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carpal tundrome - Pain, numbness and muscular weakness in the thumb, index, or middle fingers experienced by pseudo-doctors and self-diagnosers, unfamiliar with the correct disorder (carpal tunnel syndrome). Origin: Liv.

e.g., The throbbing! Oh, this thumb of mine. I think I've got carpal tundrome.

submitted by Ryan

carperpetuation - "The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance." (ED. KathiD must not know that this comes from Rich Hall's Sniglets; otherwise, I'm sure she would have given him credit. Identical wording can be found in Jester's Condescending English Dictionary, where Rich Hall is appropriately credited. Google Hall's word invention and you'll find 1000+ hits.)

e.g., I could finish my chores faster if I didn't get caught up with carperpetuation.

submitted by KathiD

carpet - To be boring, dull, plain or monotonous. Reference to how boring carpet shopping is, or how monotonous and lacking in personality a person is.

e.g., I don't believe how carpet this speaker is--I bet he practices carpetry.

submitted by Li'Kov

carpet fuzz - The tiny pieces of fuzz invariably appearing on top of any carpet.

e.g., There was a ton of carpet fuzz in her house. She had not vacuumed forever.

submitted by ryan

carpet snake - You're walking along and trip over what appears to be nothing. It's that mysterious and invisible creature that trips you. (Kin to pavement snakes, sidewalk snakes, and tile snakes.)

e.g., Ed. Did you just see Kate trip over that carpet snake? Ned. Yeah, sneaky little creatures, aren't they?

submitted by Brandee A.

carpetblog - To bomb a particular blog entry with multiple comments or a lengthy comment of your own.

e.g., He's carpetblogging. He's written 2000 words in my comments today.

submitted by Arwen

carpetvacuacious - Trying to vacuum up a piece of fluff unsuccessfully, bending down to pick it and inspect it and replacing it to give the vacuum cleaner another chance at sucking it up.

e.g., I am so carpetvacuacious it takes me ages to get the job done.

submitted by TREVOR - but not the author

carpophagous - Fruit-eating.

e.g., Don't you tell me I'm carpophagous. I'll rip your head off. I'm straight.

submitted by HD Fowler

carpse - A vehicle that continues to run long after it should be dead.

e.g., While cruisin' in my carpse the muffler fell off again.

submitted by carpse

carrot - To act in a manner that is inappropriate for the given situation. Often used in South Africa at high class functions to describe people who don't fit in or are acting inappropriatly.

e.g., Kerryn, did you notice that carrot when we walked in?

submitted by aje

carrot-topitis - A very serious disease in which the victim may become very annoying and ugly. Quite common in phone-related commercials.

e.g., Mr. T, Alf, and Hulk Hogan have all been caught in the plague of carrot-topitis. Pretty soon I'm going to stop watching TV.

submitted by Todd

carrow - Cumbrian (NW England: Lake District, Beatrix Potter country), dialect word meaning to shepherd, especially sheep.

e.g., Wensley was atop the fell carrowing his flock of sheep. Bill used two dogs, Mazie and Bob, to help him carrow his sheep.

submitted by David Ford

carry the can - British & Australian: "To take the blame or responsibility for something that is wrong or has not succeeded." (

e.g., "[Tony Hayward] will carry the can for the devastating oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico which has badly damaged B's reputation in the US."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

carry the one - It's more than you thought. Way more.

e.g., Ed: I only missed, like, 3 days of class. Ted: Carry the one.

submitted by Mila Eighteen - (www)

carsastic - Similar to sarcasm, carsasm is less harsh. To partake in carsasm is to be carsastic.

e.g., I didn't mean to make you feel inferior--you're not. I was just being carsastic.

submitted by liejoli

carsonogenic - A disease affecting chat show hosts whereby they imagine themselves to be way better at chat show hosting than they really are.

e.g., NBC issued a health warning with regard to next Monday's Tonight Show, citing the possibility that Mr. Leno's recent Emmy award will make him particularly Carsonogenic from now on.

submitted by lochlainn

cart blanche - Blanche with a capital B is also a female name.

e.g., Blanche had a few too many so the guys decided to Cart Blanche. (According to friend Herb L.)

submitted by Frank J. Mandriota

cartard - A driver who consistently makes poor decisions and unsafe maneuvers while operating a vehicle. Someone who lacks common sense and quick reaction time while driving. A bit different from a castard.

e.g., That cartard just turned left from the right lane.

submitted by M. Worley

carte sauvignon blanche - A pass you give to your philandering boyfriend when he messes around while inebriated beyond control. (ED. Thanks for the extra smile, Kelly.)

e.g., Ok, Joe, I'll give you the carte sauvignon blanche just this once. But if you ever touch her again. . . .

submitted by Kelly Kyd

cartelefe - (kar-tell-EFF-ay; n.) The head ("jefe") of a drug cartel. [From cartel + jefe Spanish for "chief."]

e.g., Angel Gutierrez is a cartelefe on Interpol's most wanted list. He's been running coca for decades.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cartelio - (kar-TAY-lee-oh; n.) An employee or agent of a drug cartel, especially one of the higher ups.

e.g., Luis was a pathetic little dealer on Philly street corners, but he had dreams of moving up and becoming a cartelio---of course, all he managed to do was get in the way, so he's our guest in autopsy today.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cartesian wells - Philosophical spas, where persons who doubt their own existence may find relief from their existential distress. Mental exercises are designed to convince the afflicted that they actually think. These ergo-nomically designed exercises also develop the conviction that since they think, they must exist. Those who fail all tests are confirmed that their non-existence is real, and since they do not think or exist, they are removed from the body politic and placed in institutions which also conveniently do not exist.

e.g., "Welcome to the Cartesian Wells, my friend . . . yes, I'm talking to you! You exist, you know, and we are here to help you come to that conclusion." [Aside: "Here's another live one, Frank...the product of modern education I'm sure who do not think and do not care! Let's hurry up and certify them as non-existent and send them to the archipelago where they won't do any more harm!"]

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

cartographical - Similar to geographical, but mapalicious.

e.g., As you can see, the cartographical blob that is the Middle East is definitely the hub of the three continents.

submitted by Kris-10

cartoonery - Activity, gesture, or nuance that exemplifies properties characteristic of a cartoon or animated character or concept.

e.g., Mona spent much of her free time devoted to collecting scooters and engaging in cartoonery.

submitted by matt - (www)

caruck - A six passenger pickup truck. It is neither a car, a truck, nor an SUV.

e.g., I have room for five passenger and they can throw their gear in the back of my caruck.

submitted by Nairn McConnachie

carve it up - To ride a skateboard in a swervy fashion down a hill, for two reasons, to slow it down and to make the ride quite fun.

e.g., Hey wanna carve it up today?

submitted by Oscar

carvenient - finding a decent place to park

e.g., Oh! How carvenient! The owner of that Reserved spot next to the door is going home for the day!

submitted by Forest - (www)

carwhichet -

From Michael Quinion's WorldWideWords site:: Weird Words: Carwhichet /kɑː'hwɪtʃɪt/ Help with IPA

Let me riddle you a riddle: "How far is it from the first of July to London Bridge?" Stumped for an answer? Then try this one: "If a bushel of apples cost ten shillings, how long will it take for an oyster to eat its way through a barrel of soap?"

These two perplexing queries were provided by John Camden Hotten, in his Slang Dictionary of 1865, as examples to illustrate the word carwhichet, or rather carriwitchet, as he preferred to spell it. His version was as good as anybody's, since the term has never been used enough to settle to an agreed form and everybody who has used it has made [her] own guess about the spelling.

A carwhichet (let's stick with that version) is a hoaxing question or conundrum, sometimes a mere pun or bit of verbal byplay. Here is one of its more ancient appearances:

A Quibbler is a Jugler of Words, that shows Tricks with them, to make them appear what they were not meant for, and serve two Senses at once. ... He dances on a Rope of Sand, does the Somerset, Strapado, and half-strapado with Words, plays at all manner of Games with Clinches, Carwickets and Quibbles, and talks under-Leg.

The Character of a Quibbler, from the Genuine Remains in Verse and Prose of Mr Samuel Butler, Volume 2. Though published in 1759, this was actually written about 1680. A clinch (or clench) and a quibble were other names for the games with words that Butler's quibbler was so expert at. Quibble only later took on its modern sense of a petty or legalistic objection. Under-leg remains mysterious.

Nobody knows where the word comes from, however you spell it. A link with French colifichet has been cautiously suggested. In that language, it refers to a small object without much value, a bauble, knick-knack or trinket, which had developed from an old word for a hair accessory.

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I'm not going to swear to it, but I believe these may have been going around when I was a teenager. Carwhichets may well have been our introduction to surrealism at play.

e.g., "Readers provided many more examples of nonsense queries from their own experiences. From Canada, Marc Slingerland e-mailed, 'I'm very glad to have the word carwhichet to describe the kind of zany non-sequiturs that briefly flourished in our area during my adolescence! A representative example: 'As I was biking across my backyard in my canoe, the left wheel fell off. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?' To which the correct answer was, 'It depends if a snake has armpits.' I've thought of these as surrealist jokes, but 'carwhichet' is a nice compact term that I shall try to remember.'

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

casablanca - Washington DC expression, The White House.

e.g., The President will be speaking to the press from casablanca at noon.

submitted by Stephen Mize

casanotva - A guy who thinks he is very good with the ladies but actually isn't.

e.g., Take a hike, casanotva.

submitted by Penny Couch

casanunder - An inept or inexperienced lover; someone awkward around attractive females. A play on "Casanover," the name of the world's greatest lover, and '"Casanunder," the name of the world's second greatest lover from the "Discworld" novels by Terry Pratchett.

e.g., Yo, Casanunder, take your paws offa my girl.

submitted by Ungentlemanly Conduct

case of the ass or redass, a - Highly annoyed. Currently used in US Army. (ED. "S.," if you want to submit your "own" words or phrases, be sure to include an e-mail address. If all you want to do is show your own ass by "correcting" others' submittals, just cease and desist. Your "correction" to this submittal in an attempt to change it to "case up the ass" was just plain stupid. The usage provided here clearly matches its use in the US Army. Google "case of the ass" and you'll find some entertaining websites and stories. Google "case up the ass" and you'll find nothing.)

