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d & m - Deep & Meaningful; an intense conversation (typically between two participants) that usually results in the release of hidden emotions and confidential personal information.

e.g., I don't think we should interrupt their conversation right now. Looks like the're having a D & M.

submitted by jhulz - (www)

d&s - Divert and stack, divert and surf. To divert your attention from what you're doing to go off and do something else that caught your eye -- something you think you'll forget to look into unless you do it right now. The idea, of course, is to stack what you have underway and get back to it shortly -- once you've satiated your curiosity about the interrupting item. Problem: If Internet use is involved, you're likely to d&s repeatedly until what you initially intended to be a single level, last-in-first-out stack becomes a heap, a jumble, a pile. Notation: (d&s) { |}, followed in e-mails and blog posts by text indented a level deeper.

e.g., If I didn't d&s the way I do, I might never learn such tidbits as the fact that -- in the corpus used by Google books Ngram Viewer -- that "percent" began to gain dramatically in use on "per cent" and by 1975 predominated.

submitted by HD Fowler

d'no - Don't know. Dunno.

e.g., "Whatcha doin' tonight?" "D'no."

submitted by Alana

d'oh! - "Literally a contraction of "Duh... Oh!" made famous by Homer Simpson. Used to denote anything from surprise to being caught, to forgetting something, etc."

e.g., "Homer, did you remember our anniversary?" "D'OH!""

submitted by Eridactyl - (www)

d'ohmance - An ill-fated love affair. A combination of "d'oh" (Homer Simpson) and "romance."

e.g., He was trouble from the start; all it was ever going to be was a d'ohmance.

submitted by Liz

d'you - The cool way of saying "do you."

e.g., D'you think I'm cool?

submitted by leeleebigc

d-dash - (n.) (DEE-dash) The lowest possible passing grade on a test, quiz, or other educational affair. Also: A failing grade that is raised to a passing grade by a sympathetic teacher. (Etymology: from D-, D--, etc., grades; the minus signs look like dashes.)

e.g., Carol, a US university student was angered when her 50% grade was considered a fail. She sure wishes she should have gone to Canada, where 50% was a d-dash.

submitted by Mirakle B.

d-l - On the down low, meaning to keep it quiet or don't repeat this.

e.g., Jack: Here's your invitation to my party, but remember to keep it on the D-L. Mike: What's going on? You too cheap to buy a stamp.

submitted by lizziee

d-thru - (n.) 1. a fast-food drive-through; 2. the really annoying habit fast-food people have of holding out your food at the second window while you are still trying to take your change from someone as insistent about money as the other is about food. (adj.) 3. the impatience of someone trying to give you something you're simply not ready to take. (From the impatience like (I always imagine) drive-through people must be holding in check while they hold a bag of food out of their window while I'm still getting change.)

e.g., "You need to sign this now." "Okay, okay, give me a minute, I'm signing two other things while talking to the Chairman on the phone ... don't be so d-thru."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

d.b. cooper - Leaving an establishment or bar and not telling those who are with you that you're leaving. Especially those that need a ride home. Named after the never-found skyjacker D.B. Cooper.

e.g., I was looking around the bar for Joe, but he was gone. Must have pulled a D.B. Cooper on me.

submitted by kidiswhitehot

d.i.d. - D.i.D. or D.I.D. Damsel in Distress, especially one who is tied up or chained or otherwise restrained.

e.g., Did you catch that cool DiD on V.I.P. last night?

submitted by Pat Powers

d.o.j., d.o.d., etc. - The various U.S. Government cabinet-level departments. Department of Justice, Department of Defence, etc.

e.g., Ashcroft narrowly missed being rejected as D.O.J. head because of his right-wing alliances.

submitted by Stephen Mize

d00d. - (That's two zeroes and a period.) A very serious situation or state of affairs. One that leaves you completely speechless or requires very careful deliberation.

e.g., I can't believe she agreed to go out on a date with me. I didn't expect that at all. This is a rather d00d. type situation. | I just wrecked my mother's car. I didn't even have her permission to borrow it. D00d. I'm in trouble.

submitted by Zzonkmiles

da burgh - Ghetto slang for Pittsburgh, Pennsylavnia.

e.g., Wanna go down to Da Burgh to watch Lemieux and the Penguins?

submitted by G-dogg

da da da da - Similar to the expression yadayadayada, from Seinfeld,only this one is based on that song by The Police. Usage is the same however.

e.g., And then, she's all like "save the whales, have you hugged a tree today and pretty soon I'm all da da da da.

submitted by Paul

da kine - From Hawaiian Pidgen English, this translates as"the kind," but it can also be used as a catchall phrase, meaning virtually anything depending on its placement and usage in a sentence.

e.g., Da Kine surf looks good today. | Q: You hungry? Ready to eat some grinds? A: Da Kine. (And how.) Q: Did you download Da Kine file to disc?

submitted by pAUL

da mare - Chicago-speak for "the mayor."

e.g., Da mare refused to answer any more questions.

submitted by Jean

da'drink - Hitting your golf ball into the pond, lake, ocean, or anything resembling wetness.

e.g., That's in da'drink.

submitted by Dusty Raatz

da-j.i.c - Just in Case

e.g., Q:"Why you bringin your gat?" A:"For da JIC"

submitted by Scoot

da-poss-e - Describing a person's followers or special group.

e.g., Da-poss-e of Jesus was the Twelve Disciples.

submitted by flinch0

daapster - The phenomenon of using Apple's iTunes, or similar applications, to share music over a network using the new Digital Audio Access Protocol (DAAP).

e.g., See, I don't actually rip off music -- I only listen to other people's ripped-off music via DAAPster.

submitted by Jon Parker - (www)

dab - Give your friends a form of a handshake by hitting one fist on top of the other and then alternating.

e.g., Give ya girl some dab, phool.

submitted by erika

dab hand - Dab hand: "A person skilled in a particular activity; an expert: a dab hand at gardening."

Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition (1995), at crackerjack also crackajack. NOUN: Slang. A person with a high degree of knowledge or skill in a particular field: ace, adept, authority, dab hand, expert, master, past master, professional, proficient, wizard. Informal: whiz. Chiefly British: dab2.
See ABILITY.

ADJECTIVE: Slang. Having or demonstrating a high degree of knowledge or skill: adept, crack, expert, master, masterful, masterly, professional, proficient, skilled, skillful.
See ABILITY.

e.g., "Prince Andrew will probably also help out because he's a real dab hand with gadgets." | "Martin Cruz Smith is a dab hand at beginnings, as readers of Gorky Park will remember; but he tends to fumble his middle sections, and by the time the climax arrives he's all fingers and thumbs"

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

dabba-doo - (Rhymes with GRAB-a-ZOO; adj.) 1. Really fun, like jumping in the fred's-feet-fueled car with the Rubbles and heading out to watch a drive-in movie and then go for bronto-burgers; 2. Enjoyable as only simple pleasures are: good company, good food, and something nontechnologically fun to do (simple like troglodytes (like the Flintstones) would enjoy: kicking back with friends by a bonfire while toasting marshmallows or hot dogs and cuddling with your belle or your beau). [From Fred Flintstone's personal slogan "yabba dabba doo" (which itself comes I know not whence). Used sense 1 on Aaron Sorkin's West Wing (Season 4, Episode 19 "Angel Maintenance," in which Press Secretary C.J. Craig tells the Press Corps, regarding a presidential trip to Orange County, "We're gonna have a dabba-doo time.")

e.g., "I've got dinner reservations and tickets for the show for all four of us and our dates, and a great spot to picnic the rest of the night away, ... and really cool hats." "Hats?" "Yeah, it'll be dabba-doo, for real." "And the hats?" "Especially the hats." | "What do you do for four hours on the beach?" "Big fire, beach balls, cold drinks and hot dogs. Dabba-doo."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

dacb - To look quite unorganised (unclean, unkempt, etc.)

e.g., Even for the interview, she did not bother to rid herself of her dacb looks and that cost her the job.

submitted by gopal krishnan

dack - Aussie slang for pulling someone's pants down.

e.g., When I was at the year 11 study camp, some losers dacked me in front of everyone and I was completely embarrassed. | Alec said he dacked her because she had ants in her pants.

submitted by Aussie Bloke

dacks - Aussie slang for underpants.

e.g., Me and my mates were at the footy watching the game and when the other team won we got pissed off and dropped our dacks and brown-eyed the whole team.

submitted by Aussie Bloke

dad joke - A dad joke is a lame joke that dads tell -- often characterised by many retellings and the fact that the only person who laughs is the person who told the joke.

e.g., "So, is your new boss funny?" "Not really. He only tells dad jokes."

submitted by Anna

daddy-look - Searching for something in a half-hearted manner. A habitual token or cursory glance most often used when looking for articles of a child's clothing.

e.g., Daddy says he can't find your shoes? Did he look or did he daddy-look?

submitted by c bauer

dadend - When you think you have everything worked out for an event but your dad stops you from carrying out your plans.

e.g., I was all ready for the big dance when, as I came downstairs, I ran into a dadend.

submitted by Kara Bell

dadnasticate - To procrastinate, but feel kinda bad about doing it.

e.g., If only I had started sooner. But, blast it, I've been dadnasticating all week.

submitted by Clayton

daffynition - The second (intermediate) part of a pd entry; the description. | A statement that explains the meaning of a term (a word, phrase, or other set of symbols), as entered in the pseudodictionary.

e.g., These daffynitions are enough to make one hysterical (take that as you will). | Ooops -- how embarrassing; I opened my very own version of the pseudodictionary on 17 Apr 2004 with the word \"daffynition\" and yet never before thought to enter it here in the real pd.  
 
{ED. Mr. Berliner is certainly correct when he calls some of his submittals daffynitions. They are that and more. He doesn't care for my use of submittal, but I prefer to use that word rather than submission. I associate submission more with bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism than I do with submitting words to a site that's run as a lark. He must have mistyped his word, though, because it was flagged on entry as a duplicate. I'll come back later and merge the two entries, giving me a slot in the lexicon to use from the back-end.)

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

daft - Means stupid.

e.g., That is daft.

submitted by Bob

daftwit - He doesn't make a bit of sense, he must be out of his mind, he lacks good sense, he's balmy, crackers, loony.

e.g., The current ruler of Libya might sometimes be viewed as a daftwit, but he seems to know how to stay in power in spite of the valiant efforts of the people to be free of him, alas.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

dag - Dung hanging of a sheep's bum. Usually mixed in with bits of wool from said sheep. | Someone who dresses shabbily, or someone who has taken no care to dress up. Could be wearing garden clothes, or same trackpants she was wearing when Kennedy was president. | Someone who has no idea. A person not up with the moment, out of step with the "in crowd," a nerd. | A term of endearment, usually for someone who is being both a bit dumb or thoughtless and cute at the same time.

e.g., Take these shears and go cut those dags off the sheep there. | Take a look at Cathy. What a dag. Flip-flops, trackie-dacks, and a sports bra is not a good look for a new date. | Chris is a complete dag. He owns all of David Hasslehoff's albums and he plays EverQuest. | Oh, Cathy, you're such a dag. Of course they speak English in Australia. What? Did you think they spoke Austrian?

submitted by Cathy Sanders

dag nasty - Unbelievably nasty, utterly repulsive.

e.g., That snail and worm soup was dag nasty.

submitted by Lorri O

dageratte - Cigarette.

e.g., Got a spare dageratte? I'm feeling suicidal.

submitted by COLIN M

dagerooni - Crazy, being like David Alan Grier.

e.g., He is dagerooni.

submitted by Phoo BAg 4 U

dagget - The indents in a wall.

e.g., The school has daggets in all of the rooms.

submitted by Courtney 7th English

daggit - A corrupted version of "damn it" or "dang it."

e.g., Daggit, my computer crashed again.

submitted by nate

daggy - Superlatively lame, in a downmarket way. To be precise: something that's half dorky, half ghetto. Australian derivation, most endearingly uttered in a Japanese accent.

e.g., I hate daggy stupid surferboy shop in Shibuya, ne. Nobody there surf. Ne?

