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i can see your bum! - Used as a greeting when you can see your friend a bit ahead of you. You can't actually see her bum--you are just being playful and tricky. The only appropriate responses are "No, you can't," or "I thought it felt pleasantly breezy."

e.g., Kelly spotted Xav up ahead. "I can see your bum, Xav!" she yelled enthusiastically. "No you can't," Xav replied as she turned around, and both went off happily to enjoy the afternoon.

submitted by Kelly

i can't get it up - The courage to say or do something.

e.g., I've fallen, and I can't get it up = I've fallen in love, and I can't get up the courage to tell her. (ED. In this case, you're probably better off having no bottle.)

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

i choose you - From pokemon, regards a tool one is about to use. The more obvious, the better.

e.g., We need to go to the liquor store. '87 Chevy Blazer, I choose you.

submitted by qnarf

i demand - "I demand" is a game wherein the passengers in a car are all blindfolded. The driver, for obvious safety reasons, is exempt from this requirement. The passengers take it in turn to issue one of three instructions to the driver, who must comply to the best of his ability. The three instructions are "I demand you turn left," "I demand you turn right," and "I demand you go straight ahead." After the expiry of a pre-determined period of time, announced by the driver as the only one who can see his watch, the passengers have to guess precisely where they are before removing their blindfolds. The winner is the one who guesses the closest.

e.g., "I am bored driving aimlessly," said Colin. "I demand we play 'I demand'." "I am low on petrol" said Mick; "I demand we don't."

submitted by Colin Taffel

i denny kenn - (Scottish) I don't know.

e.g., Alafair: Where did Alowishus go? Scotty: I denny kenn.

submitted by Mr. Ragsinhisears - (www)

i got new shoes today - A phrase used to indicate that a person has entered the room but you do not want that person to know you have acknowledged her.

e.g., *hot guy enters room* I got new shoes today, Sara. Do you wanna take a look at them?

submitted by Daphne

i hope to shout! - Redneckese for "I certainly hope so!'"

e.g., Bo: So, Skeeter, are you going to the opening of deer hunting season in a couple of weeks? Skeeter: I hope to shout!

submitted by Paul

i know you are but what about - This is used as a comeback to any insult. It is meant to confuse the other person, giving you the last words

e.g., Chris: Donnie, you're a pilark. Donnie: I know you are but what about the table?

submitted by Donnie Mallen

i n-nun date - A Vatican approved anti-masturbatory litany, designed to flood, and detract, the mind with hilarious images, and help keep young Catholic boys "pure."

e.g., "I n-nun date" and "toe-knee-chest-nut" were my two favorite chants while in the sixth grade at St. Cyril's Catholic school.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

i said you look nice tonight - When you say something and someone asks you to repeat it, but you would rather not, you respond with "I said you look nice tonight."

e.g., You tell your friend "Jon's the nosiest guy I know." She asks you to repeat what you just said, but Jon walks up, so your response to her is "I said you look nice tonight."

submitted by Angie B - (www)

i saw ying - Slang for "a saying." Fig: To see one side of things. A killer.

e.g., Don't blame me if you don't understand me!...I saw ying...only.

submitted by Eloy

i see france - A way to tell a friend that his thong, bra strap, or boxers are showing. Taken from the old children's rhyme, "I see London, I see France, I see someone's underpants."

e.g., Psst, Jenny, fix your sweater. I see France.

submitted by Pineapple - (www)

i seen somebody get shot. - A threat that implies the speaker is extraordinarily tough.

e.g., Please, you don't know where I'm from. I seen somebody get shot.

submitted by Rocky RPM

i spilled my coffee! - This is a playful inside joke. It is a code for when you find someone so highly attractive that you'd spill your coffee just at the mention of her name. She makes you come undone inside, and most times you blush at the very thought of her.

e.g., "Datura, Vince. Spill your coffee now." "I spilled that, the entire carafe, and the coffee grounds."

submitted by Datura

i swan - Also "I swannee." I swear. The Word Detective tells us: "But, logical as it may seem, the Swannee River is not the source of "I swannee." For that we must travel to the north of England, where when folks really wanted other folks to believe something they were saying, they would preface it with "I shall warrant ye," meaning "I swear to you that this is true." Of course, accents in the north of England being thicker than wool soaked in molasses, what they actually said was closer to "I's wan ye," which sounds a great deal like "I swannee." It was in this form that the phrase was imported into the U.S. in the mid-19th century, although an even briefer form, "I swan," is perhaps more popular in this country. Today "I swannee" and "I swan" are most often used as interjections or expressions of surprise, as in "Ruth really ran off with that cute UPS guy? Well, I swan!"

e.g., "When I called and asked to speak to Michelle, I was told she didn't work there any more. I'll bet she ran off with that Fedex boyfriend of hers." "Well, I swan. I thought she loved every minute of her job. Do you suppose that changed when she was promoted to Assistant Director." "Maybe. Or it may have been a way to promote her to a job that could be eliminated. She might have been getting too expensive in her old job."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

i'd like to *verb* his *noun* - Base form for constructing sexual innuendo. Best effect is achieved by using the most innocent verb-noun combinations.