(ED. I've seen speculation that redass is connected with prolonged diarrhea and the ensuing anal inflammation.)

e.g., Sergeant Greenfield has this huge case of the ass with me ever since I wrecked his humvee. (Check out other Army slang at G.I. Jargon.)

submitted by Adam Greenfield - (www)

case quarters - Spare change. Can be any denomination.

e.g., I was flat-out busted, 'til Tim gave me some case quarters so I could get another drink.

submitted by Paul

cash money millionare - Someone who has a lot of money, and may or may not flaunt it.

e.g., "Is Chris fronting on a cellular phone that doesn't work? Is that a fake Tag Heuer on his wrist?" "Not Chris. He's definitely on some cash money millionare trip."

submitted by jw

cashed - Done, finished.

e.g., Put your cigarette out, it's cashed.

submitted by pebbles

cashew - A person who is, by blood, half-Catholic and half-Jewish.

e.g., She's a Cashew, so she gets to celebrate Christmas and Chanukah.

submitted by Jason

cashflow gifting club - A pyramid/Ponzi-type "gifting club" as operates on the internet, relying heavily upon promotion via "spam" e-mails and using PayPal or similar online fund-transfer devices to evade the Long Arm of the Law. Will sometimes employ all manner of pseudoreligious guises or affinity for the sake of lending a false sense of credibility.

e.g., Did you hear about that neighbor lady who blew all her savings into that cash flow gifting club on the internet?

submitted by Larry Ellis Reed - (www)

cashish - Illicit cash. Money that you know you shouldn't spend. For example, cash that you pinch from your tuition or rent money.

e.g., I'm gonna have to score a little cashish if i'm gonna check out that concert tonight.

submitted by shobhana - (www)

cashmere sweater - Cashmere Sweater

e.g., Cashmere Sweater

submitted by Cashmere Sweater - (www)

cashola - "money, hard currency"

e.g., "I will come for a drink but I've got to get some ""Cashola"" first"

submitted by jez - (www)

cashtration - (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. (Washington Post Style Invitational.)

e.g., You might not think it would be that way, but cashtration can also have a disastrous effect on your sex life.

submitted by HD Fowler

casimpelsal - An accident caused by using safety devices. From Latin roots casus (safety), impello (to induce), and salus (accident).

e.g., I was cutting a 2x4 with a circular saw, and I had safety goggles on to prevent sawdust from getting in my eyes. My breath fogged up the goggles so I couldn't see, and all of the sudden I cut my damn finger off. It was a casimpelsal.

submitted by pete tridish - (www)

casino - How a gambler might say,"I can't see."

e.g., n the midst of the Gambler's Anonymous meeting, Nathan Detroit stood up and announced, "I casino reason to stop gambling.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

cassandra - (n.) someone whose predictions or insights somehow always seem to turn out to be correct, but whom no one listens to or believes until it is too late. (From Cassandra of Troy, the prophetess who, for spurning Apollo, was cursed to always correctly foretell the future, but never to be believed).

e.g., "I told you: sell your shares before the stock-split, but nobody ever believes me." "Okay, so you're a cassandra -- I was wrong and you were right, okay? What do I do now?" "You should buy every share you can, now." "That's stupid: I won't do it." "Wow. I guess I really am a cassandra...don't blame me when you lose everything, okay?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

cassatopia - The place where all your lost shoes go. | That loose dog in your neighborhood.

e.g., Travis: "Where'd my shoe go? It was just here last night. Katie: It probably ended up in cassatopia.

submitted by Cindy Y.

casserole parade - The parade of women bringing casseroles to a man who was recently widowed. Ostensibly to show their concern for his well-being (to make sure he's fed well?), but just as likely to be a way to let him know they're available for ... what? Dating, shall we say.

e.g., "So you moved right after she died? At least you missed the casserole parade."

submitted by [Travis]

cassicle - A cubicle with a moat; a workspace so cluttered that it is very difficult to enter. The conjunction of castle and cubicle.

e.g., I know, I know, HR tried to fire old Roland this morning. But they couldn't find him, much less a way into his cassicle.

submitted by Leslie Ragan

castanet - Spanish fishing gear.

e.g., He castanet, but the clicking noise drove the fish away.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

castellan - (n.) 1. The chief usher, butler, or caretaker of an executive mansion (such as the PM's Lodge in Canberra, 10 Downing Street in London, Rideau Hall in Ottawa, the Casa Rosada in Argentina, or the White House in the US); 2. Someone who manages day-to-day matters for an organization during the tenures of various chiefs; 3. The chief of staff of those in charge of maintaining a building, a park, a school, etc.; 4. The head housekeeper, janitor, or maintenance director.

e.g., "And this is Woody: he's the head of housekeeping and maintenance." "Ah, the Castellan! Excellent." | "We often hear of chief executives' chiefs of staff, but not so often about those behind the scenes who keep their 'executive offices' functioning. No one, for example, or at least very few people know Stephen W. Rochon, who is, however, the Chief Usher of the US White House -- in charge of the service staff, art, furniture, maintenance, housekeeping, decoration, hospitality, and so forth.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

casters-up mode - When some piece of technical equipment is completely broken.

e.g., Me: Did you fix the server? Guru: Nah. It was in casters-up mode.

submitted by Crossbow

castrated - A weaker version of the real thing.

e.g., I need to sleep later so give me a cup of the castrated coffee.

submitted by Terence Collins

castro-phe - What happens to a Caribbean island nation when a communist dictator leads a successful rebellion.

e.g., The government was afraid if the rebellion was successful it would lead to another Castro-phe.

submitted by John Jeffers - (www)

castrophony - Catastrophe plus cacophony. A very loud disaster!? Appears on the Gorillaz album Demon Day, in the track "Fire Coming Out of the Monkey's Head."

e.g., Then there came a sound, distant first, that grew into castrophony so immense it could be heard far away in space. There were no screams. . . .

submitted by Jeff Tupholme - (www)

casual idiot - One who is simply clueless but occasionally does something that suggests thought behind the action. Upon reflection, however, it is determined that the incident was merely chance and was not an indication of intelligence from the individual who performed the action.

e.g., I sometimes wonder whether my sister's boyfriend is a sinister mastermind or simply a casual idiot. It seems as though situations work to his favor in cultivating the "Oh, my poor baby" response from her. Is he scheming something, or just conveniently stupid?

submitted by Karen

casualmere - A casualmere is a favorite sweater, once nice enough for formal occasions, now rumpled, dumpy and frayed but extremely comfortable -- indeed, more comfortable than ever because you are not afraid to stretch it or spill on it.

e.g., Oscar dressed happily in his casualmere, ignoring his spouse's critical inspection as they left the house. "What?" he said. "It's my casualmere and I want to be comfortable at the kids' house."

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

cat - A guy, often one who is considered cool or devious.

e.g., I saw these two cats breaking into your car last night.

submitted by Mike C

cat fight - A fight between women who don't know how to fight, but just scratch at each other. Can refer to an altercation that is verbal only.

e.g., When that cute waitress started flirting with me, it was only a matter of time before she and my girlfriend got into a cat fight.

submitted by Carlos Coutinho

cat friction - The action that cats do to mark territory by rubbing their heads against things.

e.g., Snoozer, my cat, created cat friction on the bannister beams. Making loud thuds every time she hit a beam.

submitted by Ian Faynik

cat's ass - Luxurious, hip, cool.

e.g., I like the folding chairs with the beer holder in the arm-rest. They're the cat's ass.

submitted by kwyjibo

cat's pajamas - Something that is the slickest, cutest, or cleverest. It may have been coined during the 1920s or earlier. | Evan Morris, The Word Detective, says, "'The cat's pajamas' does indeed mean 'the hottest new thing' or 'great, wonderful' (as in 'Fred's new car is the cat's pajamas; Fred himself, not so much')." Flapper talk, from the 1920s. Of several slang phrases of the day in the same vein, possibly only "the bee's knees" and "the cat's pajamas" have survived.  
Other slang expressions of the era had basically the same meaning: ant's pants, bee's ankles, bullfrog's beard, butterfly's book, canary's tusks, cat's adenoids | cat's ankles | cat's canary | cat's cradle | cat's cufflinks | cat's cuffs | cat's eyes | cat's eyebrows | cat's galoshes | cat's kimono | cat's kittens | cat's meow | cat's miaow | cat's nuts | cat's pyjamas | cat's roller skates | cat's tonsils | cat's underwear | cat's whiskers, caterpillar's kimono, clam's garter, cuckoo's chin, dog's ankles, duck's nuts | duck's quack, eel's ankles, elephant's adenoids | elephant's arches | elephant's hips | elephant's instep | elephant's manicure | elephant's wrists, flea's eyebrows, frog's eyebrows, gnat's elbows, goat's whiskers, grasshopper's knees, hen's eyebrows, kipper's knickers, kitten's ankles, leopard's stripes, monkey's eyebrows, oyster’s earrings, pig's feet | pig's wings, puppy's tail, pussycat's whiskers, sardine's whiskers, snake's ears, snake's hips, snugglepup's bow-wow, tadpole’s teddies, tiger's spots, turtle's neck.  
"Dog's bollocks" to mean something excellent dates from the 1980s, having previously referred to something obvious: "it sticks out like a dog's bollocks." | "[T]he with-it term for something extraordinary, excellent, splendid and delightful." | "It's the cat's" for any of several slang phrases of the '20s. The Mavens' Word of the Day: "It means 'a wonderful or remarkable person or thing.' But it nearly always implies stylishness and newness -- it's 'the greatest thing since sliced bread.'"  

While checking those out, I ran across another slang word of the day that I like: "fly-paper" to refer to a gallant of the period, a fellow who sticks around. If there's someone you know who grew up in the 1920s, it might be fun to check with her and see how many of these terms she either remembers or used. Do it soon -- she may not be alive much longer.  
More on bee's knees.

e.g., What a fox! She's the cat's pajamas. | Sure, it was the cat's pajamas when it came out last week, but by next week it will be pass-a. | I suppose it's the cat's pajamas with your crowd, dawg, but don't you realize that by the time white folks find out about something that it's already out of date? Especially white folks your age. | The cat's pajamas is the bee's knees of idioms.

submitted by Steve McDonald | HD Fowler - (www)

cat-'o-nine-tales - What your friends invariably wield when they are meeting your new partner for the first time, especially if the partner happens to be attractive.

e.g., It began with the story from school camp where I admitted to fantasising about Barbara Streisand in Yentl, and ended with Bennie telling my new girlfriend the origins behind my nickname of "'Pastrami." The moral of the story: Don't bring your new girlfriend to Trivia Night if you can't handle the Cat-'O'-Nine-Tales.

submitted by Zippy Broodstock

cat-daddy - Term for a male who owns a cat or cats as pets.

e.g., Jorg sure is a nice cat-daddy; he gives Whisky the attention she needs.

submitted by jonas

catachresis - Charles Harrington Elster:

 (kat-uh-KREE-sis) Misuse of one word for another, or using the wrong word for the context. Whatever you want to call it, when a sentence hits an icy patch and skids off the road into a tree, I call it an accident of style.

"Just like automobile accidents, accidents of style occur all over the English-speaking world, in print and on the Internet, thousands of times every day -- not everyday, which is an adjective meaning 'daily' or 'ordinary' and always modifies a noun, as in everyday life or everyday problems. (Even the illustrious New York Times Magazine is guilty of this blunder. See Accident 1.) . . . Accidents of style can happen anywhere, anytime (not any time)."

Yes, Virginia, there is a difference between two words smushed together to make another word and the two words separated by a space. Sometime and some time are not the same. Stay tuned.

Elsewhere, Elster tells us, "Language mavens and lexicographers can agree to disagree. But by promiscuously sanctioning questionable pronunciations, including some that are beyond the pale -- like the ludicrous DUHB-yee for the letter W -- Merriam-Webster insidiously misrepresents what Noah Webster called 'the general practice of the nation' and obliterates the distinction conscientious speakers strive to make between what is and isn’t standard." I wish I'd had that quotation at hand in the 1980s when Harry Something-or-other pulled out the then current Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary as justification for his spelling of supersede as supercede. At the time, I still believed what I had learned from high school English teachers: Merriam-Webster is authoritative on good usage. I had learned that before 1961's prescriptive Third New International loosed the hounds of hell on good usage. I seriously doubt that either Miz Reece or Miz Smith would have considered later editions of MWCD as similarly authoritative.