submitted by Adam Greenfield - (www)

dagnab - Sanitized alternative for "God damn." Southern U.S. equivalent of "gosh darn."

e.g., Dagnab it, Jim Bob, I already done told you, you can't marry your cousin Dottie 'til she turns thirteen.

submitted by Tom

dagnabbit - Used when completely frustrated in place of other choices words.

e.g., Dagnabit, Bruce, that old joke about the Long Island Ferry reeks.

submitted by Sarah Kelly

dagrieopal - Anything that is just outlandish.

e.g., He is a dagrieopal. He is always making strange concoctions in his backyard.

submitted by candace mcdonald

dagwood - A very large sandwich piled high with various meats, vegtables, cheeses and condiments and often topped off with a toothpick skewered through an olive on top of it all. The finished product should be nearly impossible to get your jaws around.

e.g., Dagwoods have been around at least since the 1940s series of Dagwood and Blondie movies, and known by that name.

submitted by Chris Conley

daint - don't

e.g., I daint want to do the dishes

submitted by Nathan Powell

daisy-dukes - Extremely tight, short-shorts worn by young women in the American South.

e.g., Classic Daisy-Dukes can be seen on any of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

submitted by Stephen Mize

dali - A distorted sense of perspective or reality, usually brought on by alcohol. The concept that your surroundings are no longer solid.

e.g., After ten pints of Stella, everything seemed a bit Dali.

submitted by Nasixi

daliwolper - Changing the subject of a conversation due to the sudden presence of an authority figure.

e.g., Unfortunately for Kenji and Kazuki, their evening together included a daliwolper that destroyed the mood.

submitted by Terrence Waterjuice

damb - Same as damn but don't you think since you pronounce it the same as lamb it should be spelled damb? (ED. I don't pronounce it to rhyme with damb, rather dam or lam. Some of the things the acronym DAMB stands for.) | Pronounced the same as "damn"; adjective) 1. Damnably dumb, unbelievably stupid; (interj.) 2. "How astoundingly idiotic!"; (expl. "dambit") 3. "Curse your miserable, just-how-IQless-can-you-get, bowl-of-noodle-soup brainlessness!" (Coined by a Latino boy at the school where my wife works.)

e.g., Damb, I will miss you. | "Chuck, that's a damb foolish idea!" "Damb, Chuck! I want nothing to do with it!" "Oh, my idea's damb foolish, is it? Well, Dambit! You're the imbeciles here, not me! When they take away your funding, don't come running to me! Damb!"

submitted by Kelly Kallestad | Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

damename - Proper form of address for a knighted lady.

e.g., Margot Fonteyn and Helen Mirren were knighted; their damenames are thus Margot and Helen (see also "sirname").

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

damijag - "Don't Ask Me, I'm Just A Girl," normally followed by a giggle. A bimbo.

e.g., Chris is the damijag to end all damijags. | Melba's black humor, damijag style, 1969, when asked how to get somewhere: "Don't ask me. I'm like Mary Jo Kopechne. I just came along for the ride." An unnecessary death, caused by one of our longest-serving United States Senators. Many think a criminal act went unpunished; many more are unaware that it ever happened. How did Mary Jo Kopechne die? By drowning or by suffocating? Click on the www hyperlink, check it out, and draw your own conclusions. There's also an FBI report here. | Mary Beth always pretended she didn't know what was going on with her damijag act. Or was it an act? (Confirmed several years after making this entry: It was just an act.)

submitted by Rebecca - (www)

dammit - Useful for substituting swear words when talking about someone

e.g., "yeah, i mean dammitjonny.. what is he playin at??"

submitted by josephina

dammitol - Psuedo-pharmacological sounding word used to express frustration.

e.g., Oh, dammitol, I have to go back to the hardware store to buy a different size of pipe.

submitted by Ron

dammitory - Hell.

e.g., Jack said if he told another lie he was going to dammitory.

submitted by joyce

damn clipy - A phrase usually uttered when one first opens one of the newer versions of Microsoft Word. Or, a phrase uttered when someone forgets to turn off the Office Assistant, and does something that the program feels you could do with a little help.

e.g., What would you like to do? "Damn clipy." ::hide Office Assistant:: Do you want to save the changes? "Damn clipy."

submitted by Amethyst - (www)

damn skippy - A quick response to a statement that you agree with.

e.g., " Isn't my car flash?" "Damn skippy, your car's flash."

submitted by Jon

damn-a-rama - All-purpose term of exasperation. Usually uttered in frustration or extreme fatigue, sometimes both.

e.g., Tax time coming again? Damn-a-rama. And I'm stuck with the long form.

submitted by Turfdigger

damn-defrag - The incredibly long length of time it takes to defrag one's hard-disk

e.g., The duchess looked back on her midlife escapades . . . and realized that she had spent far too much time waiting for Godot, not to mention dilly-dallying about with the Duke of Damn-Defrag.

submitted by Quipping Queen - (www)

damnaged - That which is not only damaged, but is damaged beyond repair. Generally used to describe something in writing.

e.g., This has been damnaged.

submitted by Looneymidi

damnbitious - Damn ambitious.

e.g., Mike is very damnbitious. I heard he's taking 20 credit hours and working two full-time jobs this semester.

submitted by Heather Crotchett

damnesia - Damn amnesia.

e.g., "What's Arnold's problem?" "Oh, he's suffering from damnesia again."

submitted by Peter Beckwith - (www)

dance mania - Dance Mania, also known as the St. Vitus dance, affected men, women, and children, and was prevalent from the mid 14th to the early 17th centuries. Mobs of people, sometimes numbering into the thousands, would spontaneously gather outdoors, and would scream, shout, and sing, while dancing uncontrollably and bizarrely. The \"dance"\ would sometimes last for weeks, while participants continued until each fell into complete exhaustion.  
 
Some historians believe that disease was the cause, but many agree that the phenomenon occurred during times of great stress. There were many common causes of stress through those ages, including the effects of poverty, wars, and religious pogroms. Especially stressful were the days leading up to the end of the world predicitions, and were met with great fear and trepidation.

e.g., A period of increasing nervous anxiety has returned to haunt our world. Time ticks down to December 21, 2012, a day that several ancient, and perhaps credible, prophecies predict the termination of life on earth. The lost Mayan civilization has handed down to us a precise, mathematically accurate calendar that concludes exactly on the 21st of this December. Doomsday believers also point to Nostradamus, a famed 16th century seer, whose past predictions have ostensibly come true, and who forecast a fatal collision between earth and a comet in 2012. In addition, several centuries-old native tribes, in North America and in India, have legends that foretell the end of days this year.  
 
As tensions increase while we approach winter, will Dance Mania resurrect? Coming into December, will the poor come pouring out of their tenements, the rich from their gated estates, the young out of the discos and dance halls, and the elderly from their retirement communities, in a dancing frenzy that explodes from the buildup of enormous stress and strain?  
 
Will you come out of your house to join them -- your voice yelling, singing, shouting, screaming, while your body contorts, jerks, spasms, spins, twists, and turns around, and around, and around, in a wild danse macabre, over and over, hour after hour, until you fall to the ground, unconscious, your mind and body completely drained?  
 
And will you awaken the next morning, along with everyone else, anxiously await the magic hour that passes into night -- then, the next morning, week, month, year, year after year, as did the seasons after all the past predictions of Armageddon?  
 
Or will it be different this time? Will the predictions come true? Will, horror of horrors, fire and brimstone consume the earth? Will civilization and the mighty efforts and works of all Mankind burn and blow away? And will our sun flicker, and as the music fades, will the "whirled" finally come to an end?

submitted by charlie lesko - (www)

dance nazi - A person who goes around correcting dancers at a ceili, those who are just enjoying themselves recreationally.

e.g., A. Get you self into step. B. Oh, get off, you dance nazi.

submitted by Donald Sangster

dance-apella - A dance performed without music. Usually absent-mindedly, or to burn off excess energy.

e.g., We were all standing in the hall outside the conference room waiting for the prior meeting to let out. It was taking forever! To entertain myself I put on a little dance-apella for my fellow attendees.

submitted by chesney

danceterbation - A dance performered alone, usually while wearing boots and a hat and timed to music containing lyrics that include the words "watermelon" or "tractor."

e.g., Clyde got really turned on watching Bessie and Lurlene danceterbate to to that new Ricky Van Shelton song.

submitted by Mel Holder

dancing toad - From the classic Warner Brothers cartoon "One Froggy Evening," in which a dancing and singing Michigan J. Frog just croaks when anyone other than his agent is present. An application which runs fine when the development team are running it, but crashes when demonstrated to clients.

e.g., I thought the program was robust enough to beta, but it turned out to be a dancing toad.

submitted by Arron Clague - (www)

dancyface - (dansy'fās) The art of making a particular expression on one's face while dancing (this can also be termed d-face). This word is a noun

e.g., "Lawrence looked around with a bewildered dancyface as he realized that he was the only one on the dance floor."

submitted by Cody Hartman - (www)

dandilaut - Dandylow. Anything or anyone particularly tall, or the tallest of a group.

e.g., She was proud of her father because he was well 6 feet tall and was almost always the dandilaut. | By the age of 10 he was already over 6 feet tall and was the dandilaut of his class. | At their visit to the zoo they could not wait to see the giraffe as it is the dandilaut of all the animals.

submitted by David Ford

dandy - Nifty; spiffy; good; great; coolio; sunshiny; etc.

e.g., Have a dandy day.

submitted by Joy

dandylions - Large, carnivorous felines with yellow, tawny skins, tufted tails, and fastidious manners.

e.g., Down in the savanna, where the sun is fryin'  
for the title "King of Beasts" big cats are vyin'.  
"I'm the fiercest," "I'm the fastest," "I'm the strongest," some are cryin',  
but it's toms with style have the pussycats sighin'.  
They're the Pride of the Pride, the dandylions!

submitted by Machiavellean & Lesko - (www)

danem-gonit-chaheck - Expletive that combines "Daggonit" and "Damn it all to heck." Used to add a touch of light humor to an otherwise undesirable situation.

e.g., Danem-gonit-chaheck! Where the hell are we now?

submitted by Jacob S.

dangerosity - The intensity or level of danger.

e.g., The dangerosity was far too high for to go ahead with my initial plan. I don't know what I had been thinking.

submitted by Sean

dangerou - A dangerou is a carnivorous and ferocious marsupial now only found in captivity.

e.g., Sharon saw the sign on the cage, "Warning: these animals are dangerous," and backed off.

submitted by Brave Sir Robin

dangkang - Used to describe a naughty boy

e.g., You're a dangkang, Bruce.

submitted by breanna

danglish - words/grammar combining danish and english

submitted by Brennan Edwards

dangy - Dang + handy: a person who is dang handy to have around.

e.g., Jimbo just fixed my computer. He's a dangy guy.

submitted by Dylon Whyte

danielize - To resign from your job and then return to work within a matter of days because your new job didn't work out. Named after Daniel, who did this twice over a period of several months.

e.g., I danielized my boss last month when I resigned on Friday and showed back up at work on Tuesday. I didn't get a raise out of it, but I figure I might get one after a couple more danielizations.

submitted by Matt Vines - (www)

dank - Used when referring to something really cool or nice. | The same as dinky.

e.g., Wow, that new girl Suzy is dank, isn't she? | "Did you notice what a dank party Mike had? I was embarrassed for him." "His father and mother have been AWOL for years, so he's never had anyone to help him with his social skills. What else should we have been expecting?" "You're right. The guy's plenty smart, so he'll probably marry a social genius who'll pull his fat out of the fire until he can fend for himself socially."

submitted by chris | Your mom - (www)

dankurtis - A feeling of overwhelming curiosity and spontaneity. (ED. Another entry apparently based on a friend's name. This must have come in the day the seventh graders bombed us, a day when none of the entries were looked at before accepting them.)

e.g., Being dankurtis may eventually get Matt in trouble. He went sky diving, bungee jumping, and hiking all in one day.

submitted by danielle - (www)

danky - Not too great, not too bad. In the middle.

e.g., I'm feeling danky today.

