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closet - This word has progressed from its meaning in the original phrase "coming out of the closet," referring to acknowledging being homosexual. It now refers to anything not immediately obvious or believable.

e.g., David Beckham is closet good at speaking French.

submitted by David Brennan

closet communist - 1. Any communist claiming to be against communism 2. Any person who supports communist values but doesn’t consider herself to be a communist.

e.g., Jo's most likely a closet communist. Although she claims to be against communism, she has the Communist Manifesto in her room.

submitted by Sammers

closet-time - The length of time one hides part of her character from others.

e.g., They didn’t know she was so loose; her closet-time was almost 25 years.

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler

closeted - "Closeted" and "in the closet" are terms that have been in use since the mid-20th century to refer to a person who is hiding her homosexuality.

e.g.,

Ben Domenech, a former Bush administration aide and Republican Senate staffer: A White House spokesman, Ben LaBolt, said he complained to CBS because the column "made false charges." Domenech later added an update to the post: "I have to correct my text here to say that Kagan is apparently still closeted -- odd, because her female partner is rather well known in Harvard circles."

submitted by HD Fowler

clothes porn - Movies or TV shows masquerading as women's drama, lifestyle, or infotainment. Main demographic: viewers envious of the glossy and trendy wardrobes worn by the participants. Can be readily detected by the presence of a changing-clothes montage to upbeat music (see Pretty Woman). Phrase may have originated with science-fiction author Pat Cadigan. See "shopping porn," "food porn," and "gun porn."

e.g., Supposedly the interviewer spent a day with the starlet talking about her latest movie, but actually it was just clothes porn.

submitted by Paul-Michael Agapow - (www)

clothes wringers - Back in the days before the Second World War, simple washing machines had a couple of rollers at the top for wringing out the wet clothes, after which you would hang them outside on clothes lines to dry.

e.g., There were no clothes dryers back then, so you needed the clothes wringers to squeeze out as much water as possible, then when you hung up the clothes on the lines they would dry faster

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

clothestase-splingy - Dry, fuzzy mouth. kloths-tays-plingee

submitted by Princess Suzy - (www)

clothinglessness - The state of nudity, not wearing clothing.

e.g., "Yeah, so I walk into the room and he's there in a state of clothinglessness." "OMG, I've always wanted to see him without a shirt, but not with nothing on."

submitted by cruz_away

clousy - Hybrid of cloudy and lousy.

e.g., The sky is overcast and it’s raining — what a clousy day.

submitted by Aalix

cloverleafing - To drive around the four ramps of a highway interchange until dizzy.

e.g., James decided that cloverleafing after a six-pack and a carton of cigarettes wasn't such a hot idea.

submitted by Chris Surguine

clow - A completely random but completely great happening or event.

e.g., We had the weirdest clow last night.

submitted by Colleen Thompson

clown - To fool, con, or cheat someone. Short for the more wordy phrase "to have made a clown of" . . . which is also long for "to make a clown of."

e.g., Chris clowned the minister into giving him bus fare by convincing her we were distant relatives.

submitted by ditnis

clown-munch - Someone who is stupid in your eyes, or someone who makes you angry.

e.g., The driver behind me is a clown-munch. Always, always the same. Why am I always leading a parade of clown-munches? Don't answer that, clown-munch.

submitted by Scott - (www)

clown-shoes - Unprofessional, appearing home-made, and unsatisfactory. Often used to describe the results of an attempt at repair. From the way a professional clown's shoes look: held together with painted tape, bits of wire, etc.

e.g., The patch job your boyfriend did on your bumper is especially clown-shoes.

submitted by Billy Fisher - (www)

clowndestine - To be privately humorous.

e.g., He seems very solemn, but he's actually carrying on a clowndestine relationship with his pets.

submitted by Peri Craig

clownin - Used to describe someone acting in less than a professional manner. Someone who doesn't take things very seriously. From the word clown.

e.g., Those homies spend too much time clownin.

submitted by Nicholas Larson

club-fed - The federal law enforcement officer's training center at Glynco, Georgia.

e.g., No one carries a badge for Uncle Sam without going through club-fed first.

submitted by Stephen Mize

clubberin - Referring to a fake or staged fight on television or movies, and can also refer to a wrestling match.

e.g., Look at Stone Cold and The Rock clubberin on each other.

submitted by Crazy Larry

cluck - A person who does stupid things at random.

e.g., "Boy! That idiot sure is a cluck!"

submitted by David

cluck salvo - When all the stupid roosters start crowing between 2:am and 4:am simultaneously when no one (or in these post industrial times, almost no one) needs to awaken.

e.g., So, I shot four roosters this morn. There aren't any chickens, and I saw no need in their cluck salvo since I don't arise before 6:45 a.m. anymore.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

cluddups - The sound that heavy footfalls make, when ascending or descending a staircase.

e.g., I always know when Mark's going to visit my flat. I can hear his cluddups as he's coming up the stairs ... he also calls out "Muggers!"

submitted by Paul

cludgy - Clunky+dodgy. A cumbersome, unstable construct usually referring to computers and video gaming.

e.g., After spending hours tweaking settings and numerous restarts, the cludgy game play prompted Jack to return the game.

submitted by Merritt

cludoliptical - The belief that a god can be walking among us and have the name of one of our friends -- even our name.

e.g., I am overly cludoliptical, so I do not believe in Allah.

submitted by Sean Harringtonelli

clue-by-four - When the cluestick just isn't enough, or repeated cluestick smacks have had no result, one must then use something with a bit more heft. (Yes, I know your definition of "cluestick" mentions a 2x4, but most of the folks I know who use the term "cluestick" imagine it as something like Sister Mary Discipline's ruler.)

e.g., He just doesn't get it, does he? Hand me the clue-by-four.

submitted by Pieter Breitner

cluebrick - A helpful hint or assistance desperately needed by a person who is usually not aware she needs one.

e.g., John is clueless about Marsha's birthday. Can somebody throw him a cluebrick?

submitted by alex hood

clueful - Having a clue. Adeptness. Antonym of clueless.

e.g., That was a very clueful way of handling the problem.

submitted by Daniel Abranko

cluefulessness - Someone who possesses the attribute of being considerably clueless, or demonstrates herself to be particularly clueless when expressing herself.

e.g., There's so much cluefulessness in that sentence that I don't know where to begin.

submitted by Lee Haywood - (www)

cluestick - An instrument used to smite stupidity -- usually in the form of a 2X4, but can also be other pieces of wood such as mallets and baseball bats.

e.g., Chris is an idiot. I just wanna whack him with a cluestick -- or, even better, maybe he'll get whacked by some of his criminal associates.

submitted by Dare - (www)

clumbersome - Something that is awkward to move or handle.

e.g., That credensa was clumbersmome to move.

submitted by chris gifuni

clummy - Feeling tired, clumsy, vulnerable, and demotivated--often followed by falling asleep.

e.g., I'm not coming out tonight. I feel too clummy.

submitted by Alex

clums - Clumsy, but as a noun.

e.g., I just dropped the vase on my foot.I am such a clums!

submitted by Lucinda Inganni

clumsyorchid - Used to denote absolute power or control. The word is especially applied to situations that have a clear victor.

e.g., The ability to destroy random people with a supersonic snap of your fingers, or melt people with a sponge is very clumsyorchid.

submitted by an evil squirrel

clunger - Cluster of hangers. ClungerWhat you come up with when you reach into the closet and grab a hanger.

e.g., I only need one hanger for my coat, not that whole clunger.

submitted by Den

clupknick - Describing any item that does not work anymore.

e.g., It's busted, the computer is clupknick.

submitted by Andrew Higgins - (www)

clusterfest - A polite version of the term used to describe a situation where a number of contributors have turned a relatively simple task into a problem nearly impossible to fix. Best used at a festive occasion such as a birthday party, and not at a solemn occassion such as a memorial service.

e.g., The caterers for that non-drinking Jewish couple supplied roast pork and champagne at the reception lunch? That was a clusterfest.

submitted by John Burke - (www)

clutch - A good thing or when something works out.

e.g., "I checked out that resturant last night, it was clutch"

submitted by Peter Spinale

clutch - Collective noun for a group of handbags.

e.g., A group of women dancing around a clutch of handbags? Yes, I saw them. They were in a Conga line headed for the ladies' loo.

submitted by Alison

clutch - Derived from "clutch" handbags. Activities or habits so ridiculously geeky or neat freakish that friends or relatives can no longer handle them.

e.g., Fran: My roommate insists the CD rack be organized alphabetically by "moods." Jan: That's too clutch for me.

submitted by Nichol C.

clutcheon - A general term for small bits of hardware.

e.g., That's a clutchen and that's a clutcheon. Said by a four-year-old pointing at items on a hardware store shelf.

submitted by Rod McKay

cluzak - Funny in a sorta outrageous way. Can be a noun or adjective. Mixture of three words: "classic" (the root word), "Muzak" (the annoying background music, and a cult football player named Matthew Kluzek.

e.g., The political observations of that irreverent comedian we saw the other night were abolutely cluzak.

submitted by Adam Rapoport

clyde - well dressed man about town

e.g., "with my cream turtleneck sweater and navy blue oxford jacket, i am as clyde!"

submitted by tsa

clydesdale scale - Indicates on a scale of 1 to 10, how many Clydesdales would have to be hitched up, to pull you away from a certain woman. Similar to the standard 1 to 10 scale of desirability, only more earthy and of course, it uses only whole numbers.

e.g., Jack: How many Clydesdales for her? Mac: No Clydesdales for her. I wouldn't go near that one on my worst day.

submitted by Steve McDonald

clyptch - A repository of misspelled words. Word comes from a dream -- it's a jot tollity.

e.g., Whaddaya think, is the PseudoDictionary becoming too much of a clyptch?

submitted by Preston Madison - (www)

cme christain - A person who only goes to church on Christmas, Mother's Day, or Easter.

e.g., There are those who claim that Hattie is a CME Christian.

submitted by Hattie

cmos - Chicago Manual of Style. While CMOS meant Complementary Metal-Oxide Semiconductor to most of the people I worked with, it's always meant something else to me.

e.g., I'm waiting for CMOS to answer my question regarding "My favorite fruit is apples" vs. "Apples are my favorite fruit." (I inferred that a teacher posting on an ESL forum essentially considered the first version to be incorrect, since she said it was idiomatic. Her replacement with "Apples are my favourite fruit" didn't suit me. Shouldn't I be able to use fruit in the subject? If I do that, the predicate noun is definitely not apple.) | Thanks to CMOS, I now have an understandable rule for when to use singular verbs and plural verbs with mass nouns.  