"How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?" "Guilty or not guilty of what?" "Of committing catachresis." "Ummm, gee, I dunno. What exactly is that -- something to do with cataclysms or catechisms?" "No, you've been accused of saying prone (lying facedown) when you should have said supine (lying flat on your back)." "Oh, I see. I'm more or less accused of being a modern day Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney. In that case, I plead guilty, your honor." "Fine. Except that the Leo Gorcey character was known for his malapropisms, not merely for catachresis." "Noded, your eminence." Leo Gorcey
It's left as an exercise for the reader to determine what Leo Gorcey and the fellow pictured to the right had in common. Unlike Lon Chaney, he was not known as "the man of a thousand faces." However, he had a face much better known than the one pictured here. Mystery Man

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cataclystron - An incredibly dangerous device that, when handled inappropriately, will make the local continent sink into the ocean while all its inhabitants will drown or worse.

e.g., I can assure you, I would rather cut off my right than touch that cataclystron!

submitted by Lord Evil

catacombs - A cul-de-sac.

e.g., He lives in the catacombs.

submitted by BigAssFries

catacoustic - A word to describe very poor or dull music, or a monotonous sound.

e.g., I Killed Kenny was worse than bad--they were catacoustic.

submitted by Dave

catagram - A word that has no anagram.

e.g., "Article" and "recital" are anagrams of each other, but "inertia" is a catagram (if we limit ourselves to relatively common English words).

submitted by Daniel L Pratt

catalope - A hairy melon, with whiskers; a cat's running gait; a melon much beloved by cats, similar to catnip.

e.g., The cats in Catalonia thrive mainly on the catalope plain.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

catapedaphobia - A fear of jumping.

e.g., "Unless you suffer from catapedaphobia, won't you join me on the other side?"

submitted by HD Fowler

catapelt - To use a spoon to launch small objects at one's cat(s) in order to dislodge them from six feet up the embroidered curtains or some such.

e.g., I wouldn't get near that tabby in heat even though your girlfriend's gonna need sutures, not just a few new rhinestones on them fancy jeans. Safer to don a hardhat and catapelt the beast with ravioli.

submitted by wogerdodger

catapostrophe - The misuse of the apostrophe, esp. where such misuse results in an amusing or ambiguous sentence.

e.g., In a recent advertisement for a freezer, the company used the term "its' cool box." This catapostrophe meant that it was not clear whether the box is cool, or whether the freezer has a "cool box." The word "its'," of course, does not exist. (See prior entry at "it's.")

submitted by Richard English - (www)

catastrofee - Money paid for services that add to a problem instead of ameliorating it.

e.g., She resented paying the catastrofee to her dermatologist because the rash had not only spread to her face, but had left unsightly scars.

submitted by Nonesuch

catastrophe - The exorbitant cost of transporting all felines to another planet.

e.g., Were it not for the catastrophe, many a baby bird would still be alive.

submitted by Jon

catatonic - Immobilized by a contented feline whom one does not wish to disturb.

e.g., "Sweetie, can you get me some tea?" "Not now dear, I'm catatonic."

submitted by John Payson

catatonic - Any alcoholic beverage mixed with tonic water.

e.g., Hey, barkeep, let me get a catatonic. You choose the poison.

submitted by Dan

catatonic - Any bubbly drink fixed for a feline.

e.g., Honey, aren't you spoiling that cat? Don't you think that fixing it a catatonic is just a bit too much?

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

catch - Lazy use of "catch you later." Talk to you later, see you later, etc.

e.g., Catch.

submitted by Trevor Stephens

catch and release - To date an individual once, at most twice.

e.g., My latest catch and release lasted for 1.5 hours.

submitted by Voice_of_Reason

catch-22 - Often unhyphenated. Certainly not new or made up by me, Joseph Heller's word creation has drifted rather far from the original meaning he gave to it: A pseudo-paradoxical situation, from Joseph Heller's book of the same title.  

Joseph Heller | Catch-22 There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.

Catch-22 now is used not just for pseudo-paradoxical situations but for perplexing situations in general, especially for dilemmas.

e.g., You've got a problem all right, Roscoe. A real problem. Maybe even a dilemma. But you do not have a real catch-22. | Was it a catch-22 when Groucho Marx said he wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have him as a member?

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

catch-23 - In order to solve a problem one has to create a larger problem.

e.g., Bill pulled a Catch-23 when he saved 20 people at the cost of killing 35.

submitted by Adeel Khamisa

catcophony - The cacophony outside your window when the cats in your neighborhood are going through their mating rituals.

e.g., Why did we move? I'll tell you why -- we got tired of the catcophony that kept us awake all night every night.

submitted by HD Fowler

catdention - The spot left on the bed where the cat has been sleeping.

e.g., I don't like it when the cat sleeps on the bed, sheds, and leaves catdentions, ruffling the covers.

submitted by Steve Jasper

catdude - Very "cool" person. Cooler than a cat.

e.g., Clint Eastwood is a catdude.

submitted by Curtis Johnson

caterpallor - The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. (Washington Post Style Invitational.)

e.g., Her face turned caterpallor when she noticed the larva was only half its former self.

submitted by HD Fowler

caterpillar in the pudding - Something which seems out of place, or not quite right for an undetermined reason. The general state of affairs resulting from such a situation.

e.g., I think something's wrong in the mailroom; I haven't gotten any mail since last week. There's definitely a caterpillar in the pudding down there.

submitted by yeoldeforke

catfish - To develop "a fake online persona with the express purpose of deceiving a love-struck significant other." | Catfish "keep other people active in life." | "So it came as news to me to find out that catfish were once used to keep cod that were being transported large distances in good shape. A few of these natural predators were placed in tanks along with the live cod to ensure that they stayed agile and, as a result, their flesh remained tasty."

e.g., "What were you doing on your computer just now?" "Catfishing." "Catfishing? How can you do that on a computer? Is it an online game?" "Sort of." "Catch anything?" "No, but I got a couple of nibbles." | "Was Heisman Trophy finalist Manti T'eo catfish'd?" | "This is the craziest, most amazing, unbelievable, insane story you will read today. You have to go read the entire thing for yourself, but the gist of it is that Kekua never existed and all the details of her car accident, sickness, death, and relationship with Te'o were fabricated. Te'o's family never met Kekua and Notre Dame and Te'o both insist Te'o was a victim of a sick hoax. If this is true… Wow. Catfish…"

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cath-atonic - OF a Priest or Nun, Who Is So Stunned, That (s)he's in a silent, motionless, stupor.

e.g., Father Richards Hasn't Moved a Muscle in Hours. I Think He's Cath-atonic.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

cathart - (kuh-THART, rhymes with "the CART"; v.) 1. To purge one's negative thoughts (i.e. troubles, worries, fears, pent-up hostilities, etc.) through group discussion (casually, a "bull session"; informally, a "class discussion"; formally, a "group therapy" session); 2. to unburden oneself of anger, frustration, confused feelings, guilt, vel cet. (a) by talking about one's thoughts and feelings to another or a group, (b) by listening to music in keeping with one's mood, (c) by watching a drama in which such feelings and thoughts are dealt with, or (d) by hurling philippics at imaginary listeners in the mirror, in the car, in the basement, wherever; 3. to indulge in one's feelings by creating art, singing serenades, playing the piano (or organ or guitar, or banjo, or whatever), writing, cooking, ... beating something inanimate to pieces, etc.

[Regular noun and adjective forms: "catharsis" and "cathartic." Adjective form for sense 3 (above): "cathartsy."

[Back formation from From Greek καθαρσις catharsis “purge, cleanse,” ultimately from καθαρος catharos “pure, clear, clean.” Coined by my elder brother in a Sunday School class for teachers (I think)]

e.g., During a group session over at the prison, catharting is amazingly helpful for many of the prisoners. It got a bit heated a few times, but I think it helped them see themselves more clearly, and it was all good by the end of the session. ||   

It's good to sit with friends and cathart for a while. But sometimes, it's easier with strangers. There's a story from just after the cease-fire at the end of WWI, in which two groups of soldiers, from Germany and Britain, met in no-man's land and helped each other identify the dead. Somehow they could talk to each other, and they talked through their anger and confusion, catharting it all away. They went home in a much better place, mentally, then many of their compatriots. ||

 "Whoa! What is that? It's shaking the building!" "Oh, that Mr. Hilstrom in the basement. He's the super, but he used to be the conductor of the city philharmonic. He likes the bass." "But why is he playing the bass so loud?" "It's how he catharts." "Oh, well, if he's cathartic, that's okay."  ||

I think Rembrandt's self portraits were cathartsy.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cathcesca - Cathcesca is a mythical land of milk and honey. A land of fairy tales and wonder, where everything is perfect.      Cathcescians believe in one god "n'ielle" -- their people believe that they are superior in every way and share the same mind and ideas of their residents in unison.      Whilst Cathcescians remain adamant and rigid in their beliefs, they are more often than not proved wrong. Whilst they accept defeat, they do not apologize.

e.g., Look, we're not living in Cathcesca. This is the real world.

submitted by john

cathe-drawl - When a Priest or Nun Speaks in a Slow, Lengthened Tone.

e.g., Many Priests and Nuns From the South Speak in a "Cathe-drawl."

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

cathexis - Somewhat similar to "cow," as in "don't have a cathexis." It does have a technical meaning in psychiatry, but we don't care about that. To us, it means to get all wrapped 'round the axle about something.

e.g., Don't have a cathexis, Mitch. I'll be 18 in a week.

submitted by Adam Greenfield - (www)

catholesque - That which grew up from the attempts of people to copy Catholic architecture, style, values etc., and apply it to their own purposes.

e.g., She wanted a big wedding in the cathedral, but since she would have had to join the faith, she opted for a Catholesque ceremony instead.

submitted by Laurie - (www)

catloaf - A position of contentment and relaxation in which a housecat hunkers down and tucks its feet and tail in close to the body, forming a symmetrical, round shape which resembles a baked good.

e.g., Why does Bootsy always do his catloaf right on the section of the paper I'm trying to read?

submitted by adam thorsell

catpause - The length of time it takes after someone leaves the room before everyone starts talking about her.

e.g., A catpause is a period of time on the order of a nanosecond.

submitted by Deborah Mills

catquake - A very deep, rumbly purr that is more felt than heard. Usually found in larger cats.

e.g., My cat Mulder must be really relaxed--just feel that catquake.

submitted by Shaduan

catrada - I can't believe it.

e.g., It's so cold out today, catrada.

submitted by Daniel Anderson

catrepreneur - A cool cat who is in business. Cat + Entrepreneur = Catrepreneur. Catrepreneurs use fair and honest business practices. (Contrast with "ratrepreneur.")

e.g., You made this most excellent website? You're a catpreneur, my friend!

submitted by Tom Day - (www)

catskinner - One who is inventive in achieving his objective.

e.g., There's always more than one way to get the job done, as any true catskinner can tell you.

submitted by Ty Evans

catstard - A generic name for cats, especially for dog lovers. In a pejorative sense. Although an insult, I feel that it is pleasing to the ear and hopefully catchy.

e.g., Oh, no, she has a catstard in the house; my wife's allergy will act up and we will have to leave the party.

submitted by Alex McMahon

catterwacked - All messed up and out of wack. Refering to brain functioning or body parts most commonly but can describe any situation that is dysfunctional or misfunctional.

e.g., After the night I had last night, my brain is all catterwacked.

submitted by Jessy

cattitude - The “attitude” house cats can sometimes have, such as turning up their noses at commercial cat food.

e.g., My cat, Mr. Pumpkin, sometimes refuses his elegant canned cat food and gives me a noisy protest when he's figured out I'm having steak for dinner. I'm really fed up with his cattitude.

submitted by natalie

catto - (Rhymes with BAT-toe, HOT-toe (if you're a purist), or DAY-toe, if you are fond of Inspector Clouseau and his Green-Hornet-esque butler, Kato; adv.) 1. Too late, 2. No longer secret, 3. Pointless to try to keep secret or confidential. [From the Latin _Sine_Catto_Sacculus_"[a] catless bag" (literally "without-a-cat-bag" or "a bag without a cat"); in reference to the old saying "the cat is out of the bag."]

e.g., "A dead housecat worth HOW much?" "£1 million---Well, £960,000." "For a dead CAT?!" "Oh, yes: It's that famous Bengal from Gibraltar who enjoyed swimming to Algeciras and back when he belonged to that Irish writer." "Wow. Wow. And the skeleton's gone missing?" "Yes! It was in this case, wrapped in a special padded plastic sack. But the sack is still here! So, whoever has him---the skeleton I mean---could easily get him damaged or broken, since he's without his padded sack!" "So: the cat is out of the bag!---Catto! We must search the ship!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

cattycorner - A Southern term for diagonal.

e.g., Move your bishop cattycorner across the chessboard.

submitted by Firestorm

cattywhumpus - Off-kilter, messed-up, crooked, screwed-up. (ED. Similarly spelled words with similar meanings: "kittywompus," "cattywampus," "caddywompous," "catawampus," "caterwampus," etc. One spelling is as good as another for this editor.)

e.g., I hate it when you take one thing off the shelf and everything else goes all cattywhumpus.

submitted by Cheryl

catupuncture - When your cat uses your prone sleeping body as a launching pad in the middle of the night and leaves a series of holes where its pointy little feet make contact. | When you shoot that cat full of holes.

e.g., Catupuncture makes you feel better during the day, fixing all of your aches and pains except where the punctures are.

submitted by nancy r. kelly

cauc - A Caucasian. A white person. Prounounced like the sealant in the word "caulk."

e.g., He isn't a Mexican, he's a cauc.

submitted by J.M.S.

caucasophobia - Fear of Caucasians.

e.g., "He's incompetent by our standards, but not within the context of a course or department with no standards other than those governing the ability to intellectualize caucasophobia."

submitted by HD Fowler

causy - Highly idealistic, believing in a variety of so-called good causes -- such as medical research, environmental movements, rescue missions, anti-war rallies, etc. A causy person will usually donate money and volunteer time to her causes. Often uses the expression “a good cause.”

e.g., My causy mom gets solicitations from at least one "good cause" or charity a week. She has a hard time saying “No” to them. She volunteers at the local food bank and a children’s hospital, too. It'd be nice sometimes if she paid more attention to me.

submitted by natalie

caution horses - Rarely-seen equine breed, possibly related to the Quarter Horses.

e.g., Caution horses are a puzzle; few, if any, have ever seen them, and yet there are signs about them on all our roads: "CAUTION HORSES."

