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h - it's hard to get people's attention if you write more than 140-characters

e.g., it's hard to get people's attention if you write more than 140-characters

submitted by h

h ex it - The act of muttering a final expletive when leaving a particularly frustrating event.

e.g., The farmer looked down at the cracks in his gnarly, old hands. This was the third time he had been sent to the back of the line for either not having the right form or for filling in the wrong information. He had driven in 40 miles to the DMV office this afternoon, having forgotten all about his driver's license until Cindy, his wife, reminded him that today was the last day to renew the registration and it was too late to do so by mail. "May I have your attention, please?" the stern faced woman in the sunflower dress behind the counter announced to the crowd. "Your local DMV office is open weekdays from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. It is presently 5:05 p.m. This facility is now closed until tomorrow morning." "Gosh DURN it!" said the farmer as he turned to h ex it out the door.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

h to the izzo - Translates into "head out." Meaning "llet's go."

e.g., Let's h to the izzo, this party is terrible.

submitted by Tiffany

h&h - (adj phrase) Abbreviation for "head over heals," an older term (you young'ns might say) for "deeply in love" or "intensely infatuated."

e.g., "Where's Jack?" "He's off with Tali, again." "H&H?" "Yeah ... it's embarrassing sometimes."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

h' - prefix to any name which begins with a vowel.

e.g., What up h'Allan? Have you seen h'Erin?

submitted by Killian B

h-bomb - Utterance of "my husband" by a woman that had been mistaken to be single, such as one who does not wear a wedding ring.

e.g., I asked my favorite cashier how her weekend went, and she dropped the H-bomb on me!

submitted by Dr. Dan Muldoon

h-e-double hockey stick - Used in situations where "hell" is unsuitable.

e.g., Brian: What the hell was that? Teacher: What did you say? Brian: What the h-e-double hockey stick was that?

submitted by rainbow

h-whiner - (n.) A person who is excessively preoccupied about the H1N1 (swine flu) virus and its global effects, or fears he/she is inevitably going to get it. (Etymology: H-whine, a near homonym for H1, from H1N1.)

e.g., You're such an H-whiner, Tucker. Every day since you got home from work it's been all "swine flu" this and "swine flu" that. Just go buy the vaccine.

submitted by Mirakle B. - (www)

h3o - Describes tap water that is just barely drinkable, due to cloudiness or poor taste.

e.g., Bob, if you're thirsty, help yourself to a bottle of water from the fridge. The stuff that comes out of the tap is more like h3o.

submitted by Wayne CC

h4xx0r - Common among "hackers," meaning exactly that. Used so that people who don't speak "leet" will not understand that you are talking about something illegal.

e.g., I Pwn you all, im aleet (1337) h4xx0r

submitted by MrEx

ha.re chrish.nosh - [pron. hod-ay krish-nosh] An expression of gratitude over a bite of kosher Hindu holiday food.

e.g., Ho.de Chrish.nosh, Ho.de Chrish.nosh, the more I eat the more I feel closer to a god.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

haanh - A changing of a relaxed, calm, and good mood to frustrated and irritable by someone who is already haanh (the n in the word is only inflected, not pronounced). Also the step before becoming whaaah.

e.g., I was all right that the officer pulled me over for speeding. I just wish he wasn't so haanh -- it rubbed off on me.

submitted by trey davis

hab - (v.intr.) 1. to train; work as an apprentice or intern; or otherwise acquire an art, skill, or discipline. (v.tr.) 2. to teach or train (someone) in a particular art, skill, or discipline. (Back Formation from "rehab," which means "train for a new job or skill," or to "relearn" a lost skill or practice.)

e.g., "So where'd you learn your gun repair?" "Oh, I habbed in the Guard and then worked at a shop in Wisconsin." | "I was a composition teacher: I have habbed thousands of students the craft of writing."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

habinar - Cool, awesome.

e.g., That was a habinar game.

submitted by Brandon

habitat - The irresistable compulsion to crochet. Ex: My habitat is a blessing for making doileys for Xmas.

e.g., My habitat is a blessing for making Xmas presents.

submitted by HSW

habitual aspect - (n.) a verbal aspect (as opposed to a tense) which means that a particular action occurs (or occurred) regularly. Oddly, perhaps, this appears to be the default interpretation of English verbs appearing by themselves without aspectual markers, such as "have" or "be -ing." So, for instance, nobody answers "what are you doing?" with "I eat." Everyone (who speaks English natively) says "I am eating" because that means "at present." Saying "I eat" (generally) means "I eat every day, or whenever noon rolls around, or when I'm nervous" or something. I have labelled this the habitual aspect, as opposed to the perfect or progressive (or aorist) aspects. (This becomes rather complicated in the preterit, but the explanation is rather complicated and certainly too big for entry here.)

e.g., perfect aspect: we have eaten [already].
progressive aspect: we are eating [right now].
habitual aspect: we eat [as a general rule].

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hac - Have a Cow : to be overzealous

e.g., Geesh! Hac!

submitted by Debbie

hachijuhachi - Rice. From the Japanese word for eighty-eight, the origin for the character "gohan." Japanese for "rice."

e.g., Pass the bowl of hachijuhachi, please.

submitted by Jeff

hack - To "borrow" something that you have no intention on paying back.

e.g., Lemme hack a cigarette from ya.

submitted by shane crawford

hack - Used in the subculture of stand-up comedy to describe a person whose routine is a pastiche of tired cliches, trite material, easy punchlines, or common topics. In addition, any comic who uses props, does a Jack Nicholson impersonation, engages in magic or hypnotism or ever uses the phrase "Have you seen these people?"

e.g., Carrot Top is the ultimate hack.

submitted by Phalange Necklace - (www)

hack - 1. Verb. To exhibit behavior or utter concepts considered inferior, ludicrous, ignorant, inapplicable, or otherwise unacceptable to the observer. 2. Noun. Hack, hacker. One who exhibits behavior or utters concepts considered inferior, ludicrous, ignorant, inapplicable, or otherwise unacceptable to the observer.

e.g., 1. Marky, don't hack. 2. My boss would be more aware of our clients' needs if she weren't such a hack.

submitted by Jeffrey Schuhmacher

hack back - To bring something up then to bring it back down.

e.g., Pastey had to hack back her liver in order not to see the regurgitated mess.

submitted by Allison Finch

hack up hairballs - Less polite way to say "productive cough."

e.g., Please get me some cough syrup so I don't hack up hairballs all day.

submitted by Syl Lindsay

hackel - To cough and hack to an excess with a deep throatiness echoing the sound of phlegm rattling in the lungs.

e.g., Merv's hackeling leaves me anticipating pieces of lung flying from his mouth every time he does it.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

hackenkracks - Noun/ The sound made,& convulsions produced, by a cat trying to cough up a hairball.

e.g., Kitty is sure having a rough time with them hacken- kracks today.

submitted by steve

hacker - One who hacks; a person who performs her tasks with poor quality results.

e.g., Look at Steve's roofing job. It's a terrible wreck, a mess performed by the ultimate hacker.

submitted by nanodroid

hacker - A woman of paricular ugliness. If you wake up the next morning with her still asleep on your arm, you would rather hack your own arm off than disturb her. Double Hacker: You hack the other arm off, just in case she comes looking for a one-armed man. (ED. Hmmm, I'm curious. Just how would a one-armed man go about hacking his arm off?)

e.g., Steve pulled a right hacker last night at his call-centre office party.

submitted by Graham Roberts

hackle - An appendage I accuse ye Ed. of having.

e.g., I submit things to raise HD's hackles (assuming he has such). ED. Indeed he does. Anyone my age or older who doesn't get her hackles raised at least now and again must be what? close to comatose?

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

hacktivist - One who posseses computer hacking skills and who embraces a radical cause, using her hacking skills to be noticed or get attention

e.g., The shocking images splashed across the screen when the web site was accessed, obviously the work of hacktivists.

submitted by Jonathan Searfoss

hadben - A person who thinks she is rich and high-class when in reality, she is a delusional peasant.

e.g., "Do you like my new iPhone 5?" "Stop being a hadben and pretending it's not a Nokia."

submitted by Kelly

hadithi - (Pronounced to rhyme with bah-KEY-see (the 'th' is pronounced as in ethics, not as in either); n.) 1. The realization that , at a certain level, people are all the same---in their needs, their wants, their hopes, their fears, their dreams---notwithstanding their various ethnicities or allegiances---or the arbitrary labels they may wear (whether by force or by preference); 2. Rejection of the labels we use to separate ourselves from one another, so as to see through the rampant isism (q.v.) in the world; 3. Any song, poem, story, or whatever, that embraces the notion that our similarities are greater (and more important) than our differences---that diversity is to be appreciated, but Hadithi is to be practiced. [Hadithi "myth" is short for "Hadithi ya alama za vidole," the Swahili translation of "the Myth of Fingerprints," alluding to the song (and its message) on Paul Simon's "Graceland" album.]

e.g., Once you achieve Hadithi, which the Buddhists of old called (and still call) bodhicitta, you begin to see_people_rather than pigeonholes, hearts rather than hues, and need rather than nation. [I've always enjoyed alliteration.] Some hadithi songs I've heard: "Everyday People" from Sly & the Family Stone album "Stand!" (1968), "Russians" from Sting's album "the Dream of the Blue Turtles" (1985), "Ebony and Ivory" from Paul McCartney's album "Tug of War" (1982), "Black or White" from Michael Jackson's album "Dangerous" (1992). NOTE: The Graceland album includes a number of pieces accompanied by the Zulu group Ladysmith Black Mambazo, although "Myth of Fingerprints" is not among them. Nevertheless, I thought originally to give the Zulu word for "fingerprints." The complete absence of a halfway decent online Zulu dictionary of forensic terms (like "fingerprint") made this impossible (I have a print dictionary, but it is limited to only about 400 words in my Zulu self-study book (which is behind Swahili and Japanese and Chinese and Hebrew and Arabic and so on)---typical me). I did, however find the beautiful Zulu term INGANEKWANE, which means, more or less, "myth, legend, fable" just as Hadithi does.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

haeious - Hay-ows. Similar to heinous except haeious is worse, and more disturbing. It uses all five vowels in alphabetical order.

