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corporate gelding - A well-paid, upper management employee made "tractable" by the company through exalted salary, position, and benefits. Will not hesitate to foresake his own personal values or betray friends in order to keep his corporate position secure.

e.g., When Eric was fired for doing the morally right thing, his immediate superior (and good friend) just stood by like a corporate gelding.

submitted by Shirley Ng

corporate shagcandy - A woman who works within an institution or corporation and is known for her easy sexual availability, usually for the sake of advancement.

e.g., In a delicious turn of gender identification, Brandy described Steve as shagcandy. | Brian knew she was typical corporate shagcandy when she did a hairflip as she asked if there was anything more he needed before she left his office.

submitted by Steve Kirkby

corporate speak - The needlessly complex and verbose form of mutilated English used by corporate leaders and their minions in the false hope of simulating a highly scientific or intellectual discussion.

e.g., Our tiger-team teams and interfaces in multiple cross-functional environments to create multi-tiered systems, which integrate dollarized performance metrics, goals, roles, processes and procedures, and interpersonal relationships, with: includes/excludes, threats and opportunities, sources of resistance, and stakeholder buy-in matrices.

submitted by Reed

corpse - Corps, as pronounced by President obama. (I don't remember where I saw the example, which I altered somewhat. . . .Found it.)

e.g., Until she retired, Helen Thomas sported the most-well groomed moustache in the White House Press Corpse.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

corpsetrunk - Reference to an extremely large trunk on a car. An acquaintance recently began to expand its usage by using it in regards to a large, unattractive rear end.

e.g., When we travel, we always take my car because it's got the corpsetrunk. | If it weren't for the corpsetrunk, Sheila would be 100 percent babe.

submitted by Phalange Necklace - (www)

corpsichord - A musical instrument made from a dead body, often including keys that were once ribs, resonating chambers that were once lungs, and pedals that were once femurs. Corpsichords are notoriously difficult to tune, especially in cases where the original owner of the body possessed an inferior singing voice.

e.g., The composer's final work was a dirge in the key of D written for solo corpsichord.

submitted by Bryn Kanar - (www)

corpsing - From Wikipedia, "Corpsing is a British theatrical slang term used to describe when an actor unintentionally breaks character during a scene by laughing or by causing another cast member to laugh."

e.g., Dame Judi Dench, who "is battling to save her eyesight," "Actually, what I miss are people corpsing on stage." {ED. This seems to be an instance of a Brit using a plural verb where an American would use a singular verb. We're say, "The organization is. . . ." where Brits would say, "The organization are. . . ." A project for later.}

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

corpulate - To be screwed by the company or corporation one works for.

e.g., It was time for my annual raise, and sure enough, I was corpulated again.

submitted by Mike Komblevicz

corpus-bones - This sucks.

e.g., Corpus-bones! I cant belive we have to do this.

submitted by Torence - (www)

corpusology - Corpusology is the study of body language. Corpus from the Latin for body and ology from the Greek|Latin for study of.

e.g., The latest development in facial recognition software is the use of subject-matter experts in corpusology to develop software algorithms to detect the emotional state of a suspect.

submitted by Paul F Kisak - (www)

corputer - (Lat corpus, body + Lat computare, to count) -- a computer or any digital device implanted into the human body; a futuristic term refering to an organ of the cyborg. | Corporeal computer, an electronic prosthetic device that through many interconnected microchips and artificial neurons has become a part of human body.

e.g., In the foreseeable future, the computational power of corputers will exceed that of traditional external computers. | In the future, computers will be transformed into corputers and become integrated with human bodies.

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

correct - Used to describe a person conspicuously committed to politically correct causes or liberal ideology.

e.g., The man is so correct he's got save the whales, save the spotted-owls, save the rain-forests, and Nader 2000 stickers plastered to the back side of his solar-powered bicycle.

submitted by Stephen Mize

correct-amundo - The correct answer. Usually said in a casual way, and like some kind of cliche' overblown game show host. Raise voice, and slow down speech exponentially as you get towards the end of the word. Correct-aamuuunDDDOOOOOOOOOO!

e.g., From Pulp Fiction: JULES: C'mon Yolanda, what's Fonzie like? YOLANDA: (through tears, unsure) He's cool? JULES: Correct-amundo! And that's what we're gonna be; we're gonna be cool. {ED. Pulp Fiction replaced The Graduate as my favorite movie.

submitted by Carlos Coutinho

correctitude - Being examined by TWO proctologists simultaneously.

e.g., Correctitude is far more awkward then just rectitude (q.v.).

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

corredespondent - To be upset or despondent that no one writes to you anymore. Not receiving mail from friends leaves one feeling somewhat despondent.

e.g., Nothing but bills in the mailbox. Makes me feel corredespondent yet again.

submitted by Joceline Davis

corringe, forringe - A corringe is the ironed front pleat of a pair of dress pants, a forringe the rear. (These words were created and used extensively at Cal State University, San Francisco, in the early 1990s. They addressed a lack of proper nouns for ironed pleats and also remedied the lack of words that rhyme with orange. The songwriters and doggerel writers in the area were thankful for our inventions.)

e.g., Your corringes and forringes all look sharp.

submitted by Ducky B. Duckworth

corrose - (noun or adjective) A tired, crabby, fusty old curmudgeon with the usual experience and quality hardware underneath the noxious crust. Usually still with a snicker, able to two-step (or jig if you prefer) and a gleam in her eye.

e.g., As the days trickle by I feel I'm rapidly becoming a corrose. Well, so be it, long as I can still make them younguns scratch their heads and wonder about me.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

corrumption - Self-referential word for "mispronunciation of a word due to deficient phonological hearing capabilities."

e.g., “Clonkyen” is a corrumption of Dutch. “klontjes.”

submitted by René

corvus - Excellent, cool

e.g., That is just corvus.

submitted by Lofyr

cos' i was in the war - When you do something not to be proud of and need something to blame it on, say it with a southern drawl.

e.g., You get drunk and fall over all the time and say, "It's cos I was in the war."

submitted by fallenangel

cosher - A real word. As an adjective, it has the same meaning as kosher: "conforming to dietary laws." As a verb: "to treat with special fondness; pamper."

e.g., I think grandmothers are a lot more likely to cosher their grandchildren than mothers are to cosher their children.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cosilliosis - The way two people play at each others' nonsense and absurdity to laugh and have a good time (especially that laughing part). Children are most often disposed to this, and in descending order: family, friends, spouses, and then of course … rank strangers and comedians.

e.g., That lovely girl of mine and I have quite a lot of cosilliosis since we're friends, lovers, and naturally family, being married and all. My recommendation is every feller get stoopid with his wife.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

cosimetrixon - Mathematical problema with high difficulty degrees, mainly appearing in geometria.

e.g., Marcel was not able to resolve this cosimetrixon.

submitted by Tatomir Ion Marius

cosmeg - Pron. koz'meg. Short for "cosmic egg." A universe that exists in a pre-"big bang," unexpanded state. Not in dictionaries, but used in article about Isaac Asimov novel "The Gods Themselves". Ref: Wikipedia entry for The_Gods_Themselves. (Not taking credit here -- appears to be either Asimov's coinage or astrophysical slang.)

e.g., From the Wikipedia article: "[H]e taps into yet another parallel universe, that exists in a pre-big bang state (a cosmic egg or cosmeg). . . ."

submitted by Michael Brennan

cosmic dope slap - Punishment of some sort, after doing something that you shouldn't have done. Cosmic dope slaps apparently are ordained by whoever occupies the heavens.

e.g., I got a cosmic dope slap when I bit into that giant cookie -- I accidentally bit the inside of my cheek. Ouch!

submitted by Mona Lisa

cosmic pinpoint - Theory has it that prior to the Really Big Bang, the whole Universe was contained in a tiny point in Space. Now isn't that kind of a hard thing to buy?

e.g., Rather than the protoUniverse being a mere cosmic pinpoint, wouldn't it be more believable if it were at least the size of a basketball? or a small planet? or a cosmic sun? Since it's all rather speculative, we need not be dogmatic about what we imagine it to be.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

cosmicommie - A flower child with political power or any influential position.

e.g., The movie producer wrote another cosmicommie pilot for television.

submitted by Norm De Pleum

cosmopsis - Paralyzed and unable to make a decision because you're overwhelmed by too many choices.

e.g., Some high school seniors experience cosmopsis and don't send out a single application for college admission.

submitted by Joel Parker

cosmosis - Cultural osmosis. A kind of osmosis that does not exist -- where city-dwellers who think their living in a metropolitan area with access to venues of culture they never visit makes them culturally sophisticated. They also think their city dwelling makes them cosmopolites, although they have extremely limited contact with cultures other than that of their immediate families. They fail to recognize what shallow provincialists they are.

e.g., Nothin' like livin' in the Big Apple for me. Beats the hell out of living in Binghamton with all that clean air and sunshine. Yeah, I know. I've never been to Lincoln Center -- or even to Rockefeller Center. Haven't been to MOMA either -- or any other museum, for that matter. Art galleries and museums are for eggheads and the rich. Can't afford to go to a Knicks game either, but I'm still a big fan. Still, I've been to Central Park several times. I figure I've benefitted from cosmosis and am much more suave than any hick who lives in a flyover state.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cosmotose - Not having a clue as to what on earth is going on. Cosmostose.

e.g., He's been in the woods by himself so long he's become cosmotose.

submitted by A.J.

cosplay - Costume play. Where adults dress up in costumes of Japanese anime or game characters.

e.g., I am going to a cosplay party as Pikachu.

submitted by epyon - (www)

coss - Putting an empty milk carton or bag onto a skateboard.

e.g., Don't bother showing up for the competition until you can manage to coss.

submitted by BigAssFries

cossackcracy - Rule by members of a people of southern Russia famed as horsemen or circumstances having a similar feel.

e.g., The school administration supports fraternities no matter what they do. It upholds the cossackracy.

submitted by Nev

costa rican rum - A drink made from milk, nutmeg, sugar, and a big tablespoon of vanilla extract. It has a mild hint of being an alcoholic beverage and is the closest thing to it for many young kids.

e.g., We kids had a big get-together and imagined we were getting drunk on Costa Rican rum.

submitted by Steve McDonald

costanza wallet - A wallet filled with so much stuff (usually not cash) that you can't put it in your back pocket without causing irreparable damage to your spinal column. From the Seinfeld episode where George pulls out his massive wallet.

e.g., Chris, being as lame as he is, blamed his loss in Baseball Stars on his bad back, which he claimed was caused by years of sitting on his Costanza wallet.

submitted by Lothar23

costco effect - The experience you have when you get home and try to find places to store all the stuff you bought. Could also be "Sam's Effect" when you've shopped at the Wal-Mart variant.

e.g., The Costco Effect resulted in my storing food in the bedroom closet and under the bathroom sink.