 
From CMOS:

5.9 Mass noun followed by a prepositional phrase

Mass nouns are sometimes followed by a prepositional phrase, such as number of plus a plural noun. The article that precedes the mass noun signals whether the mass noun or the number of the noun in the prepositional phrase controls the number of the verb. If a definite article (the) precedes, the mass noun controls, and typically a singular verb is used {the quantity of pizzas ordered this year has increased}. If an indefinite article (a or an) precedes, then the number of the noun in the prepositional phrase controls {a small percentage of the test takers have failed the exam}.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cmyk - Acronym for Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, and Black (don't ask me why K stands for black). Theoretically, when properly and applied to white paper, these colors can replicate any visible color. Actually, some colors need to be pre-mixed.

e.g., This appears yellow, so we'll reduce its yellow CMYK component.

submitted by James Michalek

cnai - extremely fast version of "can I?"

e.g., "Cnai go now?!"

submitted by Kiaré - (www)

cni dog - Seeing eye dog.

e.g., Earlene's not likely to go very far from her apartment without her CNI dog.

submitted by HD Fowler

co - A gender neutral term that replaces he and she in all its declensions. This word is already in widespread use at a commune in Virginia that practices gender equality.

e.g., When the vegan arrives today for the start of the three-week visitor program, please let co know where co can find some fresh soymilk from our tofu hut. In the spirit of anonymity, let me just say that co dropped co's glasses into the composting toilet chamber and retrieving them was a real bummer.

submitted by Bill Glenn

co ack! ulate - The moment of realization. when one has stepped in some grossly vile substance, that it had compressed and was sticking firmly to your shoe

e.g., Sitting on the sofa in the Harris' living room, and waiting for Pam, the prettiest girl in his college, to come dowm from her room upstairs and accompany him to their Senior Prom, poor Winton was suddenly struck with the sheer horror of the impending ruined evening as, simultaneously, he noticed the clumps of brown staining the beige carpet from the door to the couch, and, as he had crossed his left leg over his right knee, the nauseating smell rose from the dog feces, that co ack! ulated thickly on his left shoe, assaulted his nose, and knotted his stomach, while Pam, a bright smile on her pretty face, descended down the stairs, tragically, and inevitably, towards him.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

co ear ce - An action intended to force an individual to desist from, or comply with, an activity, by the pinching, twisting, or pulling on one of the two fleshy protuberances located on the opposite sides of one's head, and/or grabbing such protuberance, and yelling, loudly, into the hollow space containing one's audio input system.

e.g., Hilda: 'ey, 'arry, 'ow come ya got such 'orrible, ugly ears? Dey stick way out -- da tops are all crinkled, and if ya turned arould real quick, da lobes ud slap yer face!  
Harry: Ya, it's 'cause I was a beasty boy as a kid. Me Pops 'ud try ta co ear ce me ta be better. It dint work.  
Hilda: Aw, too bad! I'm sorry to 'ear dat.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

co-driver - The person sitting in the passenger's seat in a car.

e.g., So I was the driver, Anna was the co-driver, and Bob was in the backseat when all of a sudden. . . .

submitted by moink

co-ollybobbles - Stomach ache.

e.g., If you eat those green apples, you'll get co-ollybobbles.

submitted by Catherine Sears Keane

co-ompetition - Co-operation during competition.

e.g., The two drivers were engaged in some friendly co-ompetition during the better part of today's race.

submitted by Peter J. Beckwith

co-opetition - Competitors co-operating to increase the "pie" overall while competing to divide it up.

e.g., Co-opetition between the Marketing department and the IT department led to the successful launch of the company's intranet.

submitted by paddle9

co-opurration - Feelings of satisfaction and amiability when all parties work well together.

e.g., Everyone in the room sat around relaxed, comfortable, and smiling -- claws retracted, after forging a mutual agreement of co-opurration.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

co-whores - Not the usual cohorts, but two ladies of the night who ply their trade together, each watching the other's six, so to speak.

e.g., "Well, if I'm not your type, baby, you might want to consider going out with my co-whore, Chris. . . . Which one is she? She's the one wearing the red mini-skirt, black blouse, and killer pumps -- what we jokingly refer to as whoreshoes."

submitted by HD Fowler

co2 generator - Similar to oxygen thief; not an altogether worthless person . . . but close to it.

e.g., Chris isn't completely worthless. As a CO2 generator, he helps plants.

submitted by alex hood

coa - Centre of Attention. For one who has managed to draw attention to herself.

e.g., He's been dancing on the table all night and has managed to become the COA again.

submitted by jhulz - (www)

coach - To give, hand over.

e.g., Adam, can you coach me that pillow?

submitted by Nick Reif

coagulate - When two dogs simultaneously wag their tails at each other, in mutual approval.

e.g., After scaring a cat half to death, Fido and Spike always coagulate each other.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

coagulites - A group of people that socialize in a public pedestrian thoroughfare and block the path of people who are just trying to get from point A to point B. In other words, a group of socialites who block pedestrian traffic like coagulated blood blocks blood flow.

e.g., I would have made it class on time, but a group of coagulites were blocking the hall.

submitted by Sam Espiritu

coal de sac - The place in a vein of coal or coal mine where the coal peters out: further drilling or mining in that direction is illogical and fruitless.

e.g., When we eventually hit a coal de sac in this mine, we'll have to veer off in another direction right away.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

coal mine, coal miner - Another artschool term. A drawing class in which you are required to make lots and lots of big drawings using soft charcoal from 8:00 to 6:00 in the evening. When you are done, you look like you have been coal mining.

e.g., When I came home from coal mining, I made the mistake of lying down on the bedsheets I just cleaned.

submitted by Nicholasx

coalburn - A mixture of lemonade and iced tea.

e.g., A tall glass of coalburn goes down smoothly.

submitted by shell

coalution - Most coalitions are just there to complain about something and they don't have any solution. The rare ones with a credible solution can be called coalutions.

e.g., What we need is a coalution formed from within our organisation to break away and find solutions to these year-old problems.

submitted by Gaston St-Pierre - (www)

coaster - What a CD is called when there is an error writing to it.

e.g., My computer crashed while I was burning a CD, so all I got out of it was a coaster.

submitted by T-Dot

coathanger - To jettison or abort something important to your inner being.

e.g., I coathangered my love for Ricky Ricardo as I was more concerned with Lucy's happiness.

submitted by Adam Dachis - (www)

cob - To describe a state of upset or dissatisfaction which results in lack of communication between two people

e.g., "Don't cob on me again." OR "That's it! I'm cobbing on you now!"

submitted by Thonoir

cobalt moon - An exceedingly rare event. Much rarer thaan a blue moon where a full moon occurs twice within a calender month, a cobalt moon is a second full moon in the month of February, which can only happen in a leap year.

e.g., Monsieur Podium couldn't remember the last time he had seen a Routemaster in Tassin La Demi-Lune. Such an event only occured once in a cobalt moon.

submitted by Dave Widdicombe

cobb - To make something out of nothing, to perform a quick-fix with limited supplies. Usually car-related. Cobble.

e.g., I'll see if I can cobb something together with this duct tape and some toothpicks.

submitted by Kyle Kenny

cobber - Colloquial term for a dog or a loyal and honest person. Used in greeting to someone you don't know so well. Australian origin, late 1800s & early 1900s.

e.g., How's it going, cobber?

submitted by dave

cobble - A meal that takes place after dinner and before breakfast. Usually between 11 pm and 4 am. Most common meal among college students.

e.g., Would you like to go get some cobble around midnight?

submitted by Tyler

cobgnaw - How people "cobgnaw" tells the manner in which they eat their corn on the cob. Some "cobgnaw" typewriter style, while others constantly turn the corn in little circles while they eat.

e.g., You should've seen Uncle Jesse eating those dozen ears of corn. He cobgnawed his way row by row, 'til every little kernel was consumed.

submitted by Susanne Strickland

cobitcherate - Variant of "commiserate": to complain with others.

e.g., "Meet me at the H20 cooler and we'll cobitcherate about the deteriorating state of the English language. And make our own contributions." "You mean to its deterioration? I don't think I'm down for that."

submitted by mikef

cobsquaddled - To be completely confused; baffled; intensely bewildered.

e.g., That formula completely cobsquaddles me.

submitted by Katie Merritt - (www)

cobuffled - Confused and baffled.

e.g., Quadratic equations cobuffle me.

submitted by jake lowe

coburbs - The conversion of farms and farmland to suburban housing. Country and suburbs unite to form coburbs.

e.g., I moved to the coburbs as soon as I could afford to. My new house is built on what used to be a dairy farm. Love it.

submitted by Lyle

cobwebsite - a website which hasn't been updated for a long period of time.

e.g., "I did a search for some useful current information, but all I got back was broken links and cobweb sites."

submitted by Greg

cocacolonialism - The spread of Western culture into foreign countries via mass product marketing.

e.g., Africa's assimilation into Western culture came less through political or religious influence than through the allure of cocacolonialism.

submitted by Christopher Kenton

cocacolor - A color reminiscent of light passing through Coca-Cola. Adj. Being this color.

e.g., Sierra loves my cocacolor eyes.

submitted by BigAssFries

cocept - An idea that fits in with another so well that they must be thought of together.

e.g., A few cocepts that come to mind are gravity and string theory, over-population and extinction, and grass and green.

submitted by Jon K. Hart - (www)

cochleomutilance - To purposely listen to an annoying person, really bad music or speech, or for the sake of hearing it, scratching your fingernails across the chalkboard, etc.

e.g., Dave claims he can't listen to Bob Seger. I think he feels it's cochleomutilance, and he's having none of that.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

cock a snook - Also referred to as a five-fingered salute. We've all done it at one time or another.