e.g., The smell emanating from the pig pen was, to say the least, haeious.

submitted by Lachie - (www)

hafferduddle - A Cumbrian (NW England: Lake District, Beatrix Potter country) dialect word for the daffodil. Interestingly enough there are some scholars who are of the opinion that this is the word that William Wordsworth would have used in his famous poem. It is even speculated by some academic authorities that it was his good friend and fellow poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (a man of Devonshire) who persuaded him not to use the word. This may be a shame as the word would almost certainly have been in much wider use today. As it is, usage is largely restricted to the area around Ambleside and Keswick.

e.g., I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden hafferduddle.

submitted by David Ford - (www)

haffin - To divide something in haff.

e.g., Will you haffin that peice of gum wit me?

submitted by Kevin

haffled - A particularly baffling hair experience, or appearance.

e.g., That northwesterly wind has left me severely haffled.

submitted by Jenne - (www)

hafiz - An ancient Persian carbonated beverage, also used as a bath water.

e.g., Much of the sparkle in life comes from immersing oneself in Hafiz.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

haft - One of two evenly-divided portions (Appalachia).

e.g., You ain't seed the haft of it.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

haggard-fat - Haggard AND fat, used to describe someone undesirable.

e.g., She's haggard-fat. Why do you date her? You must have low self-esteem.

submitted by Die Hard Jon MClain

haggardous - Haggard.

e.g., That's haggardous! Stay away from it.

submitted by jeff - (www)

haggardy - Someone who dates only haggard women.

e.g., "Have you met Tim?" "No, but I heard he was a haggardy."

submitted by Die Hard Jon MClain

haggin' - Power nagging; getting on one's nerves with incessant urging.

e.g., After a month, when Bob still wasn't sure about getting the tattoo she picked out, Brenda really started haggin' him.

submitted by David Wilson

haggle - To rip or tear something by being overly aggresive or anxious.

e.g., Stop haggling the bread and get a sharper knife.

submitted by Rob - (www)

haggleable - Negotiable (especially as to price).

e.g., The sticker price is $31,078.22 but because they have so many of that model on the lot, it should be very haggleable.

submitted by Larry Miller

hagglefroth - A small hairless animal, resembling a rabbit. Lives in snow.

e.g., How can that hagglefroth survive with no fur?

submitted by George L.

haggling, hagglin' - Disgusting or unattractive.

e.g., Chris got himself a hagglin' new lady friend. Good match.

submitted by dekoi

haggus - Extremely ugly, dirt ugly.

e.g., The clerk at the checkout was pure haggus.

submitted by Alex Edney

hagiophagia - An unnatural, excessive desire to eat a saint.

e.g., Even from the far end of the long dinner table in that parallel astral realm, the beautiful St. Cindi could feel the hagiophagia rising up inside the Big Super Deity, and she was very tense. "Don't worry," He or She chuckled, noting it but not stopping the spinning whetstone which sang against knife and fork. "It's only a metaphor."

submitted by adam thorsell

hagmot - To make up words. In Spanish, "haga" means "make"; and in French, "mot" means "word."

e.g., He hagmotted so he would sound professional.

submitted by andrew

hags - Noun, abbreviation (to be taken seriously) - Stands for "Have A Great Summer." Often used by high school students at the end of a school year while signing yearbooks. This is sometimes accompanied by the joking abbreviation BAGS, which stands for "Buy A Giraffe." (No one knows what the "S" in BAGS is supposed to stand for.) | Lower-cased, hags: gross, nasty.

e.g., This year was awesome! Take care! I'll see you next year, and be sure to HAGS! | "See that woman over there -- the one with the moles all over her face and the hair on her back? Pretty hags, isn't she? Especially with the hairs coming through the moles on her back." "Don't recognize her do you? That's Lillith, Editrix Extraordinaire for the PseudoDictionary."

submitted by Trahvagen | meredith abbott

hahammmm - A laugh of confusion made by combining "haha" and "hmmmm." Note: when writing "hahammmm" out, at least four m's are required.

e.g., "I was munching up some Christmas lights with the wuzza-wozzi putty, and I turned to a traysnapper and said, 'My tummy is a breast.'" "Hahammmm?"

submitted by Austin Gross - (www)

hai - Yes. From Japanese. Used to answer affirmatively.

e.g., "You coming by later?" "Hai."

submitted by Rich

haikuic license - Breaking away from the 5-7-5 syllable rule if you have a great haiku.

e.g., Hit the send button at badhaiku.com before counting my syllables, but I have a haikuic license.

submitted by onjaysun

haint - haven't

e.g., I haint been to Chicago

submitted by Nathan Powell

haipoo - A haiku (5-7-5 syllable poem) created during private bathroom time, or about private bathroom time.

e.g., Your haipoo was very touching.

submitted by Wally - (www)

hair band - Any of the short lived heavy-metal bands of the 1980's.

e.g., Poison is a perfect example of a hair band.

submitted by Stephen Mize

hair brain - Crazy.

e.g., I was was fed nothing but hair brain ideas my whole life.

submitted by spinner the clown

hair halo - When your hair is very slightly fuzzy and goes around your face so you look like you have a halo when the sun shines on it. Especially used with golden blonde straighter-haired people and in a complimentary way. Usually, if you have fuzzy beauty you also have a hair halo.

e.g., Look at the blonde with the hair halo. She's a goddess.

submitted by Rainbow Woman

hair helmet - A hairstyle that resembles a helmet because of the way the hair lays on the head. Can apply to either a man or a woman.

e.g., When Coach Bodkins dyed his hair flaming orange, it only accentuated the hair helmet thing he already had.

submitted by Hair Helmet

hair shawl - A thick pattern of hair across only the upper chest and shoulders of a man. The hair pattern resembles a man wearing a shawl.

e.g., Chris must stay warm due to his nice hair shawl--except that he's bald.

submitted by Erika Baum

hair-trigger ready to pop - 1. MORE than ready to go. 2. Stated in the heat of an excited situation, but not always.

e.g., Ronnie: So, is everybody ready to go to the circus today? Gerald: We've been building this up for two weeks. I don't know about everybody else, but I'm hair-trigger ready to pop.

submitted by SamL.

haircut blog - A weblog that is filled with descriptions of mundane activities such as getting a haircut.

e.g., Don't bother reading that; it's just a haircut blog. | I'm anxiously awaiting kiteria's haircut blog so we can keep up with his daily activities when he's away from the boards.

submitted by John Berger

hairdab - A small amount; just a little bit; usually used to descibe an amount more or less than what you have.

e.g., Q. Would you like some more mashed potatoes with your dinner? A. Sure, I'll have a hairdab more.

submitted by Jen

hairdryer - A modern 50cc scooter.

e.g., Have you seen Chris O riding his new hairdryer?

submitted by Toby Shoobridge

hairfarmer - Guy with superlong, greasy hair. Looks like he's "farming" the hair as a crop, growing it for other people to use.

e.g., Oho! The bad guy in the movie was a real hairfarmer. Scary.

submitted by Milkman

hairfarmer - A man with long hair who dotes too much attention to said hair. (Credited to James Ruggieri.) (Submitted to pd.com before with a slightly different description.)

e.g., Kent and Mark are serious hairfarmers. Chris is, too, but he's about 80% bald.

submitted by Scott Adams - (www)

hairing-impaired - The modern day "politically-correct" term for "bald."

e.g., George chastised his son for referring to his uncle Bob as "bald" and told him to use the term "hairing-impaired" instead.

submitted by Wells Martin - (www)

hairless wonder - A human being: small on hair, big on wonder.

e.g., Compared to our cousins, chimps, apes, monkeys, gorillas, and all the rest, we are indeed a hairless wonder. All that hair is so animal, and who needs it when you have cotton and silk and nylon and other groovy fabrics. Dispense with the hair and crank up the brain cells; intelligence makes the difference, sometimes.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

hairridan - A harridan with bad hair.

e.g., Not only was the hairridan unpleasant in all imaginable ways, she had the gall to verbally attack one of my pseudo-friends. | "Hairridan Haiku While killing world boss, Some ass uses a cookie. Application crash. Ran to grab dailies Ooooh, look at all the people. Application crash. At mobs for daily. Tank pulls ten mobs, so I pray. Application crash. Hmm, my runes seems low. I think I will buy somemore. Nice! I didn't crash."

submitted by Lillith - (www)

hairsicle - Hair that people with long bangs habitually suck on.

e.g., You can tell Sophie thought the test was tough, because she brought her hairsicle.

submitted by Sophie

hairsute - Hirsute, how it should be spelled.

e.g., No, I don't particularly like it when my hirsute friends rag on me because I'm bald.

submitted by HD Fowler

hairy canary - Kill self on purpose by swallowing small yellow songbird, sweet tweet. Avoid long lines, threat of thermonuclear annihilation.

e.g., You may leave this world in a space craft, or as the result of old age, or disease, or accident. Those who can not wait might consider hairy canary, or other similar device to interrupt the usual functioning permanently.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

haitch - The 8th letter of the alphabet. circulated by melissa crowley

e.g., I think it starts with a haitch, doesn't it?