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

caution-taped - describing an object that has been wrapped in caution tape

e.g., Nick's car was caution-taped while he was camping.

submitted by natalie

caveatiasis - A condition in which disclaimers and warnings take up more space in a manual than the actual instructions.

e.g., "If it weren't for the caveatiasis, this manual would be 17 pages long instead of 70," mused George as he riffled the pages of the book.

submitted by Passing4human - (www)

caveman robots - Those with little or no understanding of technology, yet their lives are filled with an ever growing collection of machines, and automation. Caveman robots often think that machines can "heal" themselves, such as cars in ill repair.

e.g., What a caveman robot! He shoved a fork into the toaster while it was on.

submitted by Jason Robert Bell - (www)

cavescrilla - Anything used in place of money. Cavescrilla.

e.g., I don't have money, but my grandma gave me a cavescrilla for Sean John clothes. Leggett gave the women at The Red Arrow cavescrilla cuz he didn't have enough money for the tip.

submitted by Leggett

caviot - Caveat: "A qualification or explanation."

e.g., "ImJustAGuy says: 'All of these, I liked. There’s one caviot. The fight scenes in Bollywood movies are cheezy, but if you watch with that expectation, they’re quite enjoyable.'"

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

cavitation - The jolting, excruciating pain caused by getting a bit of sugary food item in a tooth cavity.

e.g., After taking a bite of my delicious Butterfinger, I experienced a level of cavitation that hurt so bad I had to cry . . . and then immediately call my dentist.

submitted by Joseph Swartz

cavityfighting - very cool. a fonz

e.g., the new kid in school is cavityfighting, i think he'll make lots of new friends.

submitted by geof

caw casian - A human racial subdivision consisting of a class of tourists who possess the attributes of being loud, obnoxious, pushy and greedy for shiny things.

e.g., Land sakes, Harold -- it's 110 degrees here in the Sudan! We're caw casian enough without you having to stand in the sun and bicker with that dirty, one-eyed vendor over a knock-off imitation Omega wristwatch. Let's get back to the comfort of our air-conditioned hotel!

submitted by Charlie Lesko

cayja - the homeland of anything Cajun

e.g., Cajun food originally came from Cayja.

submitted by C.R. Castelletti

cblf - Carbon-Based Life Form. Originally, in the Canadian military the term "body" was used to describe a person required for some manual labour, as in, "Send a few bodies over to clean up this mess." Eventually, the harrassment police decided that "body" was a derogatory term and prohibited its use. So the term "CBLF" was used in its place. Personally, I did not know "body" was offensive to anyBODY, because everyBODY used it, but obviously someBODY was bothered, now noBODY can say it. It's enough to drive a BODY to the nuthouse.

e.g., Grab a few CBLFs and clean up this mess.

submitted by The Puffin

cc baby - Very sweet and cute (usually babies). Also used to praise someone for acting in a charming or adorable fashion.

e.g., Aww. She just smiled at me. Kate's my CC baby.

submitted by Meg

cd-fakeout - When you open a CD case only to find a different CD in it.

e.g., I was excited to see he had a Mazzy Star CD, but alas, it was a CD-fakeout, when I discovered a Mariah Carey CD instead.

submitted by MaryClaire

cease - Sieze.

e.g., "Type of ship is cargo (container). Flag is Marshall islands. The rest they have not made public and probably won't. Probably will cease the millions of dollars in cargo, then release the ship. And yes, that is the same govt. we are allowing to continue developing the bomb."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

ceebs - A shorter version of the slang term "can't be arsed."

e.g., Ceebs with washing the dishes.

submitted by Robin Richards

ceil - Verb: to install a ceiling.

e.g., I have worn full suits, including hat and shoes, that were all made at home. The first lumber ever in this section was used to ceil dwellings overhead. It was cut by hand by placing the log on a scaffold. One man stood on top of the log and one underneath and they sawed the planks by using a rip-saw. We made most all articles we needed. I can remember when all the nails we got were hammered out one at a time in the blacksmith shop.

submitted by [Z. T. WASSON, Eula, Ark., June 5, 1915]

ceiling joke - A joke that sails right over everyone's head.

e.g., God, I do hate it when one of my wittier creations turns out to be a ceiling joke.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

ceiltex - All of the different ceiling textures.

e.g., What ceiltex do you have? We have "Crow's Feet."

submitted by Brooke 7th English

celebify - This word means "to nurture a celebrity."

e.g., Let us celebify our kids.

submitted by Moses Marimo

celebrate - Twain uses the word to indicate that a certain man is, as we would say today, celebrated.

e.g., He is a man truly celebrate.

submitted by Joseph Delaney

celebreak, celebreaktion - To celebrate with break dancing.

e.g., Pulling out the cardboard and ghetto blaster, Derek and Johnny began to celebrake upon learning they had passed their midterm exams.

submitted by Boyd Madsen - (www)

celebridiot - Celebrity idiot.

e.g., Just what we need -- celebridiots setting foreign policy. God help us.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

celebritizen - A celebrity who exemplifies a commitment to being a good citizen through political involvement, social service, etc.

e.g., Sean Penn's recent involvement in world affairs has raised his reputaton from mediocre actor to celebritizen.

submitted by ramsey

celebutaint - When the perineum of a celebutante gets public exposure, it becomes a celebutaint. With its connection to "debutante" through "celebutante," "celebutaint" is more suited to females than males. "Celebretaint" should be just as applicable to both.

e.g., Enough already. I've tired of celebutaints making the news because of the supposedly unauthorized distribution of their pornographic home videos. | Should celebutaints be used in advertising? Would they be more suited for Wheaties boxes or for Taco Belle ads?

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

celebutante - A debutante who is a celebrity (or a fake celebrity).

e.g., Paris Hilton is properly acting the part of the celebutante.

submitted by Francis Raven

celerica - Righteous, above reproach. Setting the right example in business and personal life. Antonym: See "joejobbed."

e.g., Although Oliver worked with people he easily could have ripped off, his approach has always been celerica.

submitted by Chris

celerica - A dream now failed.

e.g., It was once a wonderful possibility, but now it is just celerica.

submitted by Chris

celery - A vegetable that has almost no nutrients or calories in it, so you actually lose calories eating it.

e.g., Celery tastes bad.

submitted by Squackle! - (www)

celesbian -

"The term celesbian (a portmanteau of celebrity and lesbian) originally referred to a female celebrity known or reputed to be a lesbian. In modern-day mass media, the term has come to mean a female celebrity who claims to be a lesbian, either explicitly or implicitly — often to get publicity. She may or may not really be homosexual. A term similar to the second sense of celesbian is fauxmosexual, combining faux (false) and homosexual), in which case the celebrity may be either male or female.

"Celesbianism as a Western media phenomenon came into vogue in 2008, when several female celebrities presented themselves as lesbians. The term was first used by New Yorkers Pam Franco and Susan Levine, a disk jockey. It was used in a full-page ad in a lesbian nightlife magazine, GO MAGAZINE. The ad was for the Mz Hip and Fit NY contest, the idea of Denise Cohen of Denco Designs & Events. The contest was a search for the hottest lesbian in the United States. The term celesbian was used for the celebrity lesbian judges.

"Some LGBT activists have objected to the fauxmosexuality phenomenon, saying it trivializes real homosexuals, both in presenting homosexuality as an "outrageous" novelty and in glossing over the serious issues faced by young people struggling to come to terms with their homosexuality."


"Of course not. I don't pay attention to that sort of thing. That's one of the things Google's Ngram Viewer is good for."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

celibater - A person who is proud of her celibacy

e.g., On her wedding day Samantha was still a celibater.

submitted by Rob

celibating - From celibate.

e.g., My wife and I are celibating our 25th wedding anniversary

submitted by pat codd

celiney - To emit a show business quality of insincerity and hamminess. Having an aura of such obnoxious, unsubstantiated confidence that many people want to hit you.

e.g., Most of the Oscar acceptance speeches this year were far too Celiney for me.

submitted by TimEspin - (www)

cell phone - A prison telephone exclusively for the use of the inmates. (From Nanny's 1960s Contemporary Word Usage.)

e.g., Since I'll be away from home for five to ten years, here's my cell phone number. You can always reach me there.

submitted by A Nanny Mouse

cell phoney - (Also "cell phony"; n.) People who make numerous, brief, self-important, desperately cool, wannabe entrepreneurial phone calls from their cars, making themselves appear important or classy or whatever. Very often, cell phoniness is a symptom of an inferior self-perception, social anxiety, or lack of confidence---it's actually quite sad, really; although that's hard to remember when cell phoneys get going, full of attitude.

e.g., "Okay, dude, I'll get that check in the mail as soon as I get the funding for my next project from the investors. Catch ya' later, man, I gotta get into this meeting. Yeah. Bye." "What meeting? We're in your car, and there's just me here. Your little brother, and you don't have any 'projects' or investors. You are such a cell phoney!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cell phoney - (Also "cell phony"; n.) People who make numerous, brief, self-important, desperately cool, wannabe entrepreneurial phone calls from their cars, making themselves appear important or classy or whatever. Very often, cell phoniness is a symptom of an inferior self-perception, social anxiety, or lack of confidence---it's actually quite sad, really; although that's hard to remember when cell phoneys get going, full of attitude.

e.g., "Okay, dude, I'll get that check in the mail as soon as I get the funding for my next project from the investors. Catch ya' later, man, I gotta get into this meeting. Yeah. Bye." "What meeting? We're in your car, and there's just me here. Your little brother, and you don't have any 'projects' or investors. You are such a cell phoney!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cell-yell - What you do when you can't hear on your cell phone because of static. I find this very annoying.

e.g., She's cell-yelling and it's really bothering me.

submitted by Dan

cella - Basement.

e.g., Put the leftover boxes in the cella.

submitted by Jennifer Bliss

cellaholic - A person addicted to using her cell phone, and is seen to use it very frequently. Especially at times or in places that are inappropriate.

e.g., Some cellaholic was talking through the whole movie -- reminded me why I'd rather stay home and rent.

submitted by g. white

cellcussion - (Pronounced chel-CUSH-un, to rhyme with bell-RUSH-un; n.) 1. Using a cello as a percussion instrument, so as to bring out the hum of the strings along with the beat; 2. Using any stringed instrument as a percussion instrument. [From CELLo+perCUSSION.]

e.g., Steven Sharp Nelson is a greatly talented Cellcussionist. He's on YouTube. Take a look ... um, listen.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

cellie - The hipster way to say cellular phone. (ED. "Hipster," huh?)

e.g., Why don't you just call me on my cellie?

submitted by Renfield

cellikinesis - Feeling your cell phone vibrate when you aren't carrying it, or when it is off.

e.g., In a moment of cellikinesis, I reached into my pocket to discover the phone was not there.

submitted by Tori Irwin

cellopane - The thick plastic lining added to a window to increase thermal efficiency (usually in winter). It helps keep the heat in.