submitted by Jim Cosgrove

costcoize - To purchase in bulk or at a reduced price with high quality.

e.g., "Why is your freezer so packed?" "It's been costco-ized." "How did you make this delicious dip?" "I costcoized it." I costcoized gas for my SUV.

submitted by Kristi

costings - An estimation of potential expenses.

e.g., I've made up costings so that you will know how much money to save for vacation.

submitted by Karen

costripper - Person who wears a costume and walks around in a costume during a cosplay event but does not exactly join in the contest or program.

e.g., Aside from the cosplayer contestants, there were a lot of costrippers walking around during the anime convention.

submitted by James Anthony Anderson

cot - Mix of cool and hot. It was actually said when someone was trying to say the words at the same time.

e.g., Ohhh, that is cot.

submitted by Emily Laincz

cotch - Old person. Cf. codger.

e.g., Andy Rooney is a cotch.

submitted by Ali P

cotched - To sleep|crash.

e.g., I cotched on my floor the other night.

submitted by Siobhan Doyle

cotelling - Combining camping with staying in a motel; it involves bringing a cooler into your room, cooking on a campstove in the parking lot, and using your sleeping bag for extra warmth or bed space. {ED. The only kind of camping my wife and I ever cared for.}

e.g., We saved a bundle when we went to Lake George by cotelling for a few nights. Campstove coffee beats cappuccino any day.

submitted by jeanine wisniewski - (www)

cotines - Persons who stand on stairs (which lots of people use) and talk to someon else on the stairs, staying there, so that people have to go around them, and they take up all of the space and you have to touch them to get through them.

e.g., The next cotines I see, I'm going to shove them down the stairs they think is theirs.

submitted by Squackle! - (www)

cottage cheese ceiling - One of those ceilings that looks like -- well, cottage cheese.

e.g., She is so weird, got cottage cheese ceiling 'n everything.

submitted by Krille

cotterstock - Any odd piece of wood used for stirring paint.

e.g., Has anybody seen my cotterstock? This paint needs stirring.

submitted by Peter Chambers

cotton - Southernism. To bond, to become fast friends with, or to adhere to someone. Mostly heard in the negative.

e.g., They just don't cotton to strangers in those parts.

submitted by Joel Parker

cotton head - An elderly person.

e.g., Traffic is very heavy this morning and the cotton heads are really slowing things down.

submitted by Jamie

cotton-candy christianity - A term for Christians who don't want to offend anyone by being openly Christian.

e.g., Erik is just a cotton-candy Christian. He won't even mention Jesus in a conversation.

submitted by Erik

couch - To hang out, sit around, do nothing. To wait "on the couch."

e.g., It was too cold outside so we decided to couch all day.

submitted by Jeremy - (www)

couch monkey - Someone who just sits around and doesn't do much, yet manages to make your life miserable.

e.g., The couch monkeys in HR won't let me take any more vacation days.

submitted by Pinky

couch monkey - A person of low utility, particularly one who overstays his or her welcome while couch surfing.

e.g., That couch monkey Chris had better clean up after his cat, before he finds himself living in a refrigerator box.

submitted by Grant

couch-coins - The coins that get lost under the couch cushions.

e.g., It's hard to tell, but I'm pretty sure I have a lot of couch-coins. One of these days I'm going to tip the couch to recover them.

submitted by Waddpal

couche - 1. Couch. 2. "... couche couche is the Cajun version of fried cornmeal mush."

e.g., 1. Don't lay that paring knife on the plastic-covered couche. You'll end up ruining it with a cut. 2. How about some couche couche for brunch?

submitted by «Ed» - (www)

couched - 1. To be sitting on a couch. 2. To be at one with the couch.

e.g., 1. I was couched for three hours. 2. I am feeling so couched today!

submitted by Jeremy Pullicino - (www)

couching - To laze about and do nothing. Especially good on a Saturday.

e.g., What did I do today? I watched movies and couched.

submitted by Jeana S.

couchy - Very uncomfortable, hard as a rock. Originated when a friend sat down HARD on an old couch I had that seemed to have cushions of concrete. From then on, we referred to any uncomfortable seat as couchy.

e.g., This chair is so couchy!

submitted by Jaycee

cougar - A middle-aged woman who hits on twenty-something men at university pubs.

e.g., That cougar just bought me a drink and asked if I wanted to dance.

submitted by Huxley

cougee - The young male object of a cougar's (a middle-aged woman's) affections.

e.g., Barbara's cougee didn't quite pass the half-your-age-plus-seven test, but he sure was cute.

submitted by Agnes "bob" Jedrzejewski

cough ball - A small, yellowish, and very smelly ball that can be found in the back of the mouth or throat usually after coughing -- not the same thing as phlegm, it's considerably worse and if you've ever experienced this, you'll know the difference.

e.g., Did you just smush that cough ball between your fingers? The smell is unbearable. I'm gonna hurl.

submitted by anon

coughter - Laughing and coughing at the same time.

e.g., The sounds of coughter filled the respiratory ward every time Dr. Zak told the lung transplant joke.

submitted by James Mayne

coughyou - Similar to atishoo, but when somebody coughs instead.

e.g., Oh, coughyou, are you feeling ok? You should see a doctor.

submitted by guillermo

could of - Could have. "Could have" is sometimes pronounced "could've" -- with the result that "could of" makes it into print quite a bit. The example comes from an e-mail written for, but never sent to, June Casagrande, author of Mortal Syntax 101.

e.g., I was looking for some samples from your book and saw that "Darrin Gowan" had updated his review of Mortal Syntax 101 at just yesterday. He managed to be a bit nicer with his edit. He's wrong about "could of," of course. Google gives many, many hits for it, few of which point out that it's a mistake. I think I'll add "could of" to the pseudodictionary and maybe use it as the basis for a forum thread. . . .   PS. Here's something my granddaughter drew a few years ago, titled "I Could Have Danced All Night." "Could have," not "could of."   Sure, I could of come up with something original for an example, but I wanted an excuse to show off another of Anna's drawings.

submitted by HD Fowler

coulrophobia - The Macmillan Dictionary: "the fear of clowns."

e.g., " . . . one scene disturbed him: that of giant clown dolls chasing people through the New York subway system "Today he's highly phobic, suffering from coulrophobia, or fear of Bozo."(Oakland Tribune, August 2002)

submitted by HD Fowler

coulterucopia - Ann Coulter's all encompassing charm, wit, beauty, brains, one-liners, and spot-on laser type logic that tend to leave liberals in a flaming pile of impotent vulgar rage.

e.g., The vintage Coulterucopia speech reduced the audience's liberals to a shrieking mass of impotent but vulgar rage. Even their pie-throwing skills were vastly diminished.

submitted by Albert D. Pereira

count bakula - Someone who posts useless information to an internet message board or forum, either in hope of angering other visitors, or simply to make herself look important or intelligent.

e.g., Some Count Bakula was claiming that the warp nacelles of the U.S.S. Enterprise from the Star Trek films only glowed 2.6% of the time.

submitted by 021310061976

counter monkey - An employee at any chain resturant or fast food service that for the most part hates the job, hates the people, and hates how customers all think everyone behind the counter have no brains.

e.g., Customer (speaking slowly, as if to an imbecile, with no respect): Hey, you. Yeah, you. I asked for a regular coffee and this has cream and sugar in it. Counter monkey: A regular coffee HAS cream and sugar in it. If you want something else, make it yourself, you selfish, preppy, rich, snobby, corporate pig. (Dumps the coffee on the customer's Armani suit and hides in the walk-in fridge.)

submitted by Sarah

counter-vigilante - A vigilante who specializes in hunting down other vigilantes. Being that a counter-vigilante is also a vigilante, she is eventually forced to kill herself as well.

e.g., The counter-vigilante slit her throat, having bested all the other vigilantes.

submitted by John Driscoll

counterline - A horizontal watermark along the front of pants or a dress, produced by leaning against a wet bathroom sink or counter.

e.g., "This counterline is so embarrassing, I don't want to leave the bathroom."

submitted by Dennis A. Mahoney - (www)

countersurf - Dogs cruising along kitchen counters on hind legs, hoping for crumbs.

e.g., Uh oh, Spot's countersurfing again. Hide the steaks.

submitted by anne

countical - (adj.) Concretely countable; of or pertaining to a set of discretely enumerable things.

e.g., Factories usually turn out (literal) tons of countical goods. | Dogs and trucks are countical; jello and milk are not, unless packed in separate, countical containers.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

county blues - Jail uniforms. Usually blue.

e.g., Now that she's in prison she has to wear county blues.

submitted by Jerome Greco - (www)

coup de ta - Alternatively, "coo de ta." From the misspelling of "coup d'etat" in the first example, the sort of unorthodox spelling Mark Twain might heartily approve, as indicated at the link provided. Coup d'etat: "a sudden overthrow of a government." Often seen simply as "coup." {Duplicate. 2017-04-18}

e.g., "Or to put it another way -- there is a very silent coup de ta going on." | HD: "The plural of 'coup de ta'? I'm sure that'd be 'coups de tatas,' Lillith." Lillith: "That can't be right. Not with es's added to the two key words -- not to mention the doubling of the final word." HD: "Lillith, it's _my_ word. I'll spell the plural any way I damn well please. Capische?" Lillith: "Yes, HD, I understand. ... But that would be 'capisce.'" HD: "LILLITH. That's enough out of you. Never forget: I'm the ventriloquist; you're the dummy."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

coupe de known - When a person invents, thinks of, or creates something that is believed to be original but actually has already been established.

e.g., I thought I had created a new word but came to realize it was a coupe de known because my friend Erle had seen it in a dictionary.

submitted by emil

couple of three, a - Two or three. British/Cumbrian slang.

e.g., I got a couple of three apples.

submitted by Nath ashley - (www)

couple two three, a - I guess this means two or three. (We don't say this in Chicago. It's a weird thing they say out west or something.)

e.g., He had a couple two three dogs in his yard.

submitted by Carole Eddington

courting room - What would now be called a living room but was usually called a parlor in my grandmother's day. Used to receive and entertain visitors, a piano was indispensable.

e.g., There was crack in a panel in the door that my brother and I sometimes used to watch my aunt's nurse entertain her boyfriend Maurice in the courting room. If it looked as if it would get steamy, we ceased watching. Not that bad, really, for a couple of Nosey Parker little boys.

submitted by HD Fowler

courtney - Any female middle-school student from a rather upper-crust background, especially so one who prefers to flaunt herself and her supposed connexions with those in positions of wealth, power or notoriety. Reference the Courtney Gripling character in the Nickelodeon series As Told by Ginge. Courtney happens to be an old-money student at Lucky Junior High as is a close friend of the more plebian, working-class Ginger Foutley.

e.g., Doesn't it seems as if she's got a bit too much Courtney in her?

submitted by Larry Ellis Reed - (www)

cousine - A cousin, but referring to a female cousin.

