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b and e - Originally derived from Coptalk, meaning breaking and entering. Can also mean to crash an event, show up uninvited.

e.g., Everybody's gonna be at Blane's Saturday night!.I say we B and E it and show up too.

submitted by Paul

b and t crowd - Bridge and Tunnel Crowd. Slightly derogatory term used in major metropolitan areas to describe outlanders who commute into the city by car or rail. In San Francisco, for instance, this would be the crowd from Oakland and the East Bay. Term originated in New York City (Manhattan) to describe those persons who commute by rail or auto from New Jersey to party on weekends. B&T'rs are thought to be less sophisticated than their city-dwelling neighbors who consider themselves to be more suave and better-informed.

e.g., Let's not go to Spazio's this weekend. It'll be nothing but the B and T crowd again.

submitted by Paul

b group - Second set of friends, usually not friemdly with the original group of friends. Usually happens after a falling out among a large group of people.

e.g., Are you hanging out with us or the b group tonight?

submitted by L Patanjo

b o bummer - The bad experience of smelling, or having, an unusually foul odor, usually of the underarms, or other bodily areas.

e.g., I once went to sit down in a rapid transit car in the hot summer, near Shaker Heights I think it was, and, hold everything (especially the nose) the nice lady sitting right in front of me was a pure potent B O bummer. Had to sit there all the way to downtown Cleveland. A scent for your brainwaves.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

b'cept - Bersept. But except--joined. Thanks to Natalie for this word.

e.g., I was going to go to the beach b'cept the forecast called for rain.

submitted by darrell milton

b'gurk! - Australian. Used when a person accidentally utters a loud stupid sound when frightened or nervous, or in general when a person stupidly fumbles something. A play on the sound a chicken makes when you frighten or grab it.

e.g., I sneaked up on Jane and grabbed her, and she did a b'gurk! | Player fumbles a football - "That was a complete b'gurk!" | Can be exclaimed singularly to mock a person when you see said event occur: "B'gurk!"

submitted by Khal

b'oh - Used in same context as "d'oh" and indicates a failure to remember the word "d'oh" from The Simpsons. Common usage occurs when schooling self-appointed simpson-philes, over-quoters ... or just to be different.

e.g., Frack: Did you see Bart & company last night? Frick: B'oh. No, I forget to get work off last night.

submitted by Bryon - (www)

b'rack 'n brew - Do you remember Billy Beer? This could be at least as good. In the shiny black-and-blue can. The bracken taste disappears after five cans.

e.g., It's better than a 40 oz. malt licker. Lick up some a the new B'rack 'n Brew, it grows on you.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

b'rack beauty - Some people can see it, others cannot. A running horse which is like a rolling stone? Beauty is sometimes mainly in the mind of the beholder. Beauty is sometimes only skin deep?

e.g., B'rack beauty, he's mighty like a rose. There's a nice smell, too. But don't most roses have thorns; we haven't seen them yet. Maybe later.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

b'rack bury whine - Whine. Alas and alack, how the mighty are fallen, sometimes. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

e.g., If'n they bury b'rack, some people are bound to whine, no doubt.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

b'shower - That annoying cross between a bathtub and a shower. Why can't it make up its mind?

e.g., I hate the b'shower--the floor is always so slippery that I'm afraid I'll fall and break my hip.

submitted by Walter Swarthau

b'unh - An exclamation of dismay and surprise. Pronounced "buh" but quite nasal.

e.g., B'unh, I dropped my plate.

submitted by Meredith

b'wamber - But remember.

e.g., Older sibling to younger sibling, "I'm going out with my friends. See you later." Younger sibling, "B'wamber, Mum said you had to take me with you."

submitted by darrell milton

b-boat - Something generally regarded as lesser or worse but which is actually better by far.

e.g., Off-brand Lucky Charms are b-boat to the real ones anyday.

submitted by Jacklyn

b-cubed - Bland beyond belief.

e.g., Since my ulcers have flared up again, my doctor has put me back on a b-cubed diet. I hate it.

submitted by HD Fowler

b-e-a-utiful - Used when something bad happened to you and you're sarcastically saying that what happened to you was a good thing.

e.g., After my wallet got stolen I said well that is just B-E-A-utiful.

submitted by Scott

b-list - A list containing those who did not quite make the top list, the A-list

e.g., The term "B-list" makes the B-list. ("Makes sense when appended to its own quotation" makes sense when appended to its own quotation. -- Hume.)

submitted by Wayne Hagood

b-rad - Gangster term for the name Brad.

e.g., Just go and talk to B-rad.

submitted by Amy Davis

b-tard - A hopelessly random forum spammer. Someone who posts in /b/. Originally from's random /b/ forum.

e.g., Look at that guy posting about ballet on a biker forum. What a b-tard.

submitted by Matty D

b-team - Inferior group. A sarcastic way to tell people they suck.

e.g., I'm singularly unimpressed. That wasn't amazing. You should be on the B-team.

submitted by juse - (www)

ba - An explosive form of "goodbye," when in a hurry, and wishing to have the last word. (There is no come-back to "Ba.")

e.g., "See ya." "See ya." "I've got to go." "Yep, see ya." "Ba."

submitted by Jude

ba-na-na - The concept of something being exactly as it appears, often being a subject of unecessary analysis, stemming from the idea that sometimes a banana is nothing more than a banana. Taken from alternate reality game circles; popularized by user "duckiemonster." (Not the submitter.)

e.g., While watching Lost, Rupert thought he saw the word "death" in the leaves of the trees during a scene, but Jake convinced him it was just a ba-na-na.

submitted by Gaspar Lewis

baa - Bad. Not good.

e.g., Baa, no more tofu.

submitted by sagie

babalicious - Of an absolutely beautiful woman.

e.g., "That girl over there is absolutely babalicious." "Why don't you go over and say hello?" "Well, the last time I did that, I ended up getting slapped. All I said was that the back looked different from the front. She took that to mean I was talking about her body. All I meant was that the way the light shined on her velvet dress gave it two different looks." "Damn, girls sure do get touchy when their bodies start to develop, don't they?"

submitted by David Appelt

babbers - Term of affection when addressing someone. Assumed origin, Bristol slur on baby to babs to babbers. Bristolian (from Bristol, UK).

e.g., "Hello, me babbers." "Ww bis me babbers?"

submitted by Adam B Tayler

babble fish - A fish that translates any spoken language into a language that the person possessing the fish can understand.

e.g., To understand the Vogons, you'll have to have a babble fish in your ear. (For those who think this should be spelled "babelfish" or "babel fish" or "BabelFish" or "Babel Fish"--guti. Douglas Adams (who died May 11, 2001) would probably have appreciated the whimsy of randomly using alternative spellings.)

submitted by Mike Williams

babblegram - A long rambling voice-mail.

e.g., Sorry for leaving you a babblegram earlier, but I wanted to explain everything in impersonal yet minute detail.

submitted by geoff

babblemon - In every group or organization there is someone who has to say something. Such persons are usually ignorant of facts and policy and refuse to be informed. A noun and verb composed of "babble" and "moron."

e.g., One can always count on our resident babblemon to drive us all to the local pub after every meeting.

submitted by John Hemstreet, D.D. - (www)

babbleonian - One who continually talks … who babbles on and on and on and.…

e.g., Chris is a babbleonian.

submitted by Jay Willson

babblescent - A pre-teen or adolescent, based on the characteristic behavior of such young people -- they are always talking.

e.g., In my 8th grade class, the babblescents could not settle down. They continued talking and giggling long after the bell rang.

submitted by Carol L. Evans

babbling brooke - A person who can’t kept her mouth shut, or keep a secret.

e.g., He should not have told her about his plans -- he knew her to be a babbling brooke.

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler

babbling ram - A verbal technique used to suppress opposition by using forceful, senseless babbling.

e.g., Eric never answered my question, but after his babbling ram, I wasn't curious anymore.

submitted by Mark - (www)

babe ratio - The ratio of babes to total women present in any gathering, expressed as a percentage. If two women are there, and only one is a babe, the babe ratio is 50.

e.g., The babe ratio at the mall is approaching 99 today.

submitted by Wayne Hagood

babelfish - Machine-translated.

e.g., Check the example at pseudowoordenboek to see what happens when your writing gets babelfished.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

babelic - (Ba-BELL-ick, to rhyme with grab-RELic; adj.) 1. Of or pertaining to a disaster or calamity one has brought upon himself; 2. Of or pertaining to calamities of Biblical proportions, especially disasters hubric or linguistic. [From the Tower of Babel (Genesis 11).]

e.g., "Okay, what?!" "What's the matter?" "It's this next line in the Defendant's brief .... It's unbelievably ... um ... badly written." "Let's hear it." "Okay: 'Homeowners in Sky Village have the unique feature of having a private airport with a landing strip running down the middle of their backyards, allowing them to fly into their homes, situated on one and a half to two and a half acres, in their small engine private airplanes and taxi home.'" "Wow. That's terrible." "I was going to say 'ghastly' myself." "It is Babelic in its rhetorical failings."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

babelicious - Physically attractive to a high degree.

e.g., Jeff noted that the new girl, Jessica, was babelicious.

Profile of Brooklyn's now closed Tainted Lady Lounge

Williamsburg's sauciest lounge is the brainchild of Deb Parker, the rock 'n' roll impresario who opened Beauty Bar and Barmacy (now Otto's Shrunken Head). With wall-to-wall painted pinups — the work of a talented upstate truck driver — and a retro pattern of blue and gold glitter on Kelly green walls, the interior is as dazzling as a showgirl's décolletage. The cocktails pay cheeky tribute to old-school stars with rocky reputations, such as Hedy Lamarr's Silk Stockings, a surprisingly tasty, frothy pink drink made with tequila, creme de cacao and grenadine, and the strong, tropical Zombie dedicated to Frances Farmer. The crowd tends to be young, attractive and generously tattooed, energizing an open-minded, anything-goes atmosphere. A jukebox, as well as laptop DJs mixing Irma Thomas, Dolly Parton and Peaches, righteously back up the babelicious scene. — Karen Hudes

submitted by Robin

babelickious - Of a woman so sexually attractive you want to lick her from head to toe.

e.g., Inexperienced though he was, Jim was so desperate for a job that he decided to answer an ad for tryouts for a lion tamer with the circus passing through town. Applicant after applicant entered the cage, only to fail miserably. In line just ahead of Jim was a gorgeous blonde, clad in a full-length fur coat. The ringmaster opened the cage and she entered to take her turn. After taking a couple of steps forward, she dropped her coat to the floor of the cage, revealing herself to be completely nude. The lion took one look, then got down on all fours and meekly crawled across to her, purring all the way. When he reached the babelickious blonde, the lion started licking her from head to foot. Turning to Jim, the ringmaster said, "Do you think you can beat that?" "I dunno," Jim said. "But you get that damned lion out of the cage and I'll give it a try." |  

Sure, to me she was always beautiful -- but I never once thought of her in terms of being sexy -- and certainly not as being babelickious. Not so with Sandbox Jim.

