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apricity - (n.) "The warmth of the sun in winter." [Quoted in an e-mail column called the 'Futility Closet.'"---It's a real word, evidently, right out of the OED ... and it has the ring of just-rightness to it.]

e.g., On clear winter days, the apricity melts the snow off the driveways in our neighborhood; well, all except mine (my house faces north and is on a hill, so the shadow protects the ice from the apricity-thaw). | Pirates don't like the word "apricity"; they prefer "Mayity ... arrr (or avast or something).

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

aprogressive - Not only conservative, anti-progressive.

e.g., I've decided you and Jim and I are not only conservatives, we're aprogressives. Not regressive, but anti-progressive -- given what today's progressives are: communists and socialists.

submitted by HD Fowler

apron string tenure -

Dave Wilton |

An apron string hold or apron string tenure referred to property of one’s wife, which was controlled by the husband during her life but which afterwards would revert to her original family.

e.g., We had no idea that apron string tenures were common in southern Missouri, and that that was why my uncle's will returned the land to my aunt's family. That had probably been their understanding all along.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

apropospropriate - Not only right, but right at the right time.

e.g., His remark was apropospropriate.

submitted by Jay - (www)

apthong - Silent letters in a word not pronounced.

e.g., The w in wriggle is an apthong.

submitted by Joel Parker - (www)

aption - Action done in the right way.

e.g., Ramu's well-thought aptions saved his family from a major crisis.

submitted by Akash

aptronym - An apt characteristic or name for a person or character.

e.g., "There's no telling whether Mr. Vegas will make a lasting impact on the PGA Tour, and whether he'll stick to the aptronymic style he flashed Sunday."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

apulchrous - Not beautiful at all.

e.g., Unfortunately, there were a lot of apulchrous girls at the party.

submitted by Curt

aquabatty - For one who pretends to be a superhero.

e.g., The Tick is aquabatty.

submitted by Xander Bluesummers

aquadextrous - The ability to turn the bath water on or off with your toes, especially those on one's right foot.

e.g., My wife has no problem falling asleep in the bath with the water running. My wife is so aquadextrous she can turn the water off with her foot even when she's sleeping.

submitted by mallard, stephanie - (www)

aquaduct, the - An expression used after someone has made a statement that is true only if a large number of exceptions are applied. From Monty Python's Life of Brian. It is to be said in a relatively high-pitched voice.

e.g., Producer: That song is good. Except for that whole verse about the guy getting killed and all. Bandmate 1: Really? Producer: Yeah, and you'll have to use less distortion on the guitar, and then add some congo drums with a Latin beat. Bandmate 2: The aquaduct. Producer: But other than that, it was good.

submitted by iustitia

aquafiller - The one at the fancy restaraunt who fills your water glass.

e.g., While waiting for my calamari al frillente, the nice aquafiller came by to pour me a tall one.

submitted by Danruk

aqualibrium - The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at a perfect height. (Not original to me.)

e.g., The fountain was adjusted to aqualibrium, thus relieving the drinker from having to suck the spout or squirt herself in the eye.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

aquaman - Derogatory term for someone who's useless -- just as Aquaman was useless in the 1970s cartoon show The Superfriends.

e.g., Doc: You can't borrow your dad's car and drive us? You're useless, Aquaman. Den: So, I guess that means you'll drive. Eh?

submitted by Doc

aquamaroon - A color--like bloody water or something.

e.g., After the shark attacked, the water was all aquamaroon instead of its normal clear blue color.

submitted by Mark

aquanaun - Abstract Noun: The spiritual evolution of mankind that can co-exist in (earth) water and space. | aqua=water | nau(short for naut)=Space | n(short for human kind)=earth

e.g., By evolving to our future form of existence, called aquanaun, humankind will unravel the mystery of space travel and obtain the ability to effortlessly move uninterrupted through water, space, and atmosphere.

submitted by philip moore

aquanaut - Condensation that drips off a cold glass and lands on you. Combination of "aqua" and "astronaut."

e.g., Don't you hate it when your glass drips aquanauts on your blouse?

submitted by Darrell James

aquarel - Aquatic apparrel. Diving equipment, and such.

e.g., Just a mo, got to get me aquarel.

submitted by Erasmus Thrasamund

aquiessence - Powerful localized smell (Hispanic.)

e.g., Not having bathed in weeks, he was easily apprehended by the rurales due to his aquiessence.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

aquifact - (Rhymes with BACK-the-tact; n.) Something made by water. [From aquis (ablative of aqua) "water" + factus (pp of facere "to make".]

e.g., The Grand Canyon is a magnificent example of an aquifact, but then, so is beach sand and breaking waves and cumulonimbus clouds. Water's cool.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

aqwela - A blend of mood, music, color, and style.

e.g., When I went to college last year I definitely noticed aqwela from all of the students in my class.

submitted by James Furman

ar three-eighty - An anal rententive person. A perfectionist.

e.g., Ugh, look at how he continually straightens his hair. He's an AR three-eighty.

submitted by lauryn

araber - One who sells produce on the sidewalk or street, usually from a horse-drawn wagon.

e.g., The araber paid his assistant in fruit for tending his horse.

submitted by Leverett Butts

arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth

e.g., Some people get arachibutyrophobia when they eat sandwiches.

submitted by Kica

arachnatingle - The feeling you get when your skin is crawling, easily mistaken for a spider traversing your skinscape.

e.g., Because Mary Beth always had arachnatingle, she didn't realize a tarantula was crawling up her back until it was too late.

submitted by Ally - (www)

arachnectomy - Intricate, humane operation to remove a spider from the bath or shower as it is acting as an unwelcome barrier to personal hygiene. Best accomplished with toilet paper or, for those brave enough, by hand.

e.g., Sorry I'm late. I had to perform an emergency arachnectomy before I could shower.

submitted by Benjamino - (www)

arachnoleptic fit - (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. (Washington Post Style Invitational.)

e.g., Flailing her arms frantically in front of her face, Chris appeared to be having an arachnoleptic fit.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

arachnominium - A dwelling place for far too many spiders -- a spider condominium. Usually found in dark corners of homes occupied by the organizationally challenged.

e.g., Carl dreaded another night on Sara's couch, knowing that he was sleeping within a few feet of the largest arachnominium he'd ever seen.

submitted by Roger Wright - (www)

arachnophobiavictimia - The fear of people with arachnophobia.

e.g., Larry Block, another victim of arachnophobiavictimia, was found wandering aimlessly in Central Park early this morning.

submitted by Obed

arachnospasm - Wild gyrations one makes upon running into an unseen spider web.

e.g., Derek didn't see the spider web. When it hit him in the face, he flailed wildly--he had an arachnospasm, I'd say.

submitted by Derek Chapman - (www)

arama! - a suffix you add to the name of someone you are fond of as a greeting(you may have to shorten the name)

e.g., delerama! (for delyth)

submitted by carolyn

arb - All Right But. A person who is generally of good character but not entirely trustworthy.

e.g., Ever since the incident with the wheelbarrow Dave considered Andy to be an ARB.

submitted by Dave Widdicombe

arbacadarba - (interj.) 1. a variation on the well-worn magic word "abracadabra" (for variety, if nothing else---it helps distract the audience, too.); 2. a magic word for undoing or altering the result of a magic trick.

e.g., "Abracadabra! and she's gone! ... and arbacadarba! She's back!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

arbit - Existing without order or predetermined reason, from arbitrary.

e.g., This snowstorm is arbit; we were just supposed to get rain.

submitted by Stephen C.

arbitraitor - A judge who has been or can be bribed.

e.g., Unfortunately, the International Skating Union seems to select too many arbitraitors to be judges. Not as bad as the basketball officials in the 1972 Olympics, though. | I dunno. Was the judge who overturned the murder conviction of Margaret Knoller an arbitraitor? Sure looked more and more that way when she was sentenced to only four years for involuntary manslaughter -- and perjury.

submitted by HD Fowler

arboramorous - Describes lovemaking that takes place in trees.

e.g., The arboramorous couple scaled the redwood tree and joined the 100-foot high club.

submitted by Steve McDonald

arborescence, arbo - From the French word for "flowchart." Used by Montreal web designers.

e.g., Did you finish the arborescence yet? I need an arbo before I start working on the interface.

submitted by Michael - (www)

arboromorphic - (AR-bor-o-MOR-fik; adj.) 1. Shaped like a tree; 2. reminiscent of a tree. [From Latin arbor "tree" + Greek morphe "shape."]

e.g., From space, river deltas are arboromorphic: they have a trunk and branches and everything. | Broccoli is oddly arboromorphic; in fact, some have used it to fill in for trees in miniature landscapes. | I have heard it said that the ents in the Lord of the Rings movies are not anthropomorphic trees; that makes them, I guess, arboromorphic ... trees.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

arcake-ick - For describing old baked goods.

e.g., Covered with mold, the bread was arcake-ick.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

arcane logic - Secret or hard to understand logic.

e.g., Spock readliy shows arcane logic.

submitted by Nathan Daniel Buelt

archaeogolly - (n.) The displacement you feel as you age and the technology seems to get away from you, no matter how hard you try to keep up. (adj.) Archaeogollical, of or pertaining to such a feeling. (From Greek archae “old” + English golly … “golly.”)

e.g., “Daddy, can I use your office computer for a sec? I just texted Peri, and she's gonna e-mail some songs to me. I need to download 'em into my ipod. … Daddy? are you okay?” “Sure, hon, sure. It's just that your ipod is smaller than my car keys. It's just archaeogolly.”