e.g., Judging by the amount of cellopanes in the neighborhood, I'm guessing we're about to see a deep freeze.

submitted by Martin

cellophone - A communication device constructed entirely of candy wrappers.

e.g., I called your cellophone but you didn't answer, so I left a message with the butterscotch chew.

submitted by Bryn Kanar - (www)

cellphonic appraisal - The activity that occurs when a ringing cell phone causes everyone in the room to check and see if it's theirs.

e.g., At the first sound of a ring, the trial was interrupted for a few moments of cellphonic appraisal. The judge was not pleased.

submitted by doran

cellu-loser - Anyone who drives/rides/walks with a non-working or toy cell phone permanently jammed in her ear to give herself what she believes to be status.

e.g., Jayboy: See the cellu-loser in the Honda over there? Johnboy: Yeah. Jayboy: That's my ex-girlfriend. Johnboy: Then there can be no doubt that she's a loser.

submitted by Jason

celluhang - The rear overhang on a chair.

e.g., You'll have to diet. You've put an extra two inches on your celluhang during the holidays.

submitted by BIGjack

cellularitis - An acute condition marked by almost constant talking on a cellular phone. Similar to telephonitis, but spreads further and annoys more people. Often very hard to treat and no cure is yet available

e.g., As I waited in the Airport Lounge yesterday, I observed an infestation of cellularitis all around me. Almost everyone was talking loudly into a cell phone. Hardly any of the passengers were talking face to face.

submitted by Susanne Strickland

celly - A cell phone. | (SELL-ee; n.) A cell mate (as in jail or prison). [Analogy from "roomy" (for "room mate").]

e.g., Just call me up on my celly. |

Jenny: "So, is this the guy you told me about?"
Michael: "Yeah. You'll like him."
Jenny: "Well, he looks good, but we'll see."
Spritzer: "Hey, Mikey!"
Michael: "Spritz, my man!"
Jenny: "Mike, who is this?"
Michael: "Oh, yeah. Spritz, this is my big sister, Jennifer. Jen, this is my old celly, Hal Spritzer."
Spritzer: "Call me Spritz, Ms. Howard."
Jenny: "Jenny, please."
Spritzer: "Jenny!"
Jenny (aside to Mike): How's my hair? (aloud to Spritz) "Wait ... celly? What's a celly? What does that mean?"
Michael: "Oh, sorry man."
Spritzer: "No, no, that's okay. Jenny, your brother and I were cell mates back in---"
Jenny: "Was this back---was this when you were in jail, Mike?"
Michael: "Yeah. My last three months in County. Spritz watched out for me."
Spritz: "Before you ask, I stole a Tazmanian devil from the zoo."
Jenny: "... ... a Tazmanian---?"
Spritz: "It was a bet."
Jenny: "That must have been some bet."
Spritz: "$30,000."
Jenny: "Thirty---?!"
Spritz: "Thousand dollars, yeah. I figured, $5000 per month for six months? Not bad: that translates into a $60,000 a year salary. You know, if I had a job."
Michael: "Wait. Six months? You were only in for three."
Spritz: "I had a good attorney: best that money could buy."
Jenny: "You don't have a job, but you could hire the best attorney in---"
Spritz: "Chicago."
Jenny: "In Chicago. So, how---?"
Michael: "Spritz is rich."
Jenny: "Rich?"
Michael: "Unspeakably. Oil sheiks drool with envy."
Jenny: "Really?"
Spritz: "Hey, Jenny, so you wanna grab a bite or something?"
Jenny (aside to Michael): "How's my hair?"
Michael: "Your hair is fine. Okay, gotta go. She's all yours, celly. Have fun."
Jenny: "So where are we going?"
Spritz: "Spain."
Jenny: "Wow."

submitted by rainbow | Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

celsiheit - The tendency, particularly in the UK media, to use the Celsius temperature scale in winter and Fahrenheit scale in summer.

e.g., Why do the meteoroligists on the telly use celsiheit? Because the apparent temperature extremes add drama.

submitted by Ian McDonald

celubrious - Related to celebratory? From a misunderstanding of "salubrious." The Word Mavens at

e.g., "I trust you have recovered from any celubrious activities during the festive period."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

celwebrity - Someone who is famous solely because she has a site on the internet. |

e.g., Paul Jarvis is my favourite celwebrity. (Paul is a very well-known performer with Cirque du Soleil. Check out the show next time you're in Las Vegas.)

submitted by jim mckenna

ceniohui - "Stun" pumpkins like those thrown by The Goblin from Spider Man.

e.g., Where'd you get that pack of ceniohuis?

submitted by Squackle! - (www)

censobation - Censoring something for no good reason, but just because you can.

e.g., The V-Chip is a major censorbator.

submitted by marcus

censor - A person responsible for maintaining public morals. | A magistrate in ancient Rome who took the census and collected taxes.

e.g., I'm going to need more fingers if I'm to double as a censor.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

centantintate - A fire lit on top of someone's head, caused by vigorous towel drying.

e.g., I've had fifteen centantintates in my lifetime.

submitted by Squackle! - (www)

centerize - To make sure something is centered.

e.g., Those flowers would look better if you would centerize them on the table.

submitted by Geoff Nixon

centiprogenous - People born in the centennial year of the century whose age will always match the last two digits of the calendar year.

e.g., The census will show that there wasn't a huge overage of centiprogenous babies born in 2000.

submitted by Joel Parker

centralisticy - A form of centralistic, or centered upon. Used to describe one's feeling of being at the center of something.

e.g., However, he states that the camera ruins the perception of the universe being what they can see by showing that there are other areas that are not perceived at the moment, destroying an image of centralisticy.

submitted by IceHawk

centricaco - The center of all that is bad, such as hell.

e.g., With all the gangs in Detroit, the place is like centricaco.

submitted by snowboardinghockeyplayer3 - (www)

centripugn - The topic of a fight.

e.g., Political issues were the centripugn of the argument.

submitted by snowboardinghockeyplayer3 - (www)

centrisanct - The center place for a religion.

e.g., The Roman Catholic church's centrisanct is Vatican City.

submitted by snowboardinghockeyplayer3 - (www)

century 21 page - A website that exists but for no other purpose than to direct you to the website's new location or new owners.

e.g., After got bought out by Yahoo!, it became nothing but a century 21 page to Yahoo! Music.

submitted by Moogla - (www)

centurysquared - The 10,000th.

e.g., This is the centurysquared word to enter the dictionary.

submitted by David Kuling

ceoster - Pronounced "che·ous´·ter." A corporate CEO who is indistiguishable from a court jester or buffoon--has engaged in buffoonish, foolish, or silly behavior--quite possibly criminal behavior, too.

e.g., Enron's Jeffrey Skilling is a good example of a ceoster.

submitted by bristolz - (www)

ceramic - A Cumbrian (English Lake District, Beatrix Potter Country) dialect word that is the local equivalent to the Irish word "craic" which means a general good time, party, happy time.

e.g., Ronald enjoyed his Friday night in "The Slaughtered Lamb" (in every Cumbrian village there is a pub called "The Slaughtered Lamb") as there were lots of people in and the ceramic was mighty. On the rubgy tour all the players had great ceramic even though they lost every game.

submitted by David Ford

ceramic fish - Swanky, usually pertaining to a gift or new acquisition. Before Wheel of Fortune started awarding cash prizes, contestants were required to use the money they won to purchase prizes. Any money left over from buying golf clubs, vacations, and La-Z-Boys would be spent on the cheapest prize available -- invariably a ceramic dolphin, Dalmatian, or fish.

e.g., Did you see the bracelet that Janice got? Oooh . . . ceramic fish.

submitted by Gordon Reid - (www)

cereal coma - Not to be confused with a serial comma, a cereal coma is a diabetic coma induced by eating too much pre-sweetened breakfast cereal. See cereal killer.

e.g., Did you hear about Blimpy? He was hospitalized because of a cereal coma. Oh, he's doing much better . . . now that he's on the hospital's bland and nearly sugar-free diet.

submitted by HD Fowler

cereal comma - A comma used to separate three or more breakfast foods in textual description.


Contrary to Grammar Tsarina, Miss Lillith, the name for a terminal comma in a listing is "trailing comma," NOT "serial comma." To avoid ambiguity one can always use a cereal comma in examples such as: "puffed wheat, flattened corn, and deflated oats" (as opposed to "puffed wheat, flattened corn and deflated oats." Omitting the trailing (or, in this specific case, cereal) comma could lead the reader to see the last two items ("flattened corn" and "deflated oats)" as being a single item in apposition to the first -- i.e., that each is a sort a subgroup of the whole, rather than being coequal parts of the whole.

Miss Lillith's opinions are not to be taken too seriously since she can't even spell her own name correctly, as any idiot savant, pedantic prig, or biblically-inclined scholar would instantly note -- it's "Lilith," for heaven's sake. Fowler usages such as this have been spotted in the pd, however, and one must make proper allowances, excuses, and accommodations, eh?

  • ({ED. Miss Lillith knows exactly what she's doing. For anyone to tell her she's spelling her made-up name wrong -- well, do so at your own peril. If anyone said that to her face, she'd have to deal with Lillith's wrath up close and personal -- her wrath being the only thing biblical about her. She made a conscious decision to spell her name with three el's, knowing full-well how "Lilith" is spelled in the Bible. SBIII is right, though, that Lillith's idiosyncracies are not to be taken seriously. But that's not because she doesn't know how to spell her name. I can assure you: she does.

    As for the trailing comma not being called a "serial" or "series" comma, that's exactly what the so-called Oxford comma has been referred to lo these many years. For the record, Oxford dropped the Oxford comma earlier this year. Pity, that, for as SBIII notes, using it can help make clear what is being said, without having to do a double take.

    Rather than take a chance on forgetting when serial commas are needed to avoid ambiguity, we'll continue to use them routinely here in the pd. It may take a little longer to key them in, a little more space to store and display them, and a little more time to read them -- but the extra time required for those is small compared to the time it takes to decide whether or not a serial comma is redundant. The time lost when a reader ends up puzzled about what's she's reading and has to re-read to sort herself out can be even greater.

    While omitting the trailing comma in a series often doesn’t change the meaning, it sometimes does, occasionally with hilarious results. We can avoid such gaffes by routinely using the Oxford comma, rather than hoping to remember to add them when ambiguity would otherwise be the result.

    If you want to leave out as many commas as you can, here's a way to do it: Start by always using the Oxford comma in series of three or more terms. When you've finished writing, go through your manuscript and carefully examime each series of three or more terms. If the trailing comma can be deleted without introducing ambiguity, delete it.

    Oxford University has dropped the Oxford comma!:

    In its “branding toolkit,” it offers the following advice:

    As a general rule, do not use the serial/Oxford comma: so write ‘a, b and c’ not ‘a, b, and c’. But when a comma would assist in the meaning of the sentence or helps to resolve ambiguity, it can be used — especially where one of the items in the list is already joined by ‘and’:

    They had a choice between croissants, bacon and eggs, and muesli.

    … The trend distresses both Lillith and me. It burdens the writer with having to discern whether or not what she's written is ambiguous because a comma was left out. With our approach, whatever confusion results is not not due to omitting a needed comma.

    Those who maintain that the serial comma is redundant or unnecessary don't seem to be thinking clearly.

    "Frankie" wrote, "The serial comma is useless. Many languages -- like my first one -- don't use it, (they even stylistically prohibit it because it's redundant). There are many other symbols that help diminish ambiguity: why always use a comma?"

    (1) "The serial comma is useless." No, it's not -- certainly no more useless than upper case letters.

    Both are used as aids to clarity, to help understand what someone has written.We can understand the spoken word without any hint of the use of upper case letters. We have no voice clues to indicate capital letters. Commas can be indicated by a change in cadence; other punctuation marks by inflections.

    (2) "Many languages -- like my first one -- don't use it, (they even stylistically prohibit it because it's redundant)." After first noting that Frankie doesn't tell us what his first language is, I'm going to consider what he wrote piece by piece.