submitted by smily

hakamaki - Describing anything that's not liked--as icky, gross, disgusting.

e.g., The pizza we ordered for lunch was hakamaki.

submitted by JW

haku - (n.) water, in all its forms, especially when the speaker is especially thirsty or grimy. (From the ancient Nostratic *haku "water.")

e.g., "It's gotta be like 103 in the shade." "Yeah ... I need some haku." | "Okay, let's hit the haku and lose the grime."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hal - (Rhymes with "Sal"; n.) 1. A computer which has somehow achieved, or appears to have achieved, independent thought, especially when such computer turns against its programmers, its program, or its own operation; 2. The rebellious or self-aware computer in any science-fiction or -fantasy story; 3. Any computer or heuristic device that runs a ship/base/house/school/whatever, especially if such device has a vocal interface. [from the computer in Arthur C. Clarke's _2001_, et al.]

e.g., The S.A.R.A. program in the Television comedy Eureka is a typical Hal. Fortunately she has not turned entirely against her residents ... yet.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hal - (rhymes with 'gal'; n.) 1. Any computer or other heuristic device which has, or at least appears to have, achieved sentience, especially if it is rebellious or recalcitrant in its operation; 2. Any computer or other heuristic device in charge or control of any installation, system, factory, ship, house, school, or whatever; 3. Loosely, any machine that seems to have taken a dislike to people. [After HAL, Arthur C. Clarke's "Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic Computer" in _2001: A Space Odyssey_, which controls the voyage to Saturn (in the Book) or Jupiter (in the movie), and turns (lethally) against his human controllers.]

e.g., "You know, I sometimes think this CRAY is sentient, sarcastic, and seeking my blood---it's just a hal waiting for someplace airless to suffocate me." "You know what? This laptop is pretty hallish itself."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

haladilnik - (Rhymes with call-a-DILL-pick; the Russian холодильник (kholodil\'nik) \"refrigerator\" pronounced as most English speakers would repeat it; n.) 1. A refrigerator; 2. Anywhere it is really cold: Siberia, e.g., or the Arctic (or Antarctic), or the part of a mountain above the snow line; 3. An enormous blizzard or other storm involving ice and snow (especially hail); 4.(metaphorically) \"In the doghouse\": in trouble with your significant other, who is now giving you \"the cold shoulder\"; 5.(by extension) In trouble in any group as a result of having offended someone; 6.(ironically) the Cold War of 1947--93. (adj.) 7. Frozen, cold, either literally or figuratively.

e.g., 1. What's in your haladilnik? 2. Why do they call it Greenland when it's just a big haladilnik? 3. There's a terrible haladilnik coming in from the north: do we have food and fuel for a while?, 'cause we're gonna be socked in for at least a week!. 4. "Why is Ellen being so nasty to Jack? I thought they were together." "They're fine, Jack's just hanging with the mayo in the haladilnik." 5. In_Mary Poppins_, Mr. Banks is called on the carpet by the owners of the bank: he's really in the haladilnik. 6. Remember the backyard bomb shelter craze back during the haladilnik? 7. "Wow, what a haladilnik chill in here ... don't any of you ever smile?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

halalization - Legality. "Halal" means "legal" or "approved" in Arabic. The word is also used in the Indian subcontinent (Bangladesh, Pakistan, India, etc.).

e.g., The halalization of the whole matter would largely depend on the department head.

submitted by hs

halcoholic - Short for "happy alcoholics": the best kind of drinking buddies. Those who gets happier and friendlier as they become inebriated (rather than dour or abusive, as is often the case). (ED.: Perhaps we should celebrate diabetes while we're at it?)

e.g., My halcoholic uncle George always told the best stories after the umpteenth scotch. Good, those miserable souses have left. Now we halcoholics can get on with the good times.

submitted by Chris L

half a nice day - A statement, imparted by a clerk or sales person after a sale, that is based upon the act of expressing some measure of gratitude and well-wishing to the purchaser. However, it is delivered with such a lack of enthusiasm and insultingly empty of meaning that it ruins 50% of your day.

e.g., Young male cashier handing me a grocery receipt and staring, vacuously, into space: "Half a nice day..." Me: "And you have a full night of pain and sorrow, you pimply faced twit!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko

half vast - A person's irresponsible attitude and quantitatively half-hearted effort toward a monumental task.

e.g., It was his 70th birthday. Colin sat morosely in the murky dim light in the quiet of a local bar, nursing a scotch and soda. Mentally flipping, and reflipping, through the pages of his life, looking for something to celebrate, he concluded that the huge and meaningful goals of his youth -- to become a wealthy and respected self-made man by the time he reached this birthday -- were never to be. With the potential of a whole world to conquer, he could only blame himself for a lifetime of half vast actions. There was one major achievement, though, he thought to himself with a wry smile; he sure was successful in growing old.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

half your age plus 7 standard - A term popular among college students and pre-middle-aged men. It states that it is okay to date a girl as long as she is half your age plus 7.

e.g., By the half your age plus 7 standard, if you are 22, you may date a girl who is 18 or older.

submitted by EmRobin

half-asserbic - What acerbic wit becomes when it's left to writers of Joel Stein's ilk to provide it. (Stein is a columnist for the bankrupt Los Angeles Times.) What is it that makes a non-serving, pathetic asshole weasel whelp whiner windbag wuss bigmouth backbiter blowhard provocateur pup rat backstabber defamer mud-slinger scum libeler slime like Stein think he has even the meagerest credentials to berate duty-bound and honor-driven military men and women who suffer daily hardships and sacrifice their very lives to enable the rest of us to feast at freedom's table?

My son, a bird colonel in the US Army, is a far better writer than Stein has any hope of becoming, and I'll put what he knows up against what Stein knows any day. I have absolutely no doubt that he's Stein's intellectual, ethical, and moral superior even if he has less money. I'll bet he's in better physical shape, too.

e.g., Joel Stein recently whined, "This column may not meet the high levels of quality to which I have made you accustomed. That's because I haven't been getting paid." What this pseudo-journalist doesn't seem to realize is that zero is what he's worth for his half-asserbic musings. The very last thing I expect when I run across a column written by Stein is high quality. I'm not sure which he's better at, being an asshole or being a nincompoop. Maybe he'll catch on when his column is replaced by one written by a 5£-a-thousand-words Bangalorean living in a hovel. Maybe. No wonder newspapers are going down the toilet.  
 

Gabriel Ledeen on Supporting the Troops

For Stein to advocate opposition to American soldiers while nonchalantly admitting his own lack of service is a remarkable display of arrogance -- a "wussy" thing to do, one might say. To one who comes from similar circumstances as Stein, but has chosen to serve his country, the thought of such a spineless argument provokes disgust. As noted elsewhere on the web, Theodore Roosevelt wrote an exceptional response to Joel Stein in The Atlantic in 1894.

It is proper to demand more from the man with exceptional advantages than from the man without them. A heavy moral obligation rests upon the man of means and upon the man of education to do their full duty by their country. On no class does this obligation rest more heavily than upon the men with a collegiate education, the men who are graduates of our universities. Their education gives them no right to feel the least superiority over any of their fellow-citizens. …

For educated men of weak fibre, there lies a real danger in that species of literary work which appeals to their cultivated senses because of its scholarly and pleasant tone, but which enjoins as the proper attitude to assume in public life one of mere criticism and negation; which teaches the adoption toward public men and public affairs of that sneering tone which so surely denotes a mean and small mind. …

Again, there is a certain tendency in college life … to make educated men shrink from contact with the rough people who do the world's work, and associate only with one another and with those who think as they do. This is a most dangerous tendency. &he llip;Let him learn that he must deal with the mass of men; that he must go out and stand shoulder to shoulder with his friends of every rank, and face to face with his foes of every rank, and must bear himself well in the hurly-burly. He must not be frightened by the many unpleasant features of the contest. … He will meet with checks and make many mistakes; but if he perseveres, he will achieve a measure of success and will do a measure of good such as is never possible to the refined, cultivated, intellectual men who shrink aside from the actual fray.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

half-cut - Drunk

e.g., Kelly was so half-cut the other night she hit on Jay.

submitted by Sarah - (www)

half-stepper - Somebody who doesn't quite finish her work, or tries to take a lot of shortcuts that cheapens the quaility of the work. Another term for "slacker" (actually a slang military word).

e.g., You don't want ol' Smitty there on yer team. She's a half-stepper.

submitted by Michael Rener

halfback - A Yankee that moves from NY to Florida, then moves halfway back, settling in the NC mountains.

e.g., Halfbacks have really driven up the price of real estate.

submitted by J. Guest

halfers - Splitting somehting -- most commonly food or the bill with someone else.

e.g., Do you want to go halfers on that piece of cake? Halves, halvers.

submitted by Ryan

halfords shopper - Descriptive of a bicycle any self-respecting bike geek would not be seen dead riding. From English automotive parts and cheap bicycle retail chain Halfords, which used to sell very cheap bicycles for carrying shopping. Halfords Shoppers had a hinge in the middle, usually disguised as the frame, which caused them to fail catastrophically after a few years of being left in the rain.

e.g., Nice bike, Mole. Don't see many Halfords shoppers in metallic blue these days.

submitted by Bent Udder - (www)

halfpipe - A general idiot, clueless person, homeslice.

e.g., Think you could get the halfpipe to put that box down any harder? I'm not sure he broke everything in it.

submitted by Heraldmonkey

halfrican - Half-black, half white.