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

archeographology - The study of ancient handwriting.

e.g., Dr. Connors, being the only person in the world with a PhD in archeographology, was the first to observe that Newton's handwriting proved without a doubt that he copied all his ideas from Liebniz.

submitted by Ty Evans

archetypical - An archetype, but so overdone that it has become boring.

e.g., Jenni's Betty Page haircut was so archetypical at this point, she just looked silly.

submitted by Chuck

archetypical - Your garden variety, typical archetype (original, prototype).

e.g., Montezuma was the archetypical stinking.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

archidrake - A person who designs ducks.

e.g., Having designed the mallard, the teal, and the scoter, Bernard was probably the greatest archidrake there had ever been. | Philippa wanted a new duck on her pond so she called in an archidrake. | William studied to be an archidrake at university. For his final project he designed a new wing tip for the Merganzer.

submitted by David Ford

archistract - A concept, philosophy, and classification of fine art photography that focuses on the abstract qualities of various architectural styles and subjects using monochrome or colour compositions while highlighting patterns, forms, geometry, and gradations of light and shadows. "Archistract" is a portmanteau of the words "architecture" and "abstract." It is a style of abstract and architectural photography that has recently evolved into a cohesive and functional vision combining elements and traditions found in abstract art, architecture, and photography as a whole.

e.g., This archistract is a fine example of how architecture can be photographed in an abstract way.

submitted by John Kosmopoulos - (www)

archistructure - The framework of a design, particularly in software development projects. A smushing of "architecture" and "structure."

e.g., The program's archistructure is fundamentally flawed.

submitted by Dean Dvorak

architectrist - A female architect. (Possibly an architectrix, as well.)

e.g., She was the greatest architectrist of the 20th century.

submitted by Jessica

architorture - Post war, quickly built buildings made without any sense of aesthetics or architectural history, and designed with planned obsolescense in mind.

e.g., The street was filled with buildings that can only be described as architorture.

submitted by Danny Kostyshin

archive - A special spade-shaped fruit preferred by PD editors.

e.g., An endive archive is like a hive or ogive.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

arcoirisophobia - Fear of rainbows, derived from L., arcus iris = rainbow, phobia = fear.

e.g., Wallace, his arcoirisophobia in full swing, sprinted toward the safety of the movie theater after the spring rain.

submitted by Mark Lee - (www)

arctangable - A sharp touch.

e.g., The pencil is very arctangable.

submitted by snowboardinghockeyplayer3 - (www)

ard - A Reptile Dysfunction. When there is a problem with the lizard. (ED. Love the monicker ... so much that I'll probably use it somewhere else myself. I have literally hundreds of phonynyms.)

e.g., His date with the snake woman ended early because of his sudden bout with ARD.

submitted by Norm De'Pleum

ardm - (pronounced r'dum) acronym for A Remarkably Dumb Machine. term used in a sentence by one NASA honcho to describe a new generation of Mars landers

e.g., this is a remarkably dumb machine, meaning it cannot walk and chew gum at the same time

submitted by jbenz miguel

area 51ers - People who will see a conspiracy in everything.

e.g., Princess Diana is dead? I expect the Area 51ers will claim she was assassinated by UFOs.

submitted by Adam Leslie

arfenhouse - A mansion-sized house with only one room. Tends to be high in property value for no reason whatsoever.

e.g., The realtor sold the Arfenhouse for eleven billion dollars.

submitted by Misteroo

arfindel - An impersonator. (From Peter Jackson's The Fellowship of the Ring, in which Arwen whaps Glorfindel on the head with a shovel and steals his part)

e.g., Drew: then he pulls of his mask, and he really is a dog! Jenny: Ah. So he was an Arfindel pooch posing as a man? Gotcha.

submitted by Lemby

arflexia - Responding to a stimulus with a dog-like bark.

e.g., Startled, the "Arf!" escaped from John's lips before he even had time to think about stopping it. And so, yet another date with a most promising young lady was utterly ruined by his arflexia. Before the entree, too.

submitted by john r. brineman, m.d.

arfritis - Inflamation of the joints in a canine's jaw.

e.g., The old dog had trouble barking due to its arfritis.

submitted by David

arg - Used to describe discontent. Especially if you just realized you seriously screwed something up. Usually used at the begining of a sentence, but can be used at the end again to make sure your discontent is clear or for more effect.

e.g., Arg! I spent three hours doing this essay question and I did the wrong one. Arg!

submitted by WussyBoy

arga - Arguing.

e.g., Don't be arga with me.

submitted by Bob Timon

argargat - An eight-letter word invented in 1997 as part of a psychology course exercise. It is known that expletives and terms of endearment very commonly have four letters, or multiples of four. Eight letters allows the speaker more than one syllable for added effect. This word uses a vowel sound (arhh) associated with pain twice, in a repeated syllable "arg" which can be associated with the sound made while being strangled. This is followed by a sharp "a" and hard "t," indicating that the user has somewhat lost patience.

e.g., Argargat! Bloody Windows crashed again.

submitted by lewisgirl

arghit - Describing the feeling when you're angry, confused, and pissed off all at the same time.

e.g., I'm feeling arghit today.

submitted by eileen

arghmoment - The moment you scream in profound anger, frustration, or desperation.

e.g., The teacher had an arghmoment and told the student he was a twit for crawling under her desk to look up her dress. She was reprimanded, while the student got off scot-free. Partly because of that, she retired at the end of the school year.

submitted by ryan - (www)

argree - To seemingly agree with someone momentarily in the middle of an argument, just so you can follow it up with reasons that you disagree.

e.g., "Yes, but. …" is the standard way to argree with someone.

submitted by Deacon

argumentater - The perpetual eruption of arguments over "small potatoes" issues.

e.g., She's got that angry because I didn't put the dishes away; she's being a real argumentater.

submitted by Saint714

argumentum ad moderatorum - In logic, an argumentum ad moderatorum (Latin: "appeal to the moderator") is a fallacious argument that concludes a proposition to be true because many or all moderators believe it; it alleges: "If many believe so, it is so." The word(-s) was introduced to the public by the philosopher Geser Kurultaev.

e.g., "Argumentum ad moderatorum" is a type of the "Argumentum ad numerum" ("appeal to the number").

submitted by George

argusation - A particularly long-winded argument that never achieves the critical mass to explode and finish, but goes on and on and on and on.…

e.g., I wouldn't go in there. Your parents are having another argusation.

submitted by Mark Bauer

argutecting - The typical arguments that arise around the discussions of system architecture and software design. Credit to my brother Matt for this one.

e.g., The design team worked late into the night argutecting the merits of upgrading the platform to version 2.0.

submitted by Peter Trask

arguvational - Texan/Czech for "argumentative."

e.g., I don't like playing bridge with her because she is so arguvational.

submitted by John Booth, Jr.

arinkydink - To be said when someone does something stupid and painfully obvious.

e.g., Bob pushes on a door with a huge sign that says pull. His friends say in response: "Arinkydink!"

submitted by Tyler

aristobrat - an aristocrat who acts terribly.

e.g., "Sarah-Jane, beware of that aristobrat slouching at the bar. He likes to flash more than his money."

submitted by timothy

arithmatwisted - Completely and utterly devoid of mental capacity due to excessively tedious or difficult math problems.

e.g., After spending three hours on his calculus homework, Alex just stared into space and laughed. He was completley arithmatwisted and even lost his ability to spell.

submitted by Alex

arithmigraine - The headache you get when attempting mathmatecal equations. Specifically, when inebriated.

e.g., This tipping thing gives me an arithmigraine.

submitted by Marci

arkancide - Homicide, Arkansas style. Also used as a verb: to murder, Arkansas style.

e.g., "Hopefully this blows over before then, but they will still bus agitators in, or arkancide him."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

arkensax - Arkansas saxophone.

e.g., Interest in playing the arkensax peaked when William Jefferson Blythe Clinton was President of the United States. President Bill's talent was often overshadowed when his tuxedoed cat joined him on the socksophone. That unwanted competition was the main reason the black and white was given to Betty Currie when the Clintons left the White House.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

arkensozarks - 1. Arkansas Ozarks, Ozark Mountains in Arkansas. 2. Also used to refer to people from the region. Sometimes "zark." Reflects the attitude that persons from the area are ignorant … and laissez in their spelling.

One woman told a tale about the Arkensozarks in which zarks who used the veterinary clinic where she worked spelled their names differently each time they came in.

(ED. No doubt the Arkansans enjoyed playing with heterography. Being a native Arkansan, and having just completed a visit home, I have a good idea of what was going on if the tale is true.

PS. The Arkansans I know are a far cry from the Calico Rock white supremacist, the one who runs TightRope.)

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

arm candy - That exceptionally attractive and younger person walking with the older well-to-do person.

e.g., I met Dr. Watson's latest date. He always has the best arm candy.

submitted by Wm. H. Moffat

armacy - The art and science and practice and past and future of weapons, in peace and in war, on Earth and in Space.

e.g., Armacy deals with means of protection, fighting, warfare, battle and attack, destruction and disabling and neutralizing and death. Without weapons we are helpless and easy victims to the evil and aggressive and murderous ones.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

armageddon shopper - one of a very large group of people who, upon hearing of impending inclement weather conditions, will gather en masse at every Wal-Mart, convenience mart, and/or hardware store in the affected area and loot it of bottled water, canned goods, rock salt, cat litter, batteries, and/or any other supplies that could conceivably get them through the crisis, up to and sometimes including portable bomb shelter.

e.g., It was a nightmare at Wal-Mart! The armageddon shoppers got there before me and were fighting over the winter storm supplies.

submitted by Shaduan

armbow - A much more sensible variation of "elbow."

e.g., Lib kept getting armbowed as she tried to make her way into Westminster.

submitted by Helen

armchair activism - Taking action via the internet in support of a political, social, or ecological cause or goal. By virtue of its isolated nature, this form of activism is remote from active involvement, in a fashion similar to armchair warriors (in the Pentagon) and armchair travelers. An individual who uses armchair activism to take action is an armchair activist.

e.g., Between the demands of work and family, she does not have time for active involvement in her favorite ecological cause and has become an armchair activist instead.

submitted by Mary Helen Taft - (www)

arminuary - A place filled with a certain type of propaganda or an overabundance of something overall undesirable.

e.g., I live in an arminuary of TV dinners and self-help books.

submitted by Anna Demetrides

armisleeves - The sleeves of a garment, usually woollen. Specifically used during the action of donning or removing a garment and it gets stuck either because it's too tight or because of friction against the clothing worn underneath. Frequent use will lead to calling items of clothing (jackets, sweaters, etc) armisleeves.

e.g., Can someone please help me out--my armisleeves are stuck because of this nylon shirt I'm wearing.

submitted by Alison

armourous - describing a less-than-disceet public show of affection

e.g., "Those kids are certainly feeling armourous"

submitted by Charly

arms akimbo - Hands on hips, elbows bowed out. If you ever run across the word «akimbo» being used other than in «arms akimbo», let me know. No reason it can't be, it just isn't -- at least I've never heard or seen it done.