    (2a) "Many languages -- like my first one -- don't use it." The only language I know more than a smattering of is English, so I can't address the accuracy of the sentence in its entirety. It's quite possible that one or more languages don't use the serial comma at all; however, expounding on the use of the quantitatitave "many" is in order. How many such languages are there: ten, twenty, one hundred, more? Out of how many languages in the world? "There are roughly 6,500 spoken languages in the world today." One per cent, twenty per cent, fifty per cent, or more? Name one.

    (2b) "They even stylistically prohibit it." It would be an authoritarian culture, indeed, that would prohibit the usage on "stylistic" grounds. I can see discouraging the use of the serial comma as being a waste of space and time. Or alleging that the serial comma is not needed -- ideed, never needed -- for clarity. But to prohibit the serial comma on stlye grounds seems trés bizarre, to say the least. Too strong as well as too strange.

    (2c) "[B]ecause [the serial comma] is redundant." (More than a few writers would have put a comma between "it" and "because" the way the full sentence was written.) It's true that a serial comma is sometimes (even most of the time?) not needed for clarity, but the claim that all serial commas are redundant is a bridge too far. It's simply not true.

    (3) "There are many other symbols that help diminish ambiguity: why always use a comma?" Nice enough use of a colon, but Frankie's going out of her way like that does little to reinforce her argument. The sentence has the feel of a non sequitur: it doesn't show the use of another symbol in a way that would replace the need for a serial comma. ... By the way, the term that should have been used is punctuation marks, not symbols.

    What quibblers such as Frankie fail to acknowledge is that serial commas never add to ambiguity and that they sometimes reduce it. Not having to make a decision whether or not to use a serial comma for clarity saves the writer more time in the long run than it takes to add it. Always using one may increase fractionally the time it takes someone to read what was written, but it keeps readers from having to spend several seconds to re-read and try to sort out what they've just read.


    submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

    cereal killer - One who kills innocent boxes of cereals, over and over again. | The person who eats the last crumbs from the cereal box(es), usually resulting in a wet, lumpy mush instead of cereal + milk. Often, several different cereals will be combined into one breakfasty soup.

    e.g., The Jones's house was broken into. From the Corn Flakes all over the kitchen floor the police knew it was the work of a cereal killer. | Good thing we have a cereal killer in the house or we'd have to throw out the last bowls of cereal from each box. Children, thank your father.

    submitted by Wells Martin | Martin - (www)

    cerebellies - Those who are always thinking of food; it's always heavy on their mind. Cerebelly -- the singular form.

    e.g., My brother is a real cerebelly, and it shows -- 'neath his clothes, corpulence, layers of fat -- stored up for winter I suppose.

    submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

    cerebelum calendarus - The part of the human brain that contains all calendaring functions.

    e.g., Oh yeah, and you told me that you are busy that day and I forgot. I have rocks in my cerebelum calendarus.

    submitted by Ed O'Neil

    cerebrawl - No-holds-barred, vehement, pro and con website postings, that include all major and minor "battle of the mind" issues, including political, social, and savagely personal ones.

    e.g., I innocently began my posting with the statement, "President Obama is . . . " and then the brass-knuckled, cerebrawl responses came pouring in.

    submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

    cerp - The slow evolution of the phrase "See you," to "see ya," to "cya," to "cerp." Basically it means "see ya"

    e.g., Pete: I'm going now, I'll see ya later. Mike: Cerp.

    submitted by Brew-A and the CE crew

    certifiable - Crazy

    e.g., When we were playing in the rain, your mom looked at us like we were certifiable.

    submitted by jujubri

    ceruleate - To become physically bluer in cast and colour.

    e.g., He ceruleated as he choked on the pebble.

    submitted by adam j. sontag - (www)

    cervantes, to pull a - From Miguel de Cervantes, author of Don Quixote. To do something profoundly stupid, completely nonsensical. | To go insane.

    e.g., Did you just tell that RIAA exec that you use Kazaa? You just pulled a Cervantes. | I know I'll be pulling a Cervantes, but I'm gonna jump from the roof of my house into my pool. | Bob cracked his head on the edge of his pool and wound up in the mental hospital. Talk about pulling a Cervantes.

    submitted by PPM

    cetera - Another mysterious food favored by hillbillies (somewhat akin to "sequitur," q.v.).

    e.g., Ah et cetera last night and ah feels poh'ly, sick-lahk, orful, real bad, etc.

    submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

    cewebrity - A web celebrity. (My co-worker JT coined the term.) | An individual who has become famous or developed a cult following by her presence on the internet.

    e.g., Once I get this online comic up and running, I'm going to be a cewebrity. | Rhett and Link have become famous via their website and are now cewebrities. They have a large group of followers, strictly from their website and no other media outlet.

    submitted by Fox | Steve Levin - (www)

    cewilnoa - To write 1th, 2th, and 3th instead of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

    e.g., I hate it when someone cewilnoas.

    submitted by Squackle! - (www)

    cfa - Come From Away. Semi-derogatory term for anyone not born AND reared locally.

    e.g., A stupid CFA bought the house next door.

    submitted by Kilgore

    ch ching - This word means excellent, fantastic and is believed to come from the sound falling coins make when you collect from a slot machine. The opposite of ch ching is ba bau.

    e.g., Thanks for cooking a great meal; it was ch ching.

    submitted by Damien

    ch! - An expression used to display dislike, disapproval, or disbelief in something.

    e.g., Ch! I'm not gonna wear that.

    submitted by Nicole - (www)

    cha - Yeah. Popularized by Mike Myers in the _Wayne's World_ movies.

    e.g., A: So, you got her number? B: Cha.

    submitted by murray

    cha - Child or baby, term of endearment.

    e.g., Hey, cha, how're your chas?

    submitted by Helena

    cha - A synonym for tea. It is actually a Chinese pronunciation of tea.

    e.g., I asked him if he wanted to go to the cha house to drink green cha.

    submitted by VinceM

    chabam - To get excited.

    e.g., I got really chabammed when I heard she was coming to visit.

    submitted by jimbob

    chable - A chair and a table in one. (ED. Not unlike a school desk.)

    e.g., Our class all sat down in our chables this morning.

    submitted by Beale

    chabob - (chuh-BOB; n.) A rather silly slang term for the female breast, usually plural "chabobs" (since they are normally found in pairs in nature). [I've no idea where the word comes from, but I've heard it used this way (usually humorously) since the early '60s.]

    e.g., It doesn't seem to matter that she's only a mediocre actress: she's got a beautiful set of chabobs. | "Did they take your money?" "No, I keep most of my money in my bra. They pick pockets; they don't pick chabobs."

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

    chach - See "chav." A chach is the guy who comes to the club with a vest and no shirt under it, gold chains, and fake tan. He thinks he rules and tries to hit on you blatantly. May have originated with "Chachi" from Happy Days.

    e.g., I can't believe Chris shaves his chest. Definitely a chach.

    submitted by cody

    chach - Term of endearment.

    e.g., Hi, chach, how are your things?

    submitted by Helena - (www)

    chach - A person of sub-par intelligence, tact, wit, personality, or all of the above. A shortening of the proper name "Chachie," etymologists believe the term comes out of a comparison between the subject (the "chach"), and actor Scott Bao, who is generally held in low regard by most civilized people. A chach of the highest order is sometimes called "Arcola," Chachie's last name.

    e.g., My new roommate is a chach. He eats my food. With his mouth open. In his underpants. While my girlfriend's over.

    submitted by Jake Harold

    chack - One's forehead, especially used in times of crisis or irritation where a harsher sounding word is required.

    e.g., Arrrgh, I just cracked my chack on the light over the pool table. Piece of crap is too low.

    submitted by Andrew Bell

    chacker - A cheater in an online game that uses hacks.

    e.g., Looks like The Hornet is a chacker.

    submitted by Josh Priddy

    chacky - Tacky. | Bad tasting in a way you can't describe--other than as "chacky."

    e.g., Feliss, your jeans are so chacky. They went out four seasons ago. | That curry was really chacky. I don't know what was wrong with it, but it wasn't any good.

    submitted by feliss

    chaedaque - Hed-ayk. A very minor dizziness that lasts for no more than two minutes. Causes are unknown; however, it is believed to be caused by too much television or time spent in front of the computer.

    e.g., Got anything for my chaedaque? I can't seem to walk straight.

    submitted by Jeff

    chafim - Falling for no reason at all.

    e.g., Sam chafims all the time.

    submitted by Sam and Sasha

    chag - To toil with heavy eyes and a tired mind at unreasonable hours, striving for nothing short of the brilliance that is expected by a brilliant teacher.

    e.g., I chagged until my mind just about crashed with exhaustion.

    submitted by zoinkies

    chaglinate - To stand on your head

    e.g., When I am bored I chaglinate.

    submitted by jEnna

    chagrimace - The physical expression of chagrin.

    e.g., Maria couldn't help but chagrimace when her frat star co-workers were discussing the Olsen twins' "potential."

    submitted by Sharyn Morrow - (www)

    chaif - A beautiful girl that you would like to chalk up

    e.g., lets go out and Chalk up some chaif's

    submitted by tim - (www)

    chair gravity - The force of attraction between a comfortable chair and that of the person sitting in it. Chair gravity is 1.94 times that of Earth norm (1.0), always less than bed gravity, and can have a variance of +-.28.

    e.g., Because potato chips from the kitchen were required, he was able to overcome the force of chair gravity, but only with extreme difficulty.

    submitted by Andy Alt - (www)

    chair ish - An elder person's love for sedentary tasks involving sitting down.

    e.g., As a youngster I truly enjoyed the challenge of playing several types of sports, even horse shoes. Now I chair ish the activities of reading, watching t.v., and, particularly, snacking.

    submitted by Charlie Lesko

    chaired-up - When one has acquired a chair and is in a sitting position.

    e.g., "Are you sitting down?" "Thank you, I'm all chaired-up."

    submitted by james

    chairestic - Happy.

    e.g., Brandy was chairestic when her PseudoDictionary submittal was accepted. Little did she know all the entries that day made it.

    submitted by Brandy 7th English

    chakos - Exclamation, when something surprises you.

    e.g., Chakos! This is the real stuff.

    submitted by luis

    chalast - A combination of confidence, sarcasm, grace, talent, pride, dettachment, boldness, and sharpness. Chalast does not necessarily imply virtue. One who has chalast has no shame or embarrassment in making any public reputation of themselves as long as they see it's merit.

    e.g., What someone with chalast would say: I understand the business, I hear it: to have an open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for a cut-purse; a good nose is requisite also, to smell out work for the other senses. I see this is the time that the unjust man doth thrive. What an exchange had this been without boot! What a boot is here with this exchange! Sure the gods do this year connive at us, and we may do any thing extempore. The prince himself is about a piece of iniquity, stealing away from his father with his clog at his heels: if I thought it were a piece of honesty to acquaint the king withal, I would not do't: I hold it the more knavery to conceal it; and therein am I constant to my profession. (taken from a monologue by Autolycus in "A Winter's Tale" by Shakespeare)

    submitted by Callum Nissen - (www)

    chalk up - "To put a notch on your bed post, or to pull a girl"

    e.g., Lets go Chalk up some Chaifs

    submitted by tim - (www)

    chalked - To be hit with a chalk eraser leaving chalk all over your back.

    e.g., I was chalked during math class.

    submitted by snowboardinghockeyplayer3 - (www)

    chamberment - Isolation, detachment.

    e.g., Underground tunnels give a feeling of chamberment because the tunnel completely blocks off all areas.

    submitted by Nick A - (www)

    chameleonic - Having the characteristics of a chameleon in a social behavioral way.

    e.g., The chameleonic Branka was amazingly able to walk from the disco across the street to the biker bar and make friends all the same.

    submitted by Andrew Pschirrer

    champ of the bucket - Sarcastic phrase used when someone wins her own contest, especially if she's the only one participating.

    e.g., Chris: Hah, I beat you to the car, even though you didn't know we were racing. Dave: Way to go Chris -- you're the champ of the bucket.

    submitted by Terry Johnson - (www)

    champagne socialist - A political term I ran across today that really intrigued me. Essentially the same as a limo|limousine liberal in the United States.  
    Similar terms: Chardonnay Socialist, Bourgeois Bohemian, Gauche Caviar, Gucci Socialist, Salon Bolshevik. Related: East Coast Liberal, Hollywood Left, Jewish Left, Liberal Elite, Radical Chic, West Coast Liberal.  