e.g., I bought some lipstick for my cousine.

submitted by Ryan - (www)

couster - An individual who is both your sister and your cousin. An example of this phenomena would be your father divorcing your mother, and then marrying your mother's sister. They then have a baby girl. Said baby is now your couster.

e.g., I'd like you to meet my mother, my father, my aunt, and my couster.

submitted by Tammy Hulbert - (www)

couth - Cool, hip opposite of uncouth.

e.g., That party last night was pretty couth.

submitted by moose

couth - The opposite of "uncouth": proper, appropriate. Sarcastically, "couthing" is a (bad or unwise) attempt to fit in with the prestige group in a community.

e.g., "She's sure got style." "Yeah, she's really couth." "Nah, I think she's just couthin'."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

coverage - Violent anger toward coastal inlets, concavities, convex curvatures, and depressed areas or cavities in general.

e.g., Steve's anger became coverage when he improperly ground the lens for his homemade telescope.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

coverlicious - Cozy, warm, sleepily tucked into bed.

e.g., I missed my alarm and overslept because I was coverlicious.

submitted by Michelle Patterson

coverture - In law, "the condition or status of a married woman considered as being under the protection and influence of her husband." Other definitions refer to the woman as being "under the protection and authority of her husband." Lillith reluctantly acquiesced to the notion of influence, but absolutely refused to bend on authority and protection. As usual, whatever Lillith wants, Lillith gets.

e.g., HD: "[T]he Citizenship Board of 1906 'recommended that an American woman who married a foreigner be regarded as losing her American citizenship during coverture.' That became law in the Citizenship Act of 1907, and was subsequently upheld by the Supreme Court in Mackenzie v. Hare, in--- ."    Lillith, interrupting: "What's your point, HD? We all know that law was antiquated before it was passed, and it's long since been consigned to the dustbin of history as being inconsistent with 'the evolving standards of decency that mark the progress of a maturing society.' If coverture didn't go out with high-button shoes and spats, it went out with Rosie the Riveter."    HD: "Yeh, yeh, Lillith, I'm well aware of your stance on equal -- nay, superior -- rights for those of the female persuasion. It's just that I find the word 'coverture' to be amusing. Haven't you ever heard of a bull covering a cow? That's what comes to mind any time I see the word 'coverture': I see a husband covering his wife during the conjugal act."    Lillith: "Conjugal, schmonjugal, HD. Get with the times, you old buzzard. Today's woman isn't restricted to the so-called conjugal bed for sex. Even those who restrict themselves in that way seldom restrict themselves to the missionary position -- the position where the woman is 'covered.' Most of us with-it women prefer the woman-astride position. I like it myself, not just because it gives me more physical control but because of the emotional high I get from being the one who's calling the shots, from being the one in charge. I think of it not as 'the woman-astride position' but as 'the woman-superior position.' Calling it 'woman on top' suits me just fine, too. But what I like best of all is reverse cowgirl. Not only am I in control, I don't have to look at my … sexual partner of the moment."    HD: "Enough, Lillith. You win. As usual. Not because you're right, but because you have more stamina for this than I do."    Lillith: "Well, HD, isn't that pretty much what I've been saying? Incidentally, I think your word 'conjugal' should be spelled 'coinjugal.' One way or another, I think a man should always have to pay for sex."    HD: "No doubt, Lillith, no doubt."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

coveted door position - The parking spot right near the front door of the shop or place of business you are going to.

e.g., There are so many cars here I can't believe I got the coveted door position

submitted by Butterfly

coveyism - 1. Any word or idiomatic expression created or coopted by organizational effectiveness firm FranklinCovey. 2. Any word or idiomatic expression that sounds like it might have been bastardized by FranklinCovey. 3. Words managers and project team members throw about when they don't understand what they should really be doing, or understand but don't believe it's possible.

e.g., By effectively developing a strategic plan using plenty of coveyisms, we can synergize a win-win paradigm with our extranet stakeholders. This will introduce opportunities to sharpen the organizational saw, turning problems into opportunities and allowing us to achieve first what matters most. After all, people don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.

submitted by Patrick McLendon

covfefe - Coverage.

e.g., President Trump tweeted, "Despite the constant negative press covfefe...."

submitted by [President Donald Trump] - (www)

cow orkers - An affectionate nickname for co-workers, a benign jest. A nickname for bovine behavior from your workplace peers. Mooing (mewing|mewling?) often ensues from said peers when the phrase is uttered -- or is that "uddered"? | A work colleague who is supremely annoying and incompetent. The Jargon File (version 4.4.7) (meaning this definitely is not original) cow orker: n. [Usenet] n. fortuitous ytpo for co-worker, widely used in Usenet, with perhaps a hint that orking cows is illegal. This term was popularized by Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert) but already appears in the January 1996 version of the scary devil monastery FAQ, and has been traced back to a 1989 sig block. Compare hing, grilf, filk, newsfroup.

e.g., My beloved cow orkers brought enough milk and donuts for everyone. To the trough. Moooooooooo. | My horrible day at work began with a meeting with my officious cow-orker Chris. The Dangers Of Dating A Cow-orker (nor is this) While dating a cow-orker might seem like a wild, adventurous thrill ride that could make an otherwise drab workweek that much more exciting, there are a few key factors to keep in mind before taking the plunge into an office romance. These points are critical, especially for those of you who are trying to advance your career in a small office environment.

submitted by MsFledermaus | tom - (www)

cow tipping - Sneaking up on an upright, sleeping cow, and pushing it over for fun.

e.g., Billy Bob and his buddies are going to load up the truck, then head off to the farm, and hopefully do some cow tipping. (ED: And then, with any luck, Billy Bob and his buddies will be arrested, charged with, and convicted of trespassing and animal abuse. Or, maybe, Farmer Jones will fill their sorry asses with a load of birdshot or rock salt. Not that tipping a sleeping cow over is possible, Dan, but some things are just not at all funny.)

submitted by Dan Evans

cow-tipping - That which a cow receives for providing excellent service. (Which explains why you seldom get very good service from a cow!)

e.g., Because Bessie the Bovine had given an exceptionally good batch of milk that morning, Dan the Dairy Farmer felt it was only right to sneak into the pasture that evening, and, while Bessie stood sleeping, give her a good "Cow-Tipping."

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

cowabunga - Used in greetings by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and a TV show from the 50s I wish I remembered. (Was it Howdy Doody or The Lone Ranger? Let me know if you remember.) (ED. It was also used in the "beach blanket" movies of the 1960s ... or was it?) Spelled with a "k" on Sesame Street.

e.g., "Cowabunga! Cutting cattle flatulence to save the planet." "Cowabunga: Manure becomes electricity."

submitted by Joseph R. Lavariere - (www)

coward - The part of a veterinary facility set aside for sick bovines.

e.g., Elsie the Cow's not feeling well. Admit her to the Coward.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

coward finger - When someone gives you the middle finger, to say "eff you," but she hides part of her hand or finger while doing it, so that she can later deny that she gave you the finger.

e.g., Tom: Hey, that guy is hiding his hand behind a beer can, but showing me one of his fingers. Is that an insult? What's he doing? Danny: He's just giving you a coward finger. He's doing that because he's a wimp and a loser. Just ignore him.

submitted by TRthedude - (www)

cowesque - Feeling like or pertaining to the size of a cow.

e.g., No way will I wear this tube top and leggings ensemble in public due to my cowesque appearance. OR My stomach is quite cowesque due to comsuming a large pizza and sucking down 3 frozen cokes.

submitted by Elizabeth Pickering

cowherd - A person who has a morbid fear of being trampled in a cattle stampede.

e.g., Nancy, why are you so afraid of being caught in a stampede? We're in New York City, for God's Sake! Not a single cow for miles! You won't come outside with me? What are you? Some kind of cowherd?

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

cowhorets - Cohorts, where the group is restricted to whores. Co-whorettes.

e.g., Is it fair to refer to Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears as cowhorets?

submitted by HD Fowler

cowtail - To trick someone.

e.g., Cindy cowtailed John into leaving his friend's house.

submitted by Dan Evans

cowtow - Kowtow.

e.g., "The media is cowtowing to Islamic attempts to restrict our freedom of speech, which ultimately results in aiding the Islamic efforts to use our freedom of religion against itself."

submitted by [Jim Bell]

cowtow - Cow-tow. Same as kowtow: "to act in an obsequious manner; show servile deference." The forehead-to-the-ground kowtow of olden days has largely been replaced by a standing bow. kowtow: Related words. verb grovel, court, flatter, cringe, fawn, pander to, suck up to (slang), toady, kiss someone's ass (U.S. & Canad. taboo slang), brown-nose (taboo slang), truckle, lick someone's boots, lick someone's arse (taboo slang)

e.g., No, you don't have to kowtow to an editor to get your submittal accepted. However, it does help if you follow the guidelines. | Cowtowing is less popular with most Americans than cow tipping.

submitted by Miss Speller

cowward - In the care of a cow. A person who avoids conflict by hiding in the herd.

e.g., Randy is a 6'4" 220 lb. former football hero and tough ex-Marine. His friends call him a cowward because he hangs his head down sheepishly whenever his 5'2" 118 lb. wife, Maria, yells at him.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

coxic shock - The male counterpart to the female condition of toxic shock.

e.g., Unbeknownst to his wife, Charlie, Charles was suffering from coxic shock. His symptoms were at first undetected -- moodiness, angst -- but with a closer look he was showing signs of his monthly male visitor whose symptons are greatly spoken about in small circles yet still considered too taboo to label a patient with the ailment.

submitted by Joan - (www)

coyote ugly - Someone so ugly you'd rather bite off an arm than wake up next to her after a night of drinking -- the only circumstance under which you'd bed her.

e.g., I woke up this morning with the confirmed coyote ugly Chris.

submitted by Spirit and Drea

cozumelanoma - (ka-zoo-mel-uh-NO-muh; n.) Skin cancer from sunbathing too much. [From Cozumel, the sun-soaked and superpopular island off the coast of Quintana Roo on the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico + "melanoma"]

e.g., She spent three years tanning herself in a tanning bed three hours a day and wound up with Cozumelanoma.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

crab air - Royal Air Force.

e.g., Come back Crab Air -- All is forgiven! So, you unfortunate lads and lasses who have "copped a Blighty" and are bleeding all over Sleazyjet's or PaddyAir's floor and the pilot dumps you at some inhospitable place like Beirut or Damascus and walks away saying airily "Sorry chaps and chappies, duty time is up," think fondly of the Crab Air you have so often derided. And hope like hell that they have not got around to repainting the aircraft in military livery! :(

submitted by crab - (www)

crabbage - A measure for the quantity of crabs (STD) which must be treated.

e.g., The doctor prescribed a stronger cream due to his unusually high crabbage.