There she stood, my wife, arms akimbo, scowling at me and giving me the evil eye -- as if she didn't believe me when I told her it was an iPhone glitch that caused the pictures of me "pleasuring myself" to show up in my e-mail sent folder. So help me, God, I never done nuthin'. I didn't send those pictures to no one. No way. Nohow. Nuh-uh, not me. I don't even know a woman named Claire Dimclench. … Susan? Where you going, honey? … Sweetie?

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

armstrong - (n) to strong-arm people into compliance with your way of thinking. An especially egregious offense if you're an elected representative of the people and show that you don't understand First Amendment principles. Submitted in response to the linked article telling how Tennessee State Representative Joe Armstrong (D) had candy he considered insulting to obama removed from a University of Tennessee bookstore. As an elected official, Armstrong took "an oath to support the Constitution of the United States and of this state," both constitutions calling for freedom of speech.

e.g., What do you suppose the chances are that Comrade Joe will try to armstrong this entry? "Grow some skin and get over it. Every person out there is going to say something at some point in time that will offend you. Are you going to demand retribution and waste valuable time that could be better used?"

submitted by [Vinnie B]

arniefest - Screening multiple Arnold Schwarzenegger films in the one sitting. Also known as the "Arn Film Festival."

e.g., Arniefest. My house. Friday. Be there. Or don't.

submitted by Jeremy

arnookie - Military term for non-attractive women becoming more atractive after a long period of time without sex, such as a deployment.

e.g., After four months my standards have dropped so low, I am considering talking to that arnookie girl.

submitted by Jesse Galloway

arnoubi - Arnoubi = my little rabbit. It's a Tunisian word.

e.g., I love you, arnoubi.

submitted by hind

arnt, dont, wont - Aren't, don't, won't for those unwilling to use apostrophes or unaware that they should.

e.g., We wont hold it against you if you dont use apostrophes when you submit words that should be in a dictionary but arnt. Being prescriptivists, though, someone will make corrections such that any ensuing entries comply with Standard English Usage. Yes, such a beast exists -- despite the lame claims of some descriptivists.

submitted by Miss Speller

arntwunnathose - Contraction of "I want one one those." Coined by my niece with reference to seeing a giraffe at the zoo.

e.g., A: Shannon Elizabeth is foxy. B: Uh huh, arntwunnathose

submitted by wnpxnff

aromasphere - The area around an object within which you can smell the object.

e.g., That dog has a huge aromasphere; I can smell it across the room.

submitted by Mordecai Chalk

arpal - Of, or pertaining to, the internet. One of the earliest forms of the internet was called ARPAnet, therefore, arpal. (From Defense Department's Advanced Research Project Agency.)

e.g., E-mail or instant message -- just another form of arpal communique. | I'm going to go kill a few arpal trees posting this epic in my livejournal. | I've only met her arpally.

submitted by besserby

arresting devilments - The vexing problems you can have when trying to arrest someone.

e.g., Fighting, resisting arrest, running, hiding, gunfire, shooting you dead in the head (viz Twinsburg 2008), and other forms of lack of cooperation, these all constitute arresting devilments.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

arrestitution - A common belief that the ignominy of the public arrest procedure is sufficient punishment and atonement for committing any white collar crime.

e.g., Senator DeLay's lawyer stood in front of the press conference microphones. "My client admits to taking millions illegally in contributions, bribes, and favors at the expense of the U.S. government and its citizens," he said. "However, he is willing to have the police come to his mansion while he is having a large party for many influential people, handcuff him in front of all those important guests, escort him out, somewhat roughly, into a dirty, plain police car, remand him to a police station, book him and confine him for one night or more in a common cell -- in other words, provide complete arrestitution for his egregious misdeeds."

submitted by Charlie Lesko

arrgghh!!anization - That brainless, lethargic, can't-get-anything-right company, agency, bureau, industry, organization, department, division, section, etc., that contains more than its share of dunderheaded, bungle-minded managers, dweebs, and grunts, and for whom you toil 40 hours a week (or more).

e.g., Never have so many toiled for so long to produce so little. What an arrgghh!!anization to work for!

submitted by John Breen

arrgh ument - A heated discussion in which emotional intensity completely overwhelms logic.

e.g., It was an arrgh ument of biblical proportion. When Jim started yelling personal obscenities, his face turning purple, Little Joe jumped up, tore off his shirt, getting ready to swing his fists, while Bud violently turned the table over, and bent down to pick up a beer bottle, I realized that the gang's decision to meet at Bailey's Pub for a few beers and a friendly political discussion, was not a wise one.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

arrivederchievous - Mischievous departures.

e.g., The sudden arrival of the giant Roc imparted to his vanishing a distinctly arrivederchievous tone.

submitted by Zeromay Zentroclo

arrll-arse - Peculiar to Liverpool, England. Ancient in origin, corruption of English with Gaelic normally follows. "Arrll" is generally considered to represent "auld," Gaelic for "old." Means an old trick, but more specifically used throughout the socio-demographic strata to describe someone who is sly.

e.g., Yous did a really arrll-arse trick yesterday.

submitted by Robert the minute king

arrogantpipsqueak - Howard Dean. Suffers from Bush Derangement Syndrome. Delusional.

e.g., Arrogantpipsqueak on President Bush and 9/11: "I don't know. There are many theories about it. The most interesting theory that I've heard so far -- which is nothing more than a theory, it can't be proved -- is that he was warned ahead of time by the Saudis. Now who knows what the real situation is?" -- "The Diane Rehm Show," NPR, Dec. 1

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

arrove - Past tense of arrive.

e.g., He arrove yesterday.

submitted by joshua hockaday

arrow gant - An attitude of prideful, "in your face" conceit; one that is irritating, sharply provoking and hurtful.

e.g., The next time you come in here with that arrow gant look on your face, Buster, I'll smack you so hard, you'll quiver!

submitted by Charlie Lesko

arryth'metic - The study of irregular numbers.

e.g., I had no trouble with fractals but a arryth'metic is giving me fits.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

arsassin - (ar-SAS-sin; n.) 1. An arsonist who intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly kills someone in a fire they set; 2. A murderer who kills by burning his (or her) victims.

[Arson + assassin; coined by the writers of the television comedy "PSYCH" (Season 3, episode 12).]

[Derived terms: "arsassinate," "arsassination."]

e.g., The notorious arsassin burned down a building full of office workers to kill one man on the 14th floor.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

arse clown - Someone who has screwed up or is stupid.

e.g., Jerry Springer is a world-famous arse clown.

submitted by seal

arse pirate - Intoxicated man (almost never a woman) who touches or pats the bottoms of female nightclub patrons. Arse pirates nearly always dance casually in a swaying motion to conceal their intentions.

e.g., Watch out, there's an arse pirate behind you. OR I just got caught by an arse pirate. OR This place is full of arse pirates.

submitted by Bree

arsebiscuit - An exclamation. For instance to be used when one drops a heavy object on one's foot. No literal meaning; unfortunately, "arsebiscuits" do not exist.

e.g., Arsebiscuit, I've lost my car keys.

submitted by sofie

arsefeet - "In Tudor English, ducks were nicknamed 'arsefeet' because their legs are positioned so far back on their bodies."

e.g., "The penguin, a comical bird, Had a name that is now rarely heard, And, although not polite, It described him just right. It was arsefoot, an old sailor word. "It's a wonderful name; it's so neat And delightful, a lexical treat. It would be twice as nice If those penguins on ice Were referred to as flocking arsefeet."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

arsefication - Making a mess of a job. Or saying something stupid

e.g., What sort of arsefication is this.

submitted by sillybean26

arseholic - A person suffering from the condition of being unable to stop being an arsehole

e.g., The condition became so uncontrollable I had to attend Arseholics Anonymous just to be nice to people.

submitted by Peter Quinn

arsephyxiation - To be overcome by asphyxiation while fixatedly admiring a ladies derriere. Alternatively, if spelt as "assphyxiation" then one is fixated by American donkeys, which is far less pleasant than arsephyxiation.

e.g., Lord Henry fell to the ground in arsephyxiation as Lady Camille sashayed past.

submitted by Paul Watson

arser - Logo designer working for Ars Logo Design.

e.g., He deserves to be an arser.

submitted by Mark Henderson - (www)

arsey - Behaving like an ass. From arse, the British spelling of "ass." For someone behaving negatively in an angry or agressive manner.

e.g., Don't get arsey with me. | I suggested going to an afternoon movie and she got all arsey about it.

submitted by Jimvin

arshies - (n., from " Red Shirts " or " RShs ") Soulless or subhuman fantasy/sci-fi bad guys (species, zombies, robots, and the like) which can be slain or destroyed by the bushel basket without raising any kind of moral dilemma as to murder or genocide. This category includes LotR Orcs, WoT Trollocs, Eregon Urgals, Abhorsen Dead Hands, I Robot Nestors (in the movie), etc. Sometimes called "Orchids" or "Ornimies."