submitted by HD Fowler

babelrybski - Text mangled by machine translation to or from Russian.

e.g., "On the fifth bottom she sang in the polecat"? That sounds like babelrybski.

submitted by Pierre Abbat

babliography - From the root words "babble" and "biography," a "babliography" is the random, babbling biography that a person creates and posts on social media sites such as Facebook in a desperate attempt to leave a mark of their passing this way, and to convince themselves and their readers that they have some relevance and significance in the world.

e.g., I have yet to find a babliography worth reading.

submitted by Kathleen Viens

baboots - Ugly boots, like Uggs, fun fur, etc. Also, anything that remotely resembles Chewbacca's feet. | Italian term of endearment -- or a nickname.

e.g., Look at that hot chick crossing the street -- but what's up with the baboots? | My grandson is my little baboots

submitted by Austin | Robin

babu - No. From the Central African language of Hausa.

e.g., Q: Would you like some toad eye soup? A: Babu.

submitted by Shari Parker

babunka - The small pot belly obtained after the consumption of a large greasy take-away meal. More easily gained by men over the age of thirty.

e.g., Almost instantly after having the mega meal deal the babunka was obvious -- the tummy was now protruding more than the chest.

submitted by David Christie

baby bloomers - Tiny flowers or fancy diapers for baby girls.

e.g., Baby bloomers were included in the flower arrangement. Little Sally looks so cute in baby bloomers.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

baby doll - A person male or female who is really attractive or very cute.

e.g., Look at Albert. He's a baby doll.

submitted by Jermaine Onwubere

baby drool - Gibberish that one can babble over pets or small children. Comes from "baby talk" and "drool."

e.g., Whenever I come home, I pick up my cats and lavish them with baby drool.

submitted by Firestorm

baby jesus awesome - Pretty much as awesome as it gets -- at least according to the example, which comes from an review of Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk. More reviews at the link provided. My son turned me on to "gut-busting" Amazon reviews by linking me to reviews for How to Avoid Huge Ships. I found reviews for Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages on my own, while I was looking for comments on the HAHS reviews. Some of the CTAD were ba-- gut busting, too.

e.g., "Adding this desk to my car's steering wheel has been baby Jesus awesome. I love e-mailing the Highway Patrol while I drive to let them know the tag numbers of cell-phone using drivers. Lordy!"  
Another review of the desk to end all desks, less a "baby Jesus awesome" reference: "Believe it or not, I'm typing this review on my laptop steering wheel desk! As a school bus driver I was never be able to check my e-mail and update Facebook while at work. Now I am networking more than ever! I am recommending this product to the school board later this month."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

babydaddy - The father of one's child, especially when no other relationship exists.

e.g., Because he's the babydaddy, he's supposed to pay child support.

submitted by Paul

babyfrat - A new frat brother -- also, freshfrat.

e.g., When I first joined Sigma Delta Pi hace mucho tiempo at first I was a babyfrat, and soon after that a freshfrat.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

babyhead - One who acts in an unrelentingly childish and whiney manner. Not necessarily an insult, but just a natural state of being for everyone, sometimes.

e.g., I'm sorry that I was acting like such a babyhead last night. I hadn't gotten much sleep and I had low blood-sugar.

submitted by elana farley

babylon - A slang term for the police. UK, predominantly used in the London area.

e.g., I can hear the sirens of the babylon.

submitted by Jane

babyposer - A foam device used to secure infants in various poses for photographic work. Possible a trademark name?

e.g., Please get me the medium layback babyposer.

submitted by sam

babytooked - To be taken against one's will. Variation on "kidnapped."

e.g., Mandi was out walking, minding her own business, when she was babytooked by a gang of thugs and taken to New York.

submitted by Melissa Z.

bacachopam - General term for red meat or livestock used for red meat (ie. ham, pork, beef; pigs, cows).

e.g., "Enough with the greenery, let's have at the bacachopam."

submitted by Satisinpain

bachground music - Music performed by elite musician(s) but that nobody is really paying attention to or cares about.

e.g., Heard they had great Bachground music at the embassy dinner last night.

submitted by Kulnor the Wise - (www)

bachleorbeast - An evolutionary offshoot of the bachleor, noted for its unhealty diet and ability to survive in destitute squalor

e.g., Without proper management, my divorced friend would quickly transform into a bachleorbeast.

submitted by Dr. Science

back - Bar room slang for a chaser.

e.g., I'll have whisky neat with a beer back.

submitted by Stephen Mize

back button panic - The spasmodic, uncoordinated movements you make when you're surfing porn on the Net and you realize that somebody is standing behind you and can see what you're doing.

e.g., I'd've managed to click out of before Mom saw anything if it hadn't been for back button panic.

submitted by martyn

back drill - Anything really boring.

e.g., Camping out waiting for tickets must have been a back drill.

submitted by ditnis

back hole - The ole outhouse out back, where folk go to sit a spell as the body moves them.

e.g., I aim to be out back at the back hole shortly after suppertime for a sit me down and a smoke to take a load off me feet for a spell and ease me mind and would like to meet you there right after for a game or two of horseshoes if'n you have the time, please.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

back o'bourke - Back of beyond; middle of nowhere.

e.g., In Australia it doesn't take too long to reach the back o'Bourke

submitted by John

back side of the clock - Basically, a term used to describe the graveyard shift, 11 pm to 7 am. Pilots who fly freight late at night also refer to "flying the back side of the clock," and many prefer it, as the airways are less crowded late at night.

e.g., I just drew the backside of the clock in our shift bids at work. I hope my wife is OK with that.

submitted by Paul

back spackle - The dirt, mud, and other gunk that accumulates on the back of your shirt or jacket when you ride a bike on a wet or muddy surface.

e.g., Joe kicked up a lot of back spackle when he rode his mountain bike through the muddy puddle.

submitted by lizard

back tat - A tattoo, primarily on a female, that is on the backside, usually in the small of the back.

e.g., Get a load of Cheryl's backtat. It looks like pigeon dung. Was she talking to OKM, the notorious campus atheist, about the existence of God when she had it done?

submitted by Elmer Fudd

back up - (BACK-up; n.) An exercise/stretching routine beginning with a back bend---hands above the head, with feet and hands flat on the ground---and arching the back up as high as possible on the hands and feet (on your toes, if possible), then relaxing back down without resting the back on the floor. Depending on flexibility, strength, and experience, one may undertake as many repetitions as desirable, although the inexperienced may wind up with serious muscle strain. [Analogy from "push up."]

e.g., My 14-year old daughter loves doing back ups as part of her daily stretches. Of course, she's as limber as kelp; I, on the other hand, am stiff as the sphinx and can't do even one.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

back-asswards - Doing something in the most ridiculously wrong order.

e.g., No one would give Chris any critical projects because he does everything back-asswards.

submitted by paulsan

backal - (Rhymes with "Jackal"; adj.) The converse of "frontal"; i.e., of, from, or to the back.

e.g., The movie didn't have any full frontal nudity, but it sure had a lot of full backal nudity. || We snuck around behind them for a backal assault.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

backatcha - A reply to a sent message.

e.g., Backatcha. Thanks so much for sending that bad news.

submitted by val kreil - (www)

backblog - Overflow of incidents you intend to write about on your weblog.

e.g., I've been meaning to write about my last five dates, but I have to work through my backblog.

submitted by Bill Jennings - (www)

backblogarrythmia - A disruption in the regular flow of weblog posts, often caused by overwork, booze, or a new romance. Primary symptom is the backblog, which in turn can exacerbate the problem through increased levels of performance stress. Treatment: JFPS -- Just Fucking Post Something.

e.g., Jed's been suffering from backblogarrythmia for weeks, and it wasn't really getting better until I encouraged him to just post something. It was pretty scary when he would just twitter like 15 or 20 times a day and not do anything else. I was afraid we'd lost him for good.

submitted by Paul Gallagher - (www)

backbruiser - a paticularly uncomfotable chair. A chair with a hard back.

e.g., The backbruisers in the school make it very hard to sleep through class.

submitted by jae - (www)

backdoor_entry - Setting up a menu of "favorite" sites for a blog, I found that one of the sites ( has been disabled, whether temporarily or not I don't know. Since I have more than one blog, I needed a way to keep from sending clickers to a disabled site. Since this is another of my favorite sites -- one for which I am 100% responsible for any new content -- I decided to use a NotLong link to make this "backdoor entry" to the pseudodictionary.  
To make sure anyone who reaches this has something worthwhile to read, I put something that satisfies that criteria in the example space. If you don't agree that the Constitution is worth reading, I sincerely hope you aren't living in the United States.


Constitution of the United States of America  


Preamble Note

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article I - The Legislative Branch Note

Section 1 - The Legislature

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section 2 - The House

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

(Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.) (The previous sentence in parentheses was modified by the 14th Amendment, section 2.) The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section 3 - The Senate

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, (chosen by the Legislature thereof,) (The preceding words in parentheses superseded by 17th Amendment, section 1.) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; (and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 17th Amendment, section 2.)

No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section 4 - Elections, Meetings

The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Place of Chusing Senators.

The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall (be on the first Monday in December,) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 20th Amendment, section 2.) unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section 5 - Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment

Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behavior, and, with the Concurrence of two-thirds, expel a Member.

Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.

Section 6 - Compensation

(The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.) (The preceding words in parentheses were modified by the 27th Amendment.) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Section 7 - Revenue Bills, Legislative Process, Presidential Veto

All bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by Yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section 8 - Powers of Congress

The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

To borrow money on the credit of the United States;

To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

To establish Post Offices and Post Roads;

To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations;

To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

To provide and maintain a Navy;

To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings; And

To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section 9 - Limits on Congress

The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

The privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

(No capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.) (Section in parentheses clarified by the 16th Amendment.)

No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince or foreign State.

Section 10 - Powers prohibited of States

No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.

Article II - The Executive Branch Note

Section 1 - The President Note1 Note2

The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice-President chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

(The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two persons, of whom one at least shall not lie an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; a quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two-thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice-President.) (This clause in parentheses was superseded by the 12th Amendment.)

The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

(In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.) (This clause in parentheses has been modified by the 20th and 25th Amendments.)

The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Section 2 - Civilian Power over Military, Cabinet, Pardon Power, Appointments

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to Grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offenses against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section 3 - State of the Union, Convening Congress

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section 4 - Disqualification

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Article III - The Judicial Branch Note

Section 1 - Judicial powers

The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behavior, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section 2 - Trial by Jury, Original Jurisdiction, Jury Trials

(The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority; to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls; to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction; to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party; to Controversies between two or more States; between a State and Citizens of another State; between Citizens of different States; between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.) (This section in parentheses is modified by the 11th Amendment.)

In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.

The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.

Section 3 - Treason Note

Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

The Congress shall have power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

Article IV - The States

Section 1 - Each State to Honor all others

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.

Section 2 - State citizens, Extradition

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.

A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

(No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, But shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.) (This clause in parentheses is superseded by the 13th Amendment.)