submitted by Nicki

danky sore - Used by a teenager--assumed meaning is "canker sore."

e.g., Last time I ate a grapefruit, it gave me a danky sore.

submitted by BigJ7489

danny - A "danny" is a finger puppet. The derivation is from the movie The Shining, when little Danny speaks to his finger and says in a satanic voice, "Danny isn't here right now, Mrs. Torrance." "Danny" is appropriate to be used for all types of finger puppets.

e.g., I bought the cutest little danny today, a caterpillar.

submitted by Marty Klein - (www)

dant - Meaning, joke's on you, or in your face. If said situation your friend finds herself in is especially funny, can be lengthened to dante (pronounced loudly: dant-aaaayyy). Used by my 15-year-old son and his friends.

e.g., Your Internet doesn't work? Dant! | Your Internet doesn't work and now you can't do your homework and your friend changed your status on Facebook and your girlfriend thinks you just broke up with her and is calling all her friends telling them how you cried that time? Dant-aaayyy!

submitted by Tammy Morris

dap - A brand new synonym for cool because as you know those words always go out of style so fast. Just take a look at "groovy." Dap particularly means cool and slick orsmooth.

e.g., That hat you're wearing today is pretty dap.

submitted by Cullen

daps - trainers, sneakers, plimsolls, or gym shoes by another name.

e.g., Kate looked dazzling wearing her new daps.

submitted by dan - (www)

daq - To be a complete idiot.

e.g., How did you fail that easy test, you DaQ?

submitted by Dorien

daramanit - Curse word that expresses disdain or otherwise ill-felt sentiment; for those who have trouble saying the words "damn" or "darn."

e.g., What!? You mean we actually had to READ that chapter. Daramanit, where was I when the teacher made the assignment.

submitted by Mike, CTC

darb's - Cigarette.

e.g., Hey bloke, got any darbs's?

submitted by daniel avey

daresn't - Dares not. My grandma says this all the time.

e.g., If he knows what's good for him, he daresn't go near the big dog.

submitted by Scott

darishnafrod - Synonym for FUBAR, except much, much more so.

e.g., Those drinks were too strong, Jester is seriously darishnafrod. He can't stop puking. OR My car got hit yesterday, it's darishnafrod.

submitted by Xylob

darius - (chiefly British.) v. To unwittingly embarrass oneself whilst trying to "make an impression," especially on national TV.

e.g., Britney dariused herself at the karaoke yet again last night.

submitted by Helen

dark rainbow - Unlike a dark cloud, there is no silver lining. Just layer upon layer of variegated gloom and doom.

e.g., When I asked the group did your parents ever say to you "Don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about," our resident dark rainbow began to talk about growing up in a closet and being fed by a straw through the key hole.

submitted by nitag - (www)

dark shake - An interesting flavored shake made from 4% milk, 74% dark energy, and 22% dark matter. | A greeting using the hand by Darth Vader.

e.g., "Mmmm … this dark shake tastes sensational, and I like the way the non-dairy ingredients are mixing with -- my ? and all my neurons can smell the taste of … it's a , whyk zulbas… -- ondu?&** bup

submitted by steve zihlavsky

dark side, unleash the - To will strike down with great vengeance and furious anger. Unleashees usually include call centers, and untrained computer shop staff.

e.g., PCBigShop has sold me another dodgy printer... i'm going down there to unleash the dark side on them

submitted by dan thomas

dark uncle - A evil man who runs the illustrious CVEO and lives in CV.

e.g., Dark Uncle needs a dollar for a chimichanga.

submitted by Kevin Watson

dark years - That specific period that all people have, when they look their worst, either on purpose or out of ignorance. For most people, it's during adolescence.

e.g., Viewing a picture of a friend with a blond afro and muttonchop sideburns: Those were the dark years, weren't they, Dave?

submitted by judy

dark-thirty - A half-hour after sunset. Not to be confused with "O-dark-thirty."

e.g., The newspaper said the fireworks would start about dark-thirty.

submitted by Crossbow

darking - Starting to get dark out. | The process of diminishing light.

e.g., Hey, Mom, is it darking yet? | It began darking as soon as the sun dipped below the horizon.

submitted by Sami Wolff | Dougall McDonald

darktime - Time when it's dark.

e.g., It's getting late, it's almost darktime.

submitted by Ruth

darls - Darling, as often used by Australian women.

e.g., Hey, darls, could ya go down the shop and get us a pack of smokes.

submitted by Aussie Bloke

darmok - (v.) 1. To cite metaphors as a means of communication (from the Star Trek TNG episode "Darmok," which introduces an alien race that communicates in just this way); 2. To create or cite such a metaphor as part of one's communication system; 3. A tag question, "Darmok?," meaning either "I'm speaking in code; do you understand?" or "Are you speaking in code?" (The correct response is "Jalad" for "yes" or "Shaka" for "no." (these terms also come from the ST:TNG episode). to speak in code. (n.) 1. A code system, esp. one based on metaphors; 2. A coded message or term.

e.g., "I have to work late, honey: some . . . visitors just showed up at the office. But don't worry, I should be home around nine-eleven; we can watch the rest of the Two Towers. . . . Darmok?" ". . . Okay, I'll call Jalad and let him know. What about Cassandra?" "Maker her a reservation at the Bridge Inn." translation: "I've been captured by terrorists who are planning something big, understand?" "I understand, but I'm having trouble believing you, are you serious?" "Nope. I'm kidding ... bigtime." (Casandra was a prophetess in Troy, cursed always to speak the truth, but never to be believed. The Bridge Inn, in Wales, host the World's Biggest Liar competition each November.)

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

darn tootin' - Agreeing with strongly.

e.g., "Do you want to go to the mall tonight?" "Darn Tootin!"

submitted by Nick

darn tootin` - Damn right -- usually say with a pug smile on your face; said to be stupid. Also used as an answer after some one says something really dumb

e.g., "Did you know that cows have utters?" "You're darn tootin' -- but I think they have udders, not 'utters.'"

submitted by cody nickerson - (www)

darrick - A hot guy.

e.g., Check him out, he's a darrick.

submitted by Felicity

darro - Person from the country, outsider. Australian.

e.g., That new kid at our school who started last week is a darro.

submitted by Alex Edney

darryl - Somebody that is just a complete dork, lacks common sense. Not gender specific, it's a state of mind.

e.g., Look at that Darryl. He has on plaid pants with a Hawaiian shirt. Wonder where his brother Darryl is?

submitted by Darc Jasa

darsh - Cool or "with it."

e.g., "That band is so cool," said Jimmy. "That lead singer is really darsh."

submitted by Ian Keir

dartha - An evil female alien -- and your worst nightmare!

e.g., Watch out that Dartha doesn't take an interest in you. First she has her way with you; then she eats you. Be very afraid!

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

darthleria - A disease that involves terrible breathing and produces a hoarse noise when the sick person inhales and exhales.

e.g., When the ill man had one of his lungs removed, it sounded like he had Darthleria because his voice sounded so hoarse.

submitted by Kelsey DeLave

darwench - A flighty female fond of finches; a Darwinist of the eco-tourist variety, she is commonly spotted in the Galapagos Islands.

e.g., The darwench spoke dreamily of feeling centered and grounded; perhaps it was those heavy Birkenstocks.

submitted by Jenny Stahl

darwimp - An evolutionist who, though lacking obvious signs of fitness, somehow manages to reproduce.

e.g., A smelly darwimp, the biologist selected a female who bore him triplets.

submitted by Jenny Stahl

darwin - To do something so stupid it gets you killed.

e.g., He lit a match to see if there was any gas in his car's tank--darwined immediately when the car exploded.

submitted by HD Fowler

darwince - 1. An involuntary, spasmodic facial response triggered upon hearing the full title of Darwin's book, On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life. 2. To exhibit such a facial response.

e.g., When the professor announced the name of our next reading assignment, I saw my friend Tyrone darwince.

submitted by Jenny Stahl

darwind - 1. The evolutionary pronouncements of sociobiologists, often expressed in a breezy manner alongside references to unsupporting empirical data. 2. A rotating mass of air, or whirlwind, created when evolutionists use rocks to date fossils, and fossils to date rocks; also caused by explanations of the phrase, "survival of the fittest." 3. A rhetorical tool, used to persuade members of the opposite sex to accede to atypical behaviors.

e.g., 1. There goes Dr. Wilson again, blowing darwind to explain his bad behavior. 2. "Yes," said our teacher, "if the fit survive, then the survivors must be fit," and immediately a darwind rustled the papers on our desks. 3. When he couldn't get past her modest demeanor, he tried darwind.

submitted by Jenny Stahl

darwing - Any fossil or composite of fossils fraudulently proposed as a transitional form between dinosaurs and birds.

e.g., Archaeoraptor liaoningesis was a darwing of the National Geographic Society.

submitted by jenny stahl

darwinist chimpathizer - n. A highly imaginative artist who specializes in designing ape-to-human chronological displays; customarily employed by tax-supported museums and public television networks.

e.g., In the Museum of Natural History, the anthropologist cornered a Darwinist chimpathizer near his display, and accused him of fantasizing; he answered by baring his teeth.

submitted by Jenny Stahl

darwink - A facial gesture that initiates a mating display, produced by a Darwinist who considers himself super-fit.

e.g., He signalled her with a darwink; she laughed and called him maladaptive.

submitted by Jenny Stahl

daschle - To stand in the way of something, to obstruct, to keep off the agenda, to keep a decision from being made.

e.g., With any luck at all we'll have our liquor license next week -- unless someone in the bureaucracy decides to daschle it.

submitted by HD Fowler

dasdad - Complete lack of form and grace.

e.g., Suzie got smashed last night. She was absolutley dasdad.

submitted by Nick Clark

dashenka - Moscow slang for "darling."

e.g., You are just my little dashenka.

submitted by jim barclay

daskeed - (n.) the in-the-beginning, startup arrangement of day-to-day chores and activities, as for a new business, a new government, a new household, and the like. [A combination of the words "Task" and "Deed"---David Eddings notes in one of his prologues that "a deed once done is done forever, but a task returneth every day." A DASKEED is thus the one-time DEED of arranging for the undertaking of necessary day-to-day TASKS.]

e.g., Setting up room service and housekeeping and maintenance and airport limousine service is a major daskeed when you're converting a thousand-year-old castle into a five-star hotel.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

dassadassa - Phrase meaning "That's what I said" and is usually used when two people are in agreement, but still arguing about it simply for argument's sake. Origin: two people saying "that's what I said" back and forth, faster and faster until the words started running together.

e.g., Jane: Did you see John's new haircut? He looks much better. Joan: Totally. He looks much better! Jane: Dassadassa! Joan: Dassadassa! Jane: No, Dassadassa! Joan: I know, Dassadassa! etc.

submitted by Lis - (www)

dast - Asking a question with a dare.

e.g., Dast I take the last beer?

submitted by Ade Magnuson

dat - Used as slang for the word that.

e.g., Dat's for sure. Dat's for dang sure.

submitted by ectogamit

data - "Data are" has a sound I've never cared for. Michael Quinion tells us that "British non-specialist usage has settled on data as a singular mass noun." I've been waiting for that change in language for decades. Data = data.

e.g., "The data so far is unsurprising."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

data candy - This phrase describes the use of data, or "facts," as a kind of resume enhancer -- not literally true, but true enough to fool some of the people most of the time -- namely, the gullible people she likes to hang out with.

e.g., "Where does he get his so-called 'facts,' Ambrose? I think he makes them up. They sound good, and always make himself seem like the cat's pajamas -- but they're just too good, if you know what I mean." "You're right: data candy for sure."

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

data cuckoo - A person who uses your hard drive to store data from a mobile device to free up memory. They then recover it when it suits them. i.e. dumping photos from a camera.

e.g., Don't let Jane near your laptop. She's a data cuckoo. She'll fill up your hard drive at the drop of a hat.

submitted by Will Howells

data smog - An overwhelming amount of information.

e.g., If you don't learn how to use Google's advanced search facilities, all you'll end up with is a data smog. It'll be so thick you won't have any idea where to start. It's only going to get worse as the amount of information on the internet continues to grow. For instance, this pseudodictionary entry should soon be added to Google's search results for «"data smog"».

