenomancy - The art of predicting the future by waiting to see what happens.

e.g., It's easy to criticise with the gift of perimenomancy.

submitted by Doctor Eelpout

periomma - Punctuation used to to separate sentences.

e.g., That's not a semicolon, it's a periomma.

submitted by Colby

peripathetic - Moving with a shuffling or shambling gait.

e.g., The stoned homeless person was truly peripathetic.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

peripheral artillery disease - A friend misspoke in a telephone conversation yesterday and referred to PAD, peripheral artery disease, as peripheral artillery disease. A not surprising slip of the tongue for a retired artillery colonel. He's probably said the word "artillery" many more times than he's said the word "artery." To give his version of PAD a definition: In World War II, if you were unprotected and a 50mm mortar shell hit next to you, you usually suffered peripheral artillery disease and were soon at room temperature.

e.g., "What did Press die of?" "Peripheral artillery disease." "He died from it? I thought the worst that could happen was really severe pain." "Not if it's caused by a 50mm shell fired from a mortar. He died during The Big War, not recently. You're thinking of Little Press, Big Press's son. Little Press is still with us, but maybe not for long. Not the way he eats and drinks."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

perlude - An item that relates or refers to something else.

e.g., That letter perludes to the case

submitted by Karen

permaflood - An area of previously dry land that, due to environmental changes, has become permanently flooded. A continuation of this situation may lead to the area being designated a pond or lake.

e.g., In recent years much of the car park has suffered from a permaflood, rendering it more suitable for boats than cars.

submitted by Chris Hawkridge - (www)

permafried - The disposition a stoner develops after many years of abusing marijuana. Characterized by lack of short-term memory; confusion; slow, slurred speech; and a permanent wan smile.

e.g., Chris is permafried. All he does is walk around, amazed with everything, going "Dude!" Of course, with him, I'm not sure it was the weed.

submitted by BigAssFries

permafunk - An unpleasant, unmaskable, and tenaciously pernicious human odor, usually of bodily origin.

e.g., He would have gladly offered to help with his roommate's laundry if it were not for the permafunk which leapt from the hamper.

submitted by David Szabo

permagin - Someone who will stay a virgin forever, usually not by choice.

e.g., I'll bet you that Brandon ends up being a permagin.

submitted by Brandon Ducharme

permagreived - Made to suffer grief for the rest of one's live. Parents who have suffered the death of a child will be brokenhearted for the rest their lives.

e.g., Jim and Sally were permagrieved in 1996.

submitted by Djazzgirl - (www)

permagrin - A state of being. | Appearing to be in a permanent state of grinning or smiling, despite your circumstances or state of mind.

e.g., "Chris must be extremely high. Notice her permagrin." "Yeh, I've seen that look before. She's been there, done that."

submitted by Bob

permahold - Being placed on hold for an indefinite amount of time (while listening to terrible hold music), wondering if you will ever be picked up again.

e.g., I called my insurance company today and I was left on permahold.

submitted by Chad - (www)

permanti style - Adding cole slaw and french fries to any kind of sandwich. Originating from the Permanti Bros. restaurant in Pittsburgh, PA.

e.g., Just mind your own business. I'm making my sandwich Permanti Style today.

submitted by Dave Welsch

permatary - That quick-fix temporary repair job you did around the house 14 yrs. ago is still working? That's a permatary job.

e.g., He was a jack-of-all-trades, but many of his repairs were done in permatary manner.

submitted by G.S. Wickens

permathirst - A polite way of describing a person with an alcoholic condition.

e.g., I don't like to call Chris an alcoholic, but he does seem to suffer from permathirst.

submitted by Will Howells

permavein - Someone who works out so much that she develops enlarged veins that show at all times.

e.g., If you keep doing those pushups, you're going to become a permavein.

submitted by Heather and Geoff

permissioned - To adjust the user rights of an object to allow a user access.

e.g., I have permissioned Sharon to use Dreamweaver.

submitted by Elliot Tucker - (www)

pernificant - Exceedingly average.

e.g., The team's pernicifant performance again showed they just didn't care to win, or lose.

submitted by Jay

pernt - Pertinent information.

e.g., We had to read through three paragraphs to get to the pernt.

submitted by Susan Beyer - (www)

pernt - New Orleans slang for "point."

e.g., This version of software is one pernt two. What's your pernt?

submitted by lthrbls - (www)

perotista - Person who supports the policies or platform of former presidential candidate H. Ross Perot. Play on "Peronista." Usually derogatory.

e.g., Don't mind his political claptrap; he's a Perotista.

submitted by J. Field