Section 3 - New States

New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

Section 4 - Republican government

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.

Article V - Amendment Note1 - Note2 - Note3

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

Article VI - Debts, Supremacy, Oaths

All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

Article VII - Ratification Documents

The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth. In Witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names. Note

Go Washington - President and deputy from Virginia

New Hampshire - John Langdon, Nicholas Gilman

Massachusetts - Nathaniel Gorham, Rufus King

Connecticut - Wm Saml Johnson, Roger Sherman

New York - Alexander Hamilton

New Jersey - Wil Livingston, David Brearley, Wm Paterson, Jona. Dayton

Pensylvania - B Franklin, Thomas Mifflin, Robt Morris, Geo. Clymer, Thos FitzSimons, Jared Ingersoll, James Wilson, Gouv Morris

Delaware - Geo. Read, Gunning Bedford jun, John Dickinson, Richard Bassett, Jaco. Broom

Maryland - James McHenry, Dan of St Tho Jenifer, Danl Carroll

Virginia - John Blair, James Madison Jr.

North Carolina - Wm Blount, Richd Dobbs Spaight, Hu Williamson

South Carolina - J. Rutledge, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney, Charles Pinckney, Pierce Butler

Georgia - William Few, Abr Baldwin

Attest: William Jackson, Secretary

The Amendments Note

The following are the Amendments to the Constitution. The first ten Amendments collectively are commonly known as the Bill of Rights. History

Amendment 1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment 3 - Quartering of Soldiers. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment 4 - Search and Seizure. Ratified 12/15/1791.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment 5 - Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings. Ratified 12/15/1791.

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment 6 - Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses. Ratified 12/15/1791.

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Amendment 7 - Trial by Jury in Civil Cases. Ratified 12/15/1791.

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment 8 - Cruel and Unusual Punishment. Ratified 12/15/1791.

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment 9 - Construction of Constitution. Ratified 12/15/1791.

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment 10 - Powers of the States and People. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Amendment 11 - Judicial Limits. Ratified 2/7/1795. Note History

The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.

Amendment 12 - Choosing the President, Vice-President. Ratified 6/15/1804. Note History The Electoral College

The Electors shall meet in their respective states, and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate;

The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted;

The person having the greatest Number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President.

The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President, shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed, and if no person have a majority, then from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

Amendment 13 - Slavery Abolished. Ratified 12/6/1865. History

1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 14 - Citizenship Rights. Ratified 7/9/1868. Note History

1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

2. Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice-President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such State.

3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Amendment 15 - Race No Bar to Vote. Ratified 2/3/1870. History

1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 16 - Status of Income Tax Clarified. Ratified 2/3/1913. Note History

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.

Amendment 17 - Senators Elected by Popular Vote. Ratified 4/8/1913. History

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, elected by the people thereof, for six years; and each Senator shall have one vote. The electors in each State shall have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the State legislatures.

When vacancies happen in the representation of any State in the Senate, the executive authority of such State shall issue writs of election to fill such vacancies: Provided, That the legislature of any State may empower the executive thereof to make temporary appointments until the people fill the vacancies by election as the legislature may direct.

This amendment shall not be so construed as to affect the election or term of any Senator chosen before it becomes valid as part of the Constitution.

Amendment 18 - Liquor Abolished. Ratified 1/16/1919. Repealed by Amendment 21, 12/5/1933. History

1. After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited.

2. The Congress and the several States shall have concurrent power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

3. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Amendment 19 - Women's Suffrage. Ratified 8/18/1920. History

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 20 - Presidential, Congressional Terms. Ratified 1/23/1933. History

1. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin.

2. The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, and such meeting shall begin at noon on the 3d day of January, unless they shall by law appoint a different day.

3. If, at the time fixed for the beginning of the term of the President, the President elect shall have died, the Vice President elect shall become President. If a President shall not have been chosen before the time fixed for the beginning of his term, or if the President elect shall have failed to qualify, then the Vice President elect shall act as President until a President shall have qualified; and the Congress may by law provide for the case wherein neither a President elect nor a Vice President elect shall have qualified, declaring who shall then act as President, or the manner in which one who is to act shall be selected, and such person shall act accordingly until a President or Vice President shall have qualified.

4. The Congress may by law provide for the case of the death of any of the persons from whom the House of Representatives may choose a President whenever the right of choice shall have devolved upon them, and for the case of the death of any of the persons from whom the Senate may choose a Vice President whenever the right of choice shall have devolved upon them.

5. Sections 1 and 2 shall take effect on the 15th day of October following the ratification of this article.

6. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission.

Amendment 21 - Amendment 18 Repealed. Ratified 12/5/1933. History

1. The eighteenth article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed.

2. The transportation or importation into any State, Territory, or possession of the United States for delivery or use therein of intoxicating liquors, in violation of the laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.

3. The article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by conventions in the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Amendment 22 - Presidential Term Limits. Ratified 2/27/1951. History

1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. But this Article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President, when this Article was proposed by the Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this Article becomes operative from holding the office of President or acting as President during the remainder of such term.

2. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission to the States by the Congress.

Amendment 23 - Presidential Vote for District of Columbia. Ratified 3/29/1961. History

1. The District constituting the seat of Government of the United States shall appoint in such manner as the Congress may direct: A number of electors of President and Vice President equal to the whole number of Senators and Representatives in Congress to which the District would be entitled if it were a State, but in no event more than the least populous State; they shall be in addition to those appointed by the States, but they shall be considered, for the purposes of the election of President and Vice President, to be electors appointed by a State; and they shall meet in the District and perform such duties as provided by the twelfth article of amendment.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 24 - Poll Tax Barred. Ratified 1/23/1964. History

1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 25 - Presidential Disability and Succession. Ratified 2/10/1967. Note History

1. In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President.

2. Whenever there is a vacancy in the office of the Vice President, the President shall nominate a Vice President who shall take office upon confirmation by a majority vote of both Houses of Congress.

3. Whenever the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that he is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, and until he transmits to them a written declaration to the contrary, such powers and duties shall be discharged by the Vice President as Acting President.

4. Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

Thereafter, when the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that no inability exists, he shall resume the powers and duties of his office unless the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive department or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit within four days to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shall decide the issue, assembling within forty eight hours for that purpose if not in session. If the Congress, within twenty one days after receipt of the latter written declaration, or, if Congress is not in session, within twenty one days after Congress is required to assemble, determines by two thirds vote of both Houses that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall continue to discharge the same as Acting President; otherwise, the President shall resume the powers and duties of his office.

Amendment 26 - Voting Age Set to 18 Years. Ratified 7/1/1971. History

1. The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 27 - Limiting Changes to Congressional Pay. Ratified 5/7/1992. History

No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of Representatives shall have intervened.

nstitution for the United States of America.

Article I - The Legislative Branch Note

Section 1 - The Legislature

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section 2 - The House

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

(Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.) (The previous sentence in parentheses was modified by the 14th Amendment, section 2.) The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section 3 - The Senate

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, (chosen by the Legislature thereof,) (The preceding words in parentheses superseded by 17th Amendment, section 1.) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; (and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 17th Amendment, section 2.)

No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

submitted by

backeral - The technical term for a fish which has landed on someone's back.

e.g., As I was slapping people around a bit with a large trout, it slipped out of my hands and soon became a backeral across three people.

submitted by PPM - (www)

backhanded compliment - A disguised insult. Lefthanded compliment, asteism. | "A compliment that also insults or puts down at the same time. | Back-handed is synonymous with left-handed. For example in tennis, a backhand stroke is a strike by a right-handed player from the left side of the body. | The left side of the body has always been deemed sinister. The Latin word for left is sinister. Hence, back-handed means round-about, indirect, or devious." (

e.g., You don't sweat much for a fat girl. | "Obama also paid the Republican presidential nominee-in-waiting a backhanded compliment. 'Either Democrat would be better than John McCain,' he told an audience in Reading. 'And all three of us would be better than George Bush.'"

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

backlist - To back to an earlier part of a conversation and repeat that part.

e.g., Backlist for a minute. What about Jenny?

submitted by Daniel Wahe

backne - Street slang for acne on one's back and shoulders.

e.g., When this guy took off his shirt at the swimming pool, you could see he had major backne. All over the place, from his neck to...heck.

submitted by LeeAnne, Mike R. MacKenzie

backognize - To recognize from behind; to correctly identify someone, having only seen her back.

e.g., I backognized Richard Simmons on Broadway the other day.

submitted by Anna

backronym - A word interpreted as an acronym that was not originally so intended.

e.g., My friend invented a backronym for "Acme" products. He told me it stood for "A Company Making Everything."

submitted by Brendan Brown

backseatwards - The direction you face when you sit in a station wagon's very back seat.

e.g., Aww, Ma, you know I get nauseated when I sit backseatwards.

submitted by Cree Weber

backup-generator - A low-fiber diet.

e.g., Little did I know that eliminating fiber from my diet would be a backup-generator.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

backupuncture - A catupuncture catjustment on one's back, usually unscheduled and occurring randomly over the course of nighttime somnambulence.

e.g., Garfield, thanks so much for the backupuncture treatment; I feel so much better now.

submitted by george kelly

backupuncture - Getting acupuncture in or on or for the bad back. {Diplicate.}

e.g., "I'm going to go to get some backupuncture today." "Goin' to Chris's office down on Main?" "Of course not. He's the one who caused the problem when he put one of his karate moves on me."

submitted by cheryl riddle - (www)

backwallers - Those who are paranoid that people will look over their shoulder while they do something. They try everything in their power to sit with their backs to a wall or other large, opaque object, so that no one can walk up to them from behind and they can see everyone else. Comes from "back to the wall."

e.g., She's such a backwaller that she refuses to sit anywhere in the class besides the corner.

submitted by Aurora

backwords - Words and sentences that are spelled the same backwards and forwards. Palindromes.

e.g., Is it true that "Able was I ere I saw Elba" is a backwords said by Napoleon?

submitted by JJ

bacn - Not quite spam, this is stuff you asked for but may never bother taking the time to read. | E-mail you want, but not right now.  

© Michael Quinion, 25 August 2007 Newsletter Bacn (pronounced "bacon" and a creative misspelling along the lines of site names like Flickr) lies between e-mail and spam; it's all that stuff you do want but which is low-priority and which you often don't have time to read. … Don’t bother learning [the word]; it doesn’t have the feel of a stayer.

e.g., Why in the name of God are you signing up for all those newsletters and e-mail alerts? All you're going to get is bacn that you'll never get around to reading. You might as well put your e-mail address all over the Internet for spammers to harvest.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

bacn addict - People addicted to bacn and forwarding e-mails. For the ytpo-prone: bacb addict.

e.g., The bacn-addict phenomenon is easy to understand. You're mostly talking about shut-ins and older folks (geezers and geezerettes) who don't get have that much live human contact outside their immediate families (or caregivers, in some cases) these days. It's the cyberspace equivalent of gossiping across the backyard fence.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

bacne - Acne covering a person's back.

e.g., She shouldn't be wearing that shirt with her bacne.

submitted by mindyb0b

bacon bit - Derogatory term for a security guard.

e.g., The mall bacon bits are too afraid of the gangs to try to stop them.

submitted by Crossbow

bacon cruiser - Police car.

e.g., Don't speed through that section of the highway. There's usually a bacon cruiser under the bridge.

submitted by Crossbow

bacon force - A cry of encouragement to hog butchers. "Keep up the good work," "You're doing a good joba" A corruption of "back and forth."

e.g., In the pig slaughter houses of Quebec it is not uncommon to hear "Bacon force, mes jolis jeunes hommes."