submitted by Garry Evans - (www)

crabbit - 1. A curse, usually replaces the word crap. 2. Referring to one's mannerisms; not what is normally expected, odd.

e.g., 1. Holy crabbit. I forgot my English paper. 2. Carly hasn't slept in a few days, so she's gonna be acting like crabbit.

submitted by Mandi - (www)

crabgas - Tons and tons of crab parts and related water creatures are pulverized and processed into another viable sort of vehicle fuel, quite good actually.

e.g., Fill your tank with the new crabgas, more kilometres to the litre, smooth clean functioning, somewhat easier on the pocketbook.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

crabin fever - What you get when you've been cooped up for days, weeks or months on end, mostly to due to cold weather conditions, with no end in sight.

e.g., After three snow days in a row, with blizzard conditions,the kids were developing a serious case of crabin fever.

submitted by Tracy Piasecki

crable - A chain of like minded crabs.

e.g., Traffic was stopped in both directions due to a crable that stretched over 300 yards.

submitted by Gino Whitkaer

crack of ass - Having to get up obscenely early, usually before sunrise.

e.g., To get a drive out to Montreal, I'm gonna have to get up at the crack of ass.

submitted by Ren

crack of doom - The beginning of a day that you can tell will never stop sucking.

e.g., Larry: I got up at 5 this morning and I zonked in Fountain's class. What time did you get up? Bill: Crack of doom.

submitted by Stacy (idea from Kate)

crack of noon - Sleeping in late, but hoping to make it to sound like you got up early.

e.g., I was up at the crack of noon.

submitted by Chef

crack-a-toe-a snow - Snow that is crunchy and hard to walk on; snow that hurts to walk on; icy snow.

e.g., You guys left without me and I had to walk a mile through crack-a-toe-a snow. And now my feet ache.

submitted by Ian Faynik

crack-back - To get back to what you were doing.

e.g., It's time that we crack-back to work.

submitted by Rob

crack-nut - Smb who is crazy, nuts, etc.

e.g., Chris is a crack-nut to think that I am actually going to do this.

submitted by calvin

crack-onto - Australia nversion of "hitting-on."

e.g., Remember Dave at the bar that night? He was cracking-onto that girl with the boob tube on so bad.

submitted by Cat

crackberry - Wise Geek: 1) "Persons who are so enamored of using their Blackberry® handheld devices that they seem to always have them in hand have been nicknamed crackberries." 2) "The second definition has to do with the Blackberry hand held device itself. Noting the manner in which many people have become unduly obsessed with using the device, there are those that have begun to refer to the Blackberry as a Crackberry."

e.g., "Should I get a Blackberry." "Dad, don't." "Why not?" "First of all, you don't need one. Second, they can be addictive -- that's why they're know as Crackberries. Knowing you, you'd go overboard -- and your thumbs would end up falling off."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cracker - Someone who is weird, crazy, or just out there. | "A poor, white person in some parts of the southern United States who, perhaps, could only afford to eat crackers." | One whose butt crack hangs in plain view.

e.g., He was a typical cracker, but even more so. He forgot how to spell his name. | Screw talk about getting the votes of us NASCAR fans. That's the sort of talk that gets you rode out of town on a rail. I've never met anyone who liked being thought of or looked down on as a cracker. | We took a picture of the female cracker at the professional bull riding show.

submitted by Sarah | HD Fowler | Allison Finch - (www)

crackerbarrel - An obese person or someone with a very large appetite; can be used as a noun, verb, or adjective.

e.g., Bob's a real crackerbarrel; he's gotta be 375 lbs. | Hope there's more shrimp because I'm crackerbarrelin' the stuff like mad. | Cindy's gone crackerbarrel since she broke up with Zeppo. She's put on at least 40 pounds.

submitted by BigJ7489

crackla-pluckra - A large machine used by industrial grade duck chefs for the comlex task of de-feathering, basting, and crackling all winged beasts, especially ducks.

e.g., The Crackla-pluckra is by far the most useful piece of equipment used in the duck preparation industry.

submitted by Bren

crackle - adjective used to describe a girl who is very beautiful

e.g., Erin wasn't just pretty-- she was crackle.

submitted by ashley

crackling birch - A causally unknown skin rash contracted via same-day dermatologic exposure to a wide variety of plants and trees.

e.g., Sweet gherkins. This crackling birch itches like hellfire.

submitted by Betsy Andrews

crackodon - No, it's not a dinosaur on crack. It's the world's first bird, the early bird, the one that gets the worm. The worms are available at the crack of dawn.

e.g., Paleontologists have discovered the earliest feathered bird that has a tooth and a beak. The teeth eventually got in the way for side-to-side motion in the grinding of food. This bird resembles Confuciusornis sanctus except for the tooth. The bird, of course, is commonly referred to as the crackodon.

submitted by Norm De'Pleum

crackpod - An iPod -- a reference to the addictive nature of the iPod. Once you have an iPod, you will wear it around your arm, hold it in your hand, or keep in in your pocket -- never letting go of your music again. If you misplace the Crackpod, you will probably be freaking out until you find it again.

e.g., Have you seen my Crackpod? This can't be happening. | I just got this cool orange armband that really secures my Crackpod when running down hills.

submitted by Scott Blumin - (www)

crackspackle - The result of low riding jeans when one's butt cheeks escape.

e.g., Tom, the plumber: "I've come to check the sink." (Bends over to check the sink.) Charlene: "Becky, look at the crackspackle on the plumber."

submitted by Regina Saab

cracktastic - Something that is both exceedingly strange (i.e., on crack) but so much so that it is fantastic.

e.g., Malcolm in the Middle is a ridiculous show, but it's still funny. It's pretty cracktastic.

submitted by Amber Carpenter

crackteria - When referring to bacteria in that specific region -- the crack of a person's butt.

e.g., We had some problems with our sink yesterday, and let me tell you . . . our plumber has some nasty crackteria. And you know what? When he rang the doorbell and I called out, "Who is it?" he responded, "It's the plumba. I've come to fix the sink."

submitted by Richard Maggio - (www)

cracky - Both crazy and wacky.

e.g., Isn't that a cracky idea?

submitted by funblond

cracky - A small, yippy, saucy dog; by extension, a yippy, saucy, insignificant person. Often used in the phrase, "saucy as a cracky," or in Newfoundland, "like the cracky."

e.g., Saucy? She's like the cracky, she is.

submitted by J. Field

crad - An amalagamation of "crap" and "crud." A word for dried, crusty remnants of any substance stuck to a container of any kind. They will fall out when you open the container. Crad may obstruct the opening of said container. Crad is not necessarily associated with food containers, as in the case of lamp fixture dust and bugs, but is usually so.

e.g., I couldn't open the glaze. All the crad stuck the lid shut. I can't eat off this plate. It's got crad on it.

submitted by Meredith

crad - A combination of "cool" and "rad," meaning exceedingly cool.

e.g., Ed: Today I found forty bucks in my pocket. Tom: Wow. How crad.

submitted by Emrobin - (www)

craddox - Neutral exclamation of annoyance, used in particular when missing a shot in any ball game. Often preceded by "Oh."

e.g., "Oh, craddox," McEnroe said, as he hit the ball into the net to double fault for the 9th time in the match.

submitted by Ralph

cradge - Something that is not good, something unpleasant.

e.g., That restaurant is cradge if you ask me.

submitted by jonathan - (www)

cradlebooty - The younger member in a romantic relationship with a large age difference. {ED. For future reference, please note that not all relationships are romantic -- many stop at sexual relationships and develop no further. Frankly, I like the good ol' days when sex followed romance rather than vice versa. Has a serious study ever been conducted to test whether or not sex early in a relationship tends to decrease or increase the chances of a romance (or "true love") developing? My guess is that it lessens the chances.}

e.g., Jim took his CradleBooty to her high school prom, even though he went to his own fifteen years ago.

submitted by Natalie Pike

craft syndrome - Can't Remember A Fucking Thing, Can't Remember A Fine Thing or Can't Remember A Flaming Thing for the lily-livered. A temporary affliction of amnesia. Same as CRS.

e.g., I can never remember where I put the remote, must be CRAFT Syndrome.

submitted by Danthrax - (www)

craic - Irish slang. Unfortunately, also "crack" and pronounced as such. Hard to translate, roughly meaning fun.

e.g., We had great craic that night.

submitted by Manchine

crakne - A topical outbreak of acne confined to the buttocks.

e.g., I shan't be wearing a thong to the beach this evening as I have an unsightly case of crackne.

submitted by p

cram-write - To have a writing marathon at the last minute possible before your deadline is up for the story, essay, or other writing piece that you're working on.

e.g., I found out about that deadline on the final day for submission, so I cram-wrote for four hours and sent in my piece.

submitted by Aurora

crambled - A combination of "crumbled," "crammed," and "scrambled."

e.g., I don't like my food crambled together on the plate.

submitted by Jo Ginsberg

cramel - Stuffing your face with caramels or cream-filled caramels.

e.g., My grandma always has a big bowl of Goetze's candy snacks at her house. Whenever I see it, I can't fight the urge to cramel.

submitted by PPM - (www)

crample - A woman who is crippled by painful menstrual cramps.

e.g., That poor woman was a crample on Sunday and had to stay in bed.

submitted by patricia

cranasty - The adjective to use when the words crap or nasty just aren't enough.

e.g., That infected boil on Chris's arm is cranasty.

submitted by Colleen Wolfe

cranburger - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, The, Nov 29, 1995: "[A] low-cholesterol version of the traditional hamburger created by Howard Weissenborn of Hank and Charlie's Quality Meats, 7828 W. Burleigh St, Milwaukee, Wisconsin."

e.g., How am I supposed to diet by eating cranburgers? I don't even like cranberry juice, much less mixing cranberries with hamburger meat.

submitted by HD Fowler

crangle - Cumbrian dialect word meaning an attack by a cat. When a cat attacks a mouse, bird, furniture, etc., it tends to lie on its back and rip with its back feet. This action is the crangle. Usually associated with the wordsavage. (Cumbrian = Beatrix Potter Country, Lake District. See The Updated GonMad Cumbrian Dictionary for other dialect.)

e.g., When Toby caught the mouse he gave it a savage crangle. Lesley should have bought Toby a scratching post, as Toby ruined the furniture during a savage crangle. Despite being given a savage crangle by Toby, the little bird managed to escape and fight another day.

submitted by David

craniac - Crazy + maniac.

e.g., In case you haven't figured it out, Chris is a freakin' craniac. That's why he's used for so many negative entries.

submitted by Angela Berry

cranial rectitis - The condition of being so clueless you have your head inserted completely in your rectum.

e.g., Chris usually has a case of cranial rectitis.

submitted by pappy

cranial rectotomy - Surgical removal or assistance with removal of your head from your rectum

e.g., She's such a ditz they ought to take up a collection for her cranial rectotomy.