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

data-dink - A computer expert.

e.g., Call the data-dinks, the system has crashed again.

submitted by Stephen Mize

databasification - The widespread, and onerous, pouring of people's personal and private data into commercial and government databases.

e.g., I quietly fret over the databasification of practically every nuance of our lives.

submitted by bristolz - (www)

databatize - To convert to a database or a database application. (Intended as an example of just how far wrong Americans can go when they "ize" a noun to turn it into a verb?)

e.g., Joe wanted me to databatize his inventory spreadsheet.

submitted by Al Kostiuk

datachondriacs - People who continually think their computers ares infected with some kind of virus, malware, or spyware.

e.g., My friend spends hundreds of dollars a month at the computer repair shop because he is a datachondriac.

submitted by dave oberritter - (www)

dataface - The face of data as expressed in a graphical user interface. Shorthand for an interface to a database.

e.g., With the system having grown to over 200 tables, building an easy to navigate dataface became even more critical.

submitted by Michel Floyd

datanosis - Hypnosis caused by overexposure to data, usually via the Internet or digital delivery.

e.g., Bob had to be physically shaken by his coworkers when they noticed he'd been staring slack-jawed at his computer screen for over two hours, a victim of datanosis.

submitted by Mark Lee - (www)

datarray - Not a counterpoint for disarray, but an array of data.

e.g., First you draw a tic-tac-toe playing area. Then you enclose it to make one big square and nine small squares. Fill each small square with a number. Now you have a datarray of numbers, Sandy. If you fill each small square with a three-letter word, you will have a datarray of words.

submitted by HD Fowler

datefusion - Confusion about the status of someone that you went out with more than three times. Basically, you don't know where it's going or what you want to do with it, and you like the person a lot, yet you don't know it they're entirely good for you or if they're even what you want . You think it's going at one speed, while the other person thinks it's going at a different speed. (You just have to let it ride its course and you'll find out what it is.)

e.g., Susan: How was your date last night? Mary: Great, but Robert's got me in datefusion -- he says we're taking it slow, but we've been out six times and have had pre-sex already. I don't know what I think of that.

submitted by Rainbow Woman

datle-learnya - To become more learned

e.g., Did you stack your bike? Datle-learnya. You won't do that again.

submitted by Tugga Montegue

datobese - A very, very fat database. (Original thought, but did find it later as a misspelling.)

e.g., My datobese of the rotund Henry Kissinger's quotations does not include this one: "Military men are just dumb stupid animals to be used as pawns in foreign policy."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

daugahyde - Deprecating term for fake leather. Pronounced "dog-a-hide."

e.g., You mean to tell me you dropped $40,000 on this new set of wheels, and you got seats covered with daugahyde? (Ask Albert Brooks, _Lost in America_.)

submitted by Gregory Bloom

daught - (Pronounced to rhyme with_bought_; v.) To be or become someone's daughter. [Back formation from "daughter," as in "one who daughts."]

e.g., "Daught" is to "daughter" as "read" is to "reader." A reader reads for you; a daughter daughts for you. My daughters, Betty and Ellen, daught for my wife and me.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

daughter of aphrodite - A female who is particularly beautiful, especially a young woman.

e.g., Sarah Michelle Gellar is a Daughter of Aphrodite.

submitted by Liam Callaghan

dauncey - Strange, odd, or just plain not cute.

e.g., See the dauncey blouse she's wearing?

submitted by tink

davinci cod - A puzzling person.

e.g., The football manager is a danvinci cod.

submitted by Joe

davis's rule - From Lanny Davis, political advisor to President Clinton. Davis's Rule: Dump damaging information in the press when it is likely to do the least harm. Corollary 1: Dump information in the press when it is likely to do the most damage to your political opponents. Corlllary 2: Dump information in the press to a "friendly journalist" -- one who will put the most favorable spin on it or one who will present it in such a was as to be barely noticed.

e.g., Haven't figured out how it applies, but releasing the story now -- that Sandy Berger illegally took classified information from the National Archives -- may just be an application of Davis's Rule.

submitted by HD Fowler

davliotic - Descriptive of any idiocy mimicking, expressed by, attributed to, or performed in honor (or dishonor) of Dave.

e.g., I've often considered performing the davliotic maneuver of sneezing out a hanging snot wad and wiping it in my eye before a small group of individuals.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

davros - A foot-propelled roll across the office floor on a chair with casters. From Davros, the half-Dalek, half-human villain of _Doctor Who_.

e.g., I davrossed across the office to change the CD.

submitted by Simon

davy jones song - A drowned man's ditty, to the tune of "Bring Back My Bonny To Me."

e.g., My body lies under the ocean, My body lies under the sea, My body lies under the ocean, Oh bring back my body to me: Bring back, bring back, Oh bring back my body, To me, to me, Bring back, bring back, Oh bring back my body to me.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

dawdlegag - To move amazingly slowly. A combined form of dawdle and lollygag.

e.g., We're already late, so don't dawdlegag.

submitted by Prolix Footle

dawg - A salutation teenage boys use with each other--inappropriate if used otherwise.

e.g., John: Hey, Dawg, what's up? Dawg (Lee, in this case): Nothin', J-man. Just toolin'.

submitted by Amy

dawgette - A female dog.

e.g., Mrs. West has a dawgette.

submitted by brittany

dawgnosin' - To go haphazardly but with intention, in the manner of your dog -- nose to ground, intent on getting there, but in your own time.

e.g., There is a direct route to Dalkey Island, but I prefer to go dawgnosin' over, taking in the Muglins on the way and maybe with some fishin' thrown in for good measure. Thanks to Adam Nicholson in 'Sea Room' for the illumination, if not the word. "There's nothing the dog disdains on his way, nevertheless he/ keeps moving, changing/ pace and approach but / not direction -- 'every step an arrival.'" Denise Levertov (US) "Over to the Islands"

submitted by Patrick Tynan

dawn patrol - Programmers who remain at their terminals throughout the night, working right into the next business day.

e.g., I'm exhausted. I was on dawn patrol last night.

submitted by Ivar Zantinge - (www)

dawson's creek moment - A moment that is so sappy, romantic, or cheesy that it belongs on teeny-bopper TV, with bad pop music ballads playing in the background.

e.g., Heather and I had a Dawson's Creek moment last night.

submitted by Cuggy - (www)

day for night - Expression meaning someone has her sleeping and waking patterns mixed up; sleeping all day instead of at night. Originally from movies, where the film crew would often shoot a scene in the day depicting night, and vice versa.

e.g., I slept 'til two this afternoon. I am definitely day for night these days.

submitted by Paul

daycare - Behaving in a juvenile, scatalogical or stupid way as though you were in daycare with no home training.

e.g., Chris was ogling girls at the Death Cab show, so I told him to quit acting daycare.

submitted by Nick Jones

daycation - (n.) A day off, especially one involving a day trip. It may include an overnight stay, but only one day of work can be skipped. (Friday and Monday make the best daycations.)

e.g., Six straight 18-hour days is just too many for both actors and crew, so I've decided to give everyone Wednesday off as a daycation.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

daygogear - All the must-have stuff to get through to the end of the day. At home most of it goes missing overnight: cell phone, personal organiser, glasses, Kleenex, keys, office security tag. Daygogear hunting is a popular but stressful early morning pursuit.

e.g., It's 8.00am, I'm late, and of course, the daygogear picks that moment to go walkabout.

submitted by Patrick Tynan

daylights - The often bothersome phenomenon which occurs when a person is driving a car on a moderately wooded highway during the hours when the sun is rising or setting, causing a blinding flicker effect that makes driving even more difficult.

e.g., You've awakened early after a long night somewhere strange and you must return to your home. The emerging sun shines brightly through the cracks in the trees. Your eyes alternate between dilating and constricting. . . . You are experiencing daylights.

submitted by Naziel

daymare - A nightmare that is lived out in the light of day; a bad dream come true.

e.g., His daymare about her turned out to be far worse than any nightmare he could dream up.

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler

dayurnal - Occurring or active during the day.

e.g., Being dayurnal, I am usually most active during the daylight hours.

submitted by Ed Reynolds

daz - A zebra crossed (or mixeed) with a dog and a cat.

e.g., "OMG! That's the only Daz in the world!" said Zoe.

submitted by Me7676

dazlious - An exclamation of beauty and awe.

e.g., The dazlious golden-red sunshine poured in through the glass

submitted by Ryan Pendleton - (www)

dbc - Don't Be Cheap. Exclamation used when someone is being cheap...and you want to tell her not to be, but don't feel like spelling it out to them. Instead you use this acronym that she is clueless over and she wonders what you mean.

e.g., Situation: Chris drank your last beer and won't even offer to buy more when you mention that you are out of it. You: Ahh, I'm out of beer. Chris: That sucks. You: DBC!

submitted by penguin22 - (www)

dbs - Dumb Bitch Syndrome.

e.g., Your mom stole my liquor. She must suffer from DBS.

submitted by Eric

dcit - An acronym that stands for "don't call it that"; a running joke in the acclaimed TV series _Arrested Development_, first used by Michael Bluth to reprimand George Sr. for referring to Orange County as the "O.C." in the episode "For British Eyes Only." He does it again, only to GOB in "Making a Stand," and then again to Tobias in "S.O.B.s." It's now used to reprimand anyone who tries to coin an acronym or occasionally a turn of phrase that's unlikely to be widely adopted. In rare cases of abstraction, it is even used to reprimand someone who misapplies or misuses a term.

e.g., "Well, I saw it first in the "FBEO" episode." "What does FBEO mean?" "For British Eyes Only." "DCIT." {ED. Now do you understand what it means to use your new word, etc. in an example?}

submitted by L. J. Swingrover - (www)

ddr - Acronym for the dancing game by Konami, Dance Dance Revolution, which has been extended into a number of terms related to the game.

e.g., California has many good DDRtists, but Japan has the best. After dinner, we all went DDRing. Let's DDR.

submitted by Reynard

de bris - What's discarded after a ritual circumcision.

e.g., If debris makes you squeamish, I'd skip de bris if I were you.

submitted by wogerdodger

de minimis solis curat taguomo - (Pronounced to rhyme with "day-PIN-ih-miss-SOUL-kiss-BOO-not-cog-SLOW-mo"; Phrase) 1. Literally, "of trifles alone cares the taxman"---more colloquially, "The taxman cares only about [bureaucratic] minutiae"; 2. Metaphorically, a declaration that somebody is really being a seriously picky bean counter. [From the Latin _de_minimis_solis_curat_Lex_ "the law does not care about trifles." The word _taguomo_ is a conflation of _tagum_ (plural genetive of "tax" (had "tax" been of the same sort as "lex" and "rex")) and _homo_ (singular nominative Latin for "man." A _taguomo_, then, is the "taxman" from the Beatles' song "Sum ego Taguomo."]

e.g., "This itemization schedule is crazy! How am I ever gonna get through this? They want to know every single food purchase I bought on the company's dime! I don't remember that!" "Let me see ... Wow, you're right: 'de minimis solis curat taguomo.'" "What?" "I guess some people at the IRS are more anal than others."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

de-dirtify - Cleaning

e.g., Amanda de-dirtified the greasy surface.

submitted by Cat Bryant

de-funked - A way to describe something that was once in fashion, but now is not -- a now defunct trend, if you will.

e.g., Norma: What's happened to your Tamagotchi? Norman: I threw it out. Tamagotchis are de-funked now.

submitted by Sokky McSok

de-hottify - To go from extremely attractive, hot, and sexy to . . . to RoseAnne -- largely through gaining weight.

e.g., I was a babe in high school, but I thoroughly de-hottified when I had my baby.

submitted by ambyrle - (www)

de-mean - (v.) 1. To mitigate the hostility or nastiness in a given situation; 2. To temper the harshness in a document, e.g., a letter, a contract, vel cet.; 3. To ameliorate the attitude of one habitually cruel or hostile. Noun "de-meanor," Adjective "de-meaning" (ha ha) [An ironic re-use of the word "demean," the meaning of which is radically different from my "de-mean."]

