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haircut blog - A weblog that is filled with descriptions of mundane activities such as getting a haircut.

e.g., Don't bother reading that; it's just a haircut blog. | I'm anxiously awaiting kiteria's haircut blog so we can keep up with his daily activities when he's away from the boards.

submitted by John Berger

hairdab - A small amount; just a little bit; usually used to descibe an amount more or less than what you have.

e.g., Q. Would you like some more mashed potatoes with your dinner? A. Sure, I'll have a hairdab more.

submitted by Jen

hairdryer - A modern 50cc scooter.

e.g., Have you seen Chris O riding his new hairdryer?

submitted by Toby Shoobridge

hairfarmer - Guy with superlong, greasy hair. Looks like he's "farming" the hair as a crop, growing it for other people to use.

e.g., Oho! The bad guy in the movie was a real hairfarmer. Scary.

submitted by Milkman

hairfarmer - A man with long hair who dotes too much attention to said hair. (Credited to James Ruggieri.) (Submitted to pd.com before with a slightly different description.)

e.g., Kent and Mark are serious hairfarmers. Chris is, too, but he's about 80% bald.

submitted by Scott Adams - (www)

hairing-impaired - The modern day "politically-correct" term for "bald."

e.g., George chastised his son for referring to his uncle Bob as "bald" and told him to use the term "hairing-impaired" instead.

submitted by Wells Martin - (www)

hairless wonder - A human being: small on hair, big on wonder.

e.g., Compared to our cousins, chimps, apes, monkeys, gorillas, and all the rest, we are indeed a hairless wonder. All that hair is so animal, and who needs it when you have cotton and silk and nylon and other groovy fabrics. Dispense with the hair and crank up the brain cells; intelligence makes the difference, sometimes.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

hairridan - A harridan with bad hair.

e.g., Not only was the hairridan unpleasant in all imaginable ways, she had the gall to verbally attack one of my pseudo-friends. | "Hairridan Haiku While killing world boss, Some ass uses a cookie. Application crash. Ran to grab dailies Ooooh, look at all the people. Application crash. At mobs for daily. Tank pulls ten mobs, so I pray. Application crash. Hmm, my runes seems low. I think I will buy somemore. Nice! I didn't crash."

submitted by Lillith - (www)

hairsicle - Hair that people with long bangs habitually suck on.

e.g., You can tell Sophie thought the test was tough, because she brought her hairsicle.

submitted by Sophie

hairsute - Hirsute, how it should be spelled.

e.g., No, I don't particularly like it when my hirsute friends rag on me because I'm bald.

submitted by HD Fowler

hairy canary - Kill self on purpose by swallowing small yellow songbird, sweet tweet. Avoid long lines, threat of thermonuclear annihilation.

e.g., You may leave this world in a space craft, or as the result of old age, or disease, or accident. Those who can not wait might consider hairy canary, or other similar device to interrupt the usual functioning permanently.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

haitch - The 8th letter of the alphabet. circulated by melissa crowley

e.g., I think it starts with a haitch, doesn't it?

submitted by smily

hakamaki - Describing anything that's not liked--as icky, gross, disgusting.

e.g., The pizza we ordered for lunch was hakamaki.

submitted by JW

haku - (n.) water, in all its forms, especially when the speaker is especially thirsty or grimy. (From the ancient Nostratic *haku "water.")

e.g., "It's gotta be like 103 in the shade." "Yeah ... I need some haku." | "Okay, let's hit the haku and lose the grime."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hal - (Rhymes with "Sal"; n.) 1. A computer which has somehow achieved, or appears to have achieved, independent thought, especially when such computer turns against its programmers, its program, or its own operation; 2. The rebellious or self-aware computer in any science-fiction or -fantasy story; 3. Any computer or heuristic device that runs a ship/base/house/school/whatever, especially if such device has a vocal interface. [from the computer in Arthur C. Clarke's _2001_, et al.]

e.g., The S.A.R.A. program in the Television comedy Eureka is a typical Hal. Fortunately she has not turned entirely against her residents ... yet.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hal - (rhymes with 'gal'; n.) 1. Any computer or other heuristic device which has, or at least appears to have, achieved sentience, especially if it is rebellious or recalcitrant in its operation; 2. Any computer or other heuristic device in charge or control of any installation, system, factory, ship, house, school, or whatever; 3. Loosely, any machine that seems to have taken a dislike to people. [After HAL, Arthur C. Clarke's "Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic Computer" in _2001: A Space Odyssey_, which controls the voyage to Saturn (in the Book) or Jupiter (in the movie), and turns (lethally) against his human controllers.]