The Word Detective, December 18, 2000 To "cock a snook" at someone is a bit more elaborate than simply thumbing one's nose. To "cock a snook" is a classic display of derision, properly performed by spreading the fingers of one hand, touching the tip of your nose with your thumb while sighting your opponent along the tips of your other fingers (what the British sometimes call a "Queen Anne's Fan," but what we more commonly call a "five-finger salute"), and waggling your fingers in the most annoying way possible. As a gesture, it doesn't really mean anything, but it does convey utter contempt rather well. Like all fine insulting gestures, cocking a snook always goes well with a Bronx Cheer, or raspberry, as an accompaniment. Crossing your eyes while doing all this is optional but definitely enhances the overall effect. And remember, kids, practice makes perfect.

While the phrase "thumb one's nose" first appeared in English around 1903, "cocking a snook" is much older, first appearing in print back in 1791. The verb "to cock" comes from strutting behavior of male chickens, and means, as the Oxford English Dictionary puts it, "to turn up in an assertive, pretentious, jaunty, saucy, or defiant way." The "snook" is of uncertain origin, but may be related to "snout," which would certainly make sense.

e.g., The name for the gesture may not have come along until 1791, but what'll you bet cocking a snook was popular amongst the Founding Fathers?

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cock of the walk - The big cheese, head honcho, big man on campus, man about campus.

e.g., With my new suit on, I'm the cock of the walk.

submitted by Mike Sedita

cock-a-hoop - The Hindu: "When one is 'cock-a-hoop' about something, one is extremely happy or pleased about it. You are [un]usually delighted about something that you have done. The main stress is on the word 'hoop.' 'Cock-a-hoop' is considered to be rather old fashioned." American Heritage Dictionary : "1. Being in a state of boastful elation or exultation. 2. Being askew."

e.g., Headline: "NBL is all cock-a-hoop about catch."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cockadervy - (KA-ka-der-vee; n.) An unconscious, unintended slip of the tongue, the pen, or the keyboard brought on by a deep-seated mental focus on something other than the topic about which one is speaking or writing, and which generally leads to a happy ending or a fortunate turn of phrase. [From O. Henry's short story "Springtime a la Carte," in which a woman working to type up menus daydreams about her old flame, Walter, with whom she has long since lost touch. She accidentally types one of the dishes on the menu as "dearest Walter, with hard boiled egg." Coincidentally, Walter himself happens to see the menu when he happens to stop for a meal. The word derives from the Latin coctae_durae_ovi_ "hard-boiled eggs."]

e.g., In the 1966 motion picture Assault on a Queen, the U-Boat-salvagers-turned-pirates almost get away with robbing the passengers on the Queen Mary, until one of them, an American with a remarkably poor memory presents himself as a British officer, but calls himself a "LIEUtenant" rather than "LEFtenant": a very obvious cockadervy.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

cockalorum - A real word, meaning "a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow." Be sure to check out some of the 5,000+ examples at the links.

e.g., I'm about ready to go into retirement -- at least semi-retirement -- as an inveterate popoff on Internet fora. I've become fed up with all the cockalora I run into. | Too many Internet fora are populated with cockalora.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cockapult - An erect penis used as a catapult.

e.g., What sort of throw do you get when you use your cockapult to launch M&Ms?

submitted by beelzebub

cockatoo - "The person who looks out for the police in an illegal game [of two-up] is called a cockatoo." (Australian.)

e.g., Charlie, you wanna be cockatoo for a bit? We're gonna' play a little two-up.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cockkulekomalocka - We were not allowed to use explicit cuss words in school, so we created our own.

e.g., That test that Mr. Teacher gave us was cockkulekomalocka.

submitted by LP

cockodiles - This is my name for women who are looking for men for sex and money in Thailand. Night stalkers.

e.g., There's a cockodile hunter over there at the bar. She sees us now. How long will it take her to set her trap and come over and tell us how handsome and sexy we are?

submitted by Robert

cockpiling - Maintaining a supply of male virility in reserve -- for the day when your current lovers turn up lacking in the virility department. Permanently.

e.g., "Since prostate problems eventually catch up with so many men as they get older, I'm going to start cockpiling now. I have one 25 year-old friend in particular in mind." "You're a 39 year-old nurse. I'd think you'd know he's already past his sexual prime." "Not between the ears he isn't."

submitted by beelzebub

cockroaches - Females who have no unique personality and behave in a predictable way. Never independent from their social group, superficial.

e.g., "Look at those cockroaches over there. They're a dime a dozen here at school. I can't stand them." "Then why are you dating one of them?" "Because she's good looking, of course. And besides. . . ."

submitted by KIKO Reyes

cockroachief - The cockroach-in-chief, the leader of the cockroaches.

e.g., The alien arrived carrying a note saying, "Take me to your cockroachief."

submitted by HD Fowler

cocksident - Penises sometimes make us do regrettable things.

e.g., I didn't mean to have sex with your best friend, it was a cocksident.

submitted by Alan - (www)

cocoanuts - Obviously bored or bewlidered extras seen in the background of movies. From the Marx Brothers' debut movie of the same name, in which all but one of the extras are plainly bored and bewlidered.

e.g., The movie sucked, but it was fun watching for cocoanuts.

submitted by Adam Leslie

coctopanthic - Spanning the gamut of works and style of Jean Cocteau.

e.g., I like coctopanthic literature.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

coctor - A doctor who specializes in urology and treats only male patients.

e.g., Honey, did you manage to get hold of my coctor's office to schedule an appointment for me? When is it? I need to mark it on my calendar.

submitted by Anonymous

coddiwomple - To travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination.

e.g., Let's coddiwomple across the food court and find something to eat.

submitted by davidmsc - (www)

code - When you have a cold and your nose and throat are stuffy, this is how the word "cold" sounds. Usually, your friends will understand. If they are horribly mean and insensitive, however, they will point and laugh every time the word is uttered for the next 15 years.

e.g., I'v had this code since Friday.

submitted by lein - (www)

code pie - The need for success.

e.g., Code pie is getting me down.

submitted by Enzo - (www)

code red - For someone who is way hot.

e.g., Guys. Jennifer Lopez in my opinion is code red. She is way pretty. Girls. "Robert Downey, Jr., is a definite code red. He is way hot.

submitted by Melissa

code whore - A contract employee or consulting programmer. Usually refers to the high-rate hourly programmers that will do anything for a price.

e.g., We're way behind schedule, so they're bringing in a team of code whores to pull a week of all-nighters.

submitted by Cujo

codemancer - Variant of codemonkey. A person with a profound obsession for writing computer code.

e.g., You can identify a codemancer by locating her whiteboard. Typically easily identifiable due to the cryptic diagrams and notations on it.

submitted by Justin

codentron - Someone who specialized in cryptology, able to break any code and to create unbreakable informational systems.

e.g., Steven is a codentron in the service of the army.

submitted by Tatomir Ion Marius

codery - the end results of coding (programming)

e.g., that's an amazing feat of codery

submitted by Dave

codicodos - The smell, odor, or olfactory essence of old books, as what one is filled with upon entering a bookstore, library, or archive. This comes from the cell walls of wood and other organic material breaking down over time, the primary one being lignin. From the old latin words: codex (plural codices), which meant "block of wood" split into bound leaves or tablets and written on, and odos, the archaic form of odor.

e.g., As the door to the impossibly bigger book shop opened, my nose filled with codicodos, the smell of books from many years past living their lives upon the shelves.

submitted by Jesse Munn - (www)

codicodos - The smell, odor, or olfactory essence of old books, as what one is filled with upon entering a bookstore, library, or archive. This comes from the cell walls of wood and other organic material breaking down over time, the primary one being lignin. From the old latin words: codex (plural codices), which meant "block of wood" split into bound leaves or tablets and written on, and odos, the archaic form of odor.

e.g., As the door to the impossibly bigger book shop opened, my nose filled with codicodos, the smell of books from many years past living their lives upon the shelves.

submitted by Jesse Munn - (www)

codicodos - The smell, odor, or olfactory essence of old books, as what one is filled with upon entering a bookstore, library, or archive. This comes from the cell walls of wood and other organic material breaking down over time, the primary one being lignin. From the old latin words: codex (plural codices), which meant "block of wood" split into bound leaves or tablets and written on, and odos, the archaic form of odor.

e.g., As the door to the impossibly bigger book shop opened, my nose filled with codicodos, the smell of books from many years past living their lives upon the shelves.

submitted by Jesse Munn - (www)

codicodos - The smell, odor, or olfactory essence of old books, as what one is filled with upon entering a bookstore, library, or archive. This comes from the cell walls of wood and other organic material breaking down over time, the primary one being lignin. From the old latin words: codex (plural codices), which meant "block of wood" split into bound leaves or tablets and written on, and odos, the archaic form of odor.

e.g., As the door to the impossibly bigger book shop opened, my nose filled with codicodos, the smell of books from many years past living their lives upon the shelves.

submitted by Jesse Munn - (www)

codish - The uniquely personal dialect a person uses to say code out loud. Since there's no standard, everyone has her own way of speaking it, with humorous results. Just listen to two coders attempt to engage in conversation over a programming problem -- hilarity.

e.g., Good gravy, Billy has been hacking so long today he's ordering his lunch in codish.

submitted by Moogla - (www)

codology -

© Michael Quinion -- Codology A joke, leg-pull, untrue talk, nonsense. . . . "Codology" has nothing to do with codebreaking, but is an Irishism meaning to pull someone's leg.

e.g., "That sounds like simple exposition, unless you know that codology has nothing to do with code-breaking."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

codology - The science of studying cod (fish).

e.g., He was sitting his exams in codology today.

submitted by Chris Duddle

codswallop -

Dr. Goodword tells us:

Meaning: Bull, bunkum, fiddle-faddle, flapdoodle, hogwash, horse feathers, hooey, hokum, malarkey, poppycock, tommy-rot, whang-doodle, or common, everyday windbaggery.