e.g., I was so angry when I wrote that one legal opinion, another attorney had to de-mean it. | Dickens' A Christmas Carol is serious piece of de-meanor.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

de-nudulating - putting clothes on.

e.g., (On the phone)"...could you hold the line? I'm just de-nudulating myself..."

submitted by Aleezia

de-structions - Descriptions + instructions.

e.g., Read all destructions before assembling.

submitted by ReneeSkolar

deacon bluesit - To deliberately slur words when singing a song, because you don't know the correct lyrics. From Steely Dan's song Deacon Blues. Steely Dan's lyrics are often hard to understand at first listen.

e.g., If you don't have the 4th verse memorized by tomorrow nights gig, just Deacon Bluesit, and no one will know the difference.

submitted by Paul

dead cow's bottom - Rump steak.

e.g., I would like the dead cow's bottom, medium to well done, please, with a jacketed potato and salad.

submitted by Colin Taffel

dead man's hand - A poker hand of a full house with aces and eights, full either way. Named after the hand held by John Wesley Harding after he was murdered at a poker game in El Paso, 1909. (ED. Joel later wrote to say, "The original dead man's hand was from Wm Butler 'Wild Bill' Hickock: two pairs, aces & 8s, Deadwood, South Dakota, not John Wesley Hardin.")

e.g., Jim might win this one because he's holding a dead man's hand and nobody else can beat his full boat.

submitted by Joel Parker

dead presidents - Money, in bills.

e.g., The bank holds a lot of dead presidents.

submitted by Jerome Greco - (www)

dead-cat bounce - Wallstreet expression describing the phenomenon of a stock bottoming out to near-nil and then recovering with a sharp buying spree from bargin hunters. The notion being that even a dead-cat will bounce if dropped from a high enough point.

e.g., Enron stocks continue to experience a dead-cat bounce long after financial pundits considered the conglomerate a moribound interest.

submitted by Stephen Mize

deadbeef - Four-byte hexadecimal pattern indicating uninitialized or out-of-bounds condition.

e.g., See, when you dereference the pointer, all you get is deadbeef.

submitted by Gregory Bloom - (www)

deadcheck, the - A check to verify that someone is dead. The term could be applied to the check physicians perform following a execution.

e.g., 1. No, I have no interest at all in being one of the physicians who does the dead check. 2. "Sgt. Hutchins shot Mr. Awad with a three-round burst to the head to do the dead check," Thomas said.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

deadfall - A seedy drinking establishment, one of low repute.

e.g., Let's stop in this deadfall for a beer.

submitted by Loren Keeling

deadhorsing it - Flogging a joke, long past the point where any laughs remain.

e.g., Her joke about the priest and the rabbi was funny, but now she's deadhorsing it.

submitted by jessica

deadification - (n.) 1. Any reference to someone's having died, spoken as pompously as possible: generally reserved for comic effect; 2. The death of somebody (again, from long ago or in a movie or something; the word is never to be used to ridicule or deride someone's grief); 3. The astoundingly costly and cumbersome process of having one's body cut, cleaned, closed, coiffed, and coffined for viewing and burial, emphasizing the self-contradiction of the bereaved's feeling as though they have to go through the merciless expense of a wholly unnecessary tradition. [Sometimes, I think the obituaries should include a statement like "In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to cover the colossal cost of the funeral.]

e.g., "Okay, is this the part where the bad guy gets deadificated?" | "Hold up, everybody. Lissy: Nobody will be able to read your sign. And ... what does it say, anyway?" "Oh, it says 'CEASE THIS DIABOLICAL DEADIFICATION OF CETACEANS INFLATED OR EENSIE.' And on the other side, I put 'A SAPIENT HUMAN RATIONS THE CETACEANS.'" "Wow. Lissy ... I, um ..." "You don't like it? Sandy!: I worked on it for hours! I looked up all the words on that thesaurus page you showed me!" "No! No, Lissy: I think it's just great. Everyone is gonna remember this protest." "Really?" "Absolutely ... (Mike!)" "Sandy: what do you need? Are we ready?" "Um, yes and no: take some really clear shots of Lissy and her sign. Both sides. And take them to the_Daily Chronicle_office." "On it." "Well, at least we'll get some press." | "TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS?!" "It may go higher than that, depending on the cemetery costs." "ARE YOU MAD?: Where am I going to get $12,000?!! For a deadification?! It'd be cheaper to build a time machine and have him mummified!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

deadlion - Too late, expired, overdue.

e.g., Honey, I think that my library books are deadlion. | Would you pick me up a tin of truffles at the meat shop if the coupon isn't deadlion?

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

deadphone, monophone - Headphones which have died due to internal cable breakage. Monophones have sound coming out of only one speaker.

e.g., I haven't listened to my CD player in a while because all I have are deadphones.

submitted by Mike Sacco

deafacacatated - Hearing loss caused by verbal nonsense -- BS, in other words.

e.g., After five minutes of Chris's opening remarks, Carol became deafacacatated.

submitted by Susan

deafecation - Teacher's reponse to one too many kindergartner's hand-raisings.

e.g., Practising deafecation, the teacher said, "WHAT, again? I won't HEAR of it!"

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

deafinition - A perceived meaning of a word, without regard for its true meaning.

e.g., According to his deafinition, “penultimate” means final since he always referred to the last of anything as the “penultimate.”

submitted by Nonesuch

dealiemashindig - Dealie-ma-shindig. A medium size festive gathering of friends who haven't seen each other in a while.

e.g., We gotta have a dealiemashindig before school starts up again.

submitted by Dan

dealy - For a word you can't remember.

e.g., Marge, where's that metal dealy you use to dig food?

submitted by Steve

dealy-bopper - A special thing, the right thing, just what you need to do the job.

e.g., This little dealy-bopper here cost me plenty, but I'll be an ace with it in my hands.

submitted by Steve McDonald

dealywompus - Like thingamajig and dooflinkie. Just a goofy word for something that you are struggling to explain. You can see yourself waving your hands around struggling to spit out the word that you can't think of so you use "dealywompus" out of frustration.

e.g., I had to use the . . . the . . . the . . . friggin' dealywompus to fix the damn doorknob.

submitted by gkel

deaned - Being discovered misbehaving by a dean at school, subsequently being punished and sad.

e.g., Sssshhh, guys, or we'll get deaned.

submitted by Rachel Olivecrona

deanificate - Holding forth as a dean.

e.g., Dennis was deanificated when he was told that if he didn't stop his practical jokes he would have to tend bar weekends at the dean's receptions.

submitted by Frank Mandriota

death polka - The leftover electrical impulses in the body after death cause the arms and legs to flail about. Most often seen in gruesome action flicks.

e.g., I watched in horror as Ramon's body did the death polka.

submitted by Arik9

death rattle - smoker's cough

submitted by Greg

death- - Prefix used before food item to imply that the item is spicy to the degree that you are unable to eat it

e.g., My roommate cooked me up a death-omelet and I thought it was a real waste of food.

submitted by ditnis

deathiversary - the anniversary of a death.

e.g., It's the deathiversary of my grandfather tomorrow.

submitted by Zoe

deathquest - A search for a product (usually trivial) that becomes difficult and aggravating, thus more important. The implication being that one will search without rest until successful, or until death.

e.g., We had a hard time agreeing which video to rent. It became a deathquest.

submitted by Scott Marchus

deathritis - Pain from arthritis so bad you want to die

e.g., Gladys barely made it to the meeting with her deathritis keeping her down until 9.

submitted by Treesbarc

deathstarity - Acrobatic ability to fire off looks that kill from most any position in nearly any situation.

e.g., Glowering over her shoulder while simultaneously eating an ice cream cone and combing the poodle, Amanda's exhibited deathstarity that left Heathcliff pale and whimpering.

submitted by wogerdodger

deathstyle - Like a lifestyle, but with a focus on the potential negative consequences of a pattern of behavior.

e.g., I used to be a smoker, but then I decided I needed a change of deathstyle.

submitted by Purple Martin

debasement - Mafia term for "cellar."

e.g., "Yo, Chooch -- remember the 'Prof' who got Guido very, very angry?" "He said he would never lower himself to such a manner of debasement." "Hey -- now he's there anyway!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko

debatolatry - (Rhymes with key-state-ALL-a-tree; n.) The astoundingly shallow belief that watching a timed and televised debate somehow reveals (a) which candidate is better for the job of President or Vice-President (or Governor, or Senator, or Custodian, vel cet.); (b) the intricacies of the plans each candidate has for foreign policy and the economy in a way Jack and Jill Average can comprehend; (c) which candidate can analyze, weigh, and determine a safe course through deep philosophical differences with other nations and various factions within the United States. In reality, of course, such a debate accomplishes practically nothing with fence-sitters, panders to each candidate's already supporters, allows each side to create or avoid soundbites for informal campaign slogans, arms pompous pundits, and fives the political cartoonists pencil-fodder for a couple of weeks (sadly, the cartoonists are, for the most part, as firmly entrenched in their chosen parties as most of the voters, and the cartoons---one of the greatest (and most dangerous) tools of political commentary in history---are little more than the-other-guy-is-going-to-make-everything-worse eyebites).

e.g., Modern debatolatry began, perhaps, with the Kennedy vs Nixon debate in 1960. That business should have taught us something: when later polled, those who heard it on the radio said that Nixon had clearly won; those who saw the debate on television, however, said Kennedy had won. Political office should not be granted based on who looks better than the other; if so, Marilyn Monroe should have been in the audience while John Kennedy sang HER "Happy Birthday." Thinking on your feet is a great skill, much to be desired in a leader; knowing when it's time to pause and really think something through before reacting is an even better skill, especially when an issue requires deep reflection. But with a nation full of people who want everything done for them in a predictable little chunk of attention-span, you're ALWAYS gonna get de Neuvillette, not de Bergerac. You've just got to hope for a halfway decent support staff and a tolerable cabinet. Come to think of it, maybe we should really be voting for a Chief-of-Staff.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

debeautify - To make -- uglier -- it's torture to people who are really self-centered.

e.g., The only way to make her talk was to threaten to debeautify her.

submitted by snowboardinghockeyplayer3 - (www)

debocracy - The preferred choice of government applied in my classroom. A slightly flawed combination of democracy and momacracy.

e.g., "Mrs. T., that's not fair. I should be able to leave the lids off all the glue sticks. "Sorry, Buddy, but that's the rule. This is a debocracy, you know."

submitted by D.S. Tuxhorn

deboed - To take with authority.

e.g., Jonathan just deboed Jason's watch.

submitted by Robby

debrett - Expurgate, bowdlerize, prettify. . . . To remove material that offends Victorian sensibilities -- or replace it with something that not even Little Goody Two-Shoes would find offensive.

e.g., Once in a while a potential submitter gets upset when her submittal gets debretted. Thank God none of the looneys know where we live.

submitted by HD Fowler

debrief - To take off someone's underpants.

e.g., "So whaddaya gonna do once you get her in the conference room, Bobby? Ya' gonna debrief her, interrogate her, interview her, question her, or somethin' else?" "Debriefing sounds like it would be the most fun."

submitted by HD Fowler

debt with dignity - No longer will you be harassed with threatening letters or troubling phone calls. Relax, for the time being.

e.g., But eventually you will suddenly be whisked off to Mars, the new debtor's prison -- all very discreet. It's debt with dignity.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

debtionary - The location for words I've invented . . . complete and unabridged.

e.g., "Mrs. T., 'confoodled' isn't in the dictionary." "You're right. It's in the debtionary right next to 'debocracy.'"

submitted by D.S. Tuxhorn

debtitor - A person, employee, or manager who twists around the amount of money her company owes.

e.g., Enron's president is the world's biggest debtitor right now.

submitted by PPM - (www)

debubbletize - To pop all the air bubbles in your bubble wrap.

e.g., I can no longer enjoy this peice of bubble wrap--it's already been debubbletized.

submitted by Jessie

debuno - (deb-ew-no) (verb) To go or act crazy. (Noun) an insane or crazy person.

e.g., Mrs. B went debuno on the class when she saw kids throwing books out the window. | Ever since kids threw books out the window Mrs. B became a debuno.

submitted by Miss McCann

debutart - Debutante + tart, "a debutante of easy morals." Celebutantes, celebutards, celebutardts, celebutarts, debutards, debutardts, and debutarts all share that common characteristic.  
 