submitted by Wild Jill - (www)

cranial rectumitis - Condition of someone who is clueless. Impacted cranial rectumitis . . . a severe case. Also known as CR or ICR.

e.g., Did you see Chris run that red light? He has a severe case of cranial rectumitis.

submitted by bubsimile

cranial-rectal - I used this when my teenagers acted as if they had their heads up their asses.

e.g., Son: Dad, the car just ran out of gas -- by itself. Dad. Sounds like a cranial-rectal problem to me.

submitted by wayne horstmann

craniolysis - Decomposition of the cartilige between the plates of the skull, resulting in the total collapse of the cranium.

e.g., Many Mensans suffer from craniolysis. That probably accounts for their joining in the first place.

submitted by Mensa

craniopomorphic - To attribute to an object a cranial capacity or a characteristically cranial likeness; used to illuminate an intimate meshing between the object being mentioned and the brain.

e.g., The psychoanalytical fruits of the ponderer's labor are contained in his craniopomorphic fruit basket.

submitted by Wesley Morton - (www)

cranium crusher - A swift kick in the head

e.g., "If Chris keeps this up, I'm gonna give him a cranium crusher he will never forget." "You're aware, of course, that he's a 6th degree black belt?" "Oh."

submitted by luke simons

crank - To ride on a form of transport purely for the pleasure of so doing. A crank is a person who rides upon trains, buses etc. for pleasure.

e.g., David's a crank. He had cranked every tram route in Poland and was now doing the same in Bulgaria.

submitted by David Flett

crankerpop - To tell someone wearing one color that she looks good in another color.

e.g., Don’t crankerpop me, I spent a lot of money on this shirt.

submitted by jillian

cranking crone - A widowed or divorced female who spends a lot of time, and her ex’s money, cranking the slot machines at the casinos.

e.g., Go to any casino and you will see busload after busload of cranking crones entering the casino.

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler

crankle - To rankle and cause a persistent, grouchy demeanor.

e.g., The clutter left behind by his girlfriend crankled the fastidious accountant until his apartment was restored to tidiness.

submitted by Diane

crankybird - For a person in a fowl mood.

e.g., Jeeze, why are you being such a crankybird?

submitted by PuttyWad - (www)

cransatulated - A depressing situation, especially one that catches you by surprise, or that you had no way of preventing.

e.g., I failed my final, just because my professor hates me. It's quite cransatulated.

submitted by patrick g

crantific - Scientific innovation used for mass killing

e.g., A nuclear bomb is a crantific thing.

submitted by SP Dash

crap and flap - What we get out of bureaucrats and politicians, especially those inside The Beltway: flapping their gums and crapping on Average Jo American and Average Joe American. They flap and they crap. {Description.}

e.g., Ted: "Ed, tell me, since you're well-informed about the 'istory of politics in these United States of America, what's the most significant change you're aware of in the nature of the crap and flap flowing out of Washington?" Ed. "Ted, since you're a recent immigrant from Zimbabwe, I'll start with a little bit of information for you -- about what the US has become in the 240 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed. Referring to the country as "'these' United States of America" was pretty much on its way out following the Civil War. Afterwards, States became states. As we became more and more united as a nation of one people, we started to identify with the United States as a country rather than with the States we live in. You might move from Kansas to Colorado and go from identifying as a Kansan to identifying as a Coloradan, but you'd still be an American. So, the US is now referred to as "_the_ United States of America." Not unlike your using a plural verb for a board of directors where native American speakers would use a singular verb. || As far as the crap and flap coming out of Washington, politics remains politics. There's been no particular increase in the amount of mudslinging that goes on, even though you might think that. Not on average -- just more people slinging it as our population increases. Not a heckuva lot has changed from the good ole days. Any changes mostly boil down to two things: 1) The pile of crap just keeps getting bigger and bigger; and 2) The flapping gets communicated faster and faster. Anyone except a hermit living under a rock will hear the flapping in a matter of minutes. At most. Even residents of distant countries know.... || Oh, and a third change -- the major change, in fact -- is that we now have a POTUS who uses social media to get his crap out faster than ever, bypassing the media nearly effortlessly and almost entirely. Whether you approve of or like what he does or not, ya gotta admit that he tweets to great effect.

submitted by Lillith

crap art - Paintings drawn with feces, sculptures made from feces, etc. Found the quoted example doing a sherlock and thought "crap art" needed to be added to this "pitiful site." "Decentcat" is far too serious to ever submit a word here, so I did it for her. What I find pitiful myself is that "decentcat" takes herself so seriously.

e.g., Curiously enough, you're more likely to find crap art in the more prestigious galleries than in your neighborhood venues. decentcat comments about the pd: In an effort to be more understanding I reread this work and it only brought out a recollection of an article I once ran across on an odd fellow who painted with his own feces. Wouldn't you know it, people called that crap art. And so, this is a poem. By the way, just because a word holds space on such a pitiful site as does not mean you should be proud about it [sic] being in a so called [sic] dictionary. It is quite the opposite. . . . It's like winning a silver in the Special Olympics. There is a little bit of clout because it is, after all, something, but people still laugh at you. decentcat There's a slight and perhaps subtle irony about quoting an unfavorable comment regarding your web site: That may be the only place on the web the snide remark survives.

submitted by HD Fowler

crap circle - A circle of dung left on the ground. Occurs mostly on farms.

e.g., Crap circles were a mystery until farmer Bill discovered his prized cow wandering around in a circle, almost in a daze, and leaving that distinktive trail behind her.

submitted by Wells Martin - (www)

crap handle - The handle above the passenger-seat window that wary riders may often grab during the course of the ride, especially during particularly rough sections. A colorful word or two may often accompany a reach for the crap handle, if the driver is exceptionally terrible.

e.g., I like learning to drive with Clay so much better. Whenever I go out with Mom she grabs the old crap handle and tells me to slow down.

submitted by mama getch wench

crap head - One who forgets, a jerk, an idiot.

e.g., You were late picking me up, you crap head.

submitted by jean

crap writing - Truly bad writing from a mechanics standpoint.

e.g., "These statistics are just too much of a burden on the tax paying American worker. Perhaps if you want to include all those welfare recipients in the tax paying population, that would help, but no, you won't do that either. Rubio, and ALL the GOP .....let us remind you.....your FIRST obligation is to WE THE AMERICAN tax payers, paying for all this BS. NOT illegals.....NOT anchor babies.....NOT Visa I will NEVER vote for anyone whose interest is in ANYONE but us."

submitted by [dj] - (www)

crap-thirty - A relative point in time: whatever is considered obscenely early to the speaker.

e.g., For that job interview, I had to get up at crap-thirty.

submitted by froggegyrl

crapacity - An index for measuring the capacity of a composting toilet.

e.g., What is the crapacity of the non-electric, non-water toilet? Will weekend use at the cottage by a family of four exceed the crapacity of the unit?

submitted by Jorma Larton - (www)

crapalanche - The stuff on your cluttered desk falling on you.

e.g., I hadn't cleaned my table in weeks and I experienced a gigantic crapalnche.

submitted by Lev

crapanna - One of those yucky bananas that looks as if it's been sitting there for a thousand years because the peel is so brown.

e.g., I got stuck with some "whole grain" cereal that claims to lower your cholesterol. Other than that, all we had was a bunch of crapannas.

submitted by Misch

crapanory - Crap.

e.g., Jackanory is crapanory, so sez Karl.

submitted by Karl

crapapple - A rotten, foul-tasting apple.

e.g., The taste of the crapapple was so bad that I had to spit it out of my mouth.

submitted by Frederick Carraher

crapateria - College dormitory cafeteria where the food is unedible, still moving, and smells awful.

e.g., If I wanted to hurl, I'd just eat in the crapateria.

submitted by Kate

crapdangit - Exclamation. An expression of deep frustration.

e.g., Crapdangit! I just spilled grape juice all over my brand-new white shirt.

submitted by Kristen

crapeteria - A cafeteria with foods whose edibility one questions. (Inspired by ex-students of St. Aloysius College Nth, Melbourne, Australia, Class of '98.)

e.g., Wish me luck. I'm goin' to the crapeteria.

submitted by M. White

crapfest - A place or time in which everything is cheap and crappy.

e.g., The broken down roadside diner was a crapfest.

submitted by Sally Forth

crapiolian - The presentation of an item with disastrous results . Prounounced crap-ee-OH-le-an.

e.g., The crapiolian outcome of Kim's ravioli was much to her chagrin. Those present would later comment "It was incredibly crapiolain."

submitted by alisonk

crapitalist - One who aspires to personal wealth, but is unable to create a business plan worth a crap, hence a crap capitalist.

e.g., Not surprising that went bust. It was run by a bunch of crapitalists.

submitted by DoctorDee - (www)

crapmonkeys - To be used when you want to use an expletive longer than crap, but you are surrounded by family or children.

e.g., Aaah, crapmonkeys. I just stubbed my toe.

submitted by T-Bar

crapnivor - Individual who eats primarily junk food. Crapniverous.

e.g., Our kids are crapnivors.

submitted by dick petry

crapola - What you say when something doesn't go your way. | The new shade from Crayola chosen to represent the angst of Generation X.

e.g., Oh, crapola. I forgot about that! | (To be sung to "Gray skies are gonna clear up. Put on a happy face.") Crapola skies aren't gonna clear up. Put on your angst-filled face. Brush off the bagel crumbs and peer up. It's crapola coming your way. Get used to that gloomy mask of tragedy Cause it's here to stay. Now that mommy and daddy Aren't paying the way.   «Addition by someone named Beth» Crapola skies aren't gonna clear up. Put on your angst-filled face. Brush off the bagel crumbs and peer up. It's crapola coming your way! It's crapola coming your way!

submitted by Sarah | nitag - (www)

crapoliscious - Tastes bad, but in a good way..

e.g., Yummy. Mom, your soup is crapoliscious. No, I'm stuffed. I couldn't eat another bite.

submitted by Stephen Free - (www)

craponym - An acronym that has no meaning, or has a substandard meaning primarily so it spells a particular word. May also include an acronym whose original meaning no longer applies.

e.g., ZEN was definitely a craponym as no one in the company could figure out what the Z stood for.

submitted by WorldMaker - (www)

crapophone - A reproduction Gramophone, particularly one made in India with a shiny brass horn and a crank coming out at an angle.

e.g., He bought a gramophone thinking it was a genuine His Master's Voice, but it turned out to be a crapophone.

submitted by Brent Fisher

crapperiffic - The opposite of terrific.

e.g., My final project was crapperific since the glue wouldn't hold, causing it to fall apart.

submitted by lizzy ha

crappinaferous - Beyond crappy, shot through and through with crap, made entirely of crap, with no redeeming value.