e.g., "You know, I sometimes think this CRAY is sentient, sarcastic, and seeking my blood---it's just a hal waiting for someplace airless to suffocate me." "You know what? This laptop is pretty hallish itself."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

haladilnik - (Rhymes with call-a-DILL-pick; the Russian холодильник (kholodil\'nik) \"refrigerator\" pronounced as most English speakers would repeat it; n.) 1. A refrigerator; 2. Anywhere it is really cold: Siberia, e.g., or the Arctic (or Antarctic), or the part of a mountain above the snow line; 3. An enormous blizzard or other storm involving ice and snow (especially hail); 4.(metaphorically) \"In the doghouse\": in trouble with your significant other, who is now giving you \"the cold shoulder\"; 5.(by extension) In trouble in any group as a result of having offended someone; 6.(ironically) the Cold War of 1947--93. (adj.) 7. Frozen, cold, either literally or figuratively.

e.g., 1. What's in your haladilnik? 2. Why do they call it Greenland when it's just a big haladilnik? 3. There's a terrible haladilnik coming in from the north: do we have food and fuel for a while?, 'cause we're gonna be socked in for at least a week!. 4. "Why is Ellen being so nasty to Jack? I thought they were together." "They're fine, Jack's just hanging with the mayo in the haladilnik." 5. In_Mary Poppins_, Mr. Banks is called on the carpet by the owners of the bank: he's really in the haladilnik. 6. Remember the backyard bomb shelter craze back during the haladilnik? 7. "Wow, what a haladilnik chill in here ... don't any of you ever smile?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

halalization - Legality. "Halal" means "legal" or "approved" in Arabic. The word is also used in the Indian subcontinent (Bangladesh, Pakistan, India, etc.).

e.g., The halalization of the whole matter would largely depend on the department head.

submitted by hs

halcoholic - Short for "happy alcoholics": the best kind of drinking buddies. Those who gets happier and friendlier as they become inebriated (rather than dour or abusive, as is often the case). (ED.: Perhaps we should celebrate diabetes while we're at it?)

e.g., My halcoholic uncle George always told the best stories after the umpteenth scotch. Good, those miserable souses have left. Now we halcoholics can get on with the good times.

submitted by Chris L

half a nice day - A statement, imparted by a clerk or sales person after a sale, that is based upon the act of expressing some measure of gratitude and well-wishing to the purchaser. However, it is delivered with such a lack of enthusiasm and insultingly empty of meaning that it ruins 50% of your day.

e.g., Young male cashier handing me a grocery receipt and staring, vacuously, into space: "Half a nice day..." Me: "And you have a full night of pain and sorrow, you pimply faced twit!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko

half vast - A person's irresponsible attitude and quantitatively half-hearted effort toward a monumental task.

e.g., It was his 70th birthday. Colin sat morosely in the murky dim light in the quiet of a local bar, nursing a scotch and soda. Mentally flipping, and reflipping, through the pages of his life, looking for something to celebrate, he concluded that the huge and meaningful goals of his youth -- to become a wealthy and respected self-made man by the time he reached this birthday -- were never to be. With the potential of a whole world to conquer, he could only blame himself for a lifetime of half vast actions. There was one major achievement, though, he thought to himself with a wry smile; he sure was successful in growing old.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

half your age plus 7 standard - A term popular among college students and pre-middle-aged men. It states that it is okay to date a girl as long as she is half your age plus 7.

e.g., By the half your age plus 7 standard, if you are 22, you may date a girl who is 18 or older.

submitted by EmRobin

half-asserbic - What acerbic wit becomes when it's left to writers of Joel Stein's ilk to provide it. (Stein is a columnist for the bankrupt Los Angeles Times.) What is it that makes a non-serving, pathetic asshole weasel whelp whiner windbag wuss bigmouth backbiter blowhard provocateur pup rat backstabber defamer mud-slinger scum libeler slime like Stein think he has even the meagerest credentials to berate duty-bound and honor-driven military men and women who suffer daily hardships and sacrifice their very lives to enable the rest of us to feast at freedom's table? My son, a bird colonel in the US Army, is a far better writer than Stein has any hope of becoming, and I'll put what he knows up against what Stein knows any day. I have absolutely no doubt that he's Stein's intellectual, ethical, and moral superior even if he has less money. I'll bet he's in better physical shape, too.