Far from being a neologism, this slang for "a woman of easy morals" has been around at least since the 1940s. I don't remember what I was doing,(See here.) but I happened across it in the "monumental American Thesaurus of Slang by Lester V. Berrey and Melvin Van Bark (Thomas Y. Crowell, 1952), which covers everything" (Paul Dickson, Slang, 1988).

 
 
H. W. JONES BERRY, LESTER V., and VAN DEN BARK, MELVIN. The American Thesaurus of Slang. 1,174 pp. Thomas Y. Crowell Company, New York, 1942. $5.00.  
 
Here is a complete reference work of modern slang and colloquial speech. It follows the same plan of Roget's International Thesaurus, that is, words which are grouped under ideas, with the addition of a complete index. The book has been in the process of production for ten years and has no counterpart except Roget. The reader is amazed at the completeness and minuteness of detail which he encounters and the authors may be said to have filled the last gap in the study of American slang. With Roget's and Mencken's classics, and now with this splendid contribution, we may well say that the American language is covered. In the opinion of the reviewer this volume is indispensable in the armamentarium of the modern librarian.
Among the ~200 entries at 439. Woman of easy morals were these previously unknown to me designations for a woman of easy virtue: demi-rep, faloosie (The unusual spelling is what's new to me.), fizgig, fluzie (sp), frail flossie, gay1 wench, gay woman, gill, hard-boiled baby, huzzie (sp.), jane, Kate, pashy petter, sack, scrunch, slack-puller, speed-dame, speedster, swift baby, touchable, tough baby, traipsing twerp, wild party, wised-up babe, zipper-moraled Susie, Madamoizook (the French variety).
1 How many people these days are familiar with a dated meaning of gay, still being used in the 1940s, when The American Thesaurus of Slang (TATS) was published? "debauched: leading a debauched or dissolute life."
My own copy of TATS came through an estate sale. It might not be an overstatement to call the worn copy in my hands a word lover's treasure, annotated as it is by the book's previous owner.
Judging from the address embossed on the first blank page at the front of the book, I have to think "estate" is the right word. "Mr. Brown" lived in Tulsa Oklahoma's longest-established high-rent district. He's the only person I've ever seen who writes smaller than I do. I'll have to locate a magnifying glass to read his notes, especially his cross-references. I'll miss too many goodies otherwise.  
 
I'm going to check online bookstores to see if I can find copies for sale -- and hope I can afford them. (Whatever copies were going for when I first wrote this, about the cheapest I can find now is $70.00 -- and at least one is offered for ~$350.00. That's too much for my pocketbook. [And now, two years later, this: " We're sorry, the book can not be found in any store.") I'd like to send copies to my grandkids for Christmas. Strangely enough, I think all except the youngest (a four-year-old) would be quite pleased. (Hmmm, strange that I should think that or strange that they might well like an old slang thesaurus as a gift?)
Brown seems to have had an abiding interest not only in oil field slang, but also in the slang used to describe the "naughty parts" of the body . . . as well as the associated bodily fluids and functions. In addition, he made several notes for drunkenness, my favorite being "drunker than a waltzing piss-ant" -- the waltzing part being what is new to me. TATS itself has three full pages for drunk and dead drunk.
Do you still wonder what someone has in mind when she says "I like pie" or "Pie is good?" Uni-poster lulupie asked us about that oncet upon a time. Finding "pie, piece, and piece of tail" in a single character string in TATS removes any lingering doubt for me. (To be truthful -- always the best policy -- there never was any doubt for me.) So, I'll now give a definite answer to lulupie: Yes, my dear, "I like pie" and "Pie is good" do have a sexual meaning.
. . . Having come across this entry while doing some clean-up, I re-googled and found a review of TATS, from "Monday, Mar. 02, 1942." The style of the date is antiquarian, and so is some of the language in the review.
Time Magazine | U.S. Slang | Monday, Mar. 02, 1942

THE AMERICAN THESAURUS OF SLANG-Lester V. Berrey and Melvin Van den Bark - Crowell ($5).

Lester V. Berrey has been at work on this absorbing, 1,174-page thesaurus since 1931. He got special checking help from such experts as Bing Crosby (on music), Variety's Jack Edward (entertainment slang), John A. Leslie of Ohio State Prison on the language of tramps and the underworld. His collaborator, Nebraskan Philologist Melvin Van den Bark, worked out the main outlines of classification and groupings of words. In general these follow Roget but they culminate in 430 highly readable pages on "Special Slang" of various trades, sports and regions. That section alone will probably help more third-rate novelists look like second-raters than any previous book in history.

Everything, it seems at first, is in this book; such ghoulish, semi-slang tintypes as "God's image cut in ebony" (for Negro); such beautifully graphic trade terms as the miner's "snow" (for the sifting of earth presaging a cave-in), the ballplayer's "floater" (for a slow ball), the prostitute's "pivot" (for solicitation from a window). Practically all the unmailable words turn up, along with a tremendous set of their variants and embellishments. So does the surrealist language of drug addicts, the high-heeled dialect of perverts, the likable archaisms of lumberjacks (they still say "whitewater bucko"), and the shoptalk of the stock exchange and of the turf, which significantly share such terms as "sleeper," "tip sheet" and "past performance."

A complete job on U.S. slang is beyond human compass. "God-box" is given for Church but not for organ. "Profile" is curiously absent from journalistic slang. The Hollywood section fails to include "ootchimagootchi" (hot talk as an obbligato to Latin lovemaking), though it does give "wrinkle" (an actress' mother).

There are many other omissions; but on the whole, for every ten words any reader will miss, he will recognize a thousand and learn at least fifty. Thanks to the form of the book, even the mildest categories read like nothing since Rabelais:

"Interj. 10. CEASE!; STOP! Avast! belay that or there!, bottle it!, break it off!, can it!, cheese it!, cheezit!, chuck it!, come off (of it)!, come off the grass!, curl up!, cut it (out) !, douse it!, dowse it!, drop it!, enuff!, fade away!, freeze!, hold on!, hold up!, kill it!, lay off!, leave off!, let up!, nix!, nix on that!, ring off!, sign off!, siphon off!, sound off!, stow it!, turn it off!, whoa Bill!, whoa Maud!, whoa Mud!, whoa there!"

Or. in another dialect (the newspaperman's) : 30.

While I continue to marvel at the completeness of the thesaurus with its more than 100,000 slang words, the review reminds us how daunting it is to come up with more than a snapshot of the slang of any given moment. You might as well try to catch a bird in flight with your bare hands. . . . Wait, that's something I've done more than once. Hummingbirds only. With the aid of a window in a stairwell, I held three hummingbirds in my hands in the space of about two minutes. They're even tinier than you might think -- what you see is mostly feathers.

e.g., There were only a few internet references to Paris Hilton as a debutart. The designation is obvious enough and may fit her even better than celebutard or celebutart, given that it was a pornographic video that brought her her notoriety -- and turned the celebutart into a celebrity. Would it be fair to call Paris Hilton a bimbo? I don't know. Is she stupid?

 
 
David West Brown | University of Michigan In 1939, Walter Winchell coined celebutante in recognition of young Brenda Frazier's status and fame. More recently, celebu- has detached and become a productive combining form. Part of that productivity can be ascribed to its felicitous phonological properties. Many celebu- coinages, however, appear in blogs. Thus, the productivity of celebu- results from the specific register conditions of blogs. The specific case of celebu- reveals much about these conditions — the need for semantic economy, the saliency of humor, the function of nominalization, as well as the role of critique and sometimes cruelty. Additionally, celebu- coinages illustrate how blogs have emerged as sites of linguistic innovation.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

debutaunt - Verbally disparaging a parent's sister who is making her first public performance. (This "invention" was quite satisfying -- a three level meaning in one word!)

e.g., Although she was a pretty good singer, we just couldn't help but debutaunt.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

debute - A combination of debate and dispute together.

e.g., While in a deep discussion with a friend I yelled,"That's it, I'm not going to debute this with you anymore!" We laughed and that's how it came to be.

submitted by Tiffany

decadance - A process, condition, or period of deterioration or decline in moral standards whilst boogying, shimmying, and doing the shuffle on the dance floor.

e.g., Youngsters today are full of decadance. Not like when I was their age. Oh, no.

submitted by jonty Reason - (www)

decaf - Relax, chill out.

e.g., Decaf, Willie. I shipped the parcels yesterday morning. They should be there this afternoon.

submitted by Paul d'Aoust

decafalon - The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. (Washington Post Style Invitational.)

e.g., I'm worn out from all the decafalons I've been in this month. I want a jelly donut.

submitted by HD Fowler

decakilonym - The name for the ten-thousandth element in any list.

e.g., My word was selected as the decakilonym.

submitted by Stephen Mize

decap - To remove the capitalization of a proper name, usually a product, indicating that it's ubiquitous.

e.g., Watch as I decap the internet and world wide web. There, I did it.

submitted by i_monk

decapacitate - An act of violence intended to remove the subject from a situation. A step beyond "incapacitate."

e.g., I swear, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna decapacitate you.

submitted by Puck

decapacitated - Incapable of action due to lack of a functioning head.

e.g., As the evening wore on, Chris became decapacitated as usual. Too much to drink..

submitted by Susan

decar - To get out of a car. Similar to "deplane," an existing word.

e.g., We have stopped, so you may now decar. (ED. Would you please get out of decar?)

submitted by Mike C

deceipt - (Pronounced dee-SEET; n.) A padded or falsified bill, price tag, or reimbusement request.

e.g., "A $300 lunch meeting?!" "There were a lot of people." "At least five, I hope: otherwise, this is a deceipt. . . . What did you eat?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

deceivening - The most dishonest time of day.

e.g., When are people most likely to lie? Deceivening.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

deceivious - Both deceitful and devious.

e.g., I didn't trust him after seeing his deceivious smile.

submitted by nellie

december - When you decide to remember something.