e.g., "The halfrican has shut down coal industry in America without a replacement source for power, just to justify the cost of energy going through the roof for Americans. The middle class of America will take the brunt of the increase as they pay for the rising cost for the poor, like they do for obamacare."

submitted by [tymtrvlr] - (www)

halfro - An afro that covers only half the head.

e.g., Last night we shaved Michael's head, so he only has a halfro.

submitted by Brandon Ducharme

halftrack hour - One and a half hours. [ < Pol. < ptora one and a half, lit. one half of a track.]

e.g., I'll call you in a halftrack hour.

submitted by Sammers

halfway to assville - The middle of nowhere. Coined in an attempt to replace "BFE," which doesn't make any sense to me.

e.g., Joe: Where's this party? Ed: It's halfway to assville -- like 45 minutes away.

submitted by Zack Johnson - (www)

halfwitticisms - Word puns and usages that only one person finds at all amusing--namely, the person who said them.

e.g., She giggles a lot when she talks. She thinks she's so clever with all her halfwitticisms.

submitted by Geo - (www)

halitogenesis - The spontaneous generation of life in a mouth so dank with offensive odor and rotting food particles and teeth that new species erupt to try to balance the scales.

e.g., Have mercy did you hear and taste the halitogenesis in the mouth of that guy three seats behind us?

submitted by Steve Zihlavsky

hall accost - The time when, alone in a school corridor, you meet up with the gang of class bullies who have been out looking for you.

e.g., Oh, no! I'm hurrying through the hall to fifth period class and there stands the Gowarski twins and their stooges, Chico, Tojo and Ganja! And I had the stupid bad luck to laugh out loud when in the lunch room today, Peanut Burns asked the Gowarskis if their older sister isn't really a guy because of the bushy, black mustache under her nose! No one's around and it's too late to run. Jesus, Mary and Joseph -- here comes the hall accost!

submitted by Charlie Lesko

hallmark tongue - Sentimental mush spoken in an attempt to score points; romantic nonsense.

e.g., That fellow just told me my eyes were as blue as the Mediterranean Sea. Bleech! Hallmark tongue.

submitted by nitag - (www)

hallow-trific - A corny Halloween.

e.g., Yea, everyone had a hallow-trific time.

submitted by ~andrea~

halloweenaholic - One who is addicted to the Halloween holiday.

e.g., Vicky is the most complete Halloweenaholic I've run across.

submitted by Emma

halloweenist - A person who knows everything about Halloween.

e.g., He goes all out this time of year because he's a halloweenist.

submitted by Joey Page

hallucidate - To explain that the word just used is not really rude and was in fact used in valid context.

e.g., "'Hallux' is not rude at all," said Colin. "It's the medical name for the big toe," he hallucidated.

submitted by Colin Taffel

hallucigenetic - A transcendental vision experienced by countless humans over the millennia, so powerful it becomes an archetype. As a part of the collective unconscious, a hallucigenetic concept gains its own power through ritual reinforcement--becoming more than the sum of its parts and a direct causal factor in evolving consciousness.

e.g., An out-of-body experience can be defined as hallucigenetic-- the white light ideal permeates successive visions and defines the experience for latter visionaries.

submitted by Ochre Orientis

halubrious - Very funny or comedic; hilarious.

e.g., The show on Comedy Cental was really halubrious and made me laugh.

submitted by Jamie Woodruff

ham and egger - No one special. Just a regular person.

e.g., Do you know who I am? I'm no ham and egger that you can just push around.

submitted by Bud

ham sammich - Sandwich, not necessarily made with ham.

e.g., I want chunky peanut butter and grape jelly on my ham sammich.

submitted by irot - (www)

ham sammich - To be used when you see an attractive, desirable person.

e.g., Joe, look at her. Ham sammich.

submitted by Colin Eric Johnson

hamanesia - A form of forgetfulness or loss of memory of wrongdoing conveniently practiced by fanatical manics controlled by a radical, hostile, and dangerous illogical primitive ideology

e.g., Hamanesia removes all likelihood of feelings of guilt or caring or concern. If you're totally unaware of the wrong you may be doing, then you're free to harm and hurt and kill perhaps anyone designated as a suitable target for violence or cruel and evil treatment.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

hamburglar - Like "ham actor," a criminal whose blinding ineptitude and faux pas during escapades see him relating them either with Shakespearean bluff in the law courts or with ludicrous exaggeration in the saloon every Sunday afternoon.

e.g., You see before you a man who likes to play the mobster or professional con, but as we have demonstrated, he is a mere hamburglar.

submitted by Lisa Scullard

hamelaphone - Based on the word "phonics" and mixed with the Arabic word for "more then one," "hamelle." The 22nd Vice President, Mike Wagner, was noted for using this word to show affection for people who pluralize almost everything.

e.g., Bob says, "Oh, I's loves that goods stuffs!" VP Wagner says, "Hamelaphone."

submitted by trevor A

hamlet - Boring.

e.g., This party is hamlet; there's nothing to do.

submitted by Annierose - (www)

hammer - Used in certain pockets of the stand-up comedy subculture. Can refer to a comic or joke that is particularly good or clever. The highest praise one can provide to or about a comic.

e.g., "Bill Hicks was the all-time hammer. Nobody is even close to that guy." OR "That joke of yours about Herman Melville and Melrose Place is a hammer."

submitted by Phalange Necklace - (www)

hammer - Ham or another type of meat?

e.g., Would you like hammer turkey?

submitted by Phil

hammer of the gods - The TV remote control. Also just "the hammer."

e.g., Pass me the hammer. I wanta' watch somethin' else.

submitted by robert chacko

hammer-lane - The passing lane on a multi-lane highway.

e.g., We've got 8 minutes until the movie starts. Move it into the hammer-lane.

submitted by Jesse

hammer-lane barnacle - A person or vehicle that cruises in the passing lane, without actually passing anybody.

e.g., Sorry I'm late, I got stuck behind a hammer-lane barnacle all the way from the airport.

submitted by Jesse

hammercane - To smash something with tremendous force.

e.g., The car hammercaned into the oncoming truck, exploding in a ball of flame.

submitted by Steve J Hanning

hammerdin - A paladin who particularly uses oncentration combined with the holy hammers skill.

e.g., Jest_Not is a paladin, albeit a weak one. He was once a hammerdin.

submitted by David L

hammerific - An adjective to be used when the word "terrific" is just not strong enough.

e.g., Tobey Maguire's performance in Spider Man was hammerific.

submitted by Angela Montgrand

hamper ionization - The unearthly mechanism by which clothes become "clean" the longer they spend in one's hamper

e.g., Mark pulled his favorite baseball shirt from the hamper and sniffed at it. Deciding it was "clean" he pulled it on over his head and went on his way. That's the power of Hamper Ionization.

submitted by Matt - (www)

hamscram - Kind of like an omelet, but more like a pile of scrambled eggs and ham and cheese. Used to accompany a glass of liquid sunshine when you need to cure a hangover.

e.g., After Jeremy got his glass of liquid sushine, he went to the cook and ordered a hamscram to cure his hangover.

submitted by aaron

hamshalmed - Extremely intoxicated. Sometimes "hamslammed."

e.g., Mom and Mom really aren't setting a good example for us. They get hamshalmed every weekend.

submitted by Jessie

hamster cage - Alternate term for "glove compartment." It refers to the imagined belief that the automobile is powered by small rodents running furiously on exercise wheels accessible through the portal in front of the passenger seat.

e.g., Darling, can you reach into the hamster cage and grab my toothbrush?

submitted by Patrick

hamsterdang - A mild oath, usually involving animals.

e.g., Hamsterdang, why didn't someone tell me that these things bite!?

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

hamsteriac - Hamster maniac--someone with an inordinate interest in hamsters.

e.g., The hamsteriac couldn't resist and ended up buying a dozen more hamsters. Now he has about 300.

submitted by ltj_newt

hamwich - A sandwich of the ham kind.

e.g., Mum, can I have a hamwich' for lunch?

submitted by Angela Sturdy

han - Used when someone has gone off by herself, either a loner or she just likes going solo--like Han Solo.

e.g., I went into town han yesterday. It was pretty boring.

submitted by kalista

hand - Used to describe the lower peninsula of Michigan. Often while using one's right hand to demonstrate.

e.g., Mt. Pleasent is right in the middle of the hand.

submitted by Steve

hand jester - Clown for hearing-impaired royalty. From misspelling of "gesture."



e.g., Bring on the hand jesters.

submitted by Miss Speller

hand me up - Passing on of used clothing items in an upward fashion as from son to father

e.g., I refuse to wear this hand me up.

submitted by richard

hand printing - When writing, unconsciously switching between printing and cursive handwriting, often in the middle of a word.

e.g., How can you read this? What is it, hand printing? At least you don't use capital letters randomly in the middle of words the way Joe does.

submitted by Flame Midnight

hand salsa - Sweat on mice and joysticks, produced by gaming.

e.g., Ugh, he got hand salsa all over my mouse from too much Quakeing.

submitted by jeff

hand-me-up - "The term hand-me-up appeared in several UK newspapers this past week as the result of some research by the online retailer Pixmania. Its an obvious play on hand-me-down, which is known from the early nineteenth century, but Id no previous memory of it and was surprised to find that its been around for decades. In the current sense, an early example appeared in BusinessWeek of July 1998: 'And more and more older users are joining the throng as PC prices fall and adult children give hand-me-up computers to mom and dad.' The recent usages relate to mobile phones which young people consider outdated but which parents and older relatives, less concerned with fashion, find useful. The term can be traced back still further, to 1986, in the related sense of people passing on items of clothing to older relatives."