Notes: This word, which reeks of the days of Uriah Heap, Mr. Micawber, and the Artful Dodger, is in fact so recent a coinage that it has had no time to build a family. It is so English, however, we can easily project a codswalloper who engages in codswallopery, not to mention a naked verb: "You know that Hiram Cheaply is codswalloping if his lips are moving."

In Play: It is an unfortunate fact of modern life that we need a steady stream of words meaning "nonsense": "All that talk about Harry Beard's work in the government being top secret is codswallop, unless the government keeps his work secret to avoid embarrassment." Of course, governments usually provide the finest in codswallop: "For the best in codswallop, flapdoodle, and gobbledygook, we can now turn to Congress's own TV network, C-SPAN."

Word History: One story of the origin of this word would have Hiram Codd patenting a bottle for fizzy drinks with a neck containing a marble that kept the bottle shut until it was pressed inwards. That would have been back in the 19th century. Wallop then was a slang word for beer, so Codd's wallop could have been used by beer drinkers as a term for bad beer or soft drinks. The problem is that codswallop first appeared in print only in the 1950s. Moreover, while the word has been spelled cod's wallop, there is no published evidence of any spelling Codd's wallop. Conclusion? No one has any idea where this word comes from.

e.g., Just because Republicans will be taking control of both houses of Congress come January doesn't mean there will be any less codswallop coming out of Washington.

submitted by [HD for Robert Beard aka Dr. Goodword] - (www)

cody-eto - Name for the perfect guy -- who doesn't exist.

e.g., Jane finally realized cody-eto never was and never will be real.

submitted by ~andrea~

coelacanth - (v.) 1. to discover something completely contrary to one's expectations, especially in connection with a negative premise (e.g., Coelacanths no longer exist. 2. (adj.) of or pertaining to an occurrence contrary to the existing paradigm. 3. (n.) something whose existence contravenes the accepted paradigm. [from the Coelacanth, a type of fish thought to have died out with the dinosaurs, discovered alive in the waters off South Africa in 1938.]

e.g., When the first platypus made its way back to England in the 18th century, the naturalists of the day derided what they believed a crude hoax: their verdict was that the dead specimen before them was an otter or a beaver with a leather duck bill sewn on to it. Since it did not fit their settled mammal-reptile-bird-amphibian-fish paradigm, it simply could not exist---a real coelacanth.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

coexistulantly - To combine two words, or parts of words, names, nicknames, or phrases.

e.g., When Ms. Blair got married, her name changed to Mrs. Elkington. We decided to call her Blairkington, so her name could be used coexistulantly.

submitted by Julia - (www)

coffee - A person who is coughed on.

e.g., Bill coughed on Nancy. Since she was the coffee, she caught the flu.

submitted by Chris - (www)

coffee - Another word for snuff or chewing tobacco.

e.g., Cal, do you have any coffee?

submitted by Cal Schneider - (www)

coffee jerk - One who works in a coffee shop. Cf.: "soda jerk."

e.g., The coffee jerk was moving so slowly that the line at the pick-up counter was going out the door.

submitted by S Chow

coffee-shop intellectual - That new age, poet-type guy sitting in the corner with a beret on, putting the finishing touches on his Everquest fan fiction.

e.g., Bert: Did you hear him talking? It sounded like he ate a thesaurus. Ernie: It's all a fake, he's just a coffee-shop intellectual.

submitted by Max S. - (www)

coffeesnorter - 1. An exceptionally funny joke discovered while at the computer. 2. A person with a low-threshold for internet humor.

e.g., That was a real coffeesnorter. Now I have to clean my keyboard.

submitted by Geoff White

coffeetize - To drink coffee. Formation can be used with other food or drinks: "sodatize," "candytize," etc.

e.g., I'm so exhausted from last night, I need to coffeetize myself immediately.

submitted by Sam Spade - (www)

coffier - A coffee maker.

e.g., Why's the clock blinking on the coffier? Again?

submitted by rich

coffin fodder - An old person.

e.g., Florida in December is just filled with coffin fodder from up north. | What's the deal with your editors. They sound as if they're coffin fodder. (ED. We are. So are you. Fact is, you don't have to be old to be coffin fodder.)

submitted by Brian Bjolin - (www)

coffin-dodgers - Old folks.

e.g., I went to the bingo and it was full of coffin-dodgers

submitted by Chizza

coffine - A substance used to ingest caffeine.

e.g., We gotta stop and get a cuppa coffine ... I'm jonesing for java.

submitted by Jeffrey

cog - a cat that behaves like a dog

e.g., The cog was waiting for me by the door.

submitted by Bob

cog dis - Cognitive dissonance -- something like this: difficulty assimilating "new knowledge" that contradicts "old knowledge."

e.g., "That sounds like your own cog dis."

submitted by [Jerry Mazza] - (www)

cog nition - The humbling, tragic moment when a young person first becomes aware that he or she is not the center of the universe, but a tiny functional part of civilization.

e.g., Sweet Caroline. Please don't wrinkle that pretty brow nor redden those beautiful blue eyes with tears, now that you realize that you're not Madam Curie, or not likely to be. Just remember that you're a gorgeous 21 year old blonde southern belle, with an acceptable I.Q., and an adorable pout. And that's pretty good for now!

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

cogflabbit - Another word for dammit, but not serious at all. Conflabbit, confound it, dagnabbit, dangnabbit.

e.g., Here comes Bill. Cogflabbit.

submitted by Abubu - (www)

coglottist - A person who speaks the same language as someone else. Similar in structure and use to "coreligionist."

e.g., Henri, you speak French--help me translate this letter from one of your coglottists.

submitted by Brent Kesler

cognatoid - Something that on the surface seems difficult but, in fact, is not.

e.g., At first I was worried about that math problem. But, when I looked again. I realized it was just a cognatoid.

submitted by Tatarize

cogninkmaphone - A small, endangered insect found in the Ursula Swamps of Africa. It has long horns and vibrating legs.

e.g., Mr. Attenborough, check out the giant cogninkmaphone I've found behind this leaf.

submitted by Jess

cognitive displaysia - "The feeling you have before you even leave the house that you are going to forget something and not remember it until you're on the highway." Not original.

e.g., Even though I was forewarned by congnitive dysplasia, I still left without any money or credit cards. In other words, I left my wallet on the dining room table. Again, dammit. I think that was about the fourth time this month -- and it's only the 10th.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

cognitive dissidents - People who think differently from you.

e.g., We all seemed to believe in the theory of evolution. Well, except for George. He's one of those cognitive dissidents.

submitted by Hal Colombo

cognitivity - The power or ability to memorize or learn non-creative feats.

e.g., Andy is not creative at all, but he does possess a keen sense of cognitivity.

submitted by Guru DragonFire

cognizati - Essentially the same as cognoscenti -- those who are especially well-informed about a particular subject.

e.g., "The general consensus amongst the cognizati is that the second term of Barack Obama began on August 30th, 2012, when GOP standard-bearer Mitt Romney uttered his now-infamous “Nope; He’s my boy!” comment. Only three days after his nomination at the Republican National Convention, and Romney’s campaign was seemingly folding like a cheap tent.  
 
Angst had been building inside the circles of the national media within days of Romney announcing his choice of Congressman Alan West as his Vice Presidential running mate. Much hay was being made about Mr. West’s relative lack of experience in administrative or elected office, and the appearance that Mr. West, a black American, had been chosen simply as a black foil to Barack Obama." | Note: "General consensus" in the first example is usually considered an inferior construct by the cognizati.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

coherse - Coerce.

e.g., I dint wanna do it, but Mabel cohersed me.