e.g., I repeated her name to myself 100 times, to make sure I decembered her name.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

december 11, 2015+ - "Go have some Ben and Jerry's and get a pedicure. You'll feel better." Saw that as putdown on an Internet comment thread several months or years ago and saved it as a possible tagline or signature for myself. When I was talking to my friend Travis a couple of days ago, he told me he has been getting foot massages and pedicures for years. No, not a fetish -- not as far as I know. His wife had Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis and he had a nurse come in every six weeks or so to give her pedicures and foot massages. He must have thought it looked like a good deal, so he started getting them himself. For years I took Melba to a podiatrist to get her toenails clipped, but no toenail polish -- a no-no for anyone with diabetic neuropathy. When I took her to the beauty shop to get her hair done, sometimes I'd have them give her manicures and pedicures since she was no longer able to do them herself. I considered doing fer feet myself, but thought better of the idea -- figuring she might end up in more pain than she was already in. I'm going to suggest the subject as an e-mail signature for Travis. (... Done, by voicemail. Better than to forget to send him an e-mail.) I thought of sending Travis a copy of this, but I'm going to mention a hole in our care system for the elderly that he doesn't know I discovered a couple of weeks ago. The last time I talked to Jim was on July 26, 2015, according to my cell phone record. Next time I called, I ran into a telephone company message his telephone number had been change and that no new number was available. Sounded reasonable that he would change his phone number, because he told me in our last conversationi that he had been getting annoying telephone calls from someone trying to get him to make an investment -- with all the signs of it being a scam. I said, "Next time you get a call, tell the guy you're very interested in putting in some money, but that you can't talk right now. Ask him to give you a call-back number for later. Then give the number to me and I'll get them off your back. I may string them along for a while until I get bored, but I'll eventually make them sorry they ever wasted their time with you." I figured if I was wasting their time, then they'd have less time to catch some fish. Next time I called Jim, I couldn't reach him. My guess was that he had decided to solve his annoying-phone-call problem himself. I figured he would give me a call soon and tell me what his new telephone number was. He never called. Up until recently, I've checked with his brother Bob once in a while to see if Jim ever called and gave him a new number. All Bob has heard from Jim since last July came in a September "note" that didn't include a new telephone number. Since Jim lives only about a half-hour from Scott, I dropped by his apartment before coming to Scott's. Brogan and Scott were still at work when I got to the KC area. Had time enough to get over to Lawrence, see Jim, and get his new telephone number. ... And also pull a joke on him. Knocked on his apartment door. It wasn't unexpected, but he came to the door naked. it was obvious that he had been sitting around naked until he heard my knock. I was well aware of that eccentricity. When I called the apartment manager one time when I couldn't reach him for several days, I asked her to check on him. I gave her a heads-up: "He doesn't wear any clothes when he's in his apartment by himself." She said, "We know." A couple of years ago he got charged with indecent exposure and had been given a court date to appear. He thought he could blow it off because "there's a relaxed attitude about nudity in Europe" where he had been stationed for several or many years. "Jim, you're not in Europe. You're in the middle of the Bible Belt in Kansas -- where the attitude about indecent exposure is anything but relaxed. No one wants to see your old man's junk." I located a lawyer for him, then called Bob and told him what the situation was -- that it was essential that Jim get lawyered up. Bob mad sure he did and the charges were dropped. Bob asked me not to mention it to anyone -- meaning anyone in Searcy County -- and I never have. Another time, Deanna (my sister) was on the phone talking to him. He set the phone down to do something and never came back. Deanna called me, frantic. She thought he must have had a heart attack. I told her I'd take care of it for her. After not being able to get through myself, I called the Lawrence police and asked them to check on his well-being. Nothing else to do in the middle of the night. Later, Jim called me -- mad at me -- and asked me if I was the one who had called the police on him. I said, "Jim, your carcass isn't going to go to rot on my watch." He said, "just a minute, I need to put some clothes on." It was obvious that he didn't recognize me. When he came back to the door, he had thrown on some overalls. Still barefooted, the first thing I noticed was how filthy his feet were. Then I noticed that his carpet and a big, dark brown ring on it, more or less an oval about two feet wid and three feet long. It looked as if he had let in his dog when it had muddy feet and let it run around. Since he didn't know me, I passed myself off as a delivery man -- with what I was delivering being a six-pack of enemas. Short story: he figured out right away that the enemas must have been sent as a gag either by his brother -- or by his friend Mike, confirming that he didn't know who I was. "Bob's always telling me I'm full of shit," he said. I asked him about his friend "Mike." He said Mike's a really smart guy, but he doesn't have any common sense. Then he said. "Mike's a social misfit." (Pot calling kettle black.) When I asked him for his telephone number., he wondered why I wanted it. I said something along the lines of calling back to see if the delivery service had been adequate. He went over to his dead computer and read from a note: 785-749-1933. That's the number I've been calling him on since 2004. He said his telephone wasn't working, but that he was having someone come out "tomorrow" to fix it. Don't remember what pretext (a pretext, but not a lie) I used for calling Bob -- but might have "lied to him" about why I had Bob's number. I called Bob and talked to him briefly. I let Bob know that Jim was in need of help and then put Jim on the line. The two of them talked for a while. There would have been no reason for Bob to realize anything was wrong if I hadn't told him. Bob wanted to talk to me again, but I begged off. (I had other things on my mind: car problems and needing to get over to Scott's.) I knew I'd be able to call Bob within a few minutes. Then I took my leave, intending to drive to Westwood, KS, to Brogan & Scott's. No go. My transmission completely went out on me. I had to get my car towed to a transmission repair shop. ~$2300 to have the transmission rebuilt -- plus enough other work (brake pads, regrinding, etc.) to bring my total bill to $2692.48. That just solidifies my determination to get the body work done and keep the car until I go to my grave. Gave me impetus to called the woman who caused the accident a second time. I got her voicemail and left a second message, mostly repeating what I had said before. I had called her in February to ask her to go to the sheriff's office with me to meet with the deputy sheriff who wrote the accident report to get it corrected. She didn't return that call. I thought it was worth one more shot to try to get her to do the right thing. I told her my latest "investment" made me even more determined than I had been before to seek justice. I told her I would definitely pursue a case in small claims court if she didn't do what she should: the right thing, admit that the wreck was 100% her fault because she made an illegal turn from the middle lane right in front of me. I had two legal choices of what to do: either go straight ahead or turn left. I slammed on my brakes when I saw her but couldn't stop before we collided. I never left the lane I was in. I told her I might well end up paying a couple hundred dollars for nothing more than the satisfaction of putting her in a position where she either told the truth or committed perjury. Doing that would be a felony, given that a lie under oath would be consequential to the tune of ~$4,000 to $6,000. Estimates to repair my car have ranged from $3,900+ to $4,400+. She (Amy Elliott) has submitted a claim for $2,000 on her truck. ~$200 to replace the tire (the only point of contact between our vehicles) and alleged damage of $1,800 to the rocker panel. Charlie, when her husband was at the scene of the accident, I said, "Well, at least no damage was done to the truck." He said that the rear axle might have been damaged -- but it was plain to see that no other damage was done. White paint from my car was left on the tire, and "shavings" from the tire and a black streak ended up on my bumper. (Can't remember if I've told you before what happened, so I may be repeating myself. Nothing will change -- because if I have described what happened, I'll be saying the same thing again -- the truth. (Since I can't find "December 11" in any e-mails, I must never have told you.0 I bought in to her telling me we were blocking three lanes of traffic and that we should unblock two lanes by moving out of the way. I fell for it -- and didn't think to take pictures beforehand. I'm convinced that her husband told her to do that when she called him -- to make it look as if the accident was at least partially my fault. We told the deputy sheriff when she arrived that we had moved our vehicles to keep from blocking so many lanes of traffic. If the deputy sheriff had done what she should have done before having us move to a nearby movie theater parking lot, she would have noted where the debris from the accident was in the the road -- the northernmost lane going east, and mostly in the far side of the middle lane going north. The debris could have been left there only if the woman made a left turn from the middle lane. I am absolutely convinced that she lied and told the deputy sheriff that she had turned from the leftmost lane, and not from the middle lane. That would have her admitting that she was turning into the wrong lane, but not from the middle lane -- the illegal left turn she in actuality made. When we got to the parking lot, I fiddled around for a couple of minutes taking a new pair of sunglasses I had just bought at Costco out of the packaging. The bright sun had bothered my eyes after I got out of my car at the scene of the accident and didn't want a repeat. By the time I got to the deputy sheriff with my driver's license and insurance card, the woman had had time to tell her version of what had happened. All the DS did was take my information and go over to her car -- presumably first checking for warrants. After a couple of minutes, I walked over. She looked up and in a not friendly voice said, "What do you want?" I said, "I want to make sure you're noting that the cause of the accident was her making an illegal left turn from the middle lane." She then snapped at me, "I know how to do my job." Unfortunately, I backed off rather than say, "Why don't you talk to both of us at the same time and hear what we each have to say." ... Anyway, she wrote up a report that said I was 50% responsible for the accident -- claiming I had changed lanes at the intersection. I did no such thing. And I wasn't t0% responsible for the accident. I was 0% responsible. Last time I talked to State Farm I told who[m]ever I was talking to what I have written here. Not word for word, but close enough. I must have watched a Rocky movie a day or so before the December 11, ~12:45 pm, accident. I say that because I used the word absolutely at least twice when the insurance investigator(?) asked me questions. I was absolutely not at fault in any way, so it's maybe not so surprising that I used a word I rarely use. Blogged January 23, 2016. I think my negligence may be due at least in part to a fender bender I was in on December 11. A woman in the lane to my right made an illegal left turn right in front of me. Maybe a professional stunt driver could have avoided hitting the big (to me) truck , but I couldn't. One repair estimate is $3900+, the other $4400+. Either exceeds the value of the car. I'm bound and determined to keep my care, given that it's the last one Melba and I bought. I intend for it to be the last car I buy, too. How the sheriff's deputy managed to conclude that I had wandered out of my lane is beyond my ken. But maybe not. She didn't ask me anything about what happened, but the other driver talked to her quite a while as I was rummaging around in my car trying to find my insurance information. I walked over to the cop while she was writing her report. She asked what I needed and I said "I just want to make sure you're showing that the accident occurred after she made a left turn in front of me." She snapped at me, "I know how to do my job." I gots my doubts about that. I think maybe I'm at a disadvantage because I'm an old, white, man. Anyway, the upshot is that the other driver's insurance company (Travelers) says it will only pay half the cost of the repairs -- because the adjuster has concluded that I'm 50% responsible for the accident. (Or half what their appraiser says the car is worth: totalled -- for damage confined to about one cubic foot around the bumper and passenger side headlight. Farts for a twenty-year-old Cadillac Fleetwood are might expensive -- given the difficulty of finding salvaged parts.) I'm trying to get that changed, given that it's wrong. The only reason there was an accident is that the other driver turned left right in front of me, from a lane not marked to allow left turns. Getting anything changed will more than likely depend on the other driver telling the truth. Fat chance? Maybe. The insurance adjuster hasn't talked to her yet. When she called, the husband answered. He said his wife was making a left turn, but I'm sure he didn't say it was from the middle lane. Most other intersections in the vicinity are marked to allow such turns. He wasn't there until several minutes after the accident, by which time both of us had moved our vehicles to keep from blocking traffic. The woman suggested it -- and now I think I may have allowed myself to be manipulated. Possibly at her husband's behest. If it was a ruse, I fell for it. When we collided, the woman had to have been mostly or completely in the easternmost lane, going north by then --having turned north from going east -- from the middle of three lanes. There were also three lanes going north -- so that would have been an illegal turn even if the lane she was driving in had been marked to allow for either going straight or turning left. Northernmost curb lane going east to westernmost curb lane going north, and middle lane going east to middle lane going north -- provided the middle lane is marked to allow left turns. Southernmost curb lane can legally only go east at the intersection in question. Same for the middle lane. I was in the northernmost lane, going east -- and, given that there were no lane markings at all, could legally either turn left or go straight ahead. I went straight ahead -- until my right front bumper collided with the driver's side rear tire on the truck. The truck, as near as I could tell, was completely undamaged. Have some "black stuff" on the white molding at the front of my car -- a pretty good indication that the right front fender hit the tire, as I said. That would have been pretty hard to do if I had "wandered into the wrong lane" with both of us going east until she turned left, to the north. Anyway, I've been like a dog with a bone, fretting about it. I've asked the adjuster to call the woman to see if she will tell the truth about what happened. A little later this morning, I'll call the adjuster and remind her that the husband has already told her his wife was making a left turn. Given that the only lane from which a left turn can be made legally is the curb lane which I was in, I obviously couldn't have "wandered" into that lane and caused the accident that was reported. I'll also be going to a nearby sheriff's office to get a copy of the accident report. I've been once, but the office was closed. I've been sick since then and have no interest in going anywhere at all until the weather gets warmer. Far more than enough. A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Mike