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

baconhammer - A Canadian -- from the fact that Canadian bacon is really just ham.

e.g., Generally, nobody has a problem with baconhammers, but people like Celine Dion are an exception.

submitted by Maniac Clown - (www)

bacotone - (n.) (BAY-ko-tohn) The area on a plate at which two different food items, dishes, etc., meet each other and generally mingle into a random, but often delicious, mess. (Etymology: bacon + ecotone [the intersection of two ecosystems].)

e.g., Despite nagging comments from his mother, Frank refused to tuck into the bacotone between his creamed chipped beef and mashed Brussels sprouts, on account that it appeared to have mutated into something living.

submitted by Mirakle B. - (www)

bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria.

e.g., Use da bacteria.

submitted by lee runski

bad - Mistake. | Extremely good, awesome. Excellent, spectacular, full of good qualities.

e.g., Sorry, my bad. | That's one bad car you've got there.

submitted by SM | dank

bad before breakfast - Someone who has street cred. A savvy person. Hardcore cool.

e.g., Chris: What do you mean I ain't cool? I'm bad before breakfast. Bernard: Anybody gots to say it...ain't.

submitted by ade

bad gouges - Bad information. Sailor slang.

e.g., He said the report was “based on ‘bad gouges,’ as a sailor would say -- bad information.”

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

bad hair day - A day when everything goes wrong--except for the hair on the left of your part.

e.g., I had a nightmare last night that I was Don King. I think I'm in for a bad hair day.

submitted by Nigel

bad idea jeans - Metaphorical article of clothing that results in the wearer exhibiting spectacularly bad judgment. From Saturday Night Live.

e.g., I can't believe I went home with Butch last night. I must have been wearing bad idea jeans.

submitted by nukegirl - (www)

bad larry - Impresive.

e.g., That's one bad larry of a website. Look at the size of that bad Larry! It's like an orange on a toothpick.

submitted by betatone - (www)

bad larry - A half-finished beer whose drinker has given up on it and is free for consumption.

e.g., Kenny's a lightweight; he left me another bad larry.

submitted by james c

bad news on a tuesday - The most utterly terrible thing on any day of the week.

e.g., He slept with her brother's cousin's best friend's godfather's sister-in-law? That's bad news on a Tuesday.

submitted by Misako Kairo

bad scoobies - Bad idea, bad thing might result from doing so.

e.g., I just drove home in a two-wheel drive car--bad scoobies

submitted by Twinvega

bad toad - Bad boy.

e.g., Pass one of those bad toads over here.

submitted by Andrew Katsikas

bad verses - (n.) a pretext (or post-text) for some otherwise unjustifiable action, especially when one's original idea founders. (From Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Act III.iii, wherein Cinna the Poet is mistaken for Cinna the conspirator, and the mob begins shrieking "tear him to pieces!" Cinna desperately calls out, "I am Cinna the poet ... Cinna the poet!" With hardly a pause, the mob cries "Tear him for his bad verses!" Just so that they have a pretext for "tearing the man.") First Citizen Tear him to pieces; he's a conspirator. CINNA THE POET I am Cinna the poet, I am Cinna the poet. Fourth Citizen Tear him for his bad verses, tear him for his bad verses.

e.g., "Could I have a turkey sandwich and some chips, please." "What?! This isn't fast food, man; it's an ER!" "Well, bad verses! So point me to your cafeteria, or one of those sandwich vending machines."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

bad wheel - Injured or sore foot or ankle

e.g., You look like you're limping a little. Bad wheel?

submitted by Dan D

bad-lib - Changing what was going to be a curse word into an acceptable word right before saying it.

e.g., Realizing she was in church when she stubbed her toe, Susan quickly bad-libbed and said "Oh, sugar."

submitted by Harold R. McPhillips

bada bing - The expression may have been popularized by The Sopranos, but it was also used by Sonny Corleone (James Caan) in The Godfather.  

Ask Oxford | New Words: (also bada bing bada boom)  
N. Amer. informal used to emphasize that something will happen effortlessly and predictably: follow the appropriate twelve-step program and -- bada bing -- you're rolling in it.  
- ORIGIN probably imitating the sound of a drum roll; popularized by the US television series The Sopranos.

e.g., "Imagine a band with the Andrews Sisters trading lead vocals with Commander Cody; Stephane Grappelli trading solos with Louis Armstrong … [bada bing] you get the picture."

submitted by HD Fowler

badadas - Potatoes, as pronounced by some Canadians and perhaps some New Englanders.

e.g., For breakfast I sometimes have fried badadas and Canadian bacon.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

badagi - Anything that's fat and blubbery, usually used in context of describing a person: a tease used among friends and family. The g is pronounced like a q but from the throat, basically the Arabic equivalent of qaaf.

e.g., Kyle has muscles, except they're on the bottom. Oh, you mean this bataqi stuff. *grabs hold of jiggling triceps*

submitted by rukia

badakalistical - Having qualities beyond the usual adjectives, possessing qualities of multiple positive adjectives.

e.g., The preview shots of _The Matrix_ sequel in Cinefantastique are badakalistical.

submitted by Jason Alan Ramos - (www)

badass - Something or someone just too good for her own good.

e.g., I wouldn't wanna mess with badass Chuck Norris.

submitted by steve

badassery - An act or series of acts that illustrates how tough, hard, or fearless a person is.

e.g., Anyone who wants to pick a fight with Tree should know that she's in for some serious badassery.

submitted by ad - (www)

badcter - The nectar of an enraged badger used as a common ointment; a person who cannot act.

e.g., Bob was a badcter when he bumbled all the lines.

submitted by Squackle! - (www)

baddo - An exclamation of surprise or joy, derived at age 6 from playground banter during the height of the word "bad" meaning "good" ... circa 1982.

e.g., I can pop a wheelie -- baddo. "Obi-Wan has a blue lightsaber, that's baddo."

submitted by BigJ7489

badge - (v) To be an off-duty police officer and flash one's badge to get out of a traffic ticket.

e.g., I got pulled over last night, but I just badged 'em and got off.

submitted by garth - (www)

badge bunny - One who dates police officers or one who predominantly dates police officers. To hop from cop to cop.

e.g., Chris is a badge bunny. She's hopped so many cops that she thinks she is untouchable. Well, untouchable by the law even though she's definitlely not untouchable by officers of the law.

submitted by Kimberly Gagon

badgernomics - Badgernomics is the very individual and particular study of the statistical likelihood of being attacked by a rabid badger on any given day in any given location.

e.g., Daniel Short considered taking his new kite out on Hitchin recreation ground to get some gnarly air time. Being a particularly intelligent chap, he decided to call Joseph from the North Hertfordshire Badgernomics Forum to find out if he should be worried about a frenzied, TB riddled badger attack. Joseph allayed his fears by stating Daniel had a 0.6% chance of being attacked.

submitted by Joe Grice

badgertronic - In the uncertain event that a badger would ever need surgery to implant sound and hearing enhancements or a voicebox, then the resulting electronic implant would be said to be badgertronic.

e.g., Dorothy would never be able to put her pet badger down. She decided to see the badgertronic specialist about the possibility of getting a pacemaker fitted.

submitted by Joe Grice

badical - Bad and radical. Often used as an adjective to describe something so awesome that it's beyond bad or radical.

e.g., The Oreo package sported the Dallas Cowboys and Robby shouted, "How badical is that?"

submitted by Robin J.

badify - To take something that is already terribly "bad" and make it worse.

e.g., I have been badified by "The Angel of Death."

submitted by Andrew

baditude - Badittude. Bad attitude. | Bad attitude. |A good attitude. Composed of "bad" in the sense of good, plus the "-itude" part of "attitude." | bad attitude

e.g., Chris is a jerk; he has a real badittude. | The new guy has a baditude. | I don't care what anyone says, I love your baditude. "With that baditude, she'll do fine here." | My brother had a battitude in the morning when I woke him up.

submitted by Maggie McF | Anthony R G | Wayne H | cea

badonkadonk - A "larger" female bottom. Donk, donky.

e.g., No doubt about it, J Lo's got badonkadonk.

submitted by awol

badookadunk - A phat ass.

e.g., James: "Mark, look at that badookadunk." Mark: "You're right. She's got a nice ass."

submitted by dee - (www)

badoonka - Longish drum roll played on high-tuned tom-toms, usually at the beginning of a bombastic bridge in a Heavy Metal or Adult Contemporary song.

e.g., Bert: Ernie, do you remember the notation for scoring a badoonka?

submitted by Eugene Hopstetter, Jr. - (www)

badow - Usually used in excitement. When you win something such as a bet.

e.g., (Josh just proved Tony wrong) Josh: Badow!

submitted by Joshua - (www)

badunkadunk - The black gang word for Butt

e.g., Look at that budunkadunk

submitted by Kory

badvertising - Stupid ways some people try to promote their products.

e.g., The tire store was having a "BLOW OUT SALE." That's what I call badvertising.

submitted by Norm De'Pleum

bafflegab - Meaningless talk, often meant to impress the ignorant or conceal the truth.

e.g., His sales-pitch was pure bafflegab.

submitted by RobA

bafflegarb - What English politicians use to smear over an important issue. They baffle us with garbage.

e.g., You can find bafflegarb coming out of the mouths of politicians every day.

submitted by Robb

bag - Of a slightly promiscuous person, one still endearing in a nasty sort of way.

e.g., No doubt about it, Tracy is definitely bag.

submitted by Seth

bag fries - The french fries that fall out of the individual containers and collect at the bottom of the larger bag.

e.g., A: I call bag fries! B: No way, I drove here, and driver always gets bag fries. It's a rule common to all civilized nations.

submitted by Carlos Coutinho

bag of oranges - A weapon that will leave bruises but won't do serious damage. A bag of oranges was used in The Grifters (1990) by Pat Hingle's character, Bobo Justus, to beat the hell out of Anjelica Huston's character, Lilly Dillon. Ms. Huston took a licking but kept on ticking -- and was nominated for an Academy Award for her efforts.