e.g., Just received a package in the mail: a hand-me-up phone my son sent me. Unfortunately, the $100+ shirt that was returned got lost by the USPS. Their handlers of mishandled mail sent a container of butane fuel instead. Who knew butane could be sent by mail? That's what my grandmother used to heat her house back in the 1940s and 1950s.

submitted by HD Fowler | Michael Quinion - (www)

handbag - Very effeminate man. Probably intended to be an insult.

e.g., A. Do you think Chris is gay? B. Are you kidding? He's definitely a handbag.

submitted by Ivo

handicrap - A person who has an incredibly minor handicap that she chooses to exploit to the fullest extent. | A worthless handicap given to someone who's bad at playing games.

e.g., All you lost was the second half of your pinky toe. Now you're parking in handicap spaces. You demand to go to the front of every line. You're one handicrapped guy, ya know that, Chris? | "Since it's your first time playing golf, we'll give you one free swing at each hole." "Thanks for the handicrap."

submitted by Bob Boarker

handicrapped - For the only empty slot in the entire parking lot, reserved for the handicapped.

e.g., Look, there's an open space. Arggh, it's handicrapped.

submitted by david

handiparking - What an able-bodied person who knowingly parks in a handicap parking space solely for the purpose of making it more convenient and handy for herself does.

e.g., Any able-bodied person that gets caught handiparking will surely get a ticket. If you park in a handicap parking space without any sort of proof of disability, you are considered to be handiparking.

submitted by Robert M. Hensel - (www)

handkersniff - Hanky not for blowing nose, but light duty daubing at tears or runny nose.

e.g., It's quite all right to break out the handkersniff at a funeral, wouldn't you say.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

handle - A 1.75 liter bottle of alcohol, typically of bourbon or whisky. Originates from the handle found on some of these bottles.

e.g., David, Brian, and Andy tried to drink a handle of Jim Beam.

submitted by Andy Goss - (www)

handleable - Easily able to handle, deal with.

e.g., This extreme situation is handleable. So it makes me wonder why we call it "extreme."

submitted by Matthew

handmelon - Proper word for American football, as it is played more with hands than feet and the "ball" is melon-shaped, instead of being of proper spherical shape balls should be. (ED. Is it correct to say that the proper shape of balls is spherical? After all, more than six billion balls that belong to human males are ellipsoidal, not spherical. Huh? Cannonballs are elipsoids?)

e.g., Handmelon is a sport popular only in the United States.

submitted by Stefu - (www)

handsfree - small woman's bag with long strap, ussually hung on the shoulder

e.g., Look! Fake gucci handsfrees, five bucks each. That's perfect for night clubbing.

submitted by elenko - (www)

handsomely equate - As pretty as you.

e.g., Soooo . . . yeah . . . you're pretty pretty . . .but no doubt I'm handsomely equate.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

handy - Used in Germany for "cell phone." Many people think this is the English word for the German word.

e.g., Can you give me your handy number? I'll give you mine.

submitted by diana

handy job - A job where you sit around all the time ready to wipe somebody's nose with a handkerchief or tissue for somebody what can't do it herself.

e.g., The handy job that I do is very fulfilling, tho sometimes I feel wiped out.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

handy work - Handiwork: 1. Work performed by hand. 2. The product of a person's efforts and actions. | A work produced by hand labor

e.g., "These lowlifes have been rioting since the 60's. Pelosi's daddy and brother were mayors in that declining city and you can see their handy work to this day."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

hangabur - My two-year-old's version of "hamburger."

e.g., He is now 24 and we still have hangaburs and fries.

submitted by Jim Ensor

hangerdoodle - The cheese that extends from the slice or bite of pizza to the rest of the pizza.

e.g., The hangerdoodle on Alec's pizza stretched until it was hair thin.

submitted by Del DeWall

hanghead - What a person does with her head after someone has said something very confusing.

e.g., John said something about atoms that made me hanghead.

submitted by Farah

hangicher - Lincolnshire dialect for "handkerchief."

e.g., Ya want ta git that hangicher weshed one on these days--it's fair lost wi' muck.

submitted by The Great Rangdoor

hangnloose - Just hanging around.

e.g., My friends and I went down to the beach and were just hangnloose.

submitted by Debbie Smith

hango - An exciting, thrilling, flavorful experience.

e.g., I thought Jenne's party Friday night was hango? Were you invited? I didn't see you there.

submitted by Jenne - (www)

hangry - The state of anger and blind frustration experienced during prolonged periods of hunger. | A fierce stomach-wrenching pain accompanied by temporary madness, felt especially when one is hungry.

e.g., Don't get too close to Jason, he hasn't eaten and is very hangry. | Based on scientific studies, loss of concentration is usually manifested when an individual is hangry.

submitted by Jason Ruby | Emeniano A. Somoza, Jr. - (www)

hangunder - 1. The opposite of a hangover, caused by going too long without consuming excessive amounts of alcohol. 2. Any unpleasant feeling due to accidentally becoming sober. Symptoms may include headache, raging thirst, dryness of the mouth, and a subconscious tendency to drift toward the nearest bar.

e.g., Let's go, it's already cocktail hour and I've got the mother of all hangunders here.

submitted by Ungentlemanly Conduct - (www)

hanitizer - (n.) hand sanitizer. [coined by the kindergarten kids at my wife's school.]

e.g., If the government really wants to be helpful, it should supply every household with a thing of hanitizer every month of flu season.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hankelujah - A combination of hank, as in a "hank of yarn" and "hallelujah." A joyful exultation uttered by knitters in enthusiasm over expansive gains made to their personal yarn stash.

e.g., Wow, Maggie, you just added 50 balls of Kroy sock yarn to your stash? Hankelujah.

submitted by Dylon Whyte - (www)

hankersniff - A small square cloth not intended for blowing the nose, but merely for dabbing at the eyes or brow or dainty nose as required.

e.g., Every once in while at the movies my softhearted mother will whip out the hankersniff to catch the tears as they fall.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

hanky - Very ugly, in a slutty sort of way.

e.g., He told me she was hot, but she turned out to be way too hanky for me.

submitted by Chris S.

hanna - Alternative word for yes.

e.g., That was really stupid. Hanna or no?

submitted by michelle

hanna-barberian - Any especially obsessed fan of the cartoons produced by the Hanna-Barbera animation studio, for years THE pre-eminent source of Saturday-morning TV animation (as in the likes of such characters as Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, Fred Flintstone, George Jetson, Scooby-Doo. . . .)

e.g., Is he a Hanna-Barberian, or what? | Just how Hanna-Barberian can you get?

submitted by Larry Ellis Reed - (www)

hannamas - Hannukah and Christmas.

e.g., My wife (non-Jewish) and I (Jewish) celebrate Hannamas during the December holiday season.

submitted by Leon Chusid

hanniblitz - (Rhymes with FAN-ih-bits; v.) 1. To attack with elephant cavalry; 2. To attack with overwhelming weaponage (q.v.); 3. To attack from an unexpected position (unexpected because there is simply "no way" for you to have occupied the position from which you are attacking). [From Hannibal, the Carthaginian general who managed to cross the Alps north of Italy, with a troop of elephants, no less, so as to attack Rome.]

e.g., "Good work, men! They're in full retrea .... holy crap! Who's that behind us?" "The enemy, Captain, they've flanked us. That retreat must be nothing but a diversion." "About face, everybody! It's a Hanniblitz!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

hanolulujah - Said when you praise God in Hawaii.

e.g., Dude! I can't believe that I shot the curl on that massive wave, and survived! Hanolulujah!

submitted by Joe Kreiter - (www)

hansels & gretels - Virtual breadcrumbs. Helpful when you start wandering aimlessly on the internet. VHGs.

e.g., You're going to need some hansels & gretels if you're following me around and we get separated. Otherwise, you'll never find your way back from my walkabouts. I don't need to. I'm a lonely frog, ain't got a home.

submitted by froggy - (www)

hant - A human ant; term can also refer to the have not humans, considered an insignificant life form by some. Increasing world population has made human life numerous and cheap. Individual efforts are rarely noticed and are soon forgotten; thus, a lot of humans are becoming more and more expendable. | A ghost (haunt). This a real word, used in the Appalachians and the deep South.

e.g., Coming back from the superstore he saw over 100 hants going through the local dump. | I whistle as I go past the cemetery for fear of hants.

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler - (www)

hanx - "Thanks" in Northern Irish. | Name of an album by Stiff Little Fingers.

e.g., Hanx very much for the lend of the Bonzo Dog Band album.

submitted by anthony

hany - Pronounced, as in "Nanny." As a shorter and easier way to scream out "Happy New Year."

e.g., . . . . Bored yet?

"First day back-itis" hit hard?

Holiday gone wooosh and just a faint memory? Still, a few reminders linger. Like, 250 e-mails to enlarge your penis -- you must have been away long. The unfamiliar chaffing of the collar and tie and feet squeezed back into work shoes.

Then of course there is the ritual of saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! To colleagues and most importantly customers. They expect it after all. It's polite. So like good little foot soldiers we smile our way through a multitude of Happy New Years. Until it rings in our ears and the smiles are somehow less happy and somewhat less new by the 2nd week back.

By the 3rd week back, it's almost getting to "thumping" time to still be enduring Happy NEW Years. Mainly because the person saying it to you has probably had a longer holiday than you. And frankly dealing with the Smoogle account whilst Mr Holiday was away and "uncontactable" in the wilds of Palm Beach meant that perhaps it wasn't quite the happiest of new years for you as he might think! But yes, Happy New Year, you hear yourself say through gritted teeth -- now, "about Smoogle." . . .