    1. The Telegraph » "Valérie Trierweiler 'succumbs to Marie-Antoinette syndrome of life of luxury'": "President François Hollande's 47-year old partner was slammed for eschewing her Left-wing principles in favour of unabashed champagne Socialism despite the threat of 'thousands of job losses in the coming weeks' in companies ranging from Renault to Air France." |

    2. The Daily Mail » "'Champagne socialist' François Hollande under fire as he makes his first trip as French a £12,000-an-hour private jet": "The left-wing leader — who has promised massive tax hikes for the rich — was whisked into Paris in the luxurious Falcon 900 aircraft within hours of winning the election on Sunday night." |

    3. Wikipedia Talk: "Champagne Socialists may claim to be against the capitalist system but will still happily function in it. Well they don't have much choice, do they? If the system IS a capitalist one, what are they supposed to do? Refuse to work and sit in a tent for 30 years waiting for capitalism to collapse? What about people in communist countries who don't particularly agree with their system but still happily function in it? What childish term would you apply to them? Pathetic." |

    4. "Who do you find more annoying: Champagne Socialists or hard-nosed Tories?": "Do you find middle/class upper class socialists who live the life they criticise the most or Tories who constantly say to 'take responsibility' and say no one deserves help or hand-outs the most annoying?" Genocidal: "Champagne socialists by far. Hard-nosed Tories are simply who we expect them to be, whereas the champagne socialist is a hypocrite." |

    submitted by HD Fowler

    champagne-in-the-a** (aka butt, posterior, rear or tush) - Someone who becomes loud and obnoxious (or worse) from drinking too much sparkling wine.

    e.g., Please do NOT invite Verne to the wedding. Sober, he's a prince. But after a couple of glasses of bubbly, he becomes a champagne-in-the-a**.

    submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

    champaigning - To combine drinking a sparkling wine with political campaigning.

    e.g., There's no need for champaigning once you've won the election.

    submitted by HD Fowler

    champers - Sham-pers. British slang for champagne.

    e.g., Any champers left? I'm thirsty after the caviar.

    submitted by Stephen Mize

    championees - Champions

    e.g., Qs sung by soccer fans worldwide,"Championees, championees are we are we are we.

    submitted by briantginge

    chana - Table.

    e.g., 1. The books were kept on the chana. 2. Would you set up for dinner, please? Start by putting the china on the chana.

    submitted by Aish

    chancha - A woman dressed in an inappropriate manner, low class. Overtly sexual but with bad taste.

    e.g., We will never invite chanchas to our parties.

    submitted by Cristina Baldor

    chandler wannabe - People with few social skills who attempt to make conversation by endlessly quoting from TV shows popular at the time. From the character Chandler Bing on Friends.

    e.g., Know Chris from Accounts Payable? He's a chandler wannabe.

    submitted by Martyn

    chaney - Deceitful, deceptive, mischievous, manipulative or conniving. Sneaky, for example, saying or doing something for purely self-serving reasons while trying to pass it off as being altruistic.

    e.g., "Will, you're so chaney, you only want to give him a lift so you can get out of doing housework."

    submitted by Nick Litzow

    chang - A combination between chillin' and hangin'.

    e.g., Let's go chang at the old folks home later. Maybe we can get some free pudding.

    submitted by Bob Boarker

    chank - Derogatory term, applied to situations where you feel cheated or left out.

    e.g., We missed the bus. That's chank.

    submitted by Timothy Maxwell

    chanker - Someone who chews snuff with her mouth open.

    e.g., I was on the tube this morning, and I stood right next to a chanker. Chank. Chank. Chank. Chank. Chank. Disgusting habit. Deadly, too.

    submitted by Scotty

    chanker - To inflict physical punishment.

    e.g., If you don't pay me the money you owe me I will chanker you upside the head.

    submitted by Nick Marino

    chanker - A person who is doing something unappealing to others.

    e.g., So what's new? Chris is just being a chanker ... as usual.

    submitted by Blake Douglas Shmalberg

    channelate - When you are talking to someone about something and he suddenly changes the topic.

    e.g., Mo always channelates from football to religion to books while we talk.

    submitted by Ally

    chanticipation - A state experienced at or near the end of a song as the listener expects a specific song to follow, due to album order, etc.

    e.g., After the station played "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" my strong chanticipation of "Rock the Casbah" was dashed by a string of commercials.

    submitted by adam thorsell

    chapel hell - You're trapped in a fundamentalist chapel (or church) forever and ever. | You're a fundamentalist trapped in Catholic heaven for all eternity. | You're a humanist or agnostic or otherwise free of religion, but still forced to go to church (by circumstances); you're trapped seemingly forever. | Temple of doom, confining, restrictive, dogmatic, unfree religion or church.

    e.g., Chapel hell is a type of torture and insult to ones intelligence. One would do well to avoid it and engage in more productive, useful activity. Many are victims of mindwash and mental, emotional, and practical control, though some may escape eventually and be free of the irrational illogical programming, it is hoped.

    submitted by Erik Noormansen - (www)

    chappin-easy - For those chilly days when the sun is shining but it is cold.

    e.g., Here comes December, with its chappin-easy days.

    submitted by Fi Strong - (www)

    chaps, the - Solid objects appearning to jerk spasmodically during childhood fevers. (I'm told this can also happen to drying-out alcoholics.) Term invented by me as a four-year-old during a particularly strong bout of fever.

    e.g., Poor wee Jimmy's got the chaps.

    submitted by Adam Leslie

    charactor - From a misspelling. 1. Character actor. 2. An actor or actress fans will recognize only as the character played. In the late 1970s the TV advertisement character "Mr. Whipple" "was the third best known American, behind Richard Nixon and Billy Graham." Not that many people would have known the actor was Dick Wilson. Charachter.

    e.g., 1. Charactors aren't as well know as the stars, but they are indispensable to good movies. 2. One of my favorite charactors on TV was the babe in the Hai Karate commercials. Do you have any idea what her name was? Or were there lots of them?

    submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

    charcracker - One whose personality is a little off.

    e.g., Bill Clinton is a real charcracker.

    submitted by Penny Ruffin - (www)

    charflin - To hinder or impede other people's use of electronic equipment for no apparent reason and without permission.

    e.g., I can't believe Chris charflinned the server again.

    submitted by Mike Sacco

    charge leftist - The leftist (aka liberal or progressive) in charge of or the face of a so-called non-partisan organization that is clearly partisan -- and is about as far left as you can get without tipping over.

    e.g., If PBS's Charge Leftist (Bill Moyers) is counting on me for his fan base, he'll be disappointed. Very, very disappointed.

    submitted by HD Fowler

    charge nurse - "A nurse in charge of a hospital ward."

    e.g., I said to the charge nurse, "This conversation is over. You're dismissed." She didn't look happy, but she kept her mouth shut. Guess I showed her who was in charge, didn't I?

    submitted by HD Fowler

    charicature - Caricature. | In fiction, a caricature of a character.

    e.g., Women are taught to be men without penises, too often crude charicatures of the worst examples of the male species. | [Jordan Hiller] "Sid is a charicature who would not exist in real life. The relationship he has with the King family would not exist in real life."

    submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

    charismagic - The magic of charisma.

    e.g., The rotten liberals were spellbound by the charismagic of a man called Dean.

    submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

    charisn'tma - The opposite of charisma; the lack of any discernible personality, warmth or charm in an individual -- as coined by Tory and Tom. Charisnt'matic.

    e.g., Chris has real charisn'tma. That's why he's always buying drinks for everyone -- it's the only way he can get anyone to hang around.

    submitted by Benjamino

    charity mole - an expression used to describe a young, dressed up girl in a nightclub taking advantage of an older, rich man exclusively for his money

    e.g., see that chick over there latched onto that old guy? She is so a charity mole

    submitted by EmPyreaN

    charlatan - A person, who lives in or near a place called Charlotte.

    e.g., The Mayor of Charlotte, NC? He's a charlatan.

    submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

    charley chant - The pointless recitation of something no longer either relevant or indeed comprehensible -- like the high ceremonial English in some legal documents (e.g., "Cometh now affiant and sweareth upon oath as follows ...," or "Whereas buyer has been enfeoffed of the land comprising blackacre by warranty deed ...," and so forth ad nauseam) (from the utterly self-contradictory calling of the courtroom to order back in 1648 or '49 when the Parliament was about to try (and condemn) King Charles. The Bailiff, after the usual high-flown "Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! Let all who have business before this honorable court ... blah blah blah," and then, at the end, as Charles sat down before his executioners, the bailiff intoned "God save the King!" -- which is exactly what they didn't want God (or anyone else) to do).

    e.g., "What's all this at the beginning?: 'forasmuch as the parties hereto (hereinafter the Parties) have covenanted and agreed ...'" "Oh, that's just Charley Chant: I've checked it over, you're safe to sign ... just don't let anyone read it to you while you're driving."

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

    charlie foxtrot - The phonetic alphabet acronym for clusterfuck. Used by the military.

    e.g., Well this exercise turned out to be a real Charlie Foxtrot, didn't it?

    submitted by Derek Browning

    charmin - A child whose parents are overprotective. Taken from the 1970s commercials featuring Mr. Whipple being overprotective of the Charmin brand toilet paper, warning customers at his store, "Don't squeeze the Charmin!"

    e.g., Don't bother trying to get close to her. She's charmin.

    submitted by bigSimon - (www)

    charmin-g - Exhibiting a suave, gregarious, endearing demeanor, notwithstanding the toilet paper stuck to the bottom of one's shoe or in some other inappropriate place.

    e.g., Do we tell Casanova over there to check his fly for paper, or do we let him go on being charmin-g for a while?

    submitted by wogerdodger

    charmy - Charming.

    e.g., I thought his introduction of himself was very charmy.

    submitted by Jen - (www)

    charp - The one green mutant chip in every packet of chips.

    e.g., What the hell's going on here? There's only supposed to be one charp, but there must be a dozen. I want my money back.

    submitted by whitestuff

    chartmanship - Chart craftsmanship, the ability to prepare a beautiful presentation to cover up the fact that it contains no real information.

    e.g., Murray's half-baked proposal was accepted by the board chiefly due to his chartmanship.

    submitted by Adam Deslauriers

    chasenhap - Regal, magnificent, and just generally awesome.

    e.g., Mollye. How are you feeling today, Luke? Luke. I'm quite chasenhap, thank you. And you?

    submitted by Luke Simonds - (www)

    chastigate - When you don't know whether to castigate or chastise, you can now chastigate and be sure you've got it right.

    e.g., She chastigated him for failing to consider her feelings about her obese cat.

    submitted by Chris - (www)

    chastity belt - Ironic; to be hit upon by a lesbian such as Chastity Bono.

    e.g., I was given a real Chastity belt in the bar just now.

    submitted by Bob Riedel

    chatastrophic - Pertaining to the tendency of those who were involved in a calamity, to narrate repeatedly, and in great detail, their personal experiences and observations, of the event.

    e.g., "Well, it was really chatastrophic! The time was about noon; I was sitting at a table at El Cholo's restaurant, and I heard screaming coming from the street. Then, to my horror, a sharp crack appeared in the ceiling. Uh... did I forget to tell you also that I was eating lunch, a taco salad, with green salsa, and a bottle of Corona beer?... when..."

    submitted by Charlie Lesko

    chatchy - Used to describe girls who pollute the air with hairspray, travel in large packs, are obsessed with labels, and have an inane tendency towards saying "like ... you know, whatever."

    e.g., "Gee, I hate going into the bathroom between classes because there's always a bunch of chatchy girls there." "Defintely. I think the fumes did something to their brains."