Quoting A reader caught The New York Times at this practice in its 5 May 1993 edition and used Orwell's "Politics and the English Language" as the bag of oranges for the beatdown.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

bag of spanners - really ugly

e.g., She has a face like a bag of spanners

submitted by lez

bagatelle - French idiom for a trifle.

e.g., Barry Bonds winning a 6th MVP award is a mere bagatelle compared to a World Series pennant.

submitted by Joel Parker

bagden - A slum, or a area that smells bad, a trash dump, an area or a place that smells bad, or is frequented by "bad company."

e.g., Chris lives in a bagden. But anyplace Chris is found is by definition a bagden.

submitted by Lukas Friga

bagel - A Jewish breed of dog, similar to the American beagle but reqiring a much stricter diet.

e.g., The Goldsteins were suprised by how much they were spending on lox and cream cheese to feed their new bagel.

submitted by Wells P. Martin - (www)

bagel-logic - Circular logic with a big hole in the middle, aka donut logic.

e.g., Emanuel Kant is an expert in the use of bagel-logic.

submitted by marc

bageling - Either eating a bagel OR something really really cool.

e.g., Those shoes are bageling.

submitted by Adrian Redburn

bagels - Used instead of cursing.

e.g., 1. Holy bagels! 2. Oh, my bagels.

submitted by Christa

baggapple - Used when you stub your toe or hurt yourself. Scream this in place of a curse word.

e.g., Baggapple, I just hurt my finger hammering.

submitted by Amber

baggety-bagged - A state of extreme tiredness. Even more tired than being plain old "bagged."

e.g., I really want to stay up and finish this book tonight but I'm just too baggety-bagged.

submitted by amanda - (www)

bagina - A conditon with symptoms similar to angina. but for the lower digestive tract.

e.g., I ate something really spicy last night, and this morning I was doubled over with severe bagina.

submitted by rut

baglet - A young bag; a repulsive and exceedingly unpleasant young woman.

e.g., Without warning, the rancid baglet opposite me made a noise like a demented hoover, and brought up a lump of phlegm.

submitted by Martin Widdicombe

bagmata - The red marks you get on the palms of your hands from carrying heavy plastic bags.

e.g., "I carried these heavy bags of groceries all the way out to the car. Now I've got bagmata."

submitted by wm. david muskeyn - (www)

bagonize - The agony you experience as you wait for your bag to come down the carousel in the luggage pick-up area of an airport.

e.g., Where is my generic black bag that looks like everyone else's? I can't bear this bagonizing.

submitted by hollyh

bagowet - A sandwich made soggy by too moist a filling -- a "bag o' wet." From the French "baguette."

e.g., Avoid overdoing the tomato in a BLT, or you get a bagowet.

submitted by rayg - (www)

bags-not - It is the antithesis of bags. (I claim that as mine.) Used in situations opposite to where you would use bags. Is this an Australia thing only?

e.g., Jill: Lets play video games. Mary: I bags the analog controller. Mum: Someone better wash-up first. Mary: Bags-not (Now Jill has to do the washing up) These rules can be upheld strenuously in shared-house situations. Is this an Australia thing only?

submitted by Tim

bagular - Of or like a bag (sack).

e.g., After I dropped my lunch, the bag was not very bagular anymore. It was all flat.

submitted by dplass

bah - a word used to describe when something is bad

e.g., Bah! My hair looks horrible today!

submitted by claire

bahooba - A person, often of the female persuasion, of particularly large size.

e.g., Did you check out the bahooba at the cookout last night?

submitted by Samantha D

bahoozle - Jerk, fool, moron-- an irritating person

e.g., That bahoozle just took my parking space.

submitted by Kevin Kelm - (www)

bahut rubles - A lot of money.

e.g., These Superbowl tickets cost bahut rubles.

submitted by John S. Duckering

baikonur - (Pronounced by-co-NOOR; n.) 1. The "launching pad" stage of life, when the kids are grown, getting married (or not), and leaving home; 2. The home or apartment from which the kids are "flying" to start their own adult lives; 3. Your own home when you get the oddly displaced sort of feeling that comes from sitting in or passing a room no longer filled with a child's presence, although frequently still occupied by the child's stuff. [From the Soviet Union's "Baikonur Cosmodrome," the launch site from which their rockets departed for space: once a state secret redolent with the feverish intensity of the Space Race and the Cold War, now little more than an empty bunch of ruinous buildings and rusted superstructures.]

e.g., "My grandchildren are coming to stay with us." "Well, that's great!... isn't it? I mean, it happens quite a lot these days." "Yeah, I guess, but I was just settling into to Baikonur; I'm not supposed to be handling new arrivals any longer." "Be careful or you might end up like me: two grown children living in my basement."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

bailing betty - One who deserts, leaves, or bails out when the going gets tough, whether it be in a marriage or another life situation.

e.g., People must learn to recognize the Bailing Betty, and maybe even devise a simple test to recognize one; otherwise, they might get caught by surprise after marrying one and end up losing almost everything they have.

submitted by Adrian R. Lawler

bailski - 1. To leave somewhere you don't want to be. 2. To take a major fall.

e.g., 1. This is boring. Let's bailski. 2. He took a harsh bailski.

submitted by Tyrone

baint - The worst most vile, gross thing you can possibly imagine.

e.g., Ugh...did you see that?That was baint.

submitted by Sean V

bairn - Scottish expression: a small child.

e.g., I haven't been back to Scotland since I was but a wee bairn.

submitted by Stephen Mize

baish - A common derogatory term used often by men who do not wish to offend anyone by saying the word "bitch." Essentially, bitch tofu.

e.g., Why didn't she give me my money? Stoopid baish.

submitted by Robert Russo

bait shop - 1. A place or gathering where there are many people to whom you are physically attracted. However, you will only be thwarted in all attempts to convince any of these people into a physical relationship. Consequently you will return home alone and fantasize about the people. 2. A strip club or a Hooter's restaurant.

e.g., Dianne: Lets go to that beach with all of the hot guys. Mary: That's just a bait shop, all those guys are gay. Billy: That sorority PapaMikeSierra is having a party! Jack: Unless you are a frat-boy with a Porsche, it's a bait shop.

submitted by Billy Bob Jack

baja - To go over hills or dunes of sand at high speeds.

e.g., That car is baja-ing like crazy.

submitted by nohner - (www)

bajingo - Vagina, as used by Dr. Elliott Reed on Scrubs.

e.g., Yeah, we're going to the performing arts centre this evening -- forThe Bajingo Monologues, I think.

submitted by beelzebub - (www)

baka - Stupid, idiotic, foolish. A stupid or foolish person. From the Japanese "baka," or foolish. Used mainly for comedic effect.

e.g., My little brother is a baka.

submitted by Juunana no Onna - (www)

bakes - Baked french fries, often from a school cafeteria.

e.g., Ryan: Jessica, gimmie some of your bakes. Jessica: Only if you go get me some ketchup.

submitted by Lauren walsensmictzensiegleheimer - (www)

bakin' - Used to describe something particularly good. Stems from the notion of prolonged application of heat to something "cool" until it becomes "hot."

e.g., Most Vin Diesel movies are bakin', but _Knockaround Guys_ sat on the shelf for two years after it was completed. Guess why?

submitted by dodge

baking donuts - To go out and make money. Going to work. Earn your living with a job. Taken from Mark Leyner's novel Et Tu Babe."

e.g., Q: What you doing tonight? A: Bakin' donuts.

submitted by Sony

balanced diet - Offsetting one's drinking habits with a comparable amount of junk food.

e.g., His idea of a balanced die, was a six-pack of beer and half a dozen moon pies.

submitted by Steve McDonald

balbarasandonomometer - Rated measure of how hairy a person is, usually rated between 0 (hairless) to 10 ("werewolf" syndrome).

e.g., Scott R's balbarasandonomometer rating: 10 out of 10.

submitted by Scott R.

bald hair day - A day when nothing goes at all, except your hair. See bad hair day.

e.g., I've been tearing my hair out all week--and now I am having a bald hair day.

submitted by Nigel

balding permit - This permit enables the bearer to lose his hair with dignity and, furthermore, to embrace his oncoming status of being follicly challenged. Suitable for framing and presentation as a gift, it reads: "Be it known by these presents, and this gift, that the bearer may look forward to never having his ear nicked by another careless barber, never paying another red cent for styling gel or other greasy kid-stuff, never giving a rat's hiney if his hair is combed, and knowing for certain that Somebody Up There loves him, that the very hairs of his head are numbered...and that number is ZERO!"

e.g., "Hey, Dad, we didn't know what to we gotcha, balding permit (tee-hee)...thought you'd get a kick...hey Dad, don't cry, man!"

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

baldrics - The science of cunning plans.

e.g., Blackadder was a great believer in baldrics.

submitted by April 23rd

baldwin - A really good looking guy.

e.g., The new guy in my math class is a Baldwin.

submitted by Patti

baleeted - Deleted, from

e.g., He baleeted the file from his computer.

submitted by Kevin Africa

bali bo bo - Anything or anyone that is essentially crappy or fake. Kind of like a Tag Heuer watch or Billabong t-shirt from Bali which falls apart as soon as you get home.

e.g., What did I think of his gift? Bali bo bo.

submitted by carly george

ball-bearing mousetrap - A tomcat.

e.g., A ball-bearing mousetrap doesn't need to be re-set, baited, or emptied.

submitted by Steve McDonald

ball-breaker - Pushy, irritating, or just plain bothersome. Said especially of a female boss.

e.g., My boss is really being a ball-breaker today.

submitted by Rui

ball-point blob - (also BP & BPB; n.) One of those really obnoxious blots of ink that ball-point pens produce sometimes, that leave blotches on your paper as you write and turn into a variety of ugly streaks when your hand rubs over them as you continue writing or when you try to remove the original blot. BPBs sometimes make me wish for simpler times when I had to pluck a goose to write anything and carry around ink and sand.

e.g., "What's that word? It looks like 'blossom'---wait, 'Kansas was once covered by huge herds of blossoms'?!" "It's 'bison.'" "It says 'blossom.'" "No, that was a ball-point blob." "It's a bad one, but the blob is above 'blossom'---I mean 'bison.' Right there, in the line above, where it says 'plaips.'" "It's 'plains'; I noticed I hadn't dotted the i." "Oh, and when you dotted it, the blob came off the pen, and---" "Yeah: I tried to wipe it off." "And now the plaips of the Midwest were covered with huge herds of blossoms."

submitted by scott m. ellsworth

ballbuster - Ball-buster. What you call it when your foot slips off the pedal when you're riding your bicycle and your crotch area falls against the top tube between the seat post & tub and the head tube. | Real word: "A demanding woman who destroys men's confidence." Ball-breaker.

e.g., I think I was about ten years old when I experienced my first ballbuster. I came close to puking. | Hank hooked up with Myrtle a few times and thought she was very good between the sheets. But it didn't take very long for him to tire of her. She acted as if she thought since she was a good piece of tail she owned him. All kinds of chicks were always chasing Hank. He didn't have to put up with crap from some ballbuster.

submitted by HD Fowler

baller - One who is at the top of her game. | A person who has a lot of money or material possesions.

e.g., Look at the ride he drove up in, the baller.

submitted by Bodi

ballerino - A male ballet dancer.

e.g., Ballerinos are usually very flexible.