e.g., Looked at the input queue for your entry -- not realizing that I'd get something much better, an emeal from the top banana, but second-billed member of the Machiavellean & Lesko vaudeville team. (Did I use that recently?) Don't know how to generat a pd link for my most recent blog entry, an unabridged version of of my most recent pd entry. (Don't know what character string the pd back-end generates as a link for The Wainwright Phenomenon | Machiavellean Speculation. Does the «string» show the special characters proberly on your monitor when you look at the pd entry? What I see is this: �Unabridged�. If others are seeing the special characters as trash, I may need to stop using them. So far I haven't found anything to make them display properly on my computer. Doesn't matter what browser I use, I see trash with all of them. Added a sentence to the exchange below: There's no one I'd rather share a brain with. Charlie, that ranks right up there with my saying about Scott, "If I had my life to live over, he's the man I'd want to be." Subject: Garret got the pd working again and I've added your new entries. Date: Sun, 10 Apr 2016 13:14:23 -0400 From: ab To: mikeweaver@entouch.net A real enjoyable update, my friend. It's apparent that you're determined to be "up and about" instead of sitting home alone. Good for you! I got a major chuckle from your Alamo Drafthouse theater story, and, yes, it did motivate a M&L moment. (And not my entry, but a "true" M&L). It's nothing earth shaking, but pertinent, I believe. Here it is: "pop" corn -- An ironic financial arrangement whereby adult children "treat" their father by purchasing his movie ticket and he pays for the snacks. However, the extensive and expensive modern movie fare means that Dad pays out several times the price of a ticket. i.e., Thanks, kids, and I don't mean to rue it,. you want to buy my ticket, and it's kind of you to do it, but I'm left broke and financially forlorn. when it costs me eighty dollars to buy the "pop" corn! Am finally out of the aging birthday doldrums and into bad weather depression. April has brought more snow and cold than we had all winter. It looks like the Canadians are getting even for our stronger dollar by shipping Artic air that keeps us indoors for weeks. However, with our part of the planet moving so much closer to the sun, the cold weather can't last. (Can't it?). Please keep up the engaging reports -- they make my day! Love from Anne and me, Charlie From: Mike To: Scott Cc: Charlie Sent: Sat, Apr 9, 2016 6:02 am Subject: Garret got the pd working again and I've added your new entries. Since some of them needed editing to add line-breaks and paragraphs, I've read them -- for a change. Your entry for "dimmercraft" clearly was sent in before you were finished with it. Still at Scott's and am having a good time. Don't know how long I'll be here. Went to a movie with Scott and Brogan a couple of days ago. When Brogan called from work to ask me if I'd like to go to a movie with them, I said yes, if you'll let me buy the tickets. She said she had already bought the tickets online, but that I could buy the popcorn. Turns out that "popcorn" at an Alamo Drafthouse movie theater is a lot more than pocorn and soda -- it can be alcoholic beverages and a meal if you go that route. We did. With a tip added to an $80+ tab, I went to my first $100 movie. A long way from the 12¢ (or less) movies I went to as an Arkansas hillbilly in the 1940s and 1950s. Gladly paid the tab to spend a couple of hours with them. Haven't mentioned it to Brogan or Scott, but next time they invite me to a movie, I may say, "Sure, I'll go with you. I'll buy the tickets; you buy the 'popcorn.'" ------------------------------------------- Sending a copy of this to Charlie, hoping to end up with either an SME entry or a Machiavellean & Lesko entry for popcorn. The way our vaudeville team has been working, Scott, is that I come up with a "word" and then Charlie does all the creative work. That's definitely the best way for us to work as a team. I'm happy to play second banana to him, especially since he insisted that I get top billing. There's no one I'd rather share a brain with. Charlie, I'm sitting here pounding my keyboard, wearing my Deposit t-shirt. I wear it more often than any of the ~200 "blouses" I have in my closets. Some go back thirty years and more, but I'm not ready to give them up. The Catskills Forestry Association knife you gave me? Have it here with me at Scott's. Yes, I use it more than any other knife I own. ------------------------------------------- Haven't figured out where I'll go for my "last long road trip" -- which I thought might be the one I'm on now until my transmission went kaput. Have several friends in the Denver area and family in Las Vegas, Phoenix, and Tuscon (I think) -- so my final excursion may well be to the West rather than to the South, North, or East. My nephew Kyle got cold feet and backed out of his October wedding in Florida, so I'm unlikely to ever go to Florida again. Just as well. The worst part of my trip back to Houston from Carlisle was driving on I-10 across southern Louisiana. Swamps on both sides of the road, and no way to get around the almost bumper-to-bumper traffic from just east of Baton Rouge to St. Charles. I figure that slowed me down about an hour on my long drive back from Carlisle. Will never -- and I guarantee you -- never drive 1500+ miles in one day again -- ~1530 miles in 23 hours 48 minutes. Paula (Melba's 14.5 years younger sister) and Ron want to meet up with me this summer in New Orleans, his home town. I'll probably go, but that's certainly not the time of the year to be going to New Orleans. Time to stop typing and start sleeping. Have a great weekend. Mike PS. Copy of thank you "note" to Garret to follow, maybe later today. Turned it into a tome, too. I've become Bob Ginivan, of whom my boss, Paul, said, "He speaketh in paragraphs" Bob was easily the best Personnel Department guy I ever encountered. I think part of it came because he started working before that crowd gave themselves the hyper-inflated name Human Resources. Kingmakers, my ass.

submitted by December 11, 2015+

decendent - Descendant. Possibly confused by the spelling of decedent.

e.g., "Why would anyone blame [Ben Affleck] for his ancestors’ [owning slaves]. This country is full of great people, many of whom are decendents of less-than-perfect individuals. If anything it’s an indicator of the growth of humankind." What Ben Affleck should be embarrassed about are his efforts to keep his slave-owning ancestors’ names out of the series. You’re getting what you deserve for your efforts, Ben -- more awareness about your slavery roots than would otherwise have been the case. It’s not what happened in a bygone era that’s your problem, it’s your recent attempt at a cover-up. PS. Whatever anyone may think of Ben Affleck, there's little danger that anyone outside his immediate family will think of him as a great person.

submitted by [Miss Speller] - (www)

decent - A very common misspelling of descent. I doubt that it will replace the old spelling no matter how much it's used. I've also seen descent spelled as decesnt, but I don't expect to see that spelling again.

e.g., "Germany was not interested in fighting us, and honestly most Americans weren't interested in fighting Germany due to the number of Americans with German decent." | "I am a first generation AMERICAN of Portuguese decent." | "I am of Irish decent, who where well know friends and supporters of the Spanish in Europe." | "I agree 100%. If anyone asks me I am an American. If they press then I am and American of Polish/Irish decent." | "I’m an American of Italian decent." | "I am an American first and foremost and of Cuban decent second." | "I’m an American of Mexican decesnt."

submitted by Miss Speller

deceptacon - A person suspected of being a liar, or untruthful.

e.g., "Don't trust Jimmy. I think he might be a Deceptacon."

submitted by Finley

decepticon - Someone who looks good from behind (or in poor lighting) but horrid when they turn around. |

(dee-SEP-tick-on; n.) 1. A really good-looking muscle car, monster truck, or semi, especially if it's painted in super-high gloss and carries a load of chrome. (adj.) 2. Of or pertaining to such a vehicle. [From the Transformers toys, cartoons, and movie franchise.]

e.g., On TV, Calista Flockheart looks pretty good, but in person she looks like Golem from The Hobbit! Serious decepticon. |

"Whoa! Check out that Camaro!" "That is so totally decepticon!"

submitted by limbodog | Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

decevious - Adjective to describe one who lies and is shady.

e.g., You mean she called him and said she was sick and then went to the party and hooked up with another guy? That's decevious.

submitted by Jessica

dechain - To avoid or boycott chain stores and instead find the same products and services through local enterprises or nativists.

e.g., After the city of Moncton dechained from the stranglehold of large corporations, the native shops prevailed once again.

submitted by Dylan Ferris - (www)

decide and announce - A usually dysfunctional meeting here the boss announces which secret decisions will now be part of the staff's work plans and objectives. Often preceded by short notice, lack of an agenda, and no background material. Such quick action is often taken to prevent rumors from gaining a foothold.

e.g., We're going to have a decide and announce on our new product strategy after lunch today.

submitted by Ross

decievery - Decieving (sic) someone so you can steal his ideas or property.

e.g., She committed a major act of decievery when she asked to take a look at his screenplay, and then produced something similar.

submitted by Mia Franze

decifer - To procrastinate when one should be doing homework.

e.g., He left his assignment until the last minute because he spent too much time decifering on IRC.

submitted by Samah

decimaholic - One who talks loudly when consuming alcohol.

e.g., Her decimaholism left others wishing they'd worn earplugs.

submitted by Marci

decipient - A person who did not receive what he or she is supposed to receive in a distribution. adj. describing a method or system where a considerable amount of intended recipients do not receive what they need to receive.

e.g., You need to call your credit card company if you never got your bill when you expected it. You could have been an unlucky decipient of errors made by the U.S. Postal Service.

submitted by MD Caruso

deck - Similar to cool.

e.g., Mid-town Manhattan is nowhere near as deck as downtown Manhattan, with the exception of Korea Town, because mochi is completely deck.

submitted by Terry Johnson - (www)

deck of smokes - Western Canadian for what Americans call a pack of cigarettes.

e.g., How much does a deck of smokes go for these days? | I've seen better go for a deck of smokes. (A variation of what Frank E.J. Jeffries would say of a young woman whose attractiveness I might remark on: I've seen better go far a bar of soap. What Frank was speaking of, of course, was what it might cost to purchase the services of a lady of the evening for the evening. Search though I have, I've never found Frank's merchant marine expression used other than by him.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

deck-chairs - Private schoolboys or schoolgirls forced to wear, under the rules of their "school uniform policy," a multi-coloured, vertically striped blazer -- a design not unlike that often found adorning the canvas of traditional wooden deck-chairs.

e.g., The Richmond train was crammed full with rowdy deck-chairs this morning.

submitted by Helen

deckcandy - Gorgeous girls in bikinis on boats.

e.g., As the yacht cruised by the dock where he was fishing, Joe stared wistfully at the deckcandy lounging around.

submitted by Rush Bergman

deckerating - Like decorating but the early bit of the process involving nice big power tools.

e.g., When Janet came in from work the bedroom was full of holes, plaster, sawdust and beer bottles. John had been deckerating again.

submitted by Brave Sir Robin

decket - A map with descriptions of each level of something that has levels. For example, a building, a dream, or a complex screenplay

e.g., Here's a decket to help you understand how it's set up.

submitted by David Rutter - (www)

deckler - A bingo player who plays more than one deck of bingo cards.

e.g., My friend Donna is a decker player of obvious talent. She deckles every time we play bingo. Her deckles are filled with colorful ognibs.

submitted by Diane Harirs

declineation - A refusal to accept.

e.g., I accept your declineation of the job offer.

submitted by Bruce - (www)

decoffinated - Exhumed, perhaps for further forensic examination, or to be moved to another burial ground, or possibly to be cremated.

e.g., In the old days it was perhaps not uncommon for a rich person to be decoffinated by rude ruffians, intent on robbing the helpless bejeweled corpses.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

decomplish - To have one's acomplishment undone.

e.g., Joe finally reached the summit of Mt. Everest, only to be decomplished by an avalanche.

submitted by Ally

decompuflation - The driving force that is responsible for the price of any computer item you buy falling rapidly as soon as you buy it.

e.g., If decompuflation operated in the automobile industry, your next Chevy would go 700 MPH and cost $87.95.

submitted by Jeffrey Piter - (www)

decorpotate - (dee-CORE-puh-tate; v.) To cut off someone's head, to decapitate. [Note that, (1) since the brain is in the head, and (2) the body can neither act nor feel anything without the brain, it is logical to assume that a person beheaded feels (assuming they feel anything) their body being severed rather than their head falling off. The new word reverses the traditional notion.] "Decorpotate," is of course Latinate; the Anglo-Saxon cognate would be "BEBODY."

e.g., During the French Revolution, thousands were bebodied---that is, decorpotated---by the guillotine.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

decrapulated - A combination of the words decrepit, dilapidated, and crap.

e.g., That house is decrapulated.

submitted by Dave Stanley

decreasements - The measurements at any given dimension.

e.g., The decreasements of the dimensions are approximately 87 by 92.

submitted by Laura

decrepitography - The study of the hills and valleys on that develop on our faces as we get older.

e.g., I think gerontologists should be called decrepitologists -- and that they should spend much of their education in decrepitography courses.

submitted by HD Fowler

decrepting - To disfigure or damage your classmates' art work.

e.g., Stop decrepting my work with your elbow.

submitted by Decreper

decroded - Decayed + corroded. My wife uses this word as if it were already in the dictionary.

e.g., I found the hammer you lost in the yard last year. It was all decroded.

submitted by Leslie Pierson