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

coibhneas - (pronounced KUV-nee to rhyme with 'above me'... sorta.) (n.) 1. "The Ratio" in Irish, i.e., the ratio of marshmallows to the oat cereal bits (cat foods) in Lucky Charms. (in my (very bad) Irish, _Coibhneas idir adh go bia chait_ or "the Ratio between luck and catfood.") 2. The number of hypothetical chimipanzees versus the length of time it would take before one of them poured themselves a bowl of Lucky Charms with no marshmallows at all. 3. The ratio of good things to bad in one's life (the marshmallows are the 'good'). 4. The ratio of people trying to do something you like (the marshmallows) to people who are just getting int he way (the catfood). 5. An obvious choice: 'Coibhneas vs. catfood.'

e.g., "What's the Coibhneas in that Box?! I only got five marshmallows! Everyone else got loads!" | "Look, this is an easy choice: twenty years hard labor versus six months in minimum security with full visitation. It's not coibhneas to catfood, man."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

coinapulting - The action taken when you have only smaller "silver" coins and you need to give them that extra push to get them to register into a pesky vending machine.

e.g., I had to coinapult my dime into the soda machine to get it to count.

submitted by Pat Nowak

coincert - That annoying sound that changejinglers make.

e.g., Jerk behind me was putting on a full symphony coincert.

submitted by ZenRhino

coinciparallelism - When a person or vehicle travels along a narrow road, lane or pathway, "coinciparallelism" is the surprising tendency for that vehicle to converge at a point at the very same time as two or more other persons vehicles.

e.g., 1. Traveling down the narrow lane, the bicyclist marvelled as he experienced another episode of coinciparallelism as he overtook a jogger at the very point and time as an on-coming truck. 2. Does a high coinciparallelism index account for my high auto insurance rates?

submitted by Mark Dietz

coincubine - An extremely high maintenance girl friend.

e.g., Tank: Sweet Gee, man -- check out that chick! She makes my bones vibrate! Frank: You can grunt but ya gotta punt, Bro. She and Mount Everest! Heed me -- dat babe's a true coincubine!

submitted by Charlie Lesko

coinensadince - Coincidence. At least that's what I thought the writer had in mind. Among the worst misspellings I've ever seen -- if not the very worst. From "The Racist Tweet War Against Obama Comes to New York."

e.g., "No, it's just a coinensadince." | "What a coinensadince. " | "Is it a coinensadince that he is racist AND stupid?" | I suppose you think it's just a coinensadince that Palin is an anagram of Alpin[e]. | "Certainly not a coinensadince that they have such an ignorant outlook." | "What a coinensadince that so many of those [caught called] out are claiming to have had their Twitter accounts hacked."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

coinfusion - That uneasy moment when you receive change from a vending machine or shop assistant and can't tell if you're being duped.

e.g., Tallulah stood still, with her change in one hand and her donut in the other -- she appeared to be paralyzed by coinfusion.

submitted by Brendan

coinjugal - Think coinjugal bed, as opposed to conjugal bed = marriage bed. A coinjugal bed is one where an act of prostitution takes place -- where the man (usually) pays for sex in the coin of the realm. Or with plastic coin. On the spot, so to speak. In the conjugal bed, payment isn't quite so direct, immediate, or obvious. Antiquated though the latter concept is, how can one resist? To a man this editor's age, the man always pays. Always. One way or another.

e.g., "You say Harley was caught in flagrante delicto?" "Umm, maybe, if that means the same thing as being caught in the act -- conjoined with a hooker in a coinjugal bed."

submitted by HD Fowler

coinkedink - Used humorously, when saying coincidence is just too serious a word to use.

e.g., What a coinkedink. I didn't know you liked cheesecake too.

submitted by Tia

coinkidoink - /coin-key-do-ink (say it fast)/ slang for coincidence

e.g., "WOW! My friend wore that same shirt today! What a coinkidoink!"

submitted by speed psycho - (www)

coinking - The action of playfully pinching any fleshy part of a person's body. Also leading to "coinkage," an accumulation of playful pinches.

e.g., Oi. There'll be none of that coinking in this bar.

submitted by ShannonH - (www)

coinkydink - A coincidence. Observing that things are oddly synchronizing. May be used as a false exclamation of wonder, to suggest that one ought to take a closer look at the obvious. Or used to annoy others by applying for no apparent reason. | Coincidink = coincidence. A strange happening, unusually odd. Coinkydink.

e.g., In the minute or so I was composing a post for the Google Image Search Game, someone else put up the same picture I had come up with. Not surprising, you say? That was on a thread that hadn't been posted to for 81 days, making it a third degree coinkydink. | What a coinkidink. We were just talking about you, and bam . . . here you are. | "Merely a coinkydink that former ABC News correspondent Linda Douglass is the Director of Communications for the Obama White House Office of Health Reform?"

submitted by quizzy | krisite j. - (www)

coka soaka - When you open a can of a carbonated beverage and it sprays all over the place.

e.g., I opened a 2-liter of Coka Soaka and it ruined my white shirt.

submitted by Chris

coke - The real thing.

e.g., Waiter: What will you have to drink. Customer: A large Coke. Waiter: We don't have Coke, will Pepsi be all right? Customer: No. Please, God, save me from Pepsi.

submitted by Boris

cola - Sweet, cool.

e.g., What say?We're on the guest list for The Sea and Cake? Cola.

submitted by kenneth

cold approach - CIA expression: To approach a foreign national (usually an individual with access to information) with the intention of recruiting him as an informant (usually paid).

e.g., There have been many cold approaches of Iraqi government officials in the last ten years.

submitted by Stephen Mize

cold potatoes - A code word used to hint to the person talking to you that she needs to stop saying what she is saying without saying, "Be quiet. The person you are making fun of is right behind you."

e.g., James: Hey, did you hear that Mr. Hamilton (Boss) farts whenever he ... Jon: Cold potatoes, J. James: ... So, did you finish those TPS reports?

submitted by Jon Nicholas, III - (www)

cold-a-hellen - A slang word meaning that it is very cold outside. Used mostly in the Lancaster County area of PA.

e.g., I am putting on my long underwear, because it is going to be Cold-A-Hellen tonight.

submitted by Chris W

coldesac - Cul-de-sac.

e.g., "You think fish smell guy is bad? Hell, I was posting pics of me [...\ in 2013. What did I get? A threatening message from KAH who turned me in to the po po's. I got more e-mails from her depicting her e-mail communications with a lieutenant of the sapd cybercrimes task force. I was really shaking in my boots. By this time I had her address and within a week she was the victim of property vandalism and harassment, her husband standing at the edge of their property at [one o'clock] in the morning awaiting more vandals for him to try and catch. He did this for several days as they suffered relentless phone and drive-by harassment. Little did he know I was watching the whole time. I actually had a friend on the end of the coldesac where she lived."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

colding - What lies somewhere between chilling and cooling is colding. A verb, to make cold. Also: to cold

e.g., "Close the door! I'm colding in here!"

submitted by Jodan - (www)

coldless - Loss of any heartwarmth in soul; uncaring, negative conscience, having no "sorries" or care. More than a bit like ruthless.

e.g., Johnathon is coldless. He has neither feelings nor conscience; thus he cares for nothing.

submitted by kelly oden

coldneck - A person who has yet to discover and embrace the joy of properly insulating one's neck via a mullet or other acceptable hairstyle.

e.g., Hey, JP, that coldneck is making fun of your Camaro.

submitted by bandar

coldwater-sandwich - Beer. Beer is made using many of the same ingredients as bread, so beer is "liquid bread." Take a cold slice of liquid bread and put it in a can and you got yourself a coldwater sandwich.

e.g., Grab me one of them coldwater-sandwiches from the ice chest, would you?

submitted by Mark Schlickman

coldwater-sarnie - A British version of Coldwater-sandwich, "sarnie" being a recognised colloquialism in the UK.

e.g., I'm off to the pub for a coldwater-sarnie.

submitted by snowqueen - (www)

colink - Heating vent in the floor of a house, apt., etc. that blows warm orc old air into a room.

e.g., I dropped my keys down the colink.

submitted by Bryan

collabracadabration - Pronounced: kuh-lab-ruh-kuh-da-bur-ey-shuhn 1. A magical process of working together. 2. A product of ordinary groups of people doing extraordinary work.

e.g., The extraordinary growth of the social web is the collabracadabration of "us using us." If not for the chief magicians of collabracadabration, Wikipedia would not exist.

submitted by Mitch Bashore

collagadgetry - All the gadgets and supplies you need to make collages.

e.g., I don't understand it. The Small Business Administration rejected my request for $33.5 million to open and stock a collagadgetry store. Did they think Hobby Lobby would run me out of business?

submitted by HD Fowler

collagetry - Collage + poetry. The intersection of a collage and a poem. The poetic message embedded in a collage.

e.g., I stumbled upon collagetry as I studied a recent collage and extracted the verbal messages contained therein.

submitted by Linda Starr

collapsion - The destruction (literal or figurative) of an object or building, in a manner that is more violent than collapse, but more contained than explosion.

e.g., When they demolished the state-funded stadium, taxpayers were treated to a spectacular collapsion of the building (as well as their money).

submitted by Roger - (www)

collar id - When the label on a shirt of jacket sticks out the back for all to see, that's Collar ID.

e.g., Joyce wished someone had told her she was sporting Collar ID.

submitted by Hal Colombo

collaterals - Pulling off two failing laterals in one football game.

e.g., We were playing and the team decided to pull these collaterals out of nowhere. I mean, come on guys, collaterals in a serious football game?

submitted by retiredtireiron

collectaball - A collectable scpherical object. Also collectiball.

e.g., In the world of Star Trek collectaballs, nothing is more highly prized than a mint condition, 1970 Acme Co. ''Spock'' rubber bouncing ball. In original packaging, of course.

submitted by malone

collective voice - The use of a plural term which allows the speaker to avoid being identified as, or explicitly naming, the sole actor --or to imply a voluntary agreement or impose an obligation where none exists.

e.g., We lost control of our career. (For: I lost control of my career.) | We need to stop making so many mistakes. (For: You need to stop making so many mistakes.) | We all believe we have a duty to serve others (For: I believe I have a right to make you serve me.)

submitted by Reed

collectorize - The simultaneous acquisition or collecting of anything and sorting, categorizing or organizing of such. Rock collectors & museum curators both collectorize things.

e.g., I happen to be a collectorizer of useless info.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

collins class - Adjective meaning very shoddy or dodgy, or generally crap. Used when describing something that doesn't work. Taken from the Australian submarine of that name.

e.g., That haircut is completely Collins class.

submitted by Dave

collollopsed - To collapse, dramatically, with sort of semi-epileptic-fit type movements.

e.g., Charlie drank 20 bottles of high-velocity beer, stood up too quickly. and just collollopsed.

submitted by Whizzbang McGuirk

collyness - same as craziness, but better.

e.g., Who just drank 181 bottles of beer? Thats collyness!

submitted by Ashlee - (www)

collywally - Someone who is crazy

e.g., Eddie just jumped off a building. He's a collywally--or was.

submitted by Ashlee - (www)

collywobology - The study of intestinal cramping.

e.g., The college's collywobology program was quickly put down by the local proctologist's union.

submitted by Joey Golden

colodorant - This word encompasses two vital personal hygiene products -- deodorant and cologne. Since we need both, an individual can be succinct by using one simple, descriptive word.

e.g., After sitting next to you at dinner this evening, I must tell you, you are in need of colodorant.

submitted by Jay Arena

colomonoagilactity - The feeling of apathy towards sports.

e.g., James had colomonoagilactity for football that summer.

submitted by Fitch - (www)

colonelly - To a very great or a very intense degree; above majorly.

e.g., Most people would say Ohio is majorly boring. I say it's worse; it's colonelly boring.

submitted by Mark Nelson

colonoscophy - The study of punctuation.

e.g., As one who loves the English language, it aggravates my colonoscopy no end, when a writer doesn't know the difference between a comma and a semi-colon.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

colored person - Outdated terminology that was once commonly used to refer to Negroes -- the term "Negro" itself now perhaps little more than a "historic term." "Colored person" is considered offensive by many, although I don't really understand why the prepositional form "person of color" should be acceptable, but the adjective-noun form not.  
 