submitted by Jamie

ballerness - Good at sports.

e.g., Jessica attributed her ballerness at shooting to her practice on the neighbors' basketball hoop.

submitted by Tanner Vollmer

ballfaced - Bald-faced -- which is often misspelled as bold-faced.

e.g., " Hillary Clinton is a liar -- a ballfaced liar. The unprincipled ... witch needs to be held accountable for what she has done.

submitted by Lillith

ballhitow - Used in golf when someone is hit in the head by a golf ball by another player.

e.g., I was golfing yesterday, and I got ballhitow.

submitted by Angel

ballin - One who is on his way to being on top of her game; also one already on top of her game. Used in conjunction with baller.

e.g., I am ballin, baby.

submitted by Nhamo

ballin' - Cool, lookin' good.

e.g., That outfit is ballin', Marcie.

submitted by kylie reed

ballinct - To wander off and explore without intentions to.

e.g., The little girl decided to bllinct around the classroom because the lesson was so boring.

submitted by yasmin - (www)

balling - Walking quickly with no intention of stopping to chat.

e.g., Look at him balling down the hall like he's got some place to go.

submitted by J Emig

ballitician - An adjective used to describe a person who is half baller and half politician. Or a person who can make nice with the ladies but also has some right ideas. See: Bill Clinton. Sometimes "ballotician."

e.g., Chris is neck deep in ladies and still has the time to kick it with his peeps. What a ballitician.

submitted by eric

balljazz - The odourous sticky brown crap picked off the rollers when you've finally decided that it's high time to clean your mouse cos you can't click straight. Although its chemical makeup remains a mystery despite billions of dollars being poured into analysis in Silicon Valley, it is believed to be non-toxic and edible.

e.g., I've got anough balljazz here to stuff a pillow.

submitted by pyeman - (www)

balloon-head - Someone with an overinflated ego, a fathead.

e.g., Hey, balloon-head, Noah built the ark, not Moses.

submitted by THE BEAR

balloonistic - Ego over-inflated to the point of becoming airborne.

e.g., When Bill Gates defied congress, he really went balloonistic.

submitted by thierry

ballooniumism - Common term for someone who has the rounded features of a balloon. Usally said with shocked tones.

e.g., Oh, my God. I think your coming down with ballooniumism.

submitted by Rouge

ballpark accurate - More or less accurate, plus or minus quite a few standard deviations.

e.g., It will affect a million customers-- but that's only ballpark accurate.

submitted by Mark O'Meara - (www)

ballroom dancing - For men, any kind of dancing, when wearing loose pants or underwear.

e.g., Tired of feeling constricted on the dance floor, John decided that ballroom dancing was his best option.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

balls - It's an old wives' tale that testicles can be used to measure hot temperatures to within a few degrees. "Hot as balls" is around 100 degrees Fahrenheit; "hotter than balls" is anything hotter. (See "witch's tit.") | From "In the form that my dear friend Sarah presents it in, the phrase means good looking. Not just your every day handsome boy, but drop dead gorgeous. They simply do not get hotter than 'hot as balls.'"

e.g., South Carolina in the summer is hotter than balls.

submitted by Nick Dunn - (www)

balls out - At maximum possible speed. From operation of a mechanical governor on a steam engine, where a shaft spun two opposing balls. When maximum speed was set, the balls rotated in their greatest radius.

Dave Wilton | balls to the wall There are two common misconceptions about the phrase. The first is that it is a reference to a part of the male anatomy.

The second is that it arose in railroad work. A speed governor on train engines would have round, metal weights at the end of arms. As the speed increased, the spinning balls would rise -- being perpendicular to the walls at maximum speed. But there is no evidence to support either of these two stories. No use of the phrase is known to exist prior to the mid-1960s, and all the early cites are from military aviation.

(ED. Slang god Johathan Lighter disagrees with Wilton's derivation.)

e.g., We're so late on delivering on the Hiphip Project we need to go balls out -- so we'll start with an all-nighter. (ED. Any ideas on the etymology of "balls to the wall," which means essentially the same?)

submitted by Wayne Hagood - (www)

balls to the wall - At full speed. Early jet-age expression referring to the bakelite balls on the top of a aircraft throttle. To push the same towards the firewall of the aircraft and go at maximum speed. (ED. Slang god Johathan Lighter disagrees with this derivation.)

e.g., We needed to make up time on the red-eye to LAX so we went balls to the wall from Phoenix onwards.

submitted by Stephen Mize - (www)

bally - You can place it almost anywhere in a sentence for emphasis.

e.g., That movie was abso-bally-loutely amazing! OR That leaf is bally weird!

submitted by Lily

balmuto - Old.

e.g., Of course that Rembrandt is balmuto. He's been dead for centuries.

submitted by aldwin oliveros

balogna-way - Describing the feeling of being very impressed with a delicatessen's selection of cold-cuts.

e.g., I couldn't believe how many different kinds of cold-cuts stocked at the corner deli. balogna-way.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

baloney merchant - A liar. It could be a pathological liar or a compulsive liar, or just someone who lies for amusement without really trying to deceive. You'll probably encounter one of these sooner or later on the internet.

e.g., Oh, you're from Russia, huh? I smell baloney, you baloney merchant.

submitted by George Edward Purdy - (www)

balonium - Complete rubbish; irredeemable nonsense. Used mainly to refer to a piece of written or spoken information, especially of a scientific bent. From "baloney," a new element is aborning.

e.g., That speech may have sounded good, but in truth is was nothing but ultra-refined weapons-grade balonium.

submitted by Enigma

baltic - Sarcastic phrase you'd use in your local curry establishment to describe a cold curry.

e.g., "Oi, mate, this curry you've just served up is Baltic. Can you ask the chef to heat it up for me."

submitted by Lee Hickman

bam! - A word used to excite someone or throw her off guard. Comes from the TV show In Living Color<.em>.

e.g., Check out this demo tape and … BAM! We got it going on.

submitted by timon

bambic - Naive -- especially because of youth.

e.g., Bambi exhibited bambic behavior by calling the skunk "Flower."

submitted by Wendell Wilson - (www)

bambient - Venison from the wild.

e.g., I thought that the venison tasted as if it were from a game farm, but the waiter assured me that it was bambient.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

bamble - To go on on about something without quite getting to the point. {Duplicate.}

e.g., Stop bambling, Jeff. Just get to the point

submitted by chiaralopilato - (www)

bamble - A bastardization of "ramble" and "blither": talking without focus or purpose, usually resulting in the boredom of those listening.

e.g., HD's a lovely guy, but I just tune out when he starts to bamble.

submitted by Miranda

bamboobled - Unable to look into a woman's eyes when speaking with her due to fascination with her chest area.

e.g., She noticed that he was bamboobled and not listening to what she was saying.

submitted by Kimi

bambosol - like when you go somewhere and you did not have fun are was weak its bambosol

e.g., that party we went to was bambosol

submitted by ciara

bambulance - Medical emergency vehicle involved in its own accident while en route to the scene of another accident.

e.g., "Hello. This is 911. State your emergency." "We're gonna need two ambulances. One for that accident at Hollywood and Vine that you dispatched an ambulance for about 10 minutes ago? Well, they had a wreck at Franklin and Vine, under 101. So we've got a bambulance there with two injuries."

submitted by sac|awol

bamma - Common word used in the DC Metro area for somneone who is not cool.

e.g., Ed. What in the world is Shakata doing? Red: He's a bamma. What'd you expect?

submitted by John (Shakata)Harmon

bammer - Terrible, broke-looking, old, shabby.

e.g., I'm glad you finally got a car, but that one's bammer.

submitted by Blake

bamming - Amazing, increadible, highly interesting and different from the rest.

e.g., Did you see that bamming painting?

submitted by megan

bamoose - A large, hoofed mammal used for control of crowds or quelling of riotous behavior.

e.g., The bamoose is keeping the island quiet.

submitted by Petro

bamshmer - An inside term to refer to attractive girls without being obvious. Came from people trying to say the word "pussy" as distorted as humanly possible, and that was the one that was so far removed it made people laugh.

e.g., There's some good bamshmer over there.

submitted by George Edward Purdy

ban - To get hit really hard, especially by a car, train, or other vehicle.

e.g., Flyers center Eric Lindros got banned by New Jersey defenseman Scott Stevens and he didn't recover for nearly six months.

submitted by ditnis

banal retentive - The state of being absorbed in depressingly common trivia.

e.g., After correcting 35 essays on "what I did last summer," the substitute school teacher realized that he was becoming banal retentive and needed to go out with friends for some uplifting companionship.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

banalysis - Combinaton of the words "banal" and "analysis. "Banalysis" is explanation of the obvious, usually in a manner of presumed importance. For example, if someone tells you stocks are rising because investors are buying, that's banalysis.

e.g., Cory's going to present some more banalysis at the meeting on Tuesday.

submitted by Andrew Morse - (www)

banana - Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody|Anyone, which is much stronger than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard). I first saw this in an article in The Economist. The piece was about California and its electricity supply problems, and included the pertinent observation that no new power stations were being planned there, let alone built. The reason? Its citizens and lobby groups have prevented such developments.

e.g., California has become a BANANA state.

submitted by Eddie Vaughan - (www)

banana and cheese girl - No longer any idea where I saw a reference to "[a | the] banana and cheese girl." Not much help doing searches. Maybe a little girl who's a fan of the Banana and Cheese cat stories? Maybe a "girl" who's on a banana and cheese diet or one who likes banana and cheese sandwiches? If it's rude language of some sort, I haven't a clue. Maybe I fed my wife banana and cheese and thought of it on my own.

e.g., No matter how old we get, I'll always think of you as my banana and cheese girl.

submitted by HD Fowler

banana fritters - Slang for frustrated. Comes from my friend's saying "frustitated" and me for some reason thinking banana fritters every time she said it.

e.g., I'm getting really banana frittered.

submitted by Laura

banana oil - An untrue statement.

e.g., Jack: *puts forth succession of untrue statements* Mac: That's a load of banana oil.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

banana-hamic - A small men's bikini -- a thong or similar. (ED. And just what's wrong with a bikini for small men? Or, would that be a bikini for men who use condominimums?)

e.g., Look at that little ass banana hamic that freak Chris is wearing.

submitted by Jeffrey Walker

banana-itis - Another name for the disease usually referred to as polio or polio myelitis.  
Not sure it had the status of urban legend, but it was common knowledge when I grew up that polio was caused by eating the ends of bananas -- perhaps specifically over-ripe bananas. It had to be true because our next-door neighbor Jessie, who worked at the hospital across the street from where I lived, told me so. If Jessie didn't know what caused polio, who did? After all, she was one of the hospital cooks -- probably the one in charge of cutting off the ends of bananas before feeding them to my friend Sandbox Jim. His dad was the town doctor and he ate lunch at the hospital almost every day.  
Only today did I realize that Jessie's claim must have made a lasting impression on me. Why? Because I never eat the end of a banana, ripe or not. I normally cut off an end before peeling one and then cut off the other end afterwards. (Note: It's easier to peel a banana once an end is cut off. You can do so without mashing the peel into the banana's flesh.) When I don't have a sharp knife handy -- and I'm under pressure -- I'll peel an uncut banana and then bite off and spit out the ends before eating the rest of it. That's sort of my version of the five-second rule for food dropped on a germ-laden floor or other surface.  
From "Is There A Parasite In Both Ends Of A Banana That Can Make You Sick If You Don't Cut [Them] Off?": "The reason people began cutting the ends off [bananas] was that during the time in American history when many people were getting polio, people were told to cut the ends off, as the virus might be traveling into America that way. Of course, later this was discovered to be not true."  
Then there's this, about the use of bananas in polio immunization: "For example, it may be possible to engineer bananas that express recombinant polio capsid proteins in such a way that antigenic epitopes of the three serotypes of polio are expressed and elicit an immune response at the gut mucosal level when ingested."  
And "Chemicals found in bananas are better at preventing HIV than two current synthetic anti-HIV drugs, according to new study."