e.g., "Hey, cool Boxen. Whaddya got for Arshies?" "I'm using tech-reanimated zombies." "Zombots, huh? Not bad."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

art - Assuming Room Temperature. Dying or dead. Used by emergency room staff to describe DOA or unsavable patients.

e.g., Forget him, he's ART. Let's get that kid over there.

submitted by Ben Johnson

art bullies - Art people who hate on non-art people when they're interested in buying art.

e.g., Chris and Ras are art bullies.

submitted by Ras

art-ghetto - Modern art exemplifying African-American urban sub-culture.

e.g., Ice Cube is one of the premier voices of Art-Ghetto cinema.

submitted by Alfee

artattack - Feeling an overwhelming desire to create art.

e.g., The musician had an artattack and wrote a fantastic tune.

submitted by Tim Ward

artattack - If someone dressed peculiarly, or used cosmetic makeup in such a way that it didn't match with the person or the ambience -- one could experience an artattack.

e.g., Upon seeing Minkshi today, I had an artattack.

submitted by minakshi

artbuster - An arthouse movie that crosses over to be a big mainstream hit. First used in Variety Deal Memo and picked up by other movie publications.

e.g., "The Piano" and "Trainspotting" are the 90s most notable artbusters.

submitted by Toby - (www)

artemography - (also "artemigraphy"; n.) lunar geography [on analogy with geography

e.g., A few years back, during my artemography phase, I must have learned everything there is to know about Plato crater.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

arterial nervosis - The condition whereby your rich aunt manipulates your behavior by promising she will have a heart attack if your present behavior continues AND you will find yourself on the outside of her will looking in.

e.g., Auntie Mae: "Oy, Frank! You're going to give me a heart attack with your rings in all the wrong places!" [Frank, aside: "I'm not listening to this arterial nervosis stuff anymore!"] A.M.: "Stop muttering Frank and listen to me: you're going to inherit a lot of money someday. . . MAYBE!" Oh, I feel faint!"

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

arteriosclorotic - Used when the amount of bureaucracy to get the simplest thing done is absurd.

e.g., Microsoft has become aterioslorotic; everyone is in meetings all day and it's impossible to get anything done.

submitted by Jonathan Hager - (www)

arthropovulsion - A little child's gleefully plucking off the legs of a grasshopper or beetle one by one, and then periodically checking to see if it can still walk.

e.g., Arthropovulsion is more often practiced by little boys than little girls. Of course, by the time they're teenagers, the roles reverse.

submitted by Yafesi Nsubuga

arthuritis - Allergy to men named Arthur, characterized by swollen and painful joints.

e.g., Allison was forced to leave her new job since her new boss was named Arthur and that triggered a very painful case of arthuritis which no amount of pain killers could relieve.

submitted by Wells Martin - (www)

arthuritis - Arthritis, spelled to match the way some people pronounce it. {Duplicate.}

e.g., Pain in my hips makes walking difficult for me -- I start hurting if I walk over a hundred feet. Not sure if it's arthuritis, but it may be.

submitted by HD Fowler

arti-joke - The funniest vegetable.

e.g., He looked so silly eating that arti-joke, I couldn't stop laughing.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

artichock - A hardened piece of vegetable matter, used to wedge uneven tables, hold open doors, etc.

e.g., Pass me that old carrot--it'll make a useful artichock.

submitted by Hammerton

artichoke livers - A poor but acceptable substitute for artichoke hearts.

e.g., If you want to cut the fat in the recipe, use applesauce rather than butter, of course only in baked goods. Further, when fresh artichoke hearts aren't available or too expensive, use artichoke livers instead … just fry them in butter first.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

artickle - A satirical news story or blog entry that inspires a good chuckle.

e.g., I love reading the artickles on and the ... but the uncyclopedia can't be beat.

submitted by Stennie - (www)

article formation - Used to persuade a group of people to turn chairs into a speaker's direction.

e.g., Lets get into Article Formation, guys.

submitted by JA

articler - One who writes articles

e.g., More than an economist, Paul Krugman is now renowned as an articler.

submitted by J. Ajith Kumar - (www)

artificial intelligence - refers to the hair color (other than blonde) of someone who acts like a blonde (dingy)

e.g., ""I know he has red hair, but it must be artificial intelligence.""

submitted by Lillie

artify - 1. To make artistic. 2. To change something boring into something interesting.

e.g., Paper is easily artified by applying paint to it.

submitted by Kya - (www)

artist - An insane person who works for all or part of her life producing wonderful things which will likely only have full value when she's dead.

e.g., Stevo's an artist, perhaps he'll be able to support his family when he's gone.

submitted by steve zihlavsky

artractulation - The strategy of displaying artistic creations to enhance one's attractiveness.

e.g., Among his most effective artraculations was his performance of "Fascinating Rhythm" for Annabelle in an original double bass arrangement.

submitted by Theresa

arty - Artillery.

e.g., Our decision to withdraw our camps out of arty range should tell you something.

submitted by HD Fowler

arustasha - (a-roo-sta-shah) Meaning or implying something vulgar. Used as a nicer form of "That's what she said."

e.g., No, I'm serious -- arustasha. Exactly what she said, coarse as it is.

submitted by Sara Shortt

arvilicious - Delicious, scrumptious, irresistible.

e.g., Your gyro looks arvilicious … can I have a bite?

submitted by Zeeterman - (www)

arvilinitis - A compulsion to go to your friend's house and drink all her beer and eat all her pizza.

e.g., After they destroyed my bachelor pad staples, the Dunham boys informed me they had a severe case of arvilinitis.

submitted by king of vulgaria - (www)

arvo - Afternoon.

e.g., What are you doing this arvo?

submitted by Imo

as and cs - Arts and Crafts. Slang form, creative endeavour.

e.g., They're letting me out of that place today so I can do some As and Cs.

submitted by kara

as crazy as eliza thornberry - One as happens to be obsessed about talking to her housepets or other animals in the belief that they could somehow sense what must be going through the minds of their pets, etc. From the Eliza Thornberry character in the Nickelodeon series The Wild Thornberrys, who was somehow given the power of conversation with animals by way of an African witch doctor.

e.g., That crazy cat lady, talkin' with her cats all the time. She must be as crazy as Eliza Thornberry, if not more so.

submitted by Larry Ellis Reed - (www)

as if? - Said in disagreement, or in disbelief.

e.g., "Did you wear that shirt yesterday?" "As if?"

submitted by Candace Coffey

asap-ish - From ASAP. As soon as possible, but only sort of.

e.g., I'll sort it out asap-ish.

submitted by lepki

asasp - The tense, awkward silence prior to and the retaliation against something said that is disgusting or perverted.

e.g., Chris told me that he wanted to lick my fingers. The resulting asasp was violent.

submitted by lauryn

asbo - Quote from Wikipedia: "In the United Kingdom an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO) is a civil order made against a person, as a result of persistent anti-social behaviour. The order bans a person from engaging in a specified form of anti-social behaviour, and/or bans them from entering a specified area. Breach of an ASBO can result in criminal penalties."

e.g., Quote from The Independent: "The Government is proud of its ABSOs, making a point of mentioning them in its general election manifesto."

submitted by HD Fowler

asburd - A feeling to describe the way a person latches onto an undesirable member of society.

e.g., Adrienne could not igore the asburdly strong ties she had to Bruce, her Floridian companion.

submitted by Ross Pitman

ascared - A combination of being afraid and scared. Askeered, a-skeered.

e.g., Ted: "Boy, was I ascared when that ghost came after me." Red: "Yeh, me too." Ed: "What ghost? I didn't see one."

submitted by Ade Magnuson

asceideitis - A problematic characteristic in American Southern writers in which many asides are inserted into otherwise (such as this) decent narrative. Spelled phonetically to encourage proper pronunciation: "aside-itis," like a disease.

e.g., Bob's a good Southern writer overall, but he's got asceideitis really bad. I can't tell if I'm in the present or listening to some old yarn of the main character.

submitted by Betsy Andrews

ascend the waterway - To be in a pile of trouble and have no way to evade it.

e.g., He had ascended that well-known waterway and had no means of conveyance.

submitted by Steve McDonald

ascertion - What you've made when you've made an assertion of which you're certain.

e.g., "Logo, you are right in your ascertion. But apparently those values are not what the major wants in Chicago. He wants to create a city where only those who agree with him and his campaign donors are allowed to prosper. It's the Chicago way."

submitted by [BR] - (www)

ascii art - "A collection of standard ASCII characters used to create images. Can be extremely complex or extremely simple, though rarely contained to just one line. See Also: Emoticons."

e.g., That ASCII art of the cow was quite creative. :D

submitted by Purple

ascusting - Even more than disgusting.

e.g., Chris, your feet smell ascusting as usual. Take a shower.

submitted by BL

asdfghjkling - The feeling you feel, when you cannot even type a coherent thought.

e.g., Oh, my God, I'm asdfghjkling right now.

submitted by Randomfrench - (www)

asdotu - "A Sarcasm Detector? Oh, THAT'S Useful!" a line from The Simpsons. Used when people don't realize you're being sarcastic.

e.g., Sarah: "Does this dress make my butt look big?" Ed: "Oh, yeah, it's like a weather balloon." Sarah: (long pause and angry glare) Ed: "ASDOTU! It looks fine."

submitted by PPM

asexy - An asexual organism that is particularly attractive.

e.g., That is one asexy amoeba.

submitted by NotAlex

ashi - (pronounced ah-SHEE; n.) 1. something (and generally something unique) greatly desired but dangerous or harmful; by extension, 2. something greatly desired (whether dangerous or not); 3. a seemingly unobtainable goal, end, or object; 4. The perfect example of something. (From "Ashi," which the Ringwraiths call the One Ring (from Tolkien's "ash nazg" lit. 'one ring.'))

e.g., Juliet was Romeo's Ashi. | "Behold: Ashi!" "It's a hot dog." "No! It is ... the PERFECT hot dog!" | "The enemy's gate is ashi" (Ender's Game).

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

ashtronaut - A person whose cremated remains (ashes) have been launched into space and are now in orbit around the earth.

e.g., Is there an ashtronaut's theme song?

submitted by HD Fowler

asian burn - Phenomenon occurring in some people of Asian descent, wherein consumption of alcohol causes extreme redness of the face.

e.g., Jack: Check out Mary. She's all red. Mac: That's the Asian burn for ya. Three margaritas and it's tomato time.

submitted by jeff - (www)

asianality - Indeterminate nationality for someone who appears to be Asian.

e.g., We couldn't determine what asianality she is.

submitted by Zeeterman - (www)

asimov's law - That no robot can harm a human or by inaction allow harm to come to a human. Invented by Isaac Asimov, but now generally accepted.

e.g., Borg, fully aware of Asimov's Law, wondered why the robot was strangling him.

submitted by Adam Leslie

asineight - So stupid that it doesn't even make it to the nine in asinine.

e.g., Hiring all those second-string Andersen people as dotcom execs was the most asineight thing we ever did.

submitted by puppyscent

asiten - Something beyond asinine.

e.g., When Bart found out they might make a reality show about goats, he exclaimed, "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. It's asiten."

submitted by Iyaz

ask and tell - The opposite of 'Don't ask, don't tell. | Ask, and you shall be enlightened. | Tell, and you will enlighten others.

e.g., Ask and Tell, | What the Hell. Thou canst not know unless thou asketh, can thou? Let me tell thee a story perchance, that thou mayest understand the reasons for someone's unorthodox appetite? All things are understandable through plain revelations; therefore, ask and tell.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

ask dj! - Following a questionable statement, this provides instant and impeccable credibility.

e.g., What, you don't believe me? Ask DJ!

submitted by Rocky RPM

ask force - An unarmed force organized for a special operation like asking the mighty question.

e.g., The role of the Ask Force is to k.o.ordinate the developement of our consciousness.

submitted by phrasardeur - (www)

askhole - A reporter who goes out of her way to ask impertinent, insulting, and out-of-line questions at press conferences.

e.g., If quotas for askholes were set for press conferences, I'd be more likely to watch them.

submitted by HD Fowler

asl - Age, Sex, Location. Normally used as a question when initiating a chat session with someone new to you. Don't expect the truth.

e.g., Joe: Hi, wanna cyber? Jane: ASL? Joe: 19, M, Los Angeles, and I have pics of my pecs.

submitted by Morgan

aslake attack - When you are mostly asleep but partially awake and you suddenly twitch a body part because something in your "almost" dream did so.

e.g., I had an aslake attack last night and involuntarily slapped myself in the head.

submitted by slojewnamedpru

asmolgimethem - A stupid answer to a stupid question.

e.g., ::Steve is frying eggs; Stephen walks into the kitchen, looks and then asks:: "What you doin' pappy?" "Slicing my fingers off thinly so my gravy will be the right consistency." "I don't appreciate your asmolgimethem, Papster." "And, I don't appreciate your imposeter."

submitted by steve zihlavsky

asok - From the Dilbert comic strip. A gullible intern or temp employee who's just begging to be abused.

e.g., Get the Asok to clean your desk … it's disgusting. | Get Asok to make 140 copies of this and hand collate it for the meeting.

submitted by Cujo - (www)

asonic - How you feel when all the exams and work and chores are over and you have a blissful stress-free feeling wash over you.

e.g., I feel absolutely asonic.

submitted by J Ella Smith

asonym - A word that sounds less and less like a real word the more times you say it--especially if done over and over during a short period.

e.g., Upholstered. Upholstered... Upholstered, upholstered, upholstered... That's an asonym.

submitted by Daniel Spaulding

aspartame - Suppository lubricant. Also, descriptive of a domesticated snake.

e.g., Do NOT use Aspartame on aspartames.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

asperg - Anyone with Asperger's Syndrome, an intriguing form of autism found in bizarre famous people such as Glenn Gould and Andy Warhol.

e.g., I'm telling you true. Frank is an Asperg. He's socially inept even though he's good at math. And he can't stop talking about boring subjects.

submitted by FesteFenris

asphalt - Feeling the bottom of another person. Often someone who is not an acquaintance

e.g., "I just had my asphalt." Slaaaaaaap!

submitted by Andy Watson

aspiratage - Cool Dictionary: "Aspiratage is the surrealist art of making patterns in a carpet or rug with a vacuum cleaner (aspirateur in French)."

e.g., He liked to make aspiratage rather than simply use the vacuum cleaner to remove dust and dirt.

submitted by Daniel C. Boyer - (www)

asru - The emotion composed of a mixture of awe, fear, wonder, and joy -- often experienced at the moment of epiphany. It may also describe the emotion that a worshipper has in apprehension of God or divinity.

e.g., When he realized that he could explain their behavior on molecular, sociological, evolutionary, and spiritual scales, he blinked back tears grinningly as he was overcome with asru.

submitted by Greg Buchold

ass chimney - Random insult.

e.g., Ed: Ted, I just killed your cat. Ted: You ass chimney, I don't have a cat. Ed: Then who was that.…

submitted by caitlyn - (www)

ass suredly - A verbal indicator that the user of the word is a cultural snob.

e.g., If I'm sitting in a chair in a barber shop, waiting to be next, and you come in and sit down next to me, I want to be polite and friendly. So I say, "Nice day, isn't it?"

And you turn to me and look, coldly for a moment, and then say, "Assuredly." I know that you're looking down your nose at me, and you think your sh** doesn't stink, and I know, "Ass suredly, you're an ass!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

ass, butt - The last half-inch or so of beer at the bottom of a bottle that tastes terrible.

e.g., I can't drink any more of this, it's down to ass.

submitted by ditnis

ass-drag - A grueling, tedious, tiring, and boring task or situation.

e.g., I hate this class. It's an ass-drag.

submitted by Ryan Schweitzer

ass-gay - Not as bad as it looks, it's Pig Latin for "gas."

e.g., Nowadays if you need ass-gay, all you need is a lot of ash-cay.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

ass-lay - Pig Latin version of "lass." It could possibly refer to how some donkeys or burros simply "lay down on the job" when the notion strikes them. On the other hand, a goodly number of blokes seem to inordinately concentrate on the sex object aspect of a "lass," seeing too much the ass-lay aspect

e.g., A fair and good man will see and enjoy the whole person, a lass or a laddie, for that is holistically valid and appropriate. Crude churls belong in the dust bin, such cads and reprobates, for their inordinate and excessive devotion to what may be called ass-lay is quite uncivil and perhaps even embarrassing to people of sensitivity and quality.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

assad's bread - To be used in any formal examination where the answer to an impossibly difficult question is not known. Originally used by Assad. In response to a question asked, he simply replied with all seriousness, "Bread." We loved him for it.

e.g., Q. Construct a structure factor diagram for the reflection of a protein crystal that contains one kind of anomalously scattering atoms Fb, and show the contribution of Fb with respect to the Patterson Summation. Show how the grouping together of the sine and cosine of the angles can yield information on the phase difference "problem." A. Bread?

submitted by Robert the one minute king

assanova - A would-be seducer of numerous women who succeeds only in making an ass of himself with his efforts.

e.g., "You seem well read, Vadim. What are some pickup- or non-pickup-related books you can recommend for aspiring Assanovas?" "I suggest you check into some of the tips found by surfing to the linked site."

submitted by [dk1123] - (www)

assariffic - Something that is not good.

e.g., My weekend was assariffic. Friday I got pulled over and Sunday I lost my homework.

submitted by David Craig

assassinine - When you want to kill 10 people, but come up one short.

e.g., I just couldn't shoot that 10th guy. I assassinine.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

assassinnati - A killer from Cincinnati, OH.

e.g., Why did they give Pete Rose of the Cincinnati Reds such a raw deal? It wasn't like he was an assassinati or anything.

submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

asscan - What to do if it's your fault. Act Suprised, Show Concern, Admit Nothing.

e.g., My high school counseler's policy was complete ASSCAN.

submitted by kirsten

assclown - Someone who's more than just a regular ass.

e.g., Ed. The assclown on the bicycle caused a six car pileup. Ted. That wasn't just your regular assclown. That was Chris.

submitted by walter

assed out - To become unconscious after drinking heavily. | To be left out, or to come across misfortune that is not of your doing that you have no control over.

e.g., A: Where's Pete? B: Oh, he got mad drunk and he assed out on the couch. | If the guy in front of you bought the last one, then you're just assed out.

submitted by Ashley | John -SilverTab- Bailey

assemblieizer - One who assembles assemblies.

e.g., Ali is the assemblieizer for the high school.

submitted by Theta Angel

asserole - A posterior so appealing that it compels one to return for seconds.

e.g., May I have another serving of asserole?

submitted by Nathan

assfault - In California, the crack in the southernmost back, where the sun mostly don't shine, anatomically speaking.

e.g., It's really no one's fault if you happen to see unexpected assfault, but for some reason it's rarely a pretty sight.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

assfly - Incredibly annoying person who follows you around and joins in other people's conversations.

e.g., Beware, that assfly Chris is coming this way.

submitted by JoJo

asshat - 1. A general insult for a person who is being an idiot or a loser. You'll know one when you see one. It is not to be confused with "asset." If someone assumes you said "asset" then she is obviously an asshat. 2. It can also be used as a nickname.

e.g., Why'd you do that, asshat? | Come on, asshat. Knock it off. | Stop being an asshat, Chris. Oh, I forgot. That would be impossible for you.

submitted by Jen Kowalchuk

asshattitude - The attitude of one who is an asshat.

e.g., I would spend more time in Montpelier if it weren't for the asshattitude of the former governor.

submitted by Xkot - (www)

asshold - One who internally retains toxicity.

e.g., Schickeldorf is full of crap. He keeps his negativity bundled up inside and it makes him toxic to himself and everyone around him. He is an asshold.

submitted by Redbendad - (www)

asshole forceps - A large extractor tool, used not for extraction butt for insertion. Must have heard something on TV as I was dozing to make me think of juxtaposing the two words in that order.

e.g., "What we need is asshole forceps of sufficient size to allow us to spread the cheeks of the miserable critter wide enough to push in a large apple." "I'll bet you can find some in the maternity ward of the nearest hospital. The ones used to deliver babies suffice."

submitted by beelzebub

assholery - Like "Tomfoolery," but in either an incompetent way or a malicious way. The word is uniquely mine, and I claim the planetwide credit for it when folks start using it in everyday speech. :-) (ED. Thomas Pynchon might take issue with the claim, considering that he used "assholery" in Gravity's Rainbow in 1973.)

e.g., Once again, we're behind schedule because of Chris's assholery.

submitted by John Doyle

assholian - A variation on "assholic" -- behavior that is particularly in the manner of an asshole, inordinately unpleasant behavior. Assholish.

e.g., My brother was being assholian last night, playing his X-BOX when I wanted to watch Half Baked.

submitted by Lyra Silverblade - (www)

assholic - In the manner of an asshole, behaving like a jerk. | One addicted to being an asshole; acting in a manner so as to continually upset those around you.

e.g., Gee-whiz, Walter, spitting in that man's soup was genuinely assholic of you. | That was the third time that assholic cut me off.

submitted by HeavyPettingZoo | Stephanie - (www)

assholigarchy - Controlled or led by assholes, often a minority.

e.g., The minority of whiners were able to compel Darrell to get rid of his tool girl calendar collection over the objections of most of his friends, thus confirming the power of the assholigarchy.

submitted by Mark Lee - (www)

assify - How stupid people affect the world around them.

e.g., Chris is a moron; he's gonna assify the whole plan.

submitted by Saint714

assignation - Assassination.

Assignation, from

  • The act of assigning.
  • Something assigned, especially an allotment.
  • An appointment for a meeting between lovers; a tryst.

    e.g., Add to this thrust for mayhem, Saddam committed the supreme act of attempting the assignation of a sitting President of our country.

    submitted by Miss Speller

    assigned infrequency - It's not very often, but it's dependable, regular, predictable.

    e.g., Ships from Earth arrive with assigned infrequency, not often enough to keep us supplied with beer and nuts and the latest news.

    submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

    assinignement - An assignment that is bad, corrupt, stupid or just plain wrong: assininement.

    e.g., The boss gave me an assigninement which turned out badly because his intentions were evil.

    submitted by Earl Egdall - (www)

    assinine - How asinine should be spelled: "foolish, unintelligent, or silly; stupid; of or like an ass."

    e.g., "[Y]ou have a right to respect anyone you choose. You do not have the right to make an assinine oxymoronic statement." (ED. In the United States you do.)

    submitted by [The Avenger] - (www)

    assinine - Hao asinine should be spelled: "complacently or inanely foolish." {Duplicate.}

    e.g., "If he says anything else, you know what will be coming out of his mouth, don't you?" "Sure, another assinine remark. What else can you expect from such an ass?"

    submitted by Miss Speller

    assiotic - This is a word I created when I was a teenager -- many, many years ago. It's a combination of "ass" and "idiotic" when just one of the two words is not enough to convey your thoughts. It was and still is amazing how many people understand the gist of the word when used in proper context.

    e.g., That was an assiotic thing to do, Chris. Why am I not surprised?

    submitted by France Joncas - (www)

    assited - Excited, with a twist.

    e.g., I'm going shopping tomorrow. I'm so assited.

    submitted by Nicky Ubben

    assitude - The attitude you get from someone who is being a complete jerk.

    e.g., I don't know what's the matter with Chris today -- his assitude is almost unbearable.

    submitted by Kelly

    assjack - Similar to jackass, but more severe when used to refer to a particular person.

    e.g., Ned. Leave me alone, assjack. Veronica. Quit assjacking around.

    submitted by boomshika

    asskcuse - To accuse someone of something by shrouding said accusation in the form of a seemingly innocent question.

    e.g., Boyd and Derrick asskused me where the leftover pizza had gone.

    submitted by Walter Swarthau

    assload - A large amount of something.

    e.g., I have an assload of laundry to do.

    submitted by Lesah

    assministrator - A person who abuses her position of authority.

    e.g., Our vice principal Chris is a real assministrator.

    submitted by Bender - (www)

    assmosis - Chronic kiss-ass syndrome.

    e.g., Chris's a brown-noser. I think he's come down with a bad case of assmosis.

    submitted by Mandy

    assmosphere - The polluted air within the effective range of flatus.

    e.g., Chris walked by and I was caught in his assmosphere.

    submitted by Bryant Noice

    assness - Smartass.

    e.g., Thanks a lot, assness.

    submitted by sam

    assonist - A person who attempts a flamethrower effect by setting fire to her farts. (ED. I've never seen it done myself, but I talked with a friend last weekend who had. The fellow who had his farts lit was Lindsay Lou Farts.)

    e.g., James, why are your shorts burnt? You're not an assonist are you?

    submitted by James

    asspants - A mild expletive for non-Americans. If American, the word should be "bumknickers."

    e.g., Asspants. I left my wallet at home.

    submitted by evie

    asspirin - Pain reliever of any type taken to relieve a non-physical pain-in-the-ass.

    e.g., After listening to Chris gripe at him all day, Casper was in dire need of a couple of asspirins.

    submitted by Dave Violette

    asstagonist - Non-essential character in a made for TV or B movie to attract male viewers.

    e.g., I couldn't really follow the subplots or pick up on any deeper meaning to the story, but the flick had a real hot asstagonist.

    submitted by Dave Violette

    asstastic, asstacular - Spectacularly bad.

    e.g., You played asstastic last night.

    submitted by Bryon - (www)

    assterisk -
    From Kurt Vonnegutt's Breakfast of Champions, his famous asshole|asterisk.

    e.g., I use an assterisk as my avatar on several sites.

    submitted by HD Fowler

    assteroid - I've decided that the a better word than hemorrhoids for the "pain caused by venous swelling at or inside the anal sphincter" would be assteroids.

    e.g., How've been doing lately? Not too bad all things considered. My mental attitude and health seem to be in good shape. As for my physical health, I have a few things wrong with me. But that's to be expected with someone our age. One thing, however, really burns my ass -- a seriously bad case of assteroids. The main trouble with that, of course, is that I've had to cut back on my mono-diet of crunchy peanut butter.

    submitted by Lillith

    asstoot - Not astute, as in smart: a fart.

    e.g., Oh. My. God. Don't tell me it was the dog. No dog's asstoot smells like that.

    submitted by beelzebub

    asstraulch - Assault + stretch. The unintentional action, while yawning and stretching one's arms, to strike someone nearby.

    e.g., I asstraulched the girl behind me in homeroom this morning. What can I say? It wasn't my fault. She was leaning too far forward.

    submitted by D^2

    asstronomical - Very large. Used when a person's butt is so big you can hardly believe your eyes.

    e.g., As Chris walked by, Christina said to Alex, "Did you see his butt? It was asstronomical."

    submitted by Steve Kitts

    asstrophy - The numbness in your behind from sitting too long. Think of atrophy.

    e.g., If that meeting had gone on any longer, my asstrophy would have been permanent.

    submitted by marlys

    assumably - Corruption of "assuming" and "presumably."

    e.g., The last book I read by this author was very entertaining. Assumably, his new one will be too.

    submitted by Sara

    assy nine - Denoting a stupid ass you are stuck sitting next to (examples: in an airplane, at a dinner party, in a sports arena) who says or does something ridiculous, and, worse, repeats it at least nine times.

    e.g., Dear God! I'm here at this basketball game and the assy nine jerk next to me throws his elbow into my ribs, and says, "Aain't this great!" every time his team scores! (Thank you, Miss Speller).

    submitted by Charlie Lesko

    asteem - Already Seen This Exact E-mail Message. Reply to someone who always sends you old stories or jokes that everyone has seen a million times. Used when you are fed up with the sender's behavior.

    e.g., ASTEEMed Shirley after she sent me the same urban legend the third time last week.

    submitted by Beth Zeier

    asterisk - The chance that a celestial body such as a comet, meteor or an ASTEROID, will collide with a planet.

    e.g., Mr. Spock said to Captain Kirk, "The 'asterisk' of an asteroid striking this planet is 1 in 200,000."

    submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

    astralgia - astralgia, n. (Gr. astro-, star + Gr. algos – pain, grief, distress; cf. nostalgia) -- a longing for stars and interstellar travels to the remote corners of the universe; homesickness for cosmos.

    e.g., The film "Gattaca" is about astralgia. The protagonist, Vincent, though deemed genetically flawed and subsequently fated to à low-level occupation, pursues to the end his dream of space travel.

    submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

    astrocosm - Our universe of stars, billions and billions of them.

    e.g., Space is filled with an infinity of suns, a veritable astrocosm.

    submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

    astrodupe - A person who has no clue what's going on.

    e.g., Chris is an astrodupe. He's completely out of it.

    submitted by Matt Bauman

    astrogeekological - Word describing someone who is way to into astrology and can tell you your sign without even thinking about it.

    e.g., January 2nd? Ooooh, bad news, baby, that boy is a nasty ol' Capricorn. Honey, you need to find yourself an Aquarius, I tell you.

    submitted by moira

    astrologise - 1. To read through many thick astrology books making strange incantations. 2. To figure out someone's stars, aka astrological sign.

    e.g., "It's time to astrologise," said Ibby as she ran to the library.

    submitted by Dr. Ibby

    astronautition - A person who likes to belive she knows everything about space, and the things in space.

    e.g., Our favorite astronautition, Caryl, says that there are NO pink planes in space.

    submitted by Jess

    astronette - A female who is part of the crew of a space shuttle. (ED. At least one such person (Lisa Nowak) is now being referred to as an "astronut.")

    e.g., The astronette felt compelled to stalk "the other woman."

    submitted by Norm De'Pleum

    astronumerometry - Counting stars.

    e.g., Some evenings, my girlfriend and I enjoy lying in the grass and engaging in enthusiastic astronumerometry.

    submitted by Drew

    astropimpmobile - A vehicle worthy of photographing and entering in a contest.

    e.g., "Your T-bird is an astropimpmobile, Mike. You should enter it." "I will, when I'm ready to get outa here."

    submitted by timon

    astroplasty - Surgical removal of synapses responsible for thoughts of space travel, quantum physics, Star Trek, and the like.

    e.g., Maybe after Steve has his astroplasty he can focus on getting some work done, or who knows, even hold down a job.

    submitted by steve zihlavsky

    astropolemic - (adj.) 1. Of or pertaining to Star Wars and its various themes, plots and subplots, characters, settings, tech, dialog, etc.; 2. of or pertaining to interstellar war, which, I am delighted to note, we have not yet had any experience---and, it is to be hoped, we do not have any experience for a

    [From the Greek αστρο- astro-, combining form of αστέρι asteri "star" + πολεμικ, derived adjectival form of πόλεμος "war."]

    e.g., I'll admit, 35 years ago, I loved all things astropolemic; now, however, I just don't feel it .... maybe I'm too old. || I remember fantasy literature classes exploding with astropolemic theories about the Force, the Jedi, the nature of the empire, and where George Lucas could take the story next. I'm not sure any of us kids expected the astropolemic denouement we ultimately received, nor the sequels. || When our colonies on Alpha Centauri B declare independence in 2253, we'll find out what real astropolemics are like.

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

    astrosludge - What Astroturf becomes when it is left out on a hot day in Arizona.

    e.g., I installed Astroturf last week, but when I went out in the 122 degree heat today, it had turned into Astrosludte and my feet stuck to it.

    submitted by Mallard

    astroturf - "Astroturf organizations are fake grassroots groups that are actually funded and promoted by corporate interests." | "ASTROTURF: Refers to apparently grassroots-based citizen groups or coalitions that are primarily conceived, created and/or funded by corporations, industry trade associations, political interests or public relations firms; an Astroturf group is an organization created by industry lobbyists that attempts to pose as a legitimate grassroots organization. These 'sockpuppet' groups advocate for industry-backed interests while pretending to have the well-being of consumers in mind. [[from the trademarked artificial grass, Astroturf, used on playing fields]]

  • {ED. Change you can count on? I'd say it's going to be many, many dollars and not just pocket change.}

    e.g., "Axelrod's firm, ASK Public Strategies, is the 'gold standard in Astroturf organizing.' 
    "While Barack Obama has angered many in the corporate community, rest assured that dollars will flow from the corporate coffers and officers of Exelon to fund Obama's road to the White House. History repeats itself as farce.

    "Who else may benefit from this rape of electricity consumers? There are the legions of investors in green schemes who are Obama supporters and whose uneconomic projects can only succeed through government arm-twisting (an Obama talent)."

    submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

    asymdope - Someone with a lot of space between her ears -- in other words, a dumb person.

    e.g., She doesn't know who the Vice President is? What an asymdope. Wasn't she one of Leno's jaywalkers last year?

    submitted by Nicky Ubben

    asymptoast - A breakfast food that can approach infinitely close to one's mouth but will never enter it.

    e.g., Ralph is so thin he looks like he's been on a diet of air and asymptoast.

    submitted by Bryn Kanar - (www)

    asyougo - The place at the top of or bottom of the stairs where stuff gets piled to be taken up or down the next time you're going that way.

    e.g., "Here, take this upstairs will you?" "Just put it on the asyougo and I'll get it next time"

    submitted by J Garbutt

    atari monster - Any oddly shaped and barely discernible creature, character, or object in a video game. Throwback to the days of Space Invaders, but refers specifically to newer video games that should have better graphics.

    e.g., I'm not dropping fifty bucks on this XBox game. Look at the graphics -- the people are atari monsters.

    submitted by wamydia

    atavistic nostalgia - Noun/ A mental game in which one expresses a fond remembrance of, & longing for, personalities &/or events with whom they themselves could have had no personal acquaintance or experience.

    e.g., Jennifer Lopez remembering the day she gave a royal command performance for Queen Victoria.

    submitted by steve

    atcha tate - In-your-face, persistent, irritating behavior.

    e.g., In life, we bear many crosses
    Some come from hard-nosed bosses
    Don't you really cringe and hate
    Whenever bosses atcha tate!

    submitted by Charlie Lesko

    ate up - Anything that's worn out, rusted out and ready for the trashcan. 1980s army slang.

    e.g., The tires on that truck are ate up!

    submitted by Nikki Sokol

    ate up - Overly committed to something.

    e.g., Jack: Check out Bob. He's ate up over this new job. Mac: Yeah, he'll be head fry cook one day.

    submitted by Toever

    ateupwiththedumbass - To be used when someone is really dull or stupid. Has nothing to do with the typeface Ateupwithdumbass.

    e.g., Look at Chris. He's really ateupwiththedumbass.

    submitted by Kitty

    atf - AssholeToleration Factor.

    e.g., Had to bust out of that staff meeting. My ATF was at an all time low and I was fixin' to hit someone.

    submitted by sin - (www)

    athabitajay - A had to be there joke.

    e.g., It was sooooooo funny. (no laughter) OK, then it was an athabitajay.

    submitted by tom

    athletic support - The practice of donating money to the Physical Education department in a school.

    e.g., Jock was really big on athletic support and urged others to follow suit.

    submitted by Wells Martin - (www)

    athlettuce - Apecial breed of powerful salad greens, naturally rich in iron, protein, and steroids, a jock favorite.

    e.g., You'd never guess that "The All-Natural Greasy Spoon" makes the best athlettuce salads in all of New York City.

    submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

    atifah - Person of satanic origin. Usually owns her own bowling alley, hair has preserved itself, etc..

    e.g., Rowena is nothing if not atifah.

    submitted by b15

    atlantish - Very typical of what you'd find in Atlanta.

    e.g., The crowd at the concert at Chastain Amphitheatre was so Atlantish, eating and drinking in high style while thoroughly enjoying the music.

    submitted by Sylvia Sacia

    atlastic - The feeling of having the weight of the world on your shoulders.

    e.g., The pressure made me feel extremely atlastic.

    submitted by Quinten

    atm disease - Having a wallet or pocket full of only $20 bills, usually recently acquired from an automatic teller machine.

    e.g., Can you break a $20? I've got a serious case of ATM disease, and I really need a Coke.

    submitted by Crossbow

    atmosfood - The combined assessment of a restaurant's food and environment.

    e.g., You should check out Le Fracais. The atmosfood is sublime.

    submitted by Tom Abrahamson

    atna - All Talk No Action.

    e.g., Once again, here is a person with the ATNA syndrome. Should this be tolerated any more, we will need to establish an ATNA community or union.

    submitted by Phil - (www)

    atom splitter - Sarcastic description of an unintelligent person, antithetical to the use of the phrases "rocket scientist" and "brain surgeon." Alternatively, a hangover of magnificent proportions, such that the sufferer feels and behaves like her neurons have fused together.

    e.g., Do you know Nancy? She's a real atom splitter, ain't she? OR I woke up this morning with a real atom splitter.

    submitted by Scott Oberg

    atomstalgia - Nostalgia for 1950s/60s cold war imagery. The feeling of disappointment that World War III hsan't started yet. (Hang in there, ET, we may be getting close.)

    e.g., These really bright August days remind me of Doctor Strangelove. I'm getting a strong burst of atomstalgia.

    submitted by Erasmus Thrasamund

    atonavoicia - A disorder of comprehension. Sufferers are unable to extract the hidden (and often completely contrary) meaning of a sentence based on the speaker's tone of voice alone.

    e.g., Sufferers are unable to discern that "No, I'm fine" can actually mean "Oh, God! I want to die!"

    submitted by Trent Clarke

    atrial sclerosis - (n.) 1. a buildup of people (chatting, talking, walking slowly, milling about purposelessly, whatever) clogging an atrium, or (by extension) clogging or narrowing free space in a hallway, doorway, stairway, highway, byway, grocery aisle, ticket booth, vel. cet. 2. a buildup of users attempting to access a site and using up all the bandwidth so you can't get in. (from arteriosclerosis 'hardening of the arteries.'---this analogy, btw, would make such a clog an 'atheromatous plaque' ... Greek for "porridge lump layers." Perhaps we should call all the people hogging a road or a website "Plaquers.)

    e.g., "Honey, I may be a while, I'm on the highway, but it's major atrial sclerosis out here: we're bumper-to-bumper at maybe five miles a day. You'd better go ahead and start without me." | "Wow, getting out of the stadium was sclerotic! How many people were in there?" | "I can't seem to get the La Virkin town ordinances to come up." "Well, what did you expect? they passed a law making the town a 'UN-free zone.'" "So what?" "Well, that's bizarre enough that everyone and their dog is looking it up. You'll never get through all the plaquers."

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

    atrium - What a hungry giraffe thinks just before it chows down on leaves.

    e.g., As Geoffrey the giraffe approached a lone tree, standing in the middle of the Serengetti, he thought, "Atrium!" (A tree! Yum!)

    submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

    ats! - when you have no better comeback to an argument then ats!( said as a sound, rather than as separate letters)

    e.g., someone says to you "at least i don't wet the bed", and you don't have a comeback you say "ats!"

    submitted by Nisse

    atsumara'u - meaning same as "what's the matter with you"

    e.g., "Atsumara'u, I told you to get me the shovel".

    submitted by Carlo - (www)

    attaboy - A compliment, a congratulations, a gift symbolizing same.

    e.g., They gave me tickets to the Rams-Bucs game the 26th as an attaboy. Unfortunately, I already had plans.

    submitted by PJ Morgan

    attaché - A person who uses a fake ID to get into a bar, but still makes his friend over 21 buy him his drinks.

    e.g., Jane: Who's he? Jay: He's my attaché, he's too scared to get his own drinks.

    submitted by Quigs

    attachiante - A French neologism. "Attachiante: a woman you can't live with but can't live without, as personified by Jeanne Moreau's character Catherine in François Truffaut's Jules et Jim." Attachiant.

    e.g., If God is kind to you, you won't have an attachiante in your life. | Which are there more of, attachiants or attachiantes? If you're a man, you might tend to think there would be more attachiantes, but that might well be a sexist viewpoint. When you consider the number of women in abusive relationships where the man is the abuser, attachiants might be greater in number.

    submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

    attackle - Sringing on top of someone and knocking them to the ground.

    e.g., Gena attackled me after I got home from overseas.

    submitted by measa

    attah ha'ish - (ah-TA high-EESH; interj.) 1. An accusation called out to show your listener that HE or SHE is actually the perpetrator of whatever misdeed is being discussed, especially if you've first been able to get your listener to condemn him- or herself out of his or her own mouth; also 2. an interjection to use when you realize just who the perpetrator of a misdeed is; 3. the sudden realization that YOU are guilty of whatever thing you have accused (or have thought about accusing) someone else of doing or having done.

    [Hebrew: "Thou art the man," the accusation leveled by Nathan the prophet at King David, after telling the king the story of the man who fed his friends his neighbor's pet lamb rather than one of his own many sheep (2 Samuel 12:1-7)---actually an allegory of David's murder of Uriah the Hittite so as to have Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, despite already having many wives and concubines (eleven or so, give or take two or three either way).]

    e.g., "Sufficient experimentation must result in certainty." "Certainty?! Bah! There's no such thing as 'certainty.'" "Oh, really? Are you sure?" "Absolutely." "Ha!! Attah ha'ish!" || "Lord Lawrence told us he had never been to see Lady Lydia ... attah ha'ish, Holmes! I know who the murderer is!" || "Who keeps leaving my papers on the ground instead of on my desk?" "That would be you." "Me?! Nonsense! I, um .... oh phooey: attah ha'ish."

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

    attakid - A (usually sarcastic) expression of acknowledgment, nice job, or congratulations.

    e.g., "I didn't finish my chemistry homework!" "Attakid."

    submitted by lauryn

    attention starvation disorder - The psychological disorder in which the patient is so starved for attention that she will do, write, or say anything, however ridiculous, in order to get attention.

    e.g., Even into his 30s, Ryan was so afflicted with attention starvation disorder that he would bring up unresolved childhood issues and discuss them while at work, lessening his productivity and interrupting others' productivity.

    submitted by Richard E. Martino - (www)

    attention whore - A person or house pet starved for attention to the point of being annoying. Attention whoring.

    e.g., Your dog always follows me around. She's an attention whore.

    submitted by chris - (www)

    attentionshoppers! - AttentionShoppers! are people who shamelessly promote their books, movies, shows, their celebrity, and their body parts, in any paper, magazine, TV, or radio show that might advance what they or their publicists conceive as their careers or wellbeing. Examples: Pamela Anderson promoting her breasts on TV recently with more gusto than a Dutch doorway prostitute, or Maureen Dowd tripping over herself to flog her book in interviews like a deathcamp executioner trying to get the whole six million in before the good times are over. Much the same as an attention whore.

    e.g., Both Pamela Anderson and Maureen Dowd qualify as AttentionShoppers!

    submitted by Ken Kiernan

    atternia - A medical condition afflicting lawyers who carry case loads that are too heavy for too long a period.

    e.g., My attorney Berie worked non-stop with a maximum case load for years. He seemed invincible until he picked up just one more client, and ended up hospitalized with an atternia.

    submitted by Mitchel Yerzy - (www)

    atthesametime - Simultaneously. Four syllables instead of six, 13 letters instead of 14.

    e.g., I was mildly amused (and simultaneously atthesametime annoyed) to see a couple of posters arguing in a forum about whether to use single quotation marks or double quotations marks for "words used ironically, with reservations, or in some unusual way." What to do is not as simple as either one seems to think: There is no absolute rule.

    submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

    attickle - A forceful and sustained tickle attack, rendering the recipient tearful, gasping, and vengeful.

    e.g., It was a completely unprovoked attickle. The only response was a nuclear pillow fight.

    submitted by stephfox - (www)

    attitone - Snotty attitude and tone.

    e.g., Chris's attitone made it difficult for people to stand to be around her.

    submitted by Lauren

    attitudal - When someone is sporting an attitude.

    e.g., What's her problem today, she is being so attitudal.

    submitted by Debbie

    attitude - Pornographic material.

    e.g., Schools ban all attitude websites.

    submitted by Massacre Matt

    attitudinal - Being overly difficult or cranky.

    e.g., Listen to me, young lady. Don't get attitudinal with me.

    submitted by lavelle

    attitudious - The state of having a lot of attitude; sassy.

    e.g., Having talked back to her instructor all through class, she was sent to Dean Wormer for being so attitudious.

    submitted by Aud

    attorniquette - 1. The established rules of civility between lawyers. 2. Rules of engagement between adversarial lawyers. 3. What lawyers used to kill each other in combat.

    e.g., Jan's objections to the color of the witness's tie was outside the bounds of attorniquette.

    submitted by Dana Friedman - (www)

    attornity - (rhymes with "the-BURN-it-see"; n.) 1. How long a lawsuit seems to a client once he's handed it over to the lawyers; 2. The time between (a) the hearing and (b) the judge's decision.

    e.g., To a man seeking legal redress for the destruction of his property, two years seems like an attornity; two years, however, is actually not very long as law suits go. I once represented a client against a town's new zoning regs, and it went on for eleven years. Now, THAT felt like an attornity.

    submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

    attractical - Something that is both attractive and practical.

    e.g., This living room layout is very attractical.

    submitted by Pam Zylik

    attrite - Constant reduction or wearing away through natural processes. From attrition.

    e.g., We won't make anyone redundant--eventually we'll attrite them.

    submitted by Sam

    attritionist - Someone who actively tries to be abrasive and rude; someone whose people skills involve rubbing people the wrong way to make them go away. Usually associated with someone whose postion grants her power by whom she's associated with, such as an administrative assistant (formerly, secretary).

    e.g., Barbara is a real attritionist unless she likes you.

    submitted by aaron dodd

    attroopment - "A disorderly or tumultuous crowd." French: attroupement = crowd, mob.

    e.g., "The great lesson which the reigns of the Byzantine princes are adapted to teach and to enforce, is the import- ance of a total abstinence in the magistrate from theo- logical interference and dogmatism. Let him strictly re- spect the political equality of religious sects, and not unlock the gates of advancement to the select or the alternate favourites of controversy. Whatever implies in the magistrate an opinion ought to be shunned as a badge of partiality and a harbinger of injustice. For want of this precaution the Constantinopolitan crown became the football of patriarchs and priests, and was tossed to new dynasties and upstarts, not for the imperial virtues of military excellence or legislative wisdom, but for preaching to seditious attroopments about the frac- tions of the Trinity, or headingthe statuaries in riots of the iconoclasts. The emperors who lent an ear to the alarms and apprehensions of their clergy became eventually the puppets of their patriarchs, and sullied their hands in the innocent blood of the zealous but ignorant pupils of fanaticism. Their empire weakened by division, their sway reviled by the persecuted with hereditary obstinacy of discontent, the intolerant sovereigns have all descended with unfavourable tinges to posterity, and miss their na- tural chance for a lenient civility of estimate. A real feebleness of mind is however implied in the magistrate's anxiety about symbolic formulas ; so true is the obser- vation of an historian of our own times, religiosa dissi- dia mx unquam nisi sub imbecili imperio floruisse depre- hendes." | "Calmly then Herman replied, but in words of a serious import: Whether I acted aright, Sir, I know not; I follow'd an impulse Such as my own heart gave me, as I shall proceed to inform you. Mother, you linger'd so long in sorting and folding the old things 'T was too late that the bundles were ready, but all had been pack'd up Carefully, hams, and the wine, and the beer, and the bacon. When I had past through the gates of the city, and quitted the pavement, All the attroopment of citizens, horsemen, women, and children Met me. Already the march of the fugitives was where the roads meet. Then I quicken'd the pace of my horses, and wade for the village, Where, as I heard, they would take some repose, and be station'd the dark night. Soon I attain'd to the cause-way, and saw, slow moving, a waggon, Drawn by a couple of oxen, the finest and stoutest of cattle, Drawn by a couple of oxen, the finest and stoutest of cattle, Guided with skill by a tall girl, who with a staff in her right hand Urged them or kept them behind. I stopt, and she came to me calmly Saying: Not always have sorrows and trouble been ours as at present, We 'are unaccustom'd to ask d the passing stranger assistance, Need has compell'd me to speak. See there in the straw lies a woman, Wife to our opulent owner, and suddenly taken in labor. We have been waiting to tend her, precarious still is her living, Naked the new-born child lies yet in her arms, and but little Have we to offer our patient, but little have others to spare us, Should we e'en reach them to night in the village they mean to repose at. If you are one of the neighbourhood, come to give help to the needy, Have you 'perchance some linen, it would indeed be of service."

    submitted by [lazeroni]

    aubry - To put a song in a person's head by whistling, humming, or singing it in her presence, causing her in turn to begin whistling, humming, or singing it, without being aware how the song entered her head in the first place.

    e.g., Wait a second. Why am I humming the "Banana Boat Song"? Did somebody aubry me?

    submitted by Derek McCulloch

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