When I was taught biology in high school and college, I learned three racial classifications: Caucasoid, Mongoloid, and Negroid. I have no idea if racial classifications are taught at all these days -- the concepts having been developed by white Europeans in "European physical anthropologists of the 17th and 18th centuries." Probably not.  
 
The link takes you to the most posted to thread in the usually dormant forum for this site.

e.g., "Marriage or cohabitation between a man and woman of different races, especially, in the U.S., between a [colored person] and a white person" was illegal in 16 states until Loving v. Virginia was decided by the Supreme Court June 12, 1967.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

colorize - To litter.

e.g., Alex colorized 16th Street when she threw her slurpee cup on the ground.

submitted by Easter Bradford

colorondack - An object that is a hybrid mixture of styles that shouldn't necessarily be combined -- i.e., embodies typical characteristics found in Colorado Mountains (Midwest) and the Adirondacks (Upstate New York).

e.g., Her house is really hard to describe. It's a cross between a city loft and a typical mountain cabin. It's architectural style can be said to be of the Colorondack style.

submitted by ramsey

colostrophobia - Seniors' fear of getting colon cancer and having to wear a colostomy bag.

e.g., Ever since Jerry got colon cancer back in '98 and had to wear a bag, I've had colostrophobia, so I'm getting the old tailpipe checked every five years from now on.

submitted by Fred Brennion

colour me - Works like "I was," but more colorful.

e.g., Colour me surprised. I never expected that to happen.

submitted by elaine - (www)

colouration - For brightly and multiply coloured things.

e.g., Ooh, look at that badger's beautiful colouration.

submitted by JEPT an TOM

colourizeed - Used clothes consisting of white and only one other colour.

e.g., That outfit he wore the other day was really colourizeed.

submitted by Marisa

columbate - "To come together, to join forces dynamically"

e.g., "Friends, let us columbate in the bar for a few jars!"

submitted by Aoife

columnar food - Food that is stacked up on a plate rather than served in sections on the plate surface.

e.g., Columnar food is okay for one course of a meal. However, it loses its novelty with overuse.

submitted by Anne

columnise - To turn something into a column. In engineering terms this would mean getting down and dirty with sand and cement. In literary terms, to "columnise" is to craft written material into your own column.

e.g., Nice blog post. I'll have to columnise that and make out to my readers that I thought of it. This idea is way too feeble for a full feature; not to worry, I'll columnise it.

submitted by Jason - (www)

coma drive - When one must drive from point A to point B, the state one enters during the same long, daily commute.

e.g., Oh, I'm here already. I must have been in coma drive.

submitted by Gayle Mavor - (www)

comaed - Disfunctional component usually computer hardware

e.g., This hard drive is comaed

submitted by Andrew O - (www)

comance - A relationship between two people who work at the same company.

e.g., Noticed Ted and Sarah holding hands? Yes, they're having a comance.

submitted by Cook & Murray

comapadres - Your druggie buddies who share your drug-induced comas.

e.g., Why don't you and your comapadres just slither back where you came from. Comaprende?

submitted by Miss Speller

combat boots - What your mother wears in the worst insult anyone can give you in the Army.

e.g., What a clodhopper you are. I'll bet your mother wears combat boots.

submitted by Steve McDonald

combinate - To play multiple numbers in lottery.

e.g., When I play lotto, I combinate my numbers.

submitted by Gene

comblasterated - Well beyond intoxicated.

e.g., I don't remember much of my birthday party because I was comblasterated.

submitted by David Ladd - (www)

comblot - It's actually a combination of two words--completely forgot.

e.g., I'm so sorry that I missed our meeting, I comblot.

submitted by Kathy Gort

comboable - something that is able to be made into a combo. Used in Pool games.

e.g., "That shot looks comboable"

submitted by bjbasser

combobulate - To arrange or organize. Back formation of discombobulate. | To un-discombobulate. "[C]ombobulate is a tidied bunch of letters just screaming to be put in the Oxford English Dictionary.

e.g., The harried mother tried desperately to combobulate the winter clothing of her absent-minded offspring. | "His supporters did their best to combobulate Bruce after "the speaker was completely discombobulated by the hecklers."

submitted by Joy Yourcenar | [Cath] - (www)

combobulated - When one is completely in order.

e.g., After cleaning my room it is completely combobulated.

submitted by Dane Rauschenberg

combola - Two-year-old's word for "convertible."

e.g., Look Gottwatha, a combola.

submitted by John Booth, Jr.

combonation - Combination, perhaps having something to do with a national musical group.

e.g., Frenglish is a combonation of French and English.

submitted by Miss Speller

combustulated - Similar to discombobulated, but with no sense of confusion: angry, frustrated, out of sorts, upset. So overheated mentally your head may cause your hair to bust into flames. Because it correlates so well with combustible, this should have been an existing word all along -- as my friend Jim thought it was when he used it yesterday.

e.g., When he corrected my correct pronunciation of Cro-Magnon, I went off on him -- I definitely combustulated. Dammit, he told my sister, Dee, he'd quit doing that to me -- either trying to impress me with his knowledge of foreign words or putting me down, whichever it is. Will he never learn that adults don't want to be corrected -- especially when they aren't wrong in the first place? It's terribly, terribly offputting. If he ever calls Dee stupid again, watch out. | Every time I hear the smug and supercilious Ellis Henican expound on O'Reilly, I combustulate and wish he were in the room with me so I could smack him upside the head -- box his ears I would. It irritates me no end to think that he gets paid for his appearances, but I have to settle for yelling curses at him -- despite my wife's dismay. | I have a friend who's just about the nicest, sweetest woman you'd ever want to meet -- unless you get her all het up and combustulated about politics. Then, watch out. You might be well-advised to keep your distance if you're a flaming liberal and tend to spout off about your views.  

The Girl may not be as extreme in her view of liberals as I am -- mine approximates "The only good liberal is a dead liberal." -- but I never said she was perfect.

submitted by [Sandbox Jim] - (www)

come orver! - it's what you say when you miss someone a lot and just want to see them face to face. it sounds cuter than just plain old "come over."

e.g., i miss you lots, come orver now!

submitted by Paul Jarvis - (www)

come out missing - Loosen and detach but consequently is nowhere to be found. Turn up missing, go missing. end up missing teeth or "being eliminated" perhaps as the result of "coming out" to the wrong person or people.

e.g., Johnnie's very loose tooth came out missing during the night so we had to substitute a shark's tooth under his pillow the next night.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

come punk shun - The attack of guilt one gets, when sending a kid brother as a decoy through the punk group of bullies in the school yard, so you can avoid the gang during the ensuing melee.

e.g., I often feel a strong sense of come punk shun when I tell Mikey to run right past the Havrilla twins and their buddies after school, and I can sneak by. But it's okay -- Mikey's fast and heals real quickly.

submitted by charlie lesko

come-see-come-saw - One or the other, either or.

e.g., When asked to choose between two answers: "Eome-see-come-saw."

submitted by Tim Ward

come-with - A term used when asking someone to join you when going somewhere.

e.g., I am getting ready to go to the mall; do you want to come-with?

submitted by B Dailey

comeapartmentalize - To keep your brain activity, all ensuing behavior, and the consequences for that behavior in such hidden compartments that they, of course, someday comeapart.

e.g., I thought I could let myself get away with it, but my conscience found out and I started to comeapartmentalize.

submitted by B-Rad

comedic - Having to do with the various classes of cosmetics, the overall industry and scope of cosmetics.

e.g., Doris wore the look of a stunned grizzly bear as she entered the comedic wonderland of the new 12 acre beauty store. In fact, she would need all this makeup to cover the grizzly bear look she sported.

submitted by Doris Crinkle

comediocre - Lame or unfunny attempt at comedy.

e.g., I was hanging my head in shame as my father revealed his comediocre side in front of all my friends

submitted by pennelle

comedownance - Opposite of comeuppance.

e.g., 96-point Headline:TV CRITIC GETS COMEDOWNANCE.

submitted by Jeff Oien

comedydiots - Those who think they're really funny, but they're really obnoxious.

e.g., If that comedydiot calls me bubba one more time, I'll slap him in his input section.

submitted by rick

comes with saying - Literal opposite of the phrase "goes without saying" -- used when a statement really does need to be pointed out as it appears to be utterly unknown to the other party.

e.g., It comes with saying, but you really ought to do something about that peculiar smell in here.

submitted by Richard Munn - (www)

comesee - "its similar to come here, its what you say when you want somebody to come and look at something, usually used by itself"

e.g., ""Hey you, comesee""

submitted by Bud Atkins

comete - A birthday party at a fast food restaurant.