Mike: "I'd advise you not to eat that banana, Jim."

Jim: "Why not?"

Mike: "It's too ripe."

Jim: "Well, I like them that way. It's the best taste as far as I'm concerned."

Mike: "Perhaps, but you're taking a chance of coming down with banana-itis?"

Jim: "Banana-itis? What the hell is that?"

Mike: "It's what we've been calling polio. But research has shown that it's eating the ends of over-ripe bananas that causes polio -- so it's been given a slang name recently: banana-itis. Or, sometimes, bananaitis, without the hyphen."

Jim: "Research, huh. What research?"

Mike: "I'm not sure, but Jessie O's the one who told me. She's never given me a bum steer yet."

submitted by HD Fowler

banana-whacky - (adj.) crazy, loony, nuts, insane, out-of-his-mind loco (from "bananas"+"whacky"; the name of a cereal back in the 60s ... which, however, was really good, if memory serves).

e.g., "A write-in vote?! for the Bliznorbs of Zubenelgenubi?!" "Yeah, they say they'll eat all the criminals and relieve the prison system!... Of course, they worship Lake Michigan and postcards from Spain; and they believe crime is inversely proportional to the planet's supply of guano, so ...." "Um ... Code Red! Banana-whacky in the building!" "You're just a Bliznorbophobe." "What?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

bananectomy - The careful removal with a knife of the dark spots on a banana to make it edible.

e.g., Hold on, I'll get you the banana. Just have to perform a quick bananectomy here.

submitted by Milly

bananna - Crazy people. People who act strangely or are just downright stupid funny.

e.g., Kyle just said the dumbest thing ever. "Kyle, you're a bananna."

submitted by kayla

banano-second - A very short time frame, as in the length of time it takes for bananas to go from ripe to rotten.

e.g., Your computer will be cutting edge for about a banano-second.

submitted by meg streiff

bananus - The little black part on the bottom of bananas.

e.g., Ew, you ate the bananus.

submitted by Taylor

banapple - A banana and apple fruit that has texture like those fruits.

e.g., One day I ate the new and improved fruit called a banapple.

submitted by Alex.H.

bance - A contraction of "being" and "since."

e.g., Bance you're going to the store, bring me back a candy bar.

submitted by Eugene Hopstetter, Jr. - (www)

banchilitarianism - The origin of the word "banchitive" or the fine art of (practicing) verbal sarcasm of a contradictory, argumentative, or contrary nature. May also be used as slang to mean most anything -- usually derisive in nature.

e.g., Larry displayed his enormous talent for humor and banchilitarianism when he remarked to my stepmother, "Louise, don't be so banchitive" after she had just verbally man-bashed him in front of his family and friends.

submitted by jeannie

banchitive - From "banchilitarianism," coined by my Dad, Larry Fitzgerald. For someone who believes in or practices being contradictory: argumentative, contrary, or contradictory. Also for one who whines or complains often.

e.g., Oh, Louise, don't be so banchitive.

submitted by jeannie locke

banco - A term equivalent to the word "homework" or "prep." It is found in a few of the major public schools of England and derives from the Latin "in banco," meaning "on the bench," because boys used do their homework all together in one hall on rows of benches.

e.g., "I've got banco to do." "What's the chemistry banco?" "It's banco [time] now."

submitted by David Brennan

band-aid gruck - The grey-black sticky residue that forms around the perimeter of a band-aid that's been stuck to the skin for too long. Band-aid gruck often lingers after the band-aid has been removed, and it indicates where the band-aid once resided.

e.g., I have band-aid gruck on my knee because I left the band-aid on so long. It'll take days for it to wear off.

submitted by lizard

bandar log - The legislature, especially when they all pull together to pass a law that is both poorly thought out and irrelevant anyway. (From the Hindi: Bandar "Monkey" and Log "People" -- the foolish monkeys from Kipling's Jungle Book, who believed they were wiser than anyone else because, as they put it, "We all say so, so it must be true."

e.g., "You know, this new law doesn't really address the real problem." "Nonsense; it must be a good law; the Bandar Log said so -- it must be true."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

banded - The way non-computer-savvy people pronounce "banned."

e.g., I heard that Uncyclopedia admins banded you from editing the site for a few days.

submitted by star651

bandersnatch - A wildly grotesque or bizarre person, from the poem "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll.

e.g., Arnie took offense at being labeled a bandersnatch by the cool kids at school, thinking that his tri-colored hair and polka-dot jeans were the “in” thing.

submitted by natalie

bando - A fiercy loyal member of a band.

e.g., You better watch what you say around those CHS bandos -- one wrong word and BAM!

submitted by Chuck

bandwidth - a person's ability to take on additional work

e.g., ""sorry Bob, I can't do that for you - no bandwidth""

submitted by steve

bandwidth junkie - 1. A person who is so concerned about getting her illegal MP3s a whole 30 seconds faster that she will cancel all other downloaders. 2. Someone who becomes irritable about upload or download times because she has been desensitized from 56k modem speed.

e.g., 2 kb/s isn't that bad. Stop being a bandwidth junkie.

submitted by DJ Matt

bane of my existence - Not downgrading this particular piece, but I've found Keyes to be more conservative than I am. I wanted to vote for him in Oklahoma's Republican primary in 2000, but I'm not sure he got on the ballot. If he dd, I did.

e.g., Not downgrading this particular piece, but I've found Keyes to be more conservative than I am. I wanted to vote for him in Oklahoma's Republican primary in 2000, but I'm not sure he got on the ballot. If he dd, I did.

submitted by downgrating - (www)

banering - Whan your shirt is too tight and the buttons keep opening up.

e.g., I can't wear this shirt. I'm banering out of it.

submitted by charlie ayers

bang - To make a turn, usually in a car, especially in Boston.

e.g., Bang a left up here by the Star Market.

submitted by dina

bang on - To talk unfavorably about; to ridicule ceaselessly.

e.g., 1. "Tune in again on Fridays at 6.45 to hear her bang on about anything else that's really pissed her right off." -- Triple J, reference to Terri Psiakis. 2. Would you quit banging on about it?

submitted by jhulz - (www)

bang-zootie - A word used to describe indescribable euphoria

e.g., I just got married, my husband just won the lottery, and I found out that I am the queen of England, BANG ZOOTIE!

submitted by Jimmy - (www)

banga - Someone that is "down," hip, and with it.

e.g., K: He was such a banga! M: I agree, he was pretty cool.

submitted by Kris and Matt

bangalowe - Australian slang for receiving a "shot to the twins."

e.g., Krikey. That croc just swung its tail and gave me a good 'ol fashioned bangalowe.

submitted by Dr. Phelps - (www)

banger - Kiss.

e.g., Gimme a banger.

submitted by Joyce D

banger - British expression: a sausage.

e.g., Bangers and mash is my favorite British meal.

submitted by Stephen Mize

bangin' - Very kewl or good

e.g., That shirt is bangin'.

submitted by Rae-Rage

banging like an 8-0-8 - Sexy in every sense of the word. It's been used in Beastie Boy and Beck songs. Just plain "8-0-8" can be used, too.

e.g., "She's looking like a hot date, selling lots of real estate, feeling like jail bait, banging like an 8-0-8." Beck, "Hollywood Freaks."

submitted by Amanda

bangle - A person with a great body but bad face.

e.g., Tim's girlfriend is a bangle ... great uniform, horrible helmet.

submitted by Lauren Beezer

banglers - Those jingly metal bracelets that bounce noisily on the keyboard and desk when attempting to write and type but are extremely fashionable.

e.g., My banglers won't stop wacking into the spacebar!

submitted by lauryn

bangry - A state of mind just slightly past angry when you begin to bang things. | That height of anger where you feel like banging your head, or the head of the person irritating you, against a wall.

e.g., The other night at the pub I got bangry when the bartender cut me off. Good move on the bartender's part, though. | I was really bangry with my neighbour for letting his dog in my yard.

submitted by steve | Sikander Khan

bani-wango - A Frisbee toss noted for its long flight and near vertical final descent.

e.g., The Frisbee golfer scored his ace by going over the tree with a perfectly executed bani-wango from 65 yards out.

submitted by Ty Evans

banishio - Say this when you are throwing something.

e.g., He threw the ball and said "banishio."

submitted by leeleebigc

banjaxed - Broken.

e.g., My computer's banjaxed again. Time to call the plumber.

submitted by Claire - (www)

banjo - An adjective describing the less fortunate, and the less able, sometimes known as trailer trash.

e.g., Be careful of that family; too many banjos, not enough teeth.

submitted by Matthew

banjoanne - (n.) A banjo in a formal setting (sort of like its full name), such as at when used in performance at the Ryman Auditorium or Carnegie Hall.

e.g., "A symphony orchestra made of fiddles, guitars, and banjos, huh? That'll be great!" "Well, we sure think so, but please, here in the Opryhouse, they're banjoannes."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

bank - Money, usually in large quantities.

e.g., Ryan is setting himself up for a home invasion. Word's on the street that he has a bank in his apartment.

submitted by Ryan

bank robbery - Being robbed BY a bank, usually via exorbitant fees assessed to the customer's account, or fees of dubious necessity.

e.g., I just got dinged $35.00 for a five-dollar overdraft. Based on when I get my next paycheck, the overdraft is a loan at 364% annual percentage rate. Talk about bank robbery!

submitted by Dr. Dan Muldoon

bankrole - The role of a lifetime for an actor: the role that makes an actor rich, either through sharing in the proceeds of the production or in the role's leading to future highly-paid roles.

e.g., Rocky Balboa was Sylvester Stallone's bankrole. If he hadn't written and starred in Rocky, he'd have been lucky to get anything other than more roles in soft porn films such as The Party at Kitty and Stud's.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

bankruptikated - An adjective to desribe a person so undesirable that the only comparison that does her justice is to the present economic status of Russia.

e.g., Did you see Fitzwelda rollin' in them stretch pants? She was so bankruptikated.

submitted by Christopher E. J.

bankst - The feeling you get from resenting the bank charges that nickel and dime you to give banks record profits.