But I am being a bit mean spirited aren't I? I mean, there are some people who you genuinely do wish a Happy New Year to. Or even strangers in the heat of New Years Eve exuberance at the stroke of midnight. The problem is, you don't always get the opportunity to, which is really at the point of this discussion.

The opening paragraph simply takes too long to say. [[ED. It was too long to repeat, too, especially having as it did dozens and dozens of capital letters. We're frequently shiftless here.]] Try it if you don't believe me, (and don't cheat -- each word should be audible). It's a mouthful and a tongue twister. Even "Merry Christmas" is slightly easier to say.

Say you are walking down the street as I was on New Year's Eve, and someone is walking towards you. She blurts out Happy New Year -- by the time you stammer a response she has passed. It just doesn't work. It takes too much time and effort to say. And then you have to tack on a smile at the end of it, as the word "Year" doesn't really finish with the mouth in the right shape. Except open that is.

But I am not one just to heckle. So my solution is in the fine Australian tradition of abbreviation and to create a unique colloquialism: Happy New Year simply becomes HANY! (as in "nanny"). Try it now out loud. HANY! There you go, that was much easier wasn't it? Quicker, easier, slips off the tongue. More versatile too:

Start with the traditional "HANY" yelled out loud at the stroke of midnight.
Or post new year more of pleasantly surprised HANY, as in "Wow. Hi, it's been ages since we met!"
Lets not forget the blokes -- a more guttural HANY, as in "Maaaaatee, how the hell are ya?"
Not to be confused with the farmers short "HANY" -- "Yup, that's all I have to say before I swallow another blowie." (Actually, some linguists would say that the fly-in-mouth syndrome is the origin of many an Australian shortened word.)
Finally, to resolve the earlier problem in particular, there is the short and neutrally toned business, "HANY, Jim -- now I've done the polite bit, let's talk about the stuff ups whilst you were on holiday."

Now I (and wife) can't take all the credit for the word "HANY." In truth, in Hungary the say "BUEK!!" as it is infinitely more palatable after a few drinks than "Boldog Uj Ev-napot Kivanok!" But, dear reader, at least in English we can claim this abbreviation as uniquely our own. As Australian as G'day. So be proud and say it loud to all who insist in saying Happy New Year to you. A simple HANY in reply and move on with your day.

submitted by Colin Prasad

hanyak - Refers to people who do not use common sense, are insensitive to others and their environment, and are generally just stupid about what they're doing and their impact on others

e.g., Did you see that hanyak cut across three lanes to make the light? OR That hanyak just butted way in front of the line we're in.

submitted by Susan

haphazardous - Random. 1. haphazards 2. haphazardries 3. haphazardly 4. haphazard 5. haphazardry

e.g., I think I'll just show up at a few New Year's Eve parties--haphazardously.

submitted by karleigh

haphrotrapic - Spreading; expanding; diffusing.

e.g., James' breath was haphrotrapic in the cold air.

submitted by Fitch - (www)

hapland - 1. Any place which causes you to relive happy, nastalgic memories. 2. Any place which, for reasons not understood, causes happy feelings. 3. A place in which many events occur. Literally -- land of happening or happy land.

e.g., Disneyland is widely regarded to be a world-class hapland.

submitted by Michael - (www)

happening - To describe something very favorably.

e.g., Oh, yeah! That party was happening.

submitted by jeff smallwood - (www)

happening - The collective noun for a group of hippies.

e.g., Floyd was surprised when he encountered a happening of hippies in the park after all these years.

submitted by Rob Bowen - (www)

happicle - happicle, n. (happy + diminutive suffix icle, like in "particle," "icicle") - a particle of happiness, the smallest unit of happiness; a single happy occurrence or a momentary feeling of happiness..

e.g., Happicles make life worth of living, even in the absence of stable happiness. | There is no happiness in this world, but there are happicles. Sometimes we can catch them, fleeting and unpredictable as they are. | Like photons, happicles have zero mass at rest -- the inertial mass that we identify with happiness. Happicles just flash and go out in passing. They may be as transitory as a fragrance in the air, or a yellow falling leaf, or a glance of a passerby on the street.

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

happifying - To make happy; pleasing.

e.g., Thinking of my upcoming vacation is very happifying.

submitted by Grace

happlomac - A person with such infectious happiness that everyone else around her becomes happy nearly instantaneously.

e.g., Jerrie was the happlomac of the party with her hilarious suggestions on where to place the punch bowl.

submitted by Jared Brown - (www)

happy accident - An accident or pseudoaccident which results in both a good and a bad thing happening.

e.g., We were all relieved and dismayed by the happy accident granny made when she dropped Aunt Ebola's "Crustacean-Brussel Sprout Casserole" in the pretty corningware dish.

submitted by The Berkinator

happy barfday - A birthday which the person celebrating it is sick

e.g., Emily:How was happy barfday? Oliver:It was a happy barfday; it was the worst birthday I had.

submitted by Ian Faynik

happy birthday, a - A phrase mostly used by guys when they catch themselves in a situation when a girl exposes some part of her anatomy without knowing it, clothed or not. Usually happens at the gym.

e.g., Did you see that girl's shirt? Now that is a happy birthday.

submitted by Arik9

happy bunny - Mostly used in the negative, is used to describe a contented person. UK slang, origin unknown.

e.g., He wasn't a very happy bunny when he lost his job.

submitted by Chris Andrews

happy camper - Used to describe someone who is extremely happy, or extremely unhappy when preceded by "not a."

e.g., Ed: What happened when your dad found out you totalled his car? Chris: He was NOT a happy camper.

submitted by Carlos Coutinho

happy day - A sarcastic, dismissive remark that suggests everything will be all right.

e.g., So we'll get everything back to normal after this. Happy day.

submitted by Callie

happy murders day - In the future when humans are less uptight and more understanding about the subject of death, and compassionate euthanasia is commonly accepted and practiced, you may go to any card shop to buy and send someone a nice "Happy Murders Day" card to help send someone on their way. A big goodbye party is always a lot of fun, too..!

e.g., In spite of having received a great many Happy Murders Day cards and a really fun Murders Day party, I changed my mind at the last moment just so I could attend final tennis playoffs on the moon. That was my last wish.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

happy place - A place one travels to mentally to escape, where time does not exist, where one goes when spaced out.

e.g., Sorry, what were you talking about? I was in my happy place.

submitted by Jen

happy talk - Talk that brings only smiles, whether of past, present, or future.

e.g., I'm going to try to make sure at our reunion that no one hears anything from me face-to-face other than happy talk. They've all heard more than enough from me about aches and pains already.

Let's face it, we are getting old -- and unpleasant things tend to happen more often when we're old than when we're young. Incidentally, I'm not going to the reunion to relive old memories. I'm going to create new ones.

submitted by HD Fowler

hapticade - [Rhymes with MAP-tick-made; n.] 1.a. The practice of physical contact with orphaned or rescued animals in order to bond with or comfort them; 1.b. an instance of this activity. 2. The application of this same practice to orphaned or abandoned children, without which orphaned infants often suffer from failure to thrive; 3. comfort through physical contact; 4. a hug, or a session of hugging. [From the Greek άπτικ- haptic "of or pertaining to touch" + cade, a term referring to abandoned animal young raised by hand.]

e.g., After lunch, the prisoners have two hours for hapticade with the animals---it actually helps both. | What the orphans need is hapticade. What most people need is hapticade.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

har'ye - "How are you"--as used by the original citizens of London to confuse non-English tourists.

e.g., Londoner: Har'ye? Tourist: Sorry? Londoner: Har'ye? Tourist: Sorry? Londoner: Har'ye? (and so on)

submitted by Sophia

harangle - To annoy someone excessively; also to experience anywhere from minor to excessive annoyance at the hands of an exasperating idiot or irksome situation (to be harangled); a term meaning annoyance or personal harassment (haranglement)

e.g., The first period student harangled the substitute teacher by saying "This is just a blowoff class." What the student failed to recognise was that the substitute teacher viewed his job as substitue TEACHING, not being the substitute butt of students' jokes.

submitted by Kristie

harbinder - 1. A player who bends the bars on a foosball table. 2. An individual who unsuccessfully uses powder or scent to mask body odor.

e.g., 1. Knock it off, harbinder -- you're going to break the table. 2. That harbinder smells terrible.

submitted by Parodi

harbon - A large tree or a tall, round object.

e.g., The harbon rose above the town.

submitted by Lukas Friga

harbor - (also harbour; n.) a group or collection of grudges. Also "grudge harbor": the place in the human mind where we keep grudges.

e.g., "What's the matter with him?" "He was really dissed at his high school graduation by our 'guest of honor.'" "His high school graduation?! But that must have been, what, 30 years ago!" "Forty-five, actually, but he holds on to grudges." "He does?" "Oh, yeah, he has a whole harbor full of them."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

harborne - Depressed, in a state of mourning after having been dumped by a girlfriend for someone else.

e.g., He was harborne after being dumped by Tiffany.

submitted by Andy B - (www)

harbourdashery - Used by extremly rich people when talking about their latest aquatic purchase.

e.g., We sent our personal shopper to the harbourdashery on Wednesday, and he picked up a splendid yacht for us.

submitted by Leemodio

hard - A derivation of hardcore. To be very good, cool, or tough.

e.g., I drink tap water cuz I am hard. | I promise you, you are not hard. . . . You listen to Coldplay. | The new Streets CD is hard.

submitted by Leggett

hard copy spam - Junk mail sent via "snail mail."

e.g., I accidentally threw out three checks because I had so much hard copy spam in my mail box. Everything looked the same.