e.g., This combination fax/scanner/copier/coffee machine sounded like a great idea in the ad, but it makes bad faxes, the scanner doesn't work, the copier broke, and the coffe tastes like toner. On reflection, this device is entirely crappinaferous.

submitted by Seam

crappity - Crappy. Used to describe a noun as being inferior or below standards. Used when extra syllable is needed for extra humorous emphasis.

e.g., That is one crappity looking piece of junk. I would have called you but my crappity little phone kept going dead. The way he acted was crappity.

submitted by nate - (www)

crapple - A cheap knock-off of the very popular Snapple line of beverages.

e.g., Millie decided to give Crapple a try but discovered that it tasted like crap (Doh!) and went back to her favorite, Snapple.

submitted by Wells Martin - (www)

crapple cider - Apple cider that tastes so bad that it is hard to believe it came from apples.

e.g., This is some serious crapple cider. You couldn't pay me to drink this stuff.

submitted by EvMan

crapplique - Take a perfectly good T-shirt, attack it with puffy paint and your trusty "Bedazzler" and--voila! Crapplique. By the same token, anything possessing the finer qualities of true tackiness can be crapplique.

e.g., I had to move to another state because I'd been spotted in public with my mom when she was wearing her finest crapplique.

submitted by heather rottenberg

crappola - Anything unneeded or unwanted but found in everyday life--work, school, conversations with jerks, losing things, etc.

e.g., Joe was sick of all the crappola lately.

submitted by ~andrea~

crappopotamus - Exclamation of severe unhappiness or distress.

e.g., Holy crappopotamus!

submitted by Andrew Sirotnik - (www)

crappuccino - Bad-tasting expensive (allegedly "gourmet") coffee.

e.g., I went to Starbucks last night. Paid $4 for their crappuccino.

submitted by Liz Gillaspie

crappydoodle - Shoot or darn -- especially when you've forgotten something.

e.g., Crappydoodle. I forgot to pay my rent.

submitted by Michele

crapsmack - Many, a lot, plethora.

e.g., Making up new words is a crapsmack of fun.

submitted by lauryn

crapsmanship - Crapsmanship refers to the production of sub-standard products by one who misguidedly feels they are worthy of high praise.

e.g., The cabinet Bobby built was yet another fine example of crapsmanship.

submitted by David R. Fey

craptables - Generally used by die hard meat eaters to describe vegetables. Can also be used to describe vegetarian sausages and the like.

e.g., "I'll have steak, chips, and egg. But no craptables." or "Sorry, we've no sausages but we do have some craptables in the freezer."

submitted by Thonoir

craptacular - Something that is remarkable for its inferiority. Event, excursion, or undertaking that is extraordinarily disasterous or dull.

e.g., A. How was Donna's party? B. Craptacular. Nothing but a bunch of lawyers playing Michael Bolton records.

submitted by Marc Ehrlich - (www)

craptacular - It is an adjective denoting something impressively disappointing -- something spectacularly crappy. {Duplicate.}

e.g., That concert last night was nothing short of craptacular. With this craptacular hand, I think I'll fold.

submitted by Deborah Cech - (www)

craptain crunch - Captain Crunch (tm) cereal, without the hyperactivity-inducing sugar coating.

e.g., Omom, I'm hungry. Can I have some Craptain Crunch.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

craptastic - Something so exceedingly crappy, it actually becomes good. | A word to use when something so unfortunate happens that you simply can't believe it's happening. (ED. "Intended to be perceived as fantastic, but actually of extremely poor quality.")

e.g., Kung Pao: Enter the Fist? Now that movie was craptastic. | Did I just lock my keys in the car with the engine running and my two-year-old in the backseat? That is craptastic.

submitted by judy | Ben C - (www)

crapton - An excessive amount of something.

e.g., I have a crapton of homework to do for this weekend.

submitted by Rebecca

crapture - A state of awe and joy acheived when watching crap films

e.g., Dave was encraptured whilst watching _Red Sonja_.

submitted by Alice Malice

crapulence - Sarcastic remark about the value and merit of a cultural item--movie, theatre, music, etc. | Related to "crapulent." Lack of redeeming moral qualities or self worth. Personal hygiene problems or a messy home.

e.g., This movie reeks of crapulence. That painting is crapulent. (Yes, "crapulence" is also a real word for overindulgence, especially drinking too many alcoholic drinks. "Crapulent" is how you feel when you have a hangover after a bout of hard drinking.) | Just let him stew in his own crapulence.

submitted by mike | zeeterman - (www)

craputer - A computer that is a piece of crap.

e.g., My Windows 98 that I got roughly 3 years ago is turning into a craputer.

submitted by Jesse

crash - To stay, usually overnight

e.g., Can I crash at your place?

submitted by Michelle

crash - Used in the movie Colors, and in the book Monster, in reference to police.

e.g., . . . that two officers from CRASH had come to the hospital. . . .

submitted by forrestakers

crash blossom - From Michael Quinion's 29 August 2009 World Wide Words newsletter: a newspaper headline whose brevity obfuscates.

e.g., It appears to me to be a crash blossom typical of that particular newspaper.

submitted by HD Fowler

crash can - What my kids call the trash can -- because it is made of metal and it crashes like a cymbal when you let the lid down.

e.g., Please put the wrapper in the crash can.

submitted by Tim Barnes - (www)

crashed - To be unfairly deprived of something, mistreated.

e.g., The company had promised raises for employees who met performance standards. Jack met the standards, but when he received his check, he discovered he'd been crashed. Instead of a raise, he found a note explaining that the incentive program had been suspended. The bystanders had done nothing wrong, but the criminals all ran when the police rushed the crowd. Finding the bystanders easier targets, the police crashed them and placed them under arrest instead of purusing the criminals.

submitted by Annie

crashing on - Used after you've just said completely the wrong thing and want to change the subject. Like moving on but with incredible awkwardness.

e.g., Alex (looking at trousers): Who would be seen dead in these? Louise: Actually I bought a pair last week. Alex: Okay, well, crashing on, what are you doing tonight?

submitted by Monkey Pants

crass knuckles - The behavior of a professional cage fighter, who disrespects and insults his opponent, and uses any illegal tactic to ensure winning.

e.g., In the world of cage fighting, there are many "Louie the Louts" who will swear, and spit, at opponents, and will put thumbs in the other combatants' eyes, bite, punch below the belt, and do many other dirty tricks to win. This crass knuckle attitude is ungentlemanly, totally demeans the profession, and makes the sport r-e-a-l-l-y interesting to watch.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

crassputin - An insensitive, boorish, unkempt and slovenly person. From Gregory Rasputin, an early 20th century monk who held a hypnotic influence over the Russian Tsarina and whose actions contributed to the downfall of the Romanoff dynasty.

e.g., I know you've been invited to Dave and Alicia's wedding, Jake, but please don't be a Crassputin this time. Remember these rules: large trays of hors d'ouvres are meant to be shared with others; lobster ala king is not to be eaten with the fingers; snorting wedding cake through your nostrils is heavily discouraged; burping with the bass line of the macarena is not considered "musical accompaniment"; and the same colored dresses worn by young women identify them as members of the wedding party and not as ripe targets, eligible for groping. Okay?

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

crassulent - Very fat; overweight; grossly or obscenely obese. | "Full of grossness, very fat."   

e.g., "She may be the bride, but her crassulent state doesn't permit her to go through the church door." "Neither does the groom's crapulent state." | While some point to Brando's crassulent state, others focus on his acting. | I was surprised to find only a few crassulent women I recognized when I googled «fat celebrity (woman or women)». I expected Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne Barr to show up right away, but they didn't. Should I have added ugly or unpleasant as qualifiers?    Adding «ugly OR unpleasant» turned up this interesting tidbit: "The grizzled and gargoyle-like Parisian chanteur, and legendary lover, Serge Gainsbourg always used to pick up the ugliest girls at parties. This was not simply because predatory male folklore insists that ill-favoured women will be more "grateful," but because Gainsbourg, a stylish contrarian, knew that the conversation would be better, the uglier the girl." It also turned up some men and some very good-looking women.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

crastination - Acting promptly.

e.g., Crastination is an admirable trait.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

crastinator - An amateur or novice procrastinator, one who doesn't wait quite long enough to be a pro.

submitted by DerekMan

crasty - Variation of "nasty." Origin Unknown To Submitter, OUTS.

e.g., No thanks, JB. Don't tell your mom, but her stew is crasty. | ©1995, The Brown Daily Herald, Inc., we find: "Our tummiwuts were still gesting the lunchables we noonly crasted from schoolbratties, so there was no real need from the point of view of crasting more vittles to packwood some WIC-tease in an alley and sloosh her screech red murder while we counted the booty and divvied by four, nor to do the balanced budgie on some olde tyme blue-haired welfarian and go smecking off with her vittle stamps." A bit further on: "So we scatted out into the streets and down Penn Avenue, and round by the Waspy House we found what we pretty well wanted, a dweezil ultra-violence with Billyboy, a crasty type like could change a six dollar note with two threes. He viddied us as we viddied him, and he stopped what he was doing, which was fixing to gatsby a New (and Improved) Deal Dance Party; the anywho wide world on the guest list and open bar, of course." | "and i love the bookish ladies with the chip on their shoulder:: gotta make my moves 'fore i get much older:: cuz i want a bookish girl who likes to get nasty,:: slaps me cross my face when I start to get crasty" at | Here's a story, © 2002 Erik Ray, with a character named Crasty at

submitted by Justin Bellefontaine - (www)

crath - When you're doing crap in maths.

e.g., What's 989+657? Oh, to hell with it; I'm doing crath anyway.

submitted by leeleebigc

cratz - People, usually politicians or politically-appointed incompetents, who act like rats in dealing with others and are always scurrying around like cats trying to cover up their messes.

e.g., Our local cratz held another closed meeting to discuss how to hide their theft of taxpayer money to support their weekly casino “feasibility study.”