e.g., Joel Stein recently whined, "This column may not meet the high levels of quality to which I have made you accustomed. That's because I haven't been getting paid." What this pseudo-journalist doesn't seem to realize is that zero is what he's worth for his half-asserbic musings. The very last thing I expect when I run across a column written by Stein is high quality. I'm not sure which he's better at, being an asshole or being a nincompoop. Maybe he'll catch on when his column is replaced by one written by a 5£-a-thousand-words Bangalorean living in a hovel. Maybe. No wonder newspapers are going down the toilet.    Gabriel Ledeen on Supporting the Troops For Stein to advocate opposition to American soldiers while nonchalantly admitting his own lack of service is a remarkable display of arrogance -- a "wussy" thing to do, one might say. To one who comes from similar circumstances as Stein, but has chosen to serve his country, the thought of such a spineless argument provokes disgust. As noted elsewhere on the web, Theodore Roosevelt wrote an exceptional response to Joel Stein in The Atlantic in 1894. It is proper to demand more from the man with exceptional advantages than from the man without them. A heavy moral obligation rests upon the man of means and upon the man of education to do their full duty by their country. On no class does this obligation rest more heavily than upon the men with a collegiate education, the men who are graduates of our universities. Their education gives them no right to feel the least superiority over any of their fellow-citizens. … For educated men of weak fibre, there lies a real danger in that species of literary work which appeals to their cultivated senses because of its scholarly and pleasant tone, but which enjoins as the proper attitude to assume in public life one of mere criticism and negation; which teaches the adoption toward public men and public affairs of that sneering tone which so surely denotes a mean and small mind. … Again, there is a certain tendency in college life … to make educated men shrink from contact with the rough people who do the world's work, and associate only with one another and with those who think as they do. This is a most dangerous tendency. &he llip;Let him learn that he must deal with the mass of men; that he must go out and stand shoulder to shoulder with his friends of every rank, and face to face with his foes of every rank, and must bear himself well in the hurly-burly. He must not be frightened by the many unpleasant features of the contest. … He will meet with checks and make many mistakes; but if he perseveres, he will achieve a measure of success and will do a measure of good such as is never possible to the refined, cultivated, intellectual men who shrink aside from the actual fray.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

half-cut - Drunk

e.g., Kelly was so half-cut the other night she hit on Jay.

submitted by Sarah - (www)

half-stepper - Somebody who doesn't quite finish her work, or tries to take a lot of shortcuts that cheapens the quaility of the work. Another term for "slacker" (actually a slang military word).

e.g., You don't want ol' Smitty there on yer team. She's a half-stepper.

submitted by Michael Rener

halfback - A Yankee that moves from NY to Florida, then moves halfway back, settling in the NC mountains.

e.g., Halfbacks have really driven up the price of real estate.

submitted by J. Guest

halfers - Splitting somehting -- most commonly food or the bill with someone else.

e.g., Do you want to go halfers on that piece of cake? Halves, halvers.

submitted by Ryan

halfords shopper - Descriptive of a bicycle any self-respecting bike geek would not be seen dead riding. From English automotive parts and cheap bicycle retail chain Halfords, which used to sell very cheap bicycles for carrying shopping. Halfords Shoppers had a hinge in the middle, usually disguised as the frame, which caused them to fail catastrophically after a few years of being left in the rain.

e.g., Nice bike, Mole. Don't see many Halfords shoppers in metallic blue these days.

submitted by Bent Udder - (www)

halfpipe - A general idiot, clueless person, homeslice.

e.g., Think you could get the halfpipe to put that box down any harder? I'm not sure he broke everything in it.

submitted by Heraldmonkey

halfrican - Half-black, half white.

e.g., "The halfrican has shut down coal industry in America without a replacement source for power, just to justify the cost of energy going through the roof for Americans. The middle class of America will take the brunt of the increase as they pay for the rising cost for the poor, like they do for obamacare."

submitted by [tymtrvlr] - (www)

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