submitted by mallard

hard randy - When you are majorly turned on/horny from what someone else does to you, but it won't get any worse no matter what they do -- you'll just stay very horny and never get off, or it will take a very long time. It's usually rather frustrating and it happens to me most of the time.

e.g., Boyfriend: How's that for you? Me: Dang -- that really makes me hard randy. I wish it would get me off.

submitted by Rainbow Woman

hard road - A state or US paved road.

e.g., You will go past the hard road before you get to his house. He lives on the hard road just out of town.

submitted by Herb Tauscher

hard surgery - I saw it, live, on television just a few months ago. A man's certain body part was rescued from fat concealing it to make it possible at last to consummate his marriage -- after healing, that is.

e.g., Sometimes when couples can't connect, hard surgery will do the trick.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

hardache - The yearning one feels for a fondly-remembered lover. Originally a male-specific term but can be employed metaphorically across the sexes.

e.g., Dan's hardache only increased every time he saw Sharon at parties on the arm of her new boyfriend.

submitted by Sean Williams - (www)

hardass - A rebel.

e.g., You're a real hardass for skipping school, Chris. Sure you are.

submitted by chad nelson

hardcore - "Cool" or liable to hurt you. 2. For a person into something more than everyone else, usually in a "tough" sense. 3. Referring to music of the "hardcore" genre, like AFI or Grade (an offshoot of punk -- more musically inclined, emotional and scarier).

e.g., 1. Wow, that's hardcore. 2. Mohawk, bondage straps . . . he's hardcore. 3. I saw this new hardcore band and got flattened in the pit.

submitted by Kyla

hardcore - Used to describe someone as being part of a notorious group of friends.

e.g., Q: Who's that? A: It's OK, that's Jim. He's hardcore.

submitted by Derk

hardend - At the other end of town from the soft end where life is easy. Suggested by a comment to the linked article.

e.g., "This woman needs to be locked up in a real jail with no preferential treatment, and more than that needs to be put in with all the real hardend criminals so she is scared to sleep at night. That's the only way she will start to think about her actions."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

hardening - Used to describe the resulting condition of a worker when his boss gives him too much work to do. The body just stiffens into a rigor mortis state and the worker becomes unable to function. From a "Dilbert" cartoon by Scott Adams.

e.g., B. Isok, I have another project for you. [Isok then stiffens like a board, arms spread wide.] B. Isok, are you hardening?

submitted by Stephen

hardgall - Rather than Hardball, Chris Matthews' show should be called Hardgall. Only someone with a tremendous amount of gall and an overblown opinion of himself would shout over and walk over guests the way Chris Matthews does.

e.g., "Quick, change the channel. Hardgall's coming on." "What were you doing tuned to MSNBC in the first place?"

submitted by HD Fowler

hardge - Bigger than large or huge.

e.g., It was a hardge lake.

submitted by Deloris

hardrock ball - What we called a baseball when growing up in the 1960s south.

e.g., Let's go catch some hardrock.

submitted by Dave Freeman

hardschool - Combination of hardcore and old school (oldschool). Especially used to describe games or friends.

e.g., These video games are hardschool.

submitted by Bjarkkn

hardxcore - Very cool, unheard-of, and "badass." Used by "scene kids" or "scenesters" -- used mostly to describe a person, an action, a certain type of music or song, or a personal belonging.

e.g., Wow, your new pants are sooo hardxcore, Marianne.

submitted by miranda

hargully - A variation of "hardly."

e.g., I hargully believe that there are little green men in my nose.

submitted by Mandi - (www)

harley quinns - A specific group of Irish bikers.

e.g., The red-headed person seated on a hog and dressed for the road in a clown outfit didn't have to say a word. Everyone just knew that he was a Harley Quinn.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

harmancipation - Freedom to sing at will.

e.g., Joel felt happy that, finally,harmancipation was being acted upon .

submitted by johnnycheapie

harmanisariansezokiqua - Belief in the harmony of mankind, wanitng only peace of all the planet's peoples.

e.g., He had a very harmanisariansezokiquan nature -- as we found out soon enough -- that is, when his speech that attempted to tell us how to achieve world peace droned into its third hour.

submitted by Katherine

harmaphonic - Mixture between harmony and homophonic.

e.g., The harmaphonic sound was really well presented by the group.

submitted by Chris

harmory - A collection of tools, implements, or weapons that can potentially inflict grievous damage on unaware individuals.

e.g., Wise up, grandpa! Better get that harmory of kitchen knives out of that convenient rack on the edge of the counter before your four-year-old grandson comes to visit!

submitted by Charlie Lesko

harnass - Particularly uncomfortable belt that causes your pants to ride up resulting in a wedge and unfriendly behavior.

e.g., Too bad Jenny wore the sequined harnass and was nasty to Andrea all night.

submitted by Jenny & Andrea

harpaxoplutocracy - Government of the robber barons, by the robber barons, and for the robber barons. [Greek "harpax," robber + "plutocracy," governement by the wealthy]

e.g., Abraham Lincoln should have been careful what he wished for. Democracy hasn't perished from this earth, but ours has deteriorated into a harpaxoplutocracy.

submitted by Dr. Dan Muldoon

harpic - The actual brand name of a toilet cleanser -- used to describe someone "clean around the bend."

e.g., "Cheryl, how was your blind date last night?" "He was weird -- harpic, in fact." "Ah, another Chris, eh?" "Yeppers.'

submitted by Terry

harpoontang - Used when Harpo Marx got "lucky." | Used when a sailor on a whaling vessel gets "lucky."

e.g., Because Harpo Marx wouldn't speak when in character, when he got harpoontang, he would simply toot on his horn. | When sailors from a whaling vessel pull into port, they're usually anticipating some long-awaited harpoontang.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

harridan - "A decayed strumpet."

e.g., You'll hardly be surprised to learn my opinion of women politicians: Many, if not most, are harridans.

submitted by [Samuel Johnson] - (www)

harrised - To be completed and utterly messed up by stupidity or incompetence.

e.g., Whats wrong with this server? Its been harrised.

submitted by simonv

harry mason - Someone who rushes into an activity without pausing to consider any potential risks or dangers involved. Taken from the video game Silent Hill.

e.g., The guy that jumped off the roof into the pool last night was a Harry Mason.

submitted by Juice Maloose

harryass - Harass, harry. Should be a suitable alternative spelling for harass given that harass and harry are related. Harrass. Is it possible, just possible that Harry S Truman's parents had a sense of humor that they showed by giving him the middle name S? The S is not an initial. You've of course heard the expression "doesn't have a hair on his ass" used to refer to a wimp. Harry S ~ hairyass. Harry S Truman was definitely not a wimp. The (expensive) Thesaurus of Traditional English Metaphors associates "doesn't have a hair on his ass" with the United States military as "lack of courage, especially when dared." TTEM has this for hairy-arsed: "Of older soldiers and sailors disillusioned and with rough and ready competence born of hard experience; often, simply older and more mature.

e.g., Get your butt off my property and stop harryassing me, you jerk. | So? Sure, Chris shaves his legs and wears nail polish. But Jack doesn't have any business harryassing him by calling him a limp-wristed, leg-shaving sissy and saying he doesn't have a hair on his ass. What business is it of Jack's? . . . and how would Jack know whether or not Chris shaves his ass? Noseybeak minds want to know. . . . Oh, Chris is a she and not a he. I didn't realize that.

submitted by HD Fowler

harrynash - To be harrynashed (~harrassed) is to receive an ISP-generated e-mail that tells you an e-mail you sent could not be delivered. However, it's not an e-mail you sent at all. A spammer somehow obtained your e-mail address and forged it. (The originating e-mail could also have been sent by software surreptitiously sneakily downloaded and executed on your computer. Perhaps using your address book.) Harrygnash.

We protect e-mail addresses at pseudodictionary.com so they can't be scraped. What that means is that a spammer will not get your e-mail address here. The e-mails in the example can't be obtained easily by robots because they have been obfuscated by spam-me-not.

e.g., If you get any hits when you google your e-mail address, you're likely to be harrynashed eventally. | Keeping your e-mail address off web pages will reduce the probability of harrynashing, but is unlikely to eliminate it. | I think I'm going to start using an image of my e-mail address to reduce harrynashing. | Dammit. Now somebody's caused me to get harrynashed by using a pseudodictionary e-mail address. Only one address on the site that's not obscured and some creep found and used it.