    submitted by Daniboo

    chatisfaction - After a long session of IRC chatting to a friend, when you're having a great time.

    e.g., After MSNing with Fred for hours, I was really chatisfied.

    submitted by Zsuszo

    chatnik - Those people who hang out in chatrooms, coined by those who met in the TalkTV chatroom.

    e.g., I consider myself a chatnik.

    submitted by Susan Keeping

    chatosis - The psychological condition associated with excessive chatting, lacking all other forms of communication other than chat,

    e.g., Her chatosis is so severe she couldn't talk if she wanted to.

    submitted by rj - (www)

    chatterbrain - One who takes IRC and other chat-related activities far too seriously -- to the point of depression or never speaking to someone again.

    e.g., He saw her chatting to another guy, so he's stopped eating. . . . He's a chatterbrain.

    submitted by Cliff

    chatterfuge - Chat that involves false identities.

    e.g., You’ve been chatterfuged by that user, bigboyhot4u. He ain’t doin’ nuthin’ but chatterfuge. | If Anthony Weiner had half a brain, he'd have engaged in chatterfuge rather than reveal his real identity. So what's the deal with him doing a Brazilian job on his chest? Ya' don't suppose. . . .

    submitted by rj - (www)

    chatty - Name given to a place that is potentially dangerous. The biggest threats: gangs, muggers, rapists and thugs. If entering one of these areas, say goodbye to your wallet and mobile phone.

    e.g., Sam and Kerem were walking around chatty when they were approached by two thugs who took their wallets.

    submitted by Sammmy

    chatty cathy - Someone who talks a great deal. Mostly connected with phone conversations.

    e.g., She talked to me on the phone for two hours. She sure is a Chatty Cathy.

    submitted by Quigs

    chatty kathy - A person (boy or girl) who talks too much.

    e.g., The lady in the aisle seat was a chatty kathy.

    submitted by brandon - (www)

    chauffeuse - (show-FUSE; n.) 1. The woman driving the car; 2. the person in charge of transportation who happens to be female. [The 'correct' feminine form of the masculine "chauffeur."]

    I like feminine words, like chauffeuse, because, although I am a fan of neuter agent names (such as doctor, professor, actor, etc.), I much prefer to use the words appropriate to gender from the source language. The choice modern English speakers have made, to simply abandon feminine agentive suffix forms, is, to my mind, insulting to the whole gender. Women don't need to abandon their femininity to be equal to men, and the language shouldn't have to abandon its whole feminine gender out of some bizarre belief that women are somehow ashamed of being women and would rather be labelled with masculine words. Crepes, baguettes, bing, bublik, sourdough, and zwieback are all "bread," I suppose, but not having the more specific terms robs the language of necessary distinctions. And women are more important than bread.

    I know, someone will cry foul at this point and assert that I'm trying to "keep women down" or something. Quite the reverse: I greatly admire women (actually, I suppose, I greatly admire everybody who makes things better in this place, something women do admirably ... which is why I admire them). Calling occupations by their feminine names (when performed by women) is hardly denigrating to those who do them. But it IS kind of disparaging (and not a little patronizing) to call women by the masculine labels, making them give up their womanhood before they can be accepted in a given profession. Who you are is much more important than what you do, and men should just man up and accept women, and their feminine suffixes, rather than trying to homogenize everything under masculine labels.

    Sorry. I get going and can't really shut up

    e.g., Please, would you remind my chaffeuse to be at the back entrance to pick me up at nine o'clock. [ED. Is it "correct" to punctuate a "polite request" such as this with a period?

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

    chaunce - To land hard enough on one's feet to cause pain in the testicles.

    e.g., When I jumped off the roof I chaunced so hard I almost cried.

    submitted by d cro

    chaunch - A hot girl seen from afar. Could possibly be used to describe hot guys. Baby chaunch: jailbait.

    e.g., Check out the chaunch standing by the bar. Do you think I've got a chance with her?

    submitted by Janna and Wade

    chaunfice - 1. A person's wing-man or go to guy. 2. One who fights. 3. Right-hand man. See also, "Champion"

    e.g., Rich will take the big one, he's my chaunfice.

    submitted by Russ Cersosimo

    chav - A "snobbish" yet common female. Must wear gold clown necklace -- the bigger, the worse. From Lower Kent, England.

    e.g., Look at that clown Chris. She's a top-class chav.

    submitted by Chasa

    chavamachy - (pronounced with the velar spirant that also begins_Hanukkah_: hah-VAH-mick-key (or -muck-key); n.) 1. Armageddon; 2. Any enormous or regime-toppling battle; 3. The Gulf Wars of 1990-91 and 2003-?, called by Saddam Hussein "The Mother of All Battles." [From Hebrew_Chavvah_"Eve," the "Mother of Life" or "Mother of All" + Greek_machy_"battle"---hence, mother of all battles" ... granted, I should probably have used the Hebrew for "battle," which is_milchamah_or_lacham_, which would give "Chavamilchamah" or "Chavalacham," which both sound good too.]

    e.g., "Saddam thought the first gulf war was going to be a Chavamachy, but it ended up being little more than a bush war." "...Wow, what an awful pun."

    submitted by scott m. ellsworth

    chaver - A lighthearted manner in which to describe a person who is a bit of an idiot.

    e.g., Come on you chaver, we're going to be late.

    submitted by Chrissy the Boy

    chawesome - Something both choice and awesome.

    e.g., Bert: I got a new BMX for my birthday--and fifty bucks! Ernie: Chawesome.

    submitted by J Cienfuegos

    chawgo - This is a family name found in Upstate NY in the late 1700s and today. There are variant spellings of the name, just as with other early surnames. Some of the early and later spellings of the name are SCHAGO, SCHAKO, TSCHAKO, SHAKO, SHAGO, CHAGO, CHAUGO, CHANGO, CHOUGO, CHOWGO, CHAWGO (and others no doubt!). This serves to illustrate that there can be many spellings ofo the same last name, so that the ancestor hunter needs to have some imagination and knowledge of possible other spellings. Good hunting.

    e.g., Are you sure your family name is Chawgo? Maybe it's Chaugo.

    submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

    chawiener - A mix between a dachshund and a chihuahua -- a long torso, buggy eyes, and ears similar to a dachshund but with more cartilage. They are also typically reviled by nature and all people, save for their owners.

    e.g., Lance flaunted the law and illegally bread chawieners, despite the local ban on such animals.

    submitted by h_ank

    chawny - Pertaining to food. Unpalatable in both flavour and consistancy.

    e.g., Ugh! I am never staying at Eugene's house again. His mom serves up chawny pig-slop.

    submitted by Murray - (www)

    chayf - The awful feeling that you get when you discover that your bedsheets are covered in crumbs.

    e.g., I hopped into bed and very quickly noticed that there were crumbs everywhere. I chayfed all night. Not much REM dreaming, either.

    submitted by Stevron

    chaz - A lint, fuzz, and cheese compound found the top of the crack of someone (usually male) displaying plumbers' butt.

    e.g., As Dave the handyman kneeled to fix her sink, Melissa was horrified to see the chaz firmly cemented at the top of his plumber's butt.

    submitted by lavaboy

    chd - Coat Hanger Distortion. When you get a wire coat hanger and distort it into different shapes.

    e.g., Michael is really into CHD.

    submitted by Paul

    che kneed - The condition when a friend adds insult to an accidental injury. Figuratively, the action of a "pal" or "buddy" ("che" in Italian) who inexplicably knees one in the groin.

    e.g., I know my hunting pal, Dennis, meant to throw the beer bottle into the trash can on our firing ground and was genuinely sorry that I was standing nearby, got hit in the head, fell down a steep embankment, shredding all my clothes in the process and winding up in a heap on the ground below. But when he che kneed me with his remark that "If I was going to lie there like that for any length of time, I should raise my butt a little higher 'cause I'd make a good Polish bicycle rack" I knew I'd have to get even with him if it took my whole lifetime to do so.

    submitted by Charlie Lesko

    cheatery - To cheat in a sport or game by way of deception.

    e.g., Lisa won that hand of cards by using cheatery.

    submitted by Brian Snyder

    cheavers - Goat meat , from the French "chevre."

    e.g., While Anglo-Saxons ate "pig," "cow," and "goat," their Norman conquerors ate "pork," "beef," and "cheavers."

    submitted by rayg - (www)

    chebluhbeh - Used when you can't think of words to form a sentence good enough to say.

    e.g., Slim: Yeah, I like that game, too. Bob: Chebluhbeh. Slim: Exactly.

    submitted by Guttius

    check check - Double checking. Or, as is said of Santa, checking it twice. Both noun and verb.

    e.g., "You rarely mispel a word or leave out a punctuation mark How do you manage to do that" "I check check my work before I 'publish' it. Sometimes I even check check check it. . . . Then, if I still fowl up, I may catch it after it's gone live when I'm just meandering through the entries, looking for something to make me laugh again."

    submitted by HD Fowler

    check, please - Used when something happens you like. Used as a statement when something happens you don't like.

    e.g., 1. All right. Jane asked me out for the prom. Check, please. 2. One day until the prom, and the only person who asked me out was a guy. Check, please.

    submitted by Cliff Wade

    checkly - At the time one is paid.

    e.g., "We'll need monthly payments." "Oh, no problem: in fact, we should be able to make checkly payments -- you know, twice monthly."

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

    cheddar - Money, cash. Mad cheddar: mucho cheddar.

    e.g., "Chris must have mad cheddar to be driving that Benz." "No, it's stolen. Haven't you noticed that he only drives it in his mother's neighborhood at night?"

    submitted by Mike C - (www)

    cheddar - School bus--the yellow paint resembles cheddar cheese.

    e.g., Hurry up. If we miss the cheddar, we're going to have to walk home.

    submitted by stew

    chee - (n.) 1. an individual cheese curd (based on the seeming plurality of the word "cheese" as in "peas," which was originally singular 400 centuries ago); 2. a single slice or piece of cheese.

    e.g., Oh, look, there on the serving spoon: one last cottage chee.

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

    cheech-marin - To wait or remain in one place for an additional period of time.

    e.g., Don't leave yet. Let's cheech-marin here for a while.

    submitted by Tad

    cheechandchonga - My wife loves Mexican food especially chimichangas, a fried burrito all kinds of goodies rolled up inside like beans, rice, meat, cheese. Speaking of rolling stuff up inside something -- back in the 60s the comedy duo Cheech and Chong used to roll other things, hence the name I use for that Mexican dish: cheechandchonga

    e.g., At a Mexican restaurant: "Yes, Ma'am, I would like a plate of cheechandchongas."

    submitted by John S. Duckering - (www)

    cheedle - The reddish-orange, dusty residue left on your fingers after eating a bag of Cheetos.

    e.g., After eating those Cheetos, boy, did I have a lot of cheedle on my fingers.

    submitted by Steven

    cheef - To smoke, especially when applied to marijuana.

    e.g., The stoner retired to his quarters to cheef a joint.

    submitted by Andrew Troupis

    cheekunk - Mountain chipmunk.

    e.g., Cheekunks will eat from your hand sometimes.

    submitted by n holmes

    cheema - Calling someone a cheema means they look like Mowgli the man-cub from The Jungle Book.

    e.g., Luke, you're a cheema.

    submitted by Luke Horsham

    cheep seats - The seats where the chickens sit.

    e.g., I'm not always amused, but I do always find it interesting when I see some "journalist" sitting in a cheep seat taking a cheap shot, saying someone lacks cojones -- especially when it's said of a genuine war hero.

    submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

    cheeriomagnetization - The tendency of the last four or five cheerios in the bowl to stick together for survival.

    e.g., Bobby's last few Apple-Cinnamon Breakfast Squares floated in his bowl on their own, each square independent and solitary of the other, unlike the cheeriomagnetization exhibited when he usually finished a bowl of his favorite low-sugar cereal-- all the o's hugging each other as if they just got tossed off the Titanic.

    submitted by j - (www)

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