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler

craugh - Laugh and cry at the same time.

e.g., The baby was upset, but a quick game of peek-a-boo and he was soon craughing. | I was laughing so hard that I cried . . . I was craughing. | I started off crying but then my friend cheered me up and made me smile and laugh through my tears. In a word, I craughed. (ED. Isn't that two words?) | Sometimes, bittersweet things in life lead to craughter.

submitted by Paul Edels | Susan Wolfe

craveable - Being able to be craved.

e.g., The sandwich was very craveable.

submitted by Keith

cravoid - The object or behaviour associated with a craving such as chocolate, salty carbohydrates, sex, etc. that is used to soothe or calm the craving or underlying discomfort. Although primarily a descriptor related to cravings, it may also be applied to addictive substances and addictions.

e.g., The food craving research group learned the psychological technique and applied it when the desire for their cravoid arose.

submitted by Brett Porter - (www)

craw - A slack-jawed yokel who prefers skinnin' coons to more intellectual endeavors.

e.g., The craw said, "Look ma! Uh dead possum on that there street! We gonna eat high tonight!"

submitted by Imp - (www)

crawfish - To sidestep, as in an agreement. | In the context in which I heard this -- a line delivered by Walter Brennan as "Judge" Roy Bean in The Westerner (1940): to weasel out of something you've said you'd do, to welch. Tom Dalzekk and Terry Victor in their update to Eric Partridge's masterwork, The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English, give us this: crawfish verb   to evade someone or something US, 1842  In nature, the only defence available to the crawfish is to bury itself in mud or silt, moving backwards.  "Aw, shut up," Green said impatiently. "You're crawfishing and you know it." — Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye, p. 33, 1953 pjeffrey had made an earlier entry, which I must have missed, at crawfishing: "Sidestepping, as in an agreement. Ex: Saddam Hussein has crawfished and is stiffing the world." That's a perfect fit for Brennan's line as delivered.

e.g., Saddam Hussein has crawfished and is stiffing the world. | ~"You ain't gonna crawfish?" Then, later. ~"You ain't gonna crawfish on me? You're gonna give it to me?" [As agreed.] {ED. What "Judge" Roy craved was a locket of Lily Langtree's hair that Cole Harden (Gary Cooper) claimed to possess. Celebrity adulation is not something new under the sun, despite what we geezers may claim. {Gary Cooper crawfish? Never. Not even as the closest he may have ever come to playing a scalawag. "You're not the prettiest girl I ever saw." "Who asked you?" "But you've got the prettiest hair I've ever seen." It was pretty well hushed up when Gary Cooper was still living, but there can be little doubt that he … knocked boots with the best of them in his heyday.}

submitted by pjeffrey | HD Fowler

crayola storm - Someone who wears as many of the brightest colors as is humanly possible, all at the same time. Can also use monsoon, tornado, hurricane, etc., for varying degrees of eyesore.

e.g., Wow, did you see what just walked by? I'm gonna need an umbrella for that crayola storm.

submitted by Nick Palmarozzo

crayon-wielder - A person who makes his money not through the noble art of coding, but through the black magic of graphic designing.

e.g., Ask the crayon-wielders to jazz these new site designs up photoshopically (viz.).

submitted by DoctorDee - (www)

crazening - Like maddening, only more so.

e.g., I can't seem to get anything to go right today. It's downright crazening.

submitted by Crazy Larry

crazor, king of the monkey people - Someone insane, and unpleasant to be around.

e.g., Stay away from Chris. He's Crazor, king of the monkey people.

submitted by qnarf

crazy eye - The affliction that too-young kids get when they visit pornography sites. Those who get a minor case may end up looking like Steve Buscemi playing a bug-eyed psycho. Severe cases may result in eye-poppers — those people who can use voluntary muscle control to make their eyes bulge out. Certainly not original.

e.g., Are you sure he won't end up with a case of crazy eye if you give him that Red Ryder BB-gun for Christmas? | "It's crazy-eye season, that time of year when nobody makes any news except the nuts." Nota bene: Anecdotal evidence suggests there may be a correlation between cases of crazy eye and growing hair in the palms of one's hands.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

crazy fresh - Cool.

e.g., Wasn't that Brubek concert crazy fresh?

submitted by Joe EMT - (www)

crazy malaka - Can be used in various way, as a greeting, or for someone doing something foolish, a bit different, or something just very exciting.

e.g., 1. Look at her, what a crazy malaka. 2. Don't do that you crazy malaka. 3. Hey, ya crazy malaka, what's goin on?

submitted by natasha - (www)

crazygonuts - Loss of one's mind over the most painful experience in her pre-life crisis. (23 to 27 years of age.)

e.g., The Jennavator says, "There is a time to love and a time to crazygonuts. In a perfect world it would be a 50-50 proposition. You just hope that one or the other happens at all moments in your life -- just so you can feel alive and dead simultaneously. You don't want to miss a thing once the blinders come off and reality kicks into high gear."

submitted by paige_archer - (www)

crazyhole - London tube or Docklands Light Rail very late at night.

e.g., Having left my car at home, I had to ride the dreaded crazyhole from Bank all the way to Greenwich.

submitted by Godfrey Jones - (www)

crd - Caucausian Rhythmic Disease, for white persons with no rhythm.

e.g., Paul can't keep a beat, he must have CRD.

submitted by Paul S.

creak - Anything old, outdated, in poor working condition, or assembled improperly. Can also be referred to as "creaker."

e.g., This 14.4 baud modem is total creak. OR What a creaker!

submitted by Phil Ayres - (www)

cream - Cash Rules Everything Around Me--basically, suggests a desire for large sums of cash. Extra funny when said randomly during games of Monopoly.

e.g., You landed on my hotel at Park Place. Cream!

submitted by qnarf

creaminess - Used to express wonder, amazement, or great pleasure.

e.g., Bryon: "Have you seen Alec's new car?" Lauryn: "Naw, what'd it look like?" Bryon: "Ahh, creaminess."

submitted by lauryn

creasing - laughing

e.g., I was just creasing!

submitted by Siobhan Doyle

creathers - A tough to reach area; synonymous with nooks, crannies.

e.g., I dusted the house from top to bottom, even getting into the creathers.

submitted by FPM2K - (www)

creative regularity - (n.) (among people who design new versions, ports or levels of existing games) Conventions or practices followed so that the new addition will be as similar to the original as possible.

e.g., When Ken wanted to design an award-winning Quake level, he had to play through the real game several times to learn the conventions of creative regularity and make sure his level was just hard enough.

submitted by Duncan

creatureindecitus - A condition where a person (although knowing monsters aren't real) is so mortified by the fact that there might be a monster in the room with her, that she's indecisive over whether she should turn off the light, or leave it on for some sort of invisible protection.

e.g., Brennon has such a bad case of creatureindecitus. It makes him jumpy at night, so don't sneak up on him.

submitted by Felix Morvin

credibilophobia - Anxiety characterized by an abnormal fear that individuals or organizations have to lose their credibility in the views of their stakeholders or business partners. Credibilophobic -- adjectival form.

e.g., Credibility management is an important issue to most organizations; however, credibilophobia does not in any way positively assist organizations as it undermines resources and contributes to the unnecessary anxiety of an organization’s members. | This credibilophobic manager likes to take up trivial challenges to polish his image and reputation by wasting time, energy, and resources.

submitted by Abderrahman Hassi

crediholic - Addicted to maxing out, applying for, or transfering balances from one credit card to another.

e.g., After years of denial, I finally admitted that I am a crediholic.

submitted by Scott Paul - (www)

credits - (pl.n.) Modern synonym for "curtains," as in gangster-speak "It's curtains for you," meaning "We're going to kill you." The gangsters of the 20s and 30s borrowed the term from stage drama, where the falling of the "curtain" signaled the end of the play. Motion pictures---the 21st century's preferred dramatic form---signal their end by the rolling of credits. Hence, "It's credits for you."

e.g., Roscoe the rum-runner rubbed out Rico the Rat for robbing his rum-running receipts. Roared Roscoe: "It's credits for you, Rico!" "Crap! I got a D on my history test! My mom's gonna kill me!" "Yep. It's credits for you."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

creech - To slyly move your hand in order to grab something you shouldn't grab.

e.g., "Any luck last night?" "Nah, I tried a creech but the security guy saw it coming."

submitted by Wayne

creeled - To twist or sprain.

e.g., My brother fell and creeled his ankle.

submitted by gayle

creep - To do something without letting other people know (slowly or quietly) or behind someone's back

e.g., Have you heard? One of our co-workers is creeping with the boss's wife.

submitted by msmallsman

creep factor nine - Scary or ominous beyond belief. Pick your favorite horror flic. That creepy. Invented by yours truly.

e.g., "Have you ever played Resident Evil?" "Yeah, creep factor nine."

submitted by Zippy Von Zippy

creeping nukism - The spread of increasing written requirements as a response to problems occurring, or recurring, in a social system -- or, as an attempt to introduce quality assurance into previously unassurred, non-nuclear fields.

e.g., All this paperwork just to be a teacher is just creeping nukism.

submitted by Varrick Nunez - (www)

creepycode - When someone uses code that makes her look like a psycho.

e.g., Bobbie used creepycode last night. She said, "Let's take the midnight train to Squaresville."

submitted by Jesse

creird - Blend of "crazy" and "weird."

e.g., Any skydiving grandma is creird.

submitted by Dan

cremamoratorium - When in the state of eating too much ice cream, Thus, making the choice to stop pending a hemmorage. Occurs when the individual has eaten a good amount of ice cream, and starts to feel ill because of the quantity.

e.g., ie: "Dave sat still on the couch, he had to concede a cremamoratorium or he would surely get sick."

submitted by Charlie Buttermann

crematoes - Genetically altered potatoes and tomatoes, grown in the ashes [cremains] of vegans and vegetarians.

e.g., Slice 'em, dice 'em, turn them into sauce, crematoes in the oven, and in your salad toss.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

creole sote - A thick, bitter, and black oily liquid substance, infused with chicory, and a drink people in New Orleans name, and substitute for, coffee. In other areas, it is used to coat and preserve wood from insect infestation.

e.g., The etymology of word slurring and softening of vowels (see c.f., "vowel movement"), by New Orleans' natives, lies in the throat thickening event caused by the prevalent use of creole sote "coffee" as a popular drink.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

crescent fresh - From "Sifl & Olly" (sock puppet show) indicating niceness, coolness, flyness.

e.g., John: You wanna come over for some beers? Steve: Crescent fresh, J-man. Hippies playing hackeysack are crescent fresh; crackheads are not crescent fresh.

submitted by - (www)

cret's - A very cool item, situation, etc.

e.g., See my Lexus? It's cret's.

submitted by amanda - (www)

cretizen - A citizen with unsavory, useless characteristics: brainless, vulgar, stupid, child-like, insensitive, and full of useless information that makes no sense. A cretinous citizen.

e.g., An un-named cretizen of no-man's-land was recently chased through the main street by an angry mob for spreading rumors about naked aliens landing in the potato fields immediately after the annual rave.

submitted by Roni Askey-Doran - (www)

crev - A place, usually a small area or small room, in which the environment is relaxing and laid back.

e.g., After a long day of running around the mall, my friend and I decided to go down to the crev and chill.

submitted by Blair Hicks

crevasse - To become hidden or lost.

e.g., I was running around last night and my car keys crevassed somewhere along the way.

submitted by ditnis

crew - 1. Gang 2. Group of graffiti artists 3. Breakdancing group.

e.g., He was shot on by the enemy crew.

submitted by Jerome Greco - (www)

crew - The word for cool in the book Feed

e.g., Titus, your new car is crew.

submitted by Nina

crew crux clanbellies - A gentile, new, group spreading peace and joy throughout the land.