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submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

harrypotteresque - Magical. This is an obviously wide-meaning word . Can be applied to childish or adult stuff, real or imaginary things, but it should generally have a magical sense, I think.

e.g., She gave a harrypotteresque performance; she cooked a harrypotteresque meal; we spent a harrypotteresque holiday, night, time, etc.

submitted by vale

harsh - Extrememly cool

e.g., That movie was harsh.

submitted by alissa

harsh swallow - Indication of canine fear.

e.g., The dogs walked past the mean bulldozer and let off a harsh swallow.

submitted by treestain

hartlefy - To execute an animal in the mistaken belief that it is a foreign spy.

e.g., What! They Hartlefied all the monkeys?

submitted by Adam Leslie

hartlepolarise - To render something a farce. Comes from Hartlepool, England, where the people once mistook a monkey for a Frenchman.

e.g., Don't bring John, he'll Hartlepolarise the whole trip.

submitted by Adam Leslie

harumpf - A sign of disgust or impatience.

e.g., When waiting for a download or for voice-mail to go through its eternal loop, a sigh could be seen as a harumpf.

submitted by Steve

harvey - A personification of harmony (attributed to The Mamas & The Papas.); a condition of happiness in feeling or action; pleasant to the eye or atmosphere; cool.

e.g., N. Once the Mamas & Papas got their singing harmonies right, Harvey had arrived. Adj. This restaurant is harvey. Adj. That's a harvey blouse.

submitted by mike misto

harvey milch of gagnesia - Originally derived from a bovine named Harvey, this product eliminates the natural "gag reflex," making it easier to wear false teeth, swallow bitter pills, eat stuff you normally hate but is good for you, and relaxes throat muscles for certain medical procedures.

e.g., If your problem is an unwanted gag reflex, the new and improved Harvey milch of gagnesia, should do the trick.. Also try WipeOut milch of amnesia -- helps you forget who you are, any problems or situations, and pesky memories and emotions from the past.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

has - From the acronym HAS, for High Amplitude Sucking. This is a term from (pre-verbal) child language development research. In street context, it is used to describe something that really sucks.

e.g., That is so has, Ginny.

submitted by Ron A. Zajac

hasbian - A lesbian who starts dating men.

e.g., Q. Why is Lauren kissing Josh? I thought she was a lesbian. A. No, she's now a hasbian.

submitted by Lauren

hasselfactor - Allowance made in any form of planning for the unexpected appearance of either David Hasselhof or one of his media products, be it some cheesy TV show about half-naked people or dreadful music. | Amusement taken from looking at the naked torso of an aging gent who has had bicep implants, but still has a sagging chest.

e.g., Bert: Let's go to the beach. I reckon we could make it there in less than twenty minutes. Ernie: Don't forget to add on an hour for the hasselfactor of finding a parking space in amongst those fancy sports cars, artfully aged veedub busses, and big red lifesaver trucks.

submitted by Bent Udder - (www)

hasselhoff - To hold in one's stomach when shirtless to appear less fat than you actually are, just as David Hasselhoff does on Baywatch. | A big gut.

e.g., Look at that guy, trying to look in good shape but he's just Hasselhoffing. | Look at the Hasselhoff on that guy.

submitted by Kilar

hasslescoffed - To scoff (or devour with earnest) anything laid in front of you, usually associated with also being in a state of rambling pre-unconscious inebriation -- i.e., damn-where-are-my-pants drunk. In colloquial usage as a result of one famous person's (David Hasslehoff's) public quiet time with a hamburger off his face.

e.g., I'm so hungry I could Hasslescoff that entire buffet bar. | Man, I was so drunk last night I think I hasslescoffed my TV remote.

submitted by Elamberdor

hastert - A woman who has so much pent up rage, anger, and sexual frustration she goes into denial about her life.

e.g., Ryan: You know Katie? Eric: Yeah, she's a Hastert. One day she says she loves me, the next day she says, "I never said that! Shut up, idiot!"

submitted by Owned.

hat hair - What your hair looks like when you take off your hat.

e.g., You got hat hair, Billy. Wanna borrow my comb?

submitted by D2

hat remedy, the - Wearing a tinfoil hat (such as the one director M. Night Shyamalan had the alien-fearing Merrill Hess (Joaquin Phoenix) wear in Signs) to ward off waves from radio frequency interference devices (RFIDs).

e.g., Little did I realize that I know someone who might actually be trying the hat remedy to see if it helps relieve her torment.

submitted by HD Fowler

hatched job - A bungled hatchet job. Also, an unhatched job.

e.g., The Deputy Chief Minority Whip is responsible for that particular hatched job.

submitted by Miss Speller

hatchin' jacket - Maternity dress.

e.g., That's a great hatchin' jacket for your second trimester.

submitted by John Upchurch

hate on - Hate, but with an unnecessary word … added. While I'm at it -- calling someone a "hater" because she expresses her disagreement or dislike of others or others' comments, politics, and positions sounds like a small child's whining. "Mommy, would you spank Jimmy? His face hit my hand."

e.g., "Sky, as a matter of fact I don't consider Charlie and the Chocolate Factory a remake either, and I left my nostalgia of the Gene Wilder movie at the door when I saw Burton's version. I dig them both now (although a lot of people love to hate on the new version)." | Don't hate on Fitty Cent.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

hate trait - This word means that you hate sombody, basically.

e.g., Kerem: Want me to tell Liz that you don't wanna go out with her any more ? Sam: Yeah, tell her bout my hate trait.

submitted by Sammmy

hater - One who dislikes the actions and/or beliefs of another.

e.g., "Don't be a hater."

submitted by Sin - (www)

hathos - the taking of pleasure or joy in despising something.

e.g., That Styx concert footage was pure hathos.

submitted by Michael Kentoff - (www)

hating on - Something along the lines of "hates" or "treating with hate," I suppose. This sounds like something a three-year-old who doesn't yet know the fundamentals of English language constructs would come up with.

e.g., "So, then you agree that Munro is simply hating on Obama because hes black?"

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

hatstanding - Just standing round at a party doing nothing, acting like a hatstand.

e.g., Stop hatstanding. There's a really great spread of food over there.

submitted by The Weirdo

hatt - Extremely good looking.

e.g., That chick was bloody hatt.

submitted by Stu Pot

hattifnat - If you don't know the name for something, just call it a "hattifnat." Shouting "hattifnat" really makes people angry, so you can use it to annoy them.

e.g., Don't lie to me, you hattifnat. | I saw this strange animal, but I don't know what it was. Probably a hattifnat.

submitted by Daniel

haucked - Not participating in something one committed to. (ED. Yes, it's derived from the submitter's name. I like it anyway, since it sounds so much like clearing your throat.)

e.g., Christine was supposed to come to our party, but she haucked us.

submitted by Christine

haughty-culture - A society of scornfully-and-condescendingly-proud farmers.

e.g., Sure their fruits and vegetables are the best, but they didn't have to form such a haughty-culture.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

hauling ashes - A term meaning to take care of someone's sexual needs, usually in a grand and dynamic fashion. Synonymous with chiming one's clock and doing one's laundry.

e.g., She hauled his ashes so well, he couldn't walk straight the next day.

submitted by Steve McDonald

haut-kitsch - Noun/ Things perceived as high-class & glamorous by the less-educated & less refined elements of society. haut (Fr., high)+ kitsch (Ger., trash).

e.g., Designer jeans are an '80s example of haut-kitsch.

submitted by steve

haute house - (pronounced, "'out hawse"). An entity that presents, to the common eye, a tower of dignity, style, strength and success, while, in actuality, is, behind the fake facade, a habitat built on unbridled greed and rapaciousness. Here dwells a system that devours human capital and resources, and, within its walls, holds corruption and foul morality. It can be as small as a "one-hole-r" (viz. Madoff Capital) or as large as a political state.

e.g., Craig felt an internal shiver. Well, it was great while it lasted. When the real estate bubble collapsed, the unthinkable happened. Berer Schoene, the majestic, secure bastion of the financial world, got pulled down also. Craig, and thousands of his compatriots, lost their jobs.

Craig turned up the collar of his raincoat as a windy rain swirled around the New York City street. "Hey," he said to himself with a smile, "I'm a great salesman and I'm not yet 50 years old. There's a new Haute House out there just waiting for me!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko

haute quease-een - A menu selection that causes a real funny feeling in the pit of one's stomach.

e.g., I once stopped at a truckers' roadside eatery where the luncheon special was macaroni and cheese, with mashed potatoes and gravy, and three slices of white bread on the side. (A true story.) To the owners of the diner it was a "hearty lunch." To me, it was haute quease-een. (ED. Replace the macaroni and cheese with slices of roast beef or meat loaf and it would be a treat for me.)

submitted by Charlie Lesko

hava, havan - Have a or have an.

e.g., I hava cold. do you havan apple?

submitted by Matthew

havaniceday - Everyone you talk to says this when you leave, everyone, every time, always. People use to say "Have a nice day" and may have meant it. Nowadays, people say havaniceday which is a sort of way of saying goodbye not necessarily meaning anything. It is one word with four syllables.

e.g., Can't use this word in a sentence. It's a goodbye word. When you leave someone they say "Havaniceday."

submitted by gkel

have a cow - Become unduly upset. Dates from the 1960s.

e.g., Oh, my gawd. If my mother finds out I did this, she'll have a cow.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

have an apple. - Related to the saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." This is said to sick people. So in saying "Have an apple" you are wishing that they recover soon.

e.g., (John is sick in hospital. Bob enters.) Bob: How are ya? John: Bob, I'm in the hospital. I'm sick! Bob: Have an apple!

submitted by Sammmy

have guts - To be fired from a job.

e.g., I screwed up so many orders that my boss told me I've got guts.

submitted by ditnis

have one on you - to be extremely annoyed and generally react badly to a situation

e.g., ""ooh sag aloo, have you got one on you ?""

submitted by mark

having a bubble - Used to refute another's suggestion as ridiculous. From "bubble bath" = "laugh."

e.g., When Quasimodo said he was the best-looking man he knew, I said he was having a bubble.

submitted by Scott Nichols

havked - When you think you're being hacked, but you really aren't, you must exclaim that you were havked.

e.g., Chani read through her server logs and exclaimed, "I'm being havked!" Really, she just wasn't smart enough to understand that the server was overloaded by an image request.

submitted by Ghrens - (www)

havoced - To have one's carefully laid plans sent into disarray.

e.g., He was severely havoced when he missed the last train home.

submitted by david flett

hawai'ya - Hawaiian slang for "How are you?"

e.g., A tourist from another state might go up to some local in Hawaii and say "Hawai'ya," proposing to be funny and cool at the same time.

submitted by Emily

hawking - Driving slowly up and down, sometimes waiting at the start of a long aisle till someone pulls out and you can take her parking spot. Also, following a person to his car in your car to take that spot.

e.g., Chris was hawking and took my spot when I left.

submitted by Michael