e.g., I'd like to wash his car.

submitted by iAn - (www)

i'm a dot - I'm departing. From the military fliers' experience of watching another plane leave a training area. As it leaves it gets smaller and smaller, until it loses its shape and becomes a dot.

e.g., I've got a meeting on the other side of base. Sorry, I'm a dot.

submitted by babbette

i'm doin' cartwheels - Used when you are expected to be excited but you could care less.

e.g., "John, we're going to grandma's today." "Oh, I'm doin' cartwheels."

submitted by Heather McKinney - (www)

i'm gone - A more casual way of saying "I'm leaving now."

e.g., Guy walking towards door: "I'm gone."

submitted by David

i'm madam - Acertain story has Adam, the first man, as saying to what had previously been one of his ribs (aka Eve, the first woman), "Madam, I'm Adam." Less commonly known is that Eve is reported to have replied, "Adam, I'm madam."

e.g., Reaching for it, what she "actually" said was not "Adam, I'm madam," but the more mystical "Atom, I'm mad am!" Referring to their atomic origins, and being delighted (mad) about being a human being. (Oh no)

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

i'm so mad at the secret service. - An exclamation. Usually said when you're angry or surprised but don't know who to be angry or surprised at. From The Simpsons.

e.g., We have a pop quiz today? I'm so mad at the Secret Service right now.

submitted by Doc

i'm your sire - Being the master of a vampire. Response given after successfully sending someone to "a dark alleyway" and sucking out her blood, making her a vampire.

e.g., Bert: What's this with you creeping up behind me in shadows? What happened to the Britney Spears site? Ernie: Ha ha. I sucked out your blood. Now I'm your sire.

submitted by pr00f_0f_d3f - (www)

i'ma - I am going to.

e.g., I'ma get going now. Toodles.

submitted by Mia

i'miz - A declarative statement in the affirmative.

e.g., Cashier at Piggly Wiggly: "Ma'am you can't use this Publisher's Clearinghouse check to buy your groceries; it's not a real check." Woman with a buggy full of Ding Dongs: "I'z gots dis check inda mail today, it's gots my name on it, so yes I'miz."

submitted by Bill

i-d-ten-t error - (n.) A problem or bug in a computer caused by improper human use rather than by errors in the software. (Etymology: idiot -> id10t -> i-d-ten-t)

e.g., Brandon: "There, I kicked the computer. Is that what you mean by 'boot'? Uh oh, error message! Is it a virus?" Tech support: "No, Brandon, it's an i-d-ten-t error."

submitted by Mirakle B.

i.d.ology - The science and study of I.D.s: names, codes, means of identification,

e.g., A thorough understanding of I.D.ology is essential to protecting and preserving the integrity of our country (USA).

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

i.r - Is Rank, used to decribe appearance of a person.

e.g., "What do ya think of my new girlfriend, Adam?" "I.R."

submitted by adam rompa

ian richton - Any middle-school/high-school student obsessed with a fetish for seeking attention and popularity more so than grades or scholastic excellence. Will sometimes resort to the use of high-class toilet items (say, 4711) to get the point. (Derived from the character in the Nickelodeon series "As Told by Ginger.")

e.g., "Don't tell me, but doesn't that kid in the lunchroom somehow remind you of one Ian Richton?"

submitted by Larry Ellis Reed - (www)

ianuic - Of or relating to doors. Derived from the Latin ianua meaning door. Pronounced "ee ANNE you ick"

e.g., There are some minor ianuic problems with the house.

submitted by Matt

iatollah - Ayotallah: a high-ranking Shiite religious leader who is regarded as an authority on religious law and its interpretation and who has political power as well. From Wikipedia: Romanization of Arabic Different approaches and methods for the romanization of Arabic exist. They vary in the way that they address the inherent problems of rendering written and spoken Arabic in the Latin script. Examples of such problems are the symbols for Arabic phonemes that do not exist in English or other European languages; the means of representing the Arabic definite article, which is always spelled the same way in written Arabic but has numerous pronunciations in the spoken language depending on context; and the representation of short vowels (usually i u or e o , accounting for variations such as Muslim/Moslem or Mohammed/Muhammad/Mohamed ). Posted for RM by MS; however, the spelling can hardly be called wrong. Transliteration from Arabic to English isn't arbitrary, of course, but it's not and can't be perfect either. The example uses the grocer's apostrophe.

e.g., I don't think they mean it personally either. But the bastard iatollah's and the religious leadership a**wholes over there … indoctrinates them to say it. Citizens of a totalitarian regime where information is controlled have a completely whacky outlook on the rest of the world. Look at North Korea. Same thing. The roving blackouts and abject poverty is blamed on us by their government [and the populace] then thinks we are the cause of all their problems. So we are the Imperialist American dogs. Place the blame on anyone OTHER than your government so your people don't revolt; this had been done in governments since the dawn of civilization.

submitted by [Miss Speller for Ragemonkey]


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