e.g., Are we going to have a comete for Patrick?

submitted by Squackle! - (www)

comfart zone - The phase in a relationship where you finally feel comfortable enough to pas gas in front of your significant other.

e.g., Man, I was so glad that I finally got married. I just couldn't hold my gas in any longer.

submitted by tony

comflicts - When hardware or software conflicts with your computer for whatever reason.

e.g., You might want to take out the old memory stick so there's no comflicts with the new one.

submitted by Lesah

comfordable - Pretty simple, a cross between comfortable and affordable.

e.g., The couch we bought at the flea market was very comfordable, a bargain at only $25. Soft as a baby's bottom.

submitted by Chris Sullivan

comformodore - Standard Australian family sedan.

e.g., Gee, I'd really like this year's new model Comformodore.

submitted by andy - (www)

comfortabate - to make oneself comfortable

e.g., please, come in and comfortabate yourself

submitted by Candace

comfortability - A desired state of comfort.

e.g., I am more interested in the bed's comfortability.

submitted by Max

comfty - Comfy.

e.g., Those sweatpants are comfty.

submitted by Sheila

comic-kazee - To really bomb at a live comic performance.

e.g., Brad: So, how'd you do at Monday night's open mike night? Mike: I really comic-kazeed. Brad: Yeah? Mike: Yeah, should have prepared my material better.

submitted by Paul

coming together - Polite Formula 1 slang for a crash.

e.g., That's Alonso and Irvine having a coming together.

submitted by Adam Leslie

comm-union - A Confederation of Otherwise-I dependent Clergy, United to Pool Their Power to Better Negotiate Terms of Employment with "Management" -- i.e., the church.

e.g., Richard Wanted to Work as a Priest, But Did Not Want to Belong to the Comm-Union.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy

comma-prone - Inclined to use more commas in writing than the typical modern-day American writer. Especially someone writing for a newspaper, where space has always been at a premium. How else can you account for newspapers' style guides almost universally opting not to use the Harvard, Oxford, or serial comma? The comma after and is sometimes needed for clarity -- but newspapers often leave it out even in those cases. Chances are the style guide says "Don't use a comma after and unless it's needed for clarity." Writers and editors seem to ignore the "unless it's needed for clarity" part and take the easy way out by always avoiding its use. That may save time for them, but it takes up time for their readers when they try to figure out what's been written.  
 
I opt for a potentially unnecessary comma if I think it will keep a reader from being misled. Nota bene: To me, serial commas are never optional. I follow the Chicago Manual of Style and always use them.

e.g., "I'm not sure I would have punctuated the sentence quite like that. I suspect that I'm less comma-prone than the writer is, but considerably more comma-prone than you are. There are definitely places in your essay where you didn't use commas that will have to be changed before I'll go live with it. They are included in the mark-up that follows. [One thing I'm certain of: I have more of a proclivity for asides than anyone else I know -- as well as more than a tendency to use hyperlinks in e-mails and posts to forums that allow them. No one has to take the links unless she chooses to."

submitted by HD Fowler

commaddicted - Someone who is addicted to using commas in her writing -- including poetry and pd entries.

e.g., A: Your punctuation sucks. B: I know, I'm so commaddicted.

submitted by Jessi

command prompt - A program that comes with all versions of Windows, unless they have X64 CPUs, for most have X86 CPUs, and have Command Prompt. The program is made for programmers to use a programming language called MS-DOS, but is a newer version, being for Windows. The original MS-DOS was back in the days when there was no such thing as the internet, while the Windows version includes some commands that may need to access the Internet.

e.g., Out of all the programming languages I use, one of my favorites is MS-DOS, the version that resides in the Windows XP Command Prompt.

submitted by star651

commangle - Mutually harmful, usually verbal, activity between individuals.

e.g., Deidre and Roberto lived singular, happy lives of self-absorption. Until one day they met, decided to marry and move in together, and spent the rest of their lives commangling.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

commaphiliac - Someone who loves to use commas, and tends to overuse them. Contrast with commaphobe.

e.g., Damn, whoever processed my PseudoDictionary submittal, must be a commaphiliac. There were, no commas at all, in what I submitted, but what was added, to the dictionary has about, 17, commas.

submitted by H - (www)

commentate - Comment. This word brings flavor to a conversation. A back formation from commentator.

e.g., "Jim, why are you talking to yourself?" "Well you know, Bill, I like to on what I do."

submitted by San Wolfson

commitafire - My three-year-old daughter referred to her humidifier as a commitafire.

e.g., My room is dry and I can't breath right until you turn on my commitafire.

submitted by Brian Kovacs

commode commando - Jumping into the shorter restroom line, usually the men’s, in order to urinate.

e.g., Seeing that the line to the women’s bathroom was interminable, I decided to become a commode commando and used the men’s instead.

submitted by nitag - (www)

commodorebogan - A person who drives a Commodore, usually in a stupid manner.

e.g., The guy that crashed into the pole was a definite commodorebogan.

submitted by jimmy

common - Come on.

e.g., Houseblend: Common over to Baltimore County, MD, and walk into Starbucks. It is just like going to Best Buy! August 5, 2011 at 7:06 pm

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

common scents - Certain odors or smells are very familiar. Perhaps we encounter them often so experience them frequently.

e.g., Here are some common scents that may waft your way soon: cooking|food, coffee, perfumes, soap, flowers, mowed grass, gasoline, smoke, body odor, flatulence|bodily waste.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

commonsensability - A category for software features that do not fall under any other category that ends in "ability," such as "stability" or "scalability" or even "usability."

e.g., Using SQL Server for this project gives us the reliability we need. Not using DB2 gives us commonsensability.

submitted by Klaus - (www)

commonsensical - A combination of common and sense.

e.g., It's not commonsensical. Many executives are not commonsensical.

submitted by Michelle

commontary - 1. Discourse, usually vacuous, when unexpectedly meeting friends, neighbors or strangers (e.g., "I really don't mind the heat--it's this humidity that's a killer.") 2. A narrative of bland events and happenings that ocurred in one's absence (e.g., "Junior refused to eat his vegetables at lunch today -- I had to entice him by making believe each spoonful was a choo choo train." 3. Biased personal opinions expressed in written form, or more commonly, verbally in social settings (e.e., "I have the solution to the Iraqi problem -- nuke 'em.")

e.g., Upon meeting Mike (on the street corner) (by the water cooler) (at a party), Andrea kept him (glassy-eyed and groaning) (pinned down) (struck dumb) with her 30 minute commontary on (the weather) (world politics) (her children).

submitted by Charlie Lesko

commontater - Commentator. Common taters are something else entirely.

e.g., In addition to her newsreader duties, Megyn Kelly is sometimes used as a commontater.

submitted by Miss Speller

commonwealth accent - Americans aren't very well tuned to the distinction accents from the former British Empire, making the term useful in avoiding being embarrassed.  
 
Used it for the first time this morning at store where my computer was being repaired.

e.g., "I spoke with a woman earlier who had a Commonwealth accent." "We're originally from Zimbabwe."

submitted by HD Fowler

communion police - Those stalwarts of the Roman Catholic Church who take it upon themselves to determine who should and who should not receive communion. See wafer wars.

e.g., "This was a huge public event and no one was instructed to be the communion police ordered to stop or interrupt the taking of communion for anyone present."

submitted by [subodot]

communism - The belief that an action is right and logical when it is either ludicrous, stupid, obviously foolish, comedically wrong, or completely inappropriate.

e.g., Eating Burger King's French fries is communist.

submitted by franklet - (www)

community chest - A container into which everyone puts a little something.

e.g., I thought we had an exclusive relationship, until I discovered that she was the town's No. 1 community chest.

submitted by Steve McDonald

comodian - Combination of "commode" and "comedian," used in sarcastic namecalling by children after someone makes fun of you or tells a stupid joke.

e.g., Ha ha ha, you sure are the brilliant comodian, Chris.

submitted by yimay - (www)

comorbid - New to me. "Pertaining to two diseases which occur together, such as ADHD and depression."

e.g., "I’m sure I wasn’t quite the maverick in coming up with the term and it just hadn’t spread to the web in those days, but I still half-joking swear to my web design students, when I make them read Steve Krug’s book [_Don’t Make Me Think_] , that I at least comorbidly came up with the phrase 'it's not rocket surgery' around 1999-2002."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

comote - The television remote control. Full version:comote retrole.

e.g., I want to watch television. Where's the comote retrole?

submitted by Melissa

compactify - To condense, to shrink, to make smaller, to put into a compact state.

e.g., Please compactify the results of your experiment so that they will fit on this page.

submitted by Mike Repin

company detox - Process going on post-Enron by which companies are publicly purging their balance sheets of previously unreported items that might scare investors if they found out by accident or through the press. Also known as "balance sheet detox."

e.g., Did you see that exceptional charge on the profits of XYZ announced last week? Talk about company detox.

submitted by Alan Morrison - (www)

company, the - Central Intelligence Agency.

e.g., The Company is quite likely to grow in both funding and personnel due to the events of 9-11.

submitted by Stephen Mize

compartmentalized - Information that is limited to only certain people, disregarding rank and authority, has been compartmentalized. From the X-Files show and its premise that information about the alien invasion was limited to only a few key people in the FBI. Actual word created by Glen Morgan and James Wong. Used extensively by me during work hours to describe my activities.

e.g., Boss: You clocked in at 8 and nobody has seen you since. What have you been doing? Me: Sorry, that information has been compartmentalized. Can I go to lunch now?

submitted by Quito Washington

compass - A computer student who happens to be an ass.

e.g., I really wanted that other marking scheme. I'm gonna find that compass who complained.