e.g., When you become a new Crew Crux Clanbelly, you get a lifetime supply of happiness to spread among the ignorant and worthless, alas.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

crew shell - Items that are absolutely necessary to play in competitive sports. From the water sport called "sculling."

e.g., A bat, a ball, three bases, a home plate, a pitcher's mound, an umpire, and two teams of nine players each are "crew shell" to the sport of baseball.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

crewdawg - Nickname for a fighter crewchief in the USAF. From the technical school mascot, a bull "dawg." Term appears on clothing and items associated with the squadron, including the squadron coin.

e.g., Sam's the crewdawg for the wing king's jet.

submitted by crewchief

crib - One's dwelling place

e.g., I was in my crib chillin' by the fireplace.

submitted by Zak

cribbenized - To be in the very worst of states.

e.g., I can't go to work today, I was up partying all night and I'm cribbenized.

submitted by Ryan Darragh

cribby - An edge between a sidewalk and a roadway consisting of a line of curbstone.

e.g., 1. Don't walk so close to the cribby. 2. I scraped my tyre on the cribby when I parked.

submitted by Kevin

crick - A variation of the word creek, used in rural Oregon and other rural areas.

e.g., Glen crick is sure high.

submitted by Kevin

cricket cruncher - Military jargon: basic infantryman. Crucifier of rocks.

e.g., TimR: "I met [General Petraeus] several years ago when he was just a one-star general and thought him very shallow, one of the generals who had forgotten what it was like to be just a platoon leader and who never understood what it was like to be one of the cricket crunchers."

submitted by HD Fowler

cricketry - Victory, the way the robot translated the word in NBC's Sunday May 9, 2009, Meet the Press broadcast for Andrea Mitchell's words as interpreted for the scroll at the bottom of the screen.

e.g., "Cricketry [in Iraq] would have to be defined as a strong central government with democratic principles." Ms. Mitchell, is, of course, wrong. A "strong central government with democratic principles" that is not friendly towards the United States could hardly be considered a victory.

submitted by Miss Speller

crickets - the silence you hear after saying something you thought was funny but apparently others did all you can hear are the crickets.

e.g., can also be used as a can cricket someone. meaning you did not laugh at his joke.

submitted by The Funky Buddha

crid - A tiny, inoffensive bit of waste material.

e.g., "Don't give me the last cup of coffee from the pot! I hate getting all the crids!" "Did you just wake up? You still have crids in your eyes."

submitted by Dr. J

cridax - The sort of falling over when you fall forward and wildly try to keep upright but end up ploughing into the ground, much to the amusement of everyone around.

e.g., Lorraine was looking quite classy bustling off to the shops, but then, alas, she cridaxed painfully and we couldn't help but have a small hysterical laugh at her expense.

submitted by Kelly

crile - What babies do when they are happy and upset at the same time. They usually do it if they are already crying, and you make them smile at the same time. Cry + smile = crile.

e.g., There's nothing as bittersweet as a baby's crile.

submitted by Drew Clemens

crilk - Half-and-half, a blend of cream and milk.

e.g., I would rather have crilk in my coffee than non-dairy creamer.

submitted by Sue B.

crimbasic - Religion-based word.

e.g., Gallup International Millennium Survey interviewed 57,000 adults in 60 different countries of the world between August and October, 1999, representing 1.25 billion of the planet's inhabitants. The survey covered a wide range of topics of an ethical, political, and religious nature, focusing specifically on issues close to people's emocracy, the United Nations, human rights, women's rights, the environment, religion crimbasic values --particularly those which will have an impact on the new millennium. Issues such as De and "What Matters Most in Life" were included.

submitted by John

crimea river - The state of aurally disassociating written song lyrics by substituting words and phrases that are similar.

e.g., Jill: "No, you're wrong. 'Sadly the cross-eyed bear' is not a children's nursery tune. It's really a religious song, "Galdly the cross I'd bear.'" Bill: "Okay, big deal! So Crimea river!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

crimialien - Illegal aliens. "I never stopped calling them illegal aliens -- because that's exactly what they are -- included those who are documented but overstayed their visas. Sometimes I go even further by calling them criminal aliens, or crimaliens for short. By definition, anyone in the United States illegally is a criminal, even if the crime committed is a misdemeanor."

e.g., We allow entirely too many crimaliens to continue living in the United States to suit me.

submitted by beelzebub

criminate - To accept anyone or anything and everyone and everything.

e.g., Knee-jerk liberals are dedicated criminators.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

criminently - Interjection: an expression of annoyance, exasperation, or surprise. A euphemism for Christ, by way of criminy -- which is itself a euphemism for Christ. One of two words I've taken to using lately, the other being sheesh, a euphemism for Jesus. Mildly blasphemous though the word is, I'd hate to see it fall into disuse and be lost to us. You get to be my age, you need all the words you can get to express your displeasure at how things are going -- especially if you try to break up with AT&T.    Those folks have an army of telemarketers posing as "customer service" reps to keep you from dropping AT&T. When you tell the first guy you get on the line that you want to cancel your account and he passes you off to a second guy in customer service to close it, don't be fooled. All the second guy is there for is to convince you not to switch. Customer service, my ass -- the guy's a telemarketer, pure and simple. Maybe the most persistent telemarketer you'll ever run across. Eventually, provided you have more stamina than he does, he'll pass you off to the cancellation department. That's right. You've been pissing away your precious geezer time with a guy who will not -- nay, cannot -- close your account. You're in purgatory.    Oh, did I mention -- not only are you going to be giving them the same information over and over, you're going to be stewing and waiting after you dial 611, then again when Guy One hands you off to "customer service." You'll be waiting again when Guy Two puts you on hold for the cancellation department. Once you get to the cancellation department and Guy Three, it might be smooth sailing. Might be. I don't know. I got so pissed off at how I was being given the run-around, I hung up instead of waiting for Guy Three. A "manager" called me back a few minutes later and did my bidding, but not before tussling with me. If you can get through the process in less than ten minutes, it'll be a near miracle. It took me more than twenty minutes and entirely too much grief. It's almost a day later and I'm still all het up about my ghastly AT&T experience.    Not so incidentally, don't bother stopping by the AT&T store to close your account. They'll just tell you you have to do it by dialing 611 on your cell phone. When it comes to AT&T, breaking up is hard to do.

e.g., "Criminently, would you quit fighting with me and wasting my time? You have all the information you need to close my account. Just close it, OK?" "I'll put you through to the cancellation department for that." "You'll what? You can't cancel my account?" "No, the cancellation department does that." "!#$!%&. Why have I been on the line with you for almost ten minutes?" "I'm just doing my job -- trying to keep AT& T on your payroll." | "Criminently, Jasper, that's enough. You win. Put the gun down before you shoot yourself in the foot. I'll pay you. But I'm not going to change my mind. 'Global warming is baloney. Balderdash. Flimflam. Stinking bilge. Blue bunkum and utter claptrap. Hogwash, rubbish, and, when you get down to it, trash. … We can go from there.'" "Don't blame me, Jethro. You shunta brought a knife to this gunfight. Dincha see Sean Connery in The Untouchables?"

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

criminogenic - A real word, but not frequently used: "Creating or generating crime, fostering criminal behavior" | "Producing or tending to produce crime or criminality" |

e.g., "Alcohol is the most criminogenic substance in America" (James B. Jacobs). | Is society becoming more criminogenic or less criminogic? | Do crime statistics bear out that an urban setting is more criminogenic than a rural setting? Surely in the number of crimes committed, but how about the rate of crimes? The Shadow knows. I don't. | BBC News: "Worse than that, they insist on using long words like 'criminogenic.'"

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

criminy dutch - A mild expletive, a substitute no doubt for "Christ Jesus!" or "Jesus Christ!," which might be offensive to some people.

e.g., Criminy dutch, we was s'posta be over to the Dew Drop Inn two hours ago to play competitive knuckle cracking.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

crims - Criminals. The example is quoted from an essay on flabbergastation.

e.g., "Well, yes, we must, (mustn't we?), protect crims as much as non-crims -- I think . . . I mean I wouldn't put any security systems round my house, no sir! I mean if one driver has 24 convictions, (and killed someone through his drunken driving), I wouldn't want to stand in the way of his individual rights -- would I?"

submitted by HD Fowler

crinch - To be able to bend a piece of metal partially or fully over itself.

e.g., I asked him to crinch that piece of lead over that wood handrail.

submitted by david whittaker

cringeful - Embarrassing or cringe-inducing.

e.g., Walking around all day without knowing that your skirt is tucked into your undies is a cringeful experience.

submitted by genevieve

cringent - Causing one to cringe.

e.g., That phony way he smiles is cringent.

submitted by Wendy

crinkle fingers - The puckers that develop in your fingers after staying in water too long.

e.g., Tim stayed in the bathtub so long he ended up with crinkle fingers.

submitted by Kathy Sheldrake

crippled - Lame

e.g., That movie was crippled.

submitted by leah

criptology - The process or science of decoding the messages and text of gangs such as the Crips.

e.g., I'm not African-American, but I'm still good at criptology.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

crisco - Abbreviation: Christian Coalition. Also, a member of that organization.

e.g., Most CrisCos may have good intentions, but many are misguided or uneducated.

submitted by Marc Kevin Hall - (www)

criscoid - (n.) A word derived by shortening another word. [An obvious, and fairly awful, pun based on the shortening made by the JM Smucker company.]

e.g., "Prolly" (q.v.), "opportuny," "terrist" (q.v.), and "hunnit" are criscoids. Someone should compile a list of the criscoids in English, and then expand it to other languages as well.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

crisertunity - Out of crisis comes opportunity. Coined by Homer Simpson. Lisa: Dad, do you know that in China they use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity? Homer: Yes! Crisertunity!

e.g., I'm going through a mid-life crisertunity.

submitted by Ben

crisitunity - A crisis lending itself to a personal opportunity.

e.g., I'm moving to Bangladesh to sell surfboards. It seems like the perfect crisitunity.

submitted by Bob Stewart

crisk - The loud noise made when an animal steps on a twig or other object and reveals its presence.

e.g., She heard a crisk from behind her, and turned around to find herself face to face with a grizzly.

submitted by haley

crisp - An object or a situation that is favorable.

e.g., Your new car is crisp.

submitted by Eco

crispette - The little bits of crisp that get left in bottom of the bag.

e.g., Is anyone eating those crispettes? Can I have 'em?

submitted by niblet

crispified - As crisp as it can get without being burned.

e.g., The cat was crispified after chewing on the Christmas lights.

submitted by Jason Strong

crispovers - The packets of crisps that are left over in a multi-pack.

e.g., There are a few crispovers left in this pack.

submitted by Maypoo - (www)

crispulent - To be both crispy and succulent.

e.g., My word, that was a crispulent chicken breast.

submitted by O Turner

crispy critter - Paramedic slang for a body that has been badly burned.

e.g., That house has a crispy critter in the back room.

submitted by Ted

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