e.g., I get bankst when I see the charges to everything; bills, withdrawals,o r use of money machines.

submitted by Danny Kostyshin

banktatorship - "Autocratic rule by bankers. Stash this one for future reference. It's starting to look like it'll be useful." Via

e.g., What more proof than the Big Bailout do we need that we live under a banktatorship?

submitted by [bsfootprint] - (www)

bannedana - Forbidden foulard.

e.g., She couldn't wear her bannedana in Boston.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

bannicliffe - Cumbrian (NW England, Lake District, Beatrix Potter country) dialect word for a birthday cake.

e.g., Gordon were reet (really) pleased wi'hi (with his) bannicliffe as Ma 'ad only putten on (put on) a doosen (dozen) candle.

submitted by David

bannock slap - A full open handed slap, as in the kind used to knead bread

e.g., Be good Rupert, or mamma'll give you a bannock slap.

submitted by Mickey Ratt

banquentous - The stuffy ambience felt in an overcrowded banquet where the room is filled with people.

e.g., The dining hall in Richport Plaza was so banquentous I could hardly breathe in there.

submitted by louis

bansh - To move with considerable speed and destructiveness. (From my stepbrother Garrett, supposedly originating in Salinas, CA.)

e.g., 1. In Crazy Taxi (© Sega 1999, 2000) the only way to get any considerable amount of money is to bansh around everywhere. 2. That night, Garrett went banshing around in the fields behind his house. His car got stuck.

submitted by BigAssFries

bant - A collection of lick residue, specified to six parts of the body. The chin, the shoulders, the chest, and the forehead. That's six, right?

e.g., I just stole your chin bant.

submitted by morckus

banting - Following a low-carbohydrate diet; from the best-selling 1864 book Letter on Corpulence by London undertaker William Banting. (from the LA Times)

e.g., Banting is certainly one way to shed a few unwanted pounds. But some experts are concerned that banting could result in too much fat intake, causing unhealthful conditions.

submitted by natalie

banurpulate - The only reason this word exists is that it sounds like what it means: to change, rearrange, fiddle with, alter with the (vague) hope of correcting a problem.

e.g., Can't get the VCR to work, eh? Lemme see that remote, I'll just banurpulate the channel settings a bit.

submitted by Patrick Hall - (www)

baps - Blame Allocation and Persecution System. Also known as configuration managemenent/traceability strategy. Refers to a method of looking up who caused a particular problem and providing evidence with which to humiliate said person(s).

e.g., Chris said he never touched the printing code, but according to BAPS he broke it on the 24th.

submitted by KoC

bapticostal - A person with mixed religous backgrounds, specifically of Baptist and Pentecostal origins.

e.g., In the black church We got the Baptists, we got the Pentecostals then you have the Bapticostals!

submitted by Angela

bar burner - A video game player who rushes headlong into battle, ignoring how much damage he or she is taking and therefore using up the character's health bar very quickly.

e.g., I always lose to every boss in that game because I'm a bar burner and never bother to heal during battle.

submitted by Aurora

bar code hair - A balding man's sparse comb-over. From Japanese pseudo-English slang, "baakoodohea."

e.g., Who's Chris trying to fool with his bar code hair?

submitted by Kevin Sullivan

bar wallet - The proliferation of one dollar bills that is the usual result of a night out on the town.

e.g., I'll get the tip. I've got plenty of ones -- bar wallet from last night.

submitted by Josh Kosh

bar-closin' thirty - The time at which the bar closes.

e.g., I'll be home shortly after bar-closin' thirty.

submitted by becky giglio

barack & baruch - Proposed legal team in the next coming years, specializing in accident insurance perhaps. Cf. black and blue.

e.g., I send all my accidents over to the great team Barack & Baruch. They're fast, efficient, and turn out winners almost every time .. !? These are winners, not wieners .. !! * * --==O==-- * * p.i.e. 31415 ..

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

barack whole - Proposed title for a future biography all about an American president, comprehensive and complete, omitting nothing and well worth the price. Order now. {Duplicate.}

e.g., Barack's life mattered, as we all well know. Therefore, a future tome providing everything you always wanted and or didn't want want to know about the man, facts, fax, factoids, fancifacts, pseudofacts, fractofacts, dependable data, rumors, and tons of miscellanea. Barack Whole: President & Accounted For.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

barack whole - A forthcoming book about the man Barack as he really is, his true thoughts and feelings and private agenda for you and me and everyone else..

e.g., I've just finished reading an advance copy of the book 'Barack Whole'.. a stellar read, often far out, revealing and startling at times.. Get the Whole story, once you get into the 'Barack Whole' you might even end up over there on the other side of the continuum..?

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

baracked - "To be branded a racist simply because you disagree with the chosen one." Not original; that's why I used quotation marks.

e.g., I have yet to find anything that could possibly justify calling her intolerant, much less a racist. Nonetheless, considering where she lives, I'll bet she has to maintain a low profile to keep from being baracked.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

barbarian method - To fix an imperfection of mechanical nature using brute force -- i.e., a hammer. See "the tool."

e.g., We were surprised at his speed repairing the car using the barbarian method.

submitted by Claire Grove Stone - (www)

barbecue - A non sequitur. To "barbecue" is to produce a non sequitur orally or in writing. | Toilet paper.

(ED. The honest-to-God's truth: Earlier today my wife and I were driving around. I needed to stop by a branch of our bank to make a deposit. I said, "I'll go to the bank at Walmart. I need to pick up some barbecue." She gave me a puzzled look and asked, "Barbecue?" I said, "I have no idea why I said 'barbecue.' I meant to say 'toilet paper.' I must have just read a sign that said 'barbecue.' Oh well, I'll just add the word 'barbecue' to the pseudodictionary today and give it the meaning 'toilet paper.' Then what I said makes sense.")

e.g., I don't know why I had difficulty understanding it. Everything else you sent in was very clear. Maybe your original example had a barbecue in it? | Did you barbecue your description? Your example? |

You submit a word to the pseudodictionary. After receiving your e-mail notification from Paul and Garret that your word has been added, you click on the link to surf to the site. You're filled with anticipation -- you know the thrill you'll experience when you see your word … your description! … your example!! … in an online dictionary. You think, "ohmigod! i'll be famous!?" (Many of the pseudodoctrinati think in lower case. Paul McFedries of The Word Spy  might refer to them as "shiftless" thinkers. The pseudodoctrinati also tend to use multiple punctuation marks. We say, "Let your words be your exclamation points.") |

Then, "’Ello, this isn't the example I submitted! It's been pseudoctrinated!! Asshole editor." You then send a polite e-mail, asking the editor why she changed what you wrote -- perhaps even sending a salty e-mail demanding that she tell you why the hell she changed your artful use of language. |

Other ways the editor may use barbecue:

  • "Barbecue." This is the editor's shorthand response for "I don't know. My brain must have left the building before I did."

  • "Barbecue?" The always polite "Damned if I know why I changed it. Did my brain leave the building before I did? I know that happens to me the BFOer I get. Are you sure you wrote what you think you did?" | (Appearing in your entry when it's added) "Is this what you meant to say? It looks to me as if it may be a non sequitur."

  • Flame the editor? "Barbecue!" will mean something like "Fuck you … and the horse you rode in on" or "Douse yourself in gasoline, then set yourself on fire." That is to say, in no uncertain terms, the editor is not going to antagonize his wife and get into arguments with her about his wasting his time arguing with you He's far too wily for that. Also too BFO.

    submitted by HD Fowler

  • barbecue stopper - Something that brings the regular social conversation to a halt.

    e.g., When Sandy asked the obviously pregnant Rusty -- a married woman -- who was the father of her child, it was a barbecue stopper.

    submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

    barbecutter - Someone who eats a large amount of grilled meat at a family barbeque or company picnic, with odiferous gastronomic consequences.

    e.g., Dave became a hard-core barbecutter after eating three brats, a couple of chicken pieces and two pork sandwiches.

    submitted by Joseph Swartz

    barber-shop radio - A really old AM valve/tube radio that crackles and pops and is tuned to a horse racing radio station, in Australia's case 2KY. These male barbers been known to place bets on horses and listen to 2KY whilst cutting people's hair.

    e.g., I'm sitting in the barber-shop getting my hair trimmed and putting up with that annoying barber-shop radio crackling whilst some Melbourne Cup horse race commentator with a nasal voice is calling out horse names and my barber is chanting at the horse he bet on and accidentally cut a large chunk of hair off the middle leaving a bald patch on my head. … Whew, I needs to take a breath atter thatun.

    submitted by Aussie Bloke

    barbie - Aussie slang. Barbeque.

    e.g., I love sittin' round the barbie with a beer in me hand.

    submitted by John

    barbie-ize - To extensively accessorize or trick out, in the manner of building a wardrobe for a Barbie doll.

    e.g., The new emergency wind-up radio that I sent away for is really neat, but they seem to expect me to barbie-ize it myself down at my local electronics store, since there are so many attachments and extras that don't come with it.

    submitted by natalie

    barbofski - Huge mustaches or people that wear them.

    e.g., You know the stocker over at K-Mart? The one with the barbofski and worn-out pleather pants? I think he’s been stalking me on the Internet. Or maybe the Pleathernet.

    submitted by Paul Stark

    barborable - Combination of barbarian and adorable. Used when the object of comment is being cute and tough simultaneously.

    e.g., That Hell's Angel just bought his mom flowers. He's barborable.

    submitted by Anne - (www)

    barbuto - A Individual that can ingest items that would otherwise be know to cause harm to others.

    e.g., When Pete ate the volleyball net package, he entered the class of barbutos.

    submitted by Peter Tuttle

    barccuming - When your dog frantically and obsessively sniffs around on the floor, sofa, lap, etc. looking for crumbs or anything else that is even the tiniest bit edible.

    e.g., The dog is barccuming all of the crumbs off the floor.

    submitted by Stacey

    bard - Something bad, or not good.

    e.g., _Dawson's Creek_ is bard.

    submitted by seal

    bardendrophobia domestica - The fear of trees or tree branches falling through one's roof and crushing or otherwise killing someone.

    e.g., Amy's bardendrophobia was escalated after a recent storm broke off several tree branches in her yard.

    submitted by Lee

    bare - Lot, long, many of.

    e.g., I have seen you in bare time.

    submitted by Vicky

    bare whippy - To keep the noise down to a bare horse whisper, shortened to bare whippy.

    e.g., Dee, keep it down to a bare whippy.

    submitted by Dee

    barearseter - A pauper's advocate.

    e.g., Asking the legal profession to act pro bono somtimes means that all you get is a barearseter for an advocate.

    submitted by Alan March - Maddams

    barf lies - When you have overindulged in alcoholic beverages and, between conversations with the white queen, you tell yourself or anyone else who will listen that you'll "never do this again." From my clever insertion of a space into "barflies."

    e.g., Ed: I thought you said you'd never drink whiskey again. Ted: No, that was just barf lies.

    submitted by ditnis

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