submitted by Gabe

compassiontainment - Television or other mass media presentation that makes the audience feel better about itself by featuring guests or subject matter that evokes feelings of compassion, sympathy, or pity: the misery and misfortune of others is a primary source of entertainment.

e.g., Oprah didn't realize that Jonathan Franzen refused to participate in her Book Club because his novel _The Corrections_ is partly a criticism of America's infatuation with her patented brand of compassiontainment.

submitted by Bob Stewart

compatible damage - This is damage or harm or destruction that you can live with, even accept or benefit from -- no one seems to mind or complain about it.

e.g., The lying waste of village AK443 during the revolution was regarded as no big deal: it was simply considered as more compatible damage, quite acceptable.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

compblugerslauge - Hip, retro . . . awesome.

e.g., Heather: Wow, I'm impressed. You rule the dance floor when you pull off that fabulous little dance move you developed. It's compblugerslauge. Mari: Are you for real, Heather? You sound like a throwback to Grammy Shirley when you talk like that.

submitted by Maria

competism - A disorder when one is always wanting to make anything into a competition.

e.g., Joey's competism gave him many bruises when he ran into a tiger.

submitted by Jess

competitional - Competitional, the adjective form of competition.

e.g., John has such competitional tendencies. He always seems to think he's in a race.

submitted by Myr Wilson

competitious - Competitive.

e.g., When I start playing video games, I do get competitious.

submitted by Lucinda Inganni

competitous - Competitive, for one who likes to compete to win. In my opinion competitive has too many syllables and doesn't roll off the tounge as nicely as competitous.

e.g., I always play rough. I'm very competitous and I hate to lose.

submitted by Nykee

compinion - A company opinion. An opinion someone holds just because she belongs to a group or party or firm where that view is standard.

e.g., The spokesman burbled on to the bitter end, but all that came out were compinions.

submitted by Erasmus Thrasamund

complaint of actors - 'Complaint' is the word used to describe a group of actors.

e.g., At the restaurant I noticed a complaint of actors crowded around a table.

submitted by Shane McPherson

completionist - It is used to describe both (a) a person who feels compelled to complete something once they have started it; and (b) a person who collects certain related items (for example, all Star Wars related things) and buys eveything they can in the collection even if it is something that, on its own, the collector would not particularly like.

e.g., I would not recommend the new Star Trek book to anyone excect completionists.

submitted by Norm

complexcellent - Technically complex and very well done.

e.g., Thomas, that beat you made up on your drum set is complexcellent.

submitted by landon hildebrand

complexibility - The more flexible a system or process is, the more complex it becomes. Typically used to describe flexibility in software that leads to great complexity.

e.g., The complexibility of the system caused the users great frustration.

submitted by Ian Cole

complexicated - The state of being both complex and complicated. (See complexify.)

e.g., I couldn't finish the assignment because the instructions were so complexicated.

submitted by Pseudoryx

complexify - To make something more complex and complicated. Used by SecDef Donald Rumsfield.

e.g., "We do not want to simplify for them; we want to complexify -- if such a word exists."

submitted by [Donald Rumsfeld] - (www)

compliddity - Usually occurs after someone asks you a question, and your answer is slightly delayed, and she asks "Are you sure?" The little bastard makes you doubt yourself and you aren't sure whether you were sure, or were ever really sure about anything. Long-term effects include the overall inability to make up your mind.

e.g., Due to an episode over super-sizing a Mcmeal to split with his girl last January, Jerry was in a constant state of compliddity and had to rely on a shiny silver dollar to make up his mind.

submitted by bre

compliement - 1. A compliment used to complement other forms of obsequiousness. It also adds another confusible to the "complement" vs "compliment" confusion. 2. Fanciful sycophancy. 3. Praise about and via the internet.

e.g., She was fawning over me already, but then she compounded her sycophancy by offering the sugariest compliement I had ever heard. Don't you just love it when people suck up to you that way? | Bro's e-mail: "Flo, honey, I really LUV the way you use sexy cursive fonts with baby blue colors in all your e-mails." Flo's reply: "Wow. Thanks for the compliEment, dawg."

submitted by Machiavellean & . . . Lesko - (www)

complify - To complicate or make unnecessarily complex. Complexify.

e.g., No need to complify. I don't understand it, anyway. Too many factors lead to overcomplification during the development of a performance plan.

submitted by Kimi

compliment magnet - Said of make-up, clothing, jewelry, or other accessories so attractive that they draw an inordinate number of compliments.

e.g., She's a stand-alone compliment magnet, no matter what she's wearing or what she's doing. Using one inadequate word to describe her, she's terrific.

submitted by HD Fowler

compliment sandwich - A compliment that upon closer examination is found to be a criticism. From the practice of wrapping criticisms or insults, sandwich-like, between two compliments.

e.g., His girlfriend said, "You were so thoughtful to buy that sweater for me. It would've been even better if it had been the right size. What a sweet gift." Yeah, nice compliment sandwich.

submitted by Kathy Valenti

complinsult - A more succinct way of saying backhanded compliment (already in the dictionary). A compliment that is then hastily returned with an insult, supposedly to lessen the blow of the latter.

e.g., You should take this as a complinsult: You don't look as fat in that dress. | Comments like that make you sound much less stupid than usual. That's not a catty remark -- it's a complinsult.

submitted by Elamberdor

complooter - A slurred version of "computer',"used when trying to make a situation lighter.

e.g., Can I go on the complooter? "No! You've been online for the last three days straight."

submitted by

compooter - A computer that is laggy, is slow, not virus-protected, brecks down continually, or freezes easily. You can stop the breckdowns if you just use the right shampoo.

e.g., Sorry, laggy compooter. I keep on trying to talk to you and play music at the same time, but it keeps freezing.

submitted by Ian Faynik

compophobia - An intense fear of creative writing.

e.g., If your limbs become rigid and your brain freezes at the sight of a blank sheet of paper or if your gastric muscles involuntarily contract at the mention of "verbs" or "descriptive," you may suffer from compophobia.

submitted by Brew

comprendex - A computerized index used with software, database, and web applications.

e.g., The comprendex returns all corresponding prices to the products selected in the e-commerce web site.

submitted by Brian Thompson

compromote - To move to a higher position in an organization's hierarchy by means of incorrect criteria.

e.g., Just because Marvis has superb computer programming skills, he got compromoted to be our supervisor although he lacks obvious social skills.

submitted by MD Caruso

compruter - Ghetto slang for computer.

e.g., Can you help me with my compruter?

submitted by plastic - (www)

compstipation - The reason for all computer output interruptions.

e.g., I couldn't get my current bank balance because the bank's computer was compstipated.

submitted by Wayne-o

compte-de-poulets - (Rhymes with STOMPED-to-goo-LAY; n.) Usually rendered \"COM-du-poo-LAY\" (French for \"chicken tally,\" that is, \"a count of chickens\"), something a person plans on or expects, based, however, upon unlikely or dubious receipt of funds.

e.g., Buying a car based on a lucky feeling about a lottery ticket is a very definite compte-de-poulets.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

comptonization - The process in which a Caucasian enters, if you may, the ghetto or the projects, and is faced with having to prove herself unwillingly against an African-American.

e.g., George and Hamilton had a terrifying experience with comptonization last Friday walking down street to get a 40oz. Miller High Life.

submitted by Juan Huizar

compuchips - A potato snack shaped like oversized computer chips -- and they make you smarter.

e.g., I've been eatin' the new compuchips for nigh on to three months and already my IQ has shot up to 77.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

compunabula - Forlorn, extant, or obsolete computer-related items. Generally related to the collection and appreciation of said items. Based on the word incunabula.

e.g., It started when I got my first Apple II, and now I can't even get into the basement because of all the piles of compunabula I've got down there.

submitted by Grant Hutchinson - (www)

compunsition - To compose or create a pun.

e.g., Fredericka's phrase was a compunsition of such rhetorical fragrance that the chairperson demanded a 15 minute recess.

submitted by Mark Lee - (www)

compusexual - New classifiction of sexuality, used to describe someone who has bonded to her computer in a special way and requires no human contact beyond her system. Usually a recluse.

e.g., Our best guess is that she's compusexual, seeing as how she isn't interested in one sex or the other but loves her computer.

submitted by Nick Umstead

computato - An adjective used to describe a person who does nothing more than sit at his computer for hours on end.

e.g., Dave's turned into a computato since he got his new computer. His wife is giving him hell.

submitted by Gary Burk

computer pimp - Person who uses the internet dating systems to meet and date numerous people

e.g., Kyle has meet so many women on the internet he has been labeled a computer pimp.

submitted by Kirby Daniel, Jr

computer serial killer - Anyone over the age of 50 who refers to a computer as "the machine" and would most likely fry it if she ever touched it.

e.g., My grandpa became a computer serial killer yesterday; it kept beeping at him and he threw his shoe at it.

submitted by Ryan Greenzweig

computerate - To use the computer.

e.g., I wish I had more time to computerate.

submitted by John E. Cline

computercommuter - Someone who stays at home and works "in the office" via computer.

e.g., On Mondays and Thurdays the boss is strictly a computer commuter.

submitted by John Horvath - (www)

computerus - The soothing place where hackers and hardcore gamers go to be surrounded by and meld with their equipment. This environment is similar to the quiet sensory deprivation and isolation of the womb.

e.g., After a tough work week, Bret curled up in his computerus for a weekend of electronic solitude.

submitted by The StormBringer

computery - Used when watching the movie new moon to describe the shapeshifters.

e.g., Wow, Jacob is too computery.

submitted by Roy

computholic - Someone who is addicted to computers.

e.g., My son is a computholic.

submitted by Milagros - (www)

computholic - Someone who is addicted to computers.

e.g., My son is a computholic.

submitted by Milagros - (www)

compution - Computer-based solution.

e.g., Different computions may be available for the problem.

submitted